Grace-filled Living Resources - Apr. 4, 2006

Life in General:
The Grace Awakening by Chuck Swindoll
The book that added bones to my vague understanding of Grace. Essential Reading!

Marriage:
Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
Redefines the purpose for marriage . . . what if it's not about making us happy but about making us holy.

For Women Only by Shaunti Feldahn
This is the first book I have ever read that so clearly communicated my husband's mind and heart in a way I could understand it. It was my AHA! book of 2005. She has now written For Men Only

Parenting:
Heartfelt Discipline by Clay Clarkson
This is the book I would have written if I hadn't been so busy raising my nine children. Clearly gets to the heart of parenting. Not as practical as I would like but I believe the heart change is needed in order to implement anything practical. Highly recommend ANYTHING by the Clay and Sally Clarkson

How to Talk so Your Kids will Listen and Listen so Your Kids will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Now this one is practical. Very clear examples on communicating with our children.

Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel
Don't actually own this one yet but have skimmed it in the bookstore. My basic impression is that it encompasses both the heart change that grace brings to the parent as well as practical positive application.

Biblical Parenting by Crystal Lutton
This book taught many of the tools that I use in my home on a daily basis.
Five steps, comfort corner, conflict resolution
Good study of the Rod verses included also.

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Chasing the Heart of my Daughter - Mar. 27, 2006

This morning I spent some time praying for my almost 15 yod.  Lately, she has been rather difficult to get along with.  Very moody, easily irritated, hard-hearted.  She seems to be closed to the Lord as if she is trying to shut down her spiritual life.  My husband and I have been feeling like we are trying to pound down a brick wall with our bare hands.  To be honest, I am weary of ending up in a bruised and bloody mess at the base of that wall.

This morning I just began to pray that God would show me how to reach her heart.  What to do.  What to say.  He began to give me his eyes for this daughter.  I think she is starting to struggle with the questions that chase most women.  :::shameless borrowing from Captivating by John and Staci Eldredge ahead::::  I think she is asking, "Am I beautiful?"  "Am I worthy?"  "Will you love me no matter what" 

I am afraid that the enemy has planted a seed that she is unlovable and as she is struggling with that I believe she is actually becoming difficult to love, almost subconsciously she is testing us to see if we really love her, if we really think she is worthy and beautiful. 
I know this because it is the same fight I have had over the years.  In my youth, I did not believe there was any value in me so I became a person of no value . . . giving myself away to anyone.  In my marriage, I have fallen prey to the enemies lies and have believed that I was not worth fighting for.  I believed that I was just a person who would be abandoned.  It was almost as if I were acting in a way that would make it easy for my husband to fulfill that negative prophecy.  There were times that I could almost hear myself screaming in my head, "Will you fight for me?  Will you love me  no matter what, no matter how ugly I can be?" 
Immature?  Yeah.  I was stuck in a childhood pattern. 
Praise God for His infinite love, grace and mercy.  Praise God for a husband who does love me enough to fight for me, to work at tearing down the brick wall I had put around my heart, who sees my beauty, inside and out.

God revealed to me this morning that my daughter is struggling with those questions.  Our answer has to be to love her, to love her enough to wipe out the fear of not being enough, of not being beautiful, of not being worthy.
It is difficult not to react in the flesh.  My flesh wants to buckle down, get more strict, nip it in the bud.  God's heart says run toward her . . . though I want to turn away from this ugly behavior, I cannot.  I have to run toward her and chase her with love and prayer.  It is His kindness that leads to repentance.  I pray for God's lovingkindness to be so full in my life that it would overflow and pour all over her.

It is about patience . . . which I believe is much more accurately translated in the KJV . . . longsuffering.  Suffer long.  Our God is patient, he is longsuffering, He is willing to suffer long for our sakes.  Am I willing to suffer long for the sake of my children?  Oh, my flesh screams "NO!"  I want this to be easy.  I don't want to deal with this behavior.  I don't want to suffer little, much less long.  But God's heart suffers long and I desire to have the heart of my father.

Teach me, Lord.  Show me how.  I cannot do this without you.  You are my strength and your grace is sufficient.  It is your perfect love that drives away fear and I pray that your love will be strong in me, strong and evident, full and overflowing.
Thank you Lord for your guidance.  You are a real God.  Blessing and honor and glory be to your name, forever and ever.

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Parenting by Grace - Mar. 26, 2006

I have added a link to my sidebar.  I have tons of links ... at least, I used to have tons of links.  We just switched to a new computer and I successfully imported all my favorites from the old computer before the old computer bit the dust.  But then, the unthinkable!  Some weird glitch on Saturday and I had to reformat the hard drive and everything went POOF!  Oh well.  I found them once, I should be able to find them again, don't you think?  It's all a matter of trusting God to lead me even on the internet journey.

Back to the link though.  I wrote yesterday about a new online homeschool community.  This is sort of a chance for a fresh start and I am being led by the Lord to be more vocal about our parenting paradigm shift.  Already someone has asked if anyone has switched from being a spanking parent to a non-spanking parent.  I was so excited to share my testimony, just a bit of it.  It is a process and I am trying to walk close to the Lord and let Him lead me and teach me.  While posting on that thread, I rediscovered the first Parenting by Grace article I read and I would have to say it was the best as well.  God  spoke to my heart and to my mind through the words.  Granted, it doesn't get specific but that is what God tore from my hands . . . the formulas, the recipes, the crutch.  He wants me to depend on Him, each and every time.  I can't have it all figured out.  I have to seek His wisdom constantly and He is faithful to guide me. 

I originally planned on posting the link here today and including some snippets from the article.  It is all so good though.  A clear contrast between parenting by law and parenting by grace is given.  I hope you will take time to read it.  If you are interested in conversing about the article, feel free to email me. 

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A New Home - Mar. 25, 2006

I never moved when I was growing up.  My childhood and into adulthood was spent in the same house until I married my husband at age twenty-one.  The anxiety of moving away from old friends, having to make new friends, never haunted me.  Though I can imagine the turmoil, the emotional death, the challenge. 

It is funny how the internet creates community.  People, from all over the world, in different stages of life, in various socio-economic states, sit in front of a screen and find comraderie with virtual strangers who quickly become virtual friends.  The emotional ties are just as strong, if not stronger, than real life relationships.  Through the internet, we find encouragement, hope, prayers. 

So imagine with me.  One morning, the parents sit the children at the table and say,  "A move has been made and starting today, you may not be able to make contact with your old friends but we expect for you to smile, make the best of it, find some new friends."  They get up and escort the children out the door and to a new life.  The fear, the timidity, the worry, the anger, the sense of betrayal.  All of these changes, out of their control.

This is what happens when major changes happen in online communities.  There is emotional upheaval.  Speculation and words fly.  Feelings are thrown about.  Eventually, peace and good reason reign and we pick ourselves up, dragging the luggage behind us, we find a new place to roost, to make our home.

That is where I find myself these days.  Moving into a new home, unpacking, meeting the neighbors, greetings some old friends who have moved with me.  To my delight, it is beginning to feel like home . . . inviting, eclectic, stimulating.  It has become a few minutes of haven in the midst of a busy life.  I am receiving and sharing encouragement with a home-full of incredible people. 
I think we have had our housewarming party and are ready to entertain and be hospitable so I invite you to join us at A Home for Homeschoolers.  You will find a big comfortable chair waiting for you by the fireplace.  Hope to see you there.

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Since I LOVE quotes! - Mar. 5, 2006

Your wise quote is: "Be kind to unkind people,
they probably need it the most" by
Ashleigh Brilliant.
You try to look beyond apperance, try to give
people second chances and are probably very
kind. Understanding is your biggest
personality trait, and thoose you can see
through should be grateful. If they aren't
already. You detest narrow minded people,
because they can't see what's really there.
Facades is not your thing and you strive to
always be who you really are.

What wise quote fits you? [pics]
brought to you by Quizilla

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Learning to trust - Mar. 3, 2006

Feeling contemplative this morning.  I cannot really identify it but the need to sit down, close my eyes and let my fingers fly across the keyboard is overwhelming.  Something within me is longing to escape, longing to see the light, to be exposed to the truth.  What is it?  What has happened this week?  Nothing comes to mind.  Nothing earth shattering.  Even no accumulation of past thoughts  I don't know.  Maybe it is just a lack of sleep.  I could not sleep last night and there is a big day planned today.  So, it could be just the the cobwebs have not been swept, or slept, out of my brain.

Been going through a bit of online upheaval this week.  A beloved message board has become inassessible to me and to others leaving many feeling like refugees.  Thankfully, there is recognition that an entity, company or corporation does not provide or make community.  It is people who make community.  And thankfully, there other online places to meet and we are all gathering and regathering working towards digging in roots and creating something new.  This is a good thing however all of the surrounding circumstances have left me thinking.

Who is my support?  Who is my encourager?  Who is my lifeline?  These are all words used by those lamenting the potential loss of online friends.
Philippians 4:19 says,
19And my God will liberally supply (^[a]fill to the full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

God will supply EVERY need.  He knows what I need.  He knows when I am discouraged.  He knows when I need support.  He knows when I need wisdom.  God is the source of meeting all my needs.  He is not limited by ANYTHING and certainly He is not limited by the loss of online community.  It may be the very thing He will use in my life to turn my face back to Him, my strong tower, my refuge, my very present help in time of trouble.

Really, when there is trouble, where do I turn first?  To the Lord?  Oh, I wish it were true.  I don't.  I know that I don't.  I turn to my husband, to a trusted friend, to advice from others.  Who is my help?  Who is my refuge?  Who will bring me peace?

Isaiah 26:3

You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You.

My prayer is that my trust in the Lord will grow and that I will run to Him first, always.  I do eventually get around to casting the cares on the Lord but why do I wait?  Does God understand?  Yes.  I am only robbing myself o the perfect peace that is available when God is allowed to take over.

One of the lessons that I have learned this week is that I am not to be dependent on anyone or anything other than God.  To do so is a form of idolization.  Do I want to admit that there are idols in my life?  No but truly, there may be.  If anything is taking the place of God it is because of my own choice; I am placing it there before God.   I can trust God to meet my need in the best way.  He knows my need and He knows best how to meet that need. It may not be the way I would choose but I can trust Him.

Learning to trust.  Learning to trust.

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Remembering - Feb. 15, 2006

Ecc 12:12  But beyond this, my son, be warned: the writing of many books is endless, and excessive devotion to books is wearying to the body.

Ok, I remembered the first part of that verse and wanted to include it as the introduction to my post today but then there is the second part which could lead me to an entirely different post.  Not today, not today.  So forgive me as I quote the verse in part.

In Ecclesiastes, it says that  the writing of many books is endless.  Oh, isn’t it so?  And the writing of books about writing …. Endless.  Behind me, there is a STACK of books devoted to the art of writing.  I am constantly flipping through, reading, writing snippets from exercises in the books.  I love finding a new books about writing.
Today's post is from a new book, not necessarily about writing but I am using it as prompts.   What’s Your Story: An Interactive Guide to Building Authentic Relationships  by  Toben and Joanne Heim.  
From the back cover: 
Do your friends know what REALLY matters to you?  Do you know what REALLY matters to them?  Or is it the same old boring routine?  Ask a simple question, get a simple answer, and never really get to know the person.  How do you build authentic relationships?  Real, personal, intimate relationships?  From discussing your favorite things to sharing fears, WHAT’S YOUR STORY? Is an interactive guide to bring people together into deeper, more meaningful connections.  Join authors Toben and Joanne Heim and others as they converse about their stories – their past, present, future, values and opinions, and faith.  Follow their stories through essays, or record your own story on the journal pages.  Break out of the traditional mode of conversation at parties or gatherings and get to deeper issues.  Deepen your relationships as you talk about – and listen to – the things that really matter.  

Here is the first of my posts in What’s My Story, as I turn around and face the past as it must be included in the story of my life.

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What would life be like if we could wake up one day and our memories could be gone, erased, cleared away.  All the agony of mistakes, broken hearts and failures wouldn’t exist. But gone too would be the joy of smiles, long conversations, the first kiss. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind lays out this scenario and its temptation and its consequences.  Unfortunately, there are elements of the movie that echo in my own life.  I have tried to blot out the past with its mistakes that are too painful to remember.  The childhood was lonely, bland, hopeless.  But in my efforts, I have blocked out wonderful memories. I want to remember. I want to know who I was then and what my heritage is.  I want to write my story.  But to remember the good, I will also have to remember the bad and the ugly.
Even in my most recent past, my inclination is to try to forget my faults, my shortcomings, my poor choices.  It is tempting to stay focused on today and ignore the time when I was younger and more foolish.  However, as I take up the broom to clear my mind of  those unpleasant thoughts, the sweet memories are swept out the door also.
My ability to remember is starting to fade with my age.  I don’t want to lose myself. Forgetting who I was denies the process that made me, is making me, who I am. I don’t want to let my children lose themselves.  Their minds should be brimming with recollections. Our time should be spent making memories for the future and recalling the memories of the past.
Though it is tempting to clean things up a bit, to rewrite history and try to recreate what has happened in the past, I cannot.  It would be like altering a masterpiece in the making. A finished product does not exist but is still being formed. I cannot erase what is already there and I cannot cover it up either.  The beauty of the cracks and flaws needs to be allowed to define me.
God must know our tendency to try to forget, to hide, to wash away the past.  He must know how easy it is to forget even the wonderful things, the deliverance, the miracles.  Many times, God tells the Israelites to remember and we are told to remember.
Therefore, remember, I must.
The journey into the past illuminates the present and takes part in creating the future.

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Hello Again, Hello - Feb. 14, 2006

It has been a long time, too long, since I sat down and composed my thoughts for myself or for the blog.  During the gray days, when I probably needed it most, I gave up my writing.  I didn’t nurture it, didn’t pursue it, didn’t acknowledge it.  Writing is as a life spring to me.  Without it, an arid and barren land barely exists within me.

Emerging from the gray place is like waking up from a deep, heavy sleep.  The eyes struggle open then close again, repeating several times.  A slow realization dawns that the window ushers in light.  It is not morning but late in the day and the roar of wasted minutes, days, weeks and months jolts me to my feet.  I am frantic to get on with my life but the oppressive fog of sleep still disables me.  It takes so long to shake the weariness from my bones but eventually I am moving fluid again.  The routine of life settles around me and moves me along a comfortable rut.  I eagerly follow the trail because it is a relief to be stepping forward.  These are the necessary things of life, the duties of who I am. 

Eventually full consciousness comes upon me and I can see clearly that I have left things behind, before the gray time, that are vital elements of my identity.  Weak reasoning had put them on the shelf.  Noble-sounding excuses packed away the skills, the art, the desire.  After my awakening, I keenly feel the loss and struggle to find the missing pieces.

There are many but all seem to hinge on one thing.  Writing.  I had devalued my writing into non-existence. Playing the part of a false martyr, the writer suffered and died for no good cause.  There is a time to die, to die to oneself.  This was not that time. 

Nothing was accomplished by a season of not writing. A more joyful wife doesn’t greet my husband.  My children are not embraced by a more loving mother. I am not a more caring daughter or sister.  A more faithful friend doesn’t serve my friends. I am not a truer Christian or a better person because I sacrificed my writing. The fact is that God speaks to me through the process of writing. It is in that process that He pierces my heart with his truth.  Yet I gave it all up freely, with loose hands because I thought it was a sacrifice unto Him.  The enemy has deceived me. 

I am glad to be back at the work that God has given me.  My deepest desire is to please Him and I just like Eric Liddell felt that God smiled when he ran, I believe that God smiles when I write.   

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My part - Jan. 2, 2006

Today I read Isaiah 45.  This chapter is the message of God revealing himself to a pagan, foreign King, Cyrus, who would allow Israel to go back to their homeland from exile in 538 B.C.  The ancient historian Josephus relates that King Cyrus decided to let Israel go when he read this passage about himself.

Isaiah 45

 ¹ "This is what the LORD says to his anointed,
       to Cyrus, whose right hand I take hold of
       to subdue nations before him
       and to strip kings of their armor,
       to open doors before him
       so that gates will not be shut:

 ² I will go before you
       and will level the mountains ^[a] ;
       I will break down gates of bronze
       and cut through bars of iron.

 ³ I will give you the treasures of darkness,
       riches stored in secret places,
       so that you may know that I am the LORD,
       the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

 ⁴ For the sake of Jacob my servant,
       of Israel my chosen,
       I summon you by name
       and bestow on you a title of honor,
       though you do not acknowledge me.

 ⁵ I am the LORD, and there is no other;
       apart from me there is no God.
       I will strengthen you,
       though you have not acknowledged me,

 ⁶ so that from the rising of the sun
       to the place of its setting
       men may know there is none besides me.
       I am the LORD, and there is no other.

 ⁷ I form the light and create darkness,
       I bring prosperity and create disaster;
       I, the LORD, do all these things.

 ⁸ "You heavens above, rain down righteousness;
       let the clouds shower it down.
       Let the earth open wide,
       let salvation spring up,
       let righteousness grow with it;
       I, the LORD, have created it.

 ⁹ "Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker,
       to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground.
       Does the clay say to the potter,
       'What are you making?'
       Does your work say,
       'He has no hands'?

 ¹⁰ Woe to him who says to his father,
       'What have you begotten?'
       or to his mother,
       'What have you brought to birth?'

 ¹¹ "This is what the LORD says—
       the Holy One of Israel, and its Maker:
       Concerning things to come,
       do you question me about my children,
       or give me orders about the work of my hands?

 ¹² It is I who made the earth
       and created mankind upon it.
       My own hands stretched out the heavens;
       I marshaled their starry hosts.

 ¹³ I will raise up Cyrus ^[b] in my righteousness:
       I will make all his ways straight.
       He will rebuild my city
       and set my exiles free,
       but not for a price or reward,
       says the LORD Almighty."

 ¹⁴ This is what the LORD says:
       "The products of Egypt and the merchandise of Cush, ^[c]
       and those tall Sabeans—
       they will come over to you
       and will be yours;
       they will trudge behind you,
       coming over to you in chains.
       They will bow down before you
       and plead with you, saying,
       'Surely God is with you, and there is no other;
       there is no other god.' "

 ¹⁵ Truly you are a God who hides himself,
       O God and Savior of Israel.

 ¹⁶ All the makers of idols will be put to shame and disgraced;
       they will go off into disgrace together.

 ¹⁷ But Israel will be saved by the LORD
       with an everlasting salvation;
       you will never be put to shame or disgraced,
       to ages everlasting.

 ¹⁸ For this is what the LORD says—
       he who created the heavens,
       he is God;
       he who fashioned and made the earth,
       he founded it;
       he did not create it to be empty,
       but formed it to be inhabited—
       he says:
       "I am the LORD,
       and there is no other.

 ¹⁹ I have not spoken in secret,
       from somewhere in a land of darkness;
       I have not said to Jacob's descendants,
       'Seek me in vain.'
       I, the LORD, speak the truth;
       I declare what is right.

 ²⁰ "Gather together and come;
       assemble, you fugitives from the nations.
       Ignorant are those who carry about idols of wood,
       who pray to gods that cannot save.

 ²¹ Declare what is to be, present it—
       let them take counsel together.
       Who foretold this long ago,
       who declared it from the distant past?
       Was it not I, the LORD ?
       And there is no God apart from me,
       a righteous God and a Savior;
       there is none but me.

 ²² "Turn to me and be saved,
       all you ends of the earth;
       for I am God, and there is no other.

 ²³ By myself I have sworn,
       my mouth has uttered in all integrity
       a word that will not be revoked:
       Before me every knee will bow;
       by me every tongue will swear.

 ²⁴ They will say of me, 'In the LORD alone
       are righteousness and strength.' "
       All who have raged against him
       will come to him and be put to shame.

 ²⁵ But in the LORD all the descendants of Israel
       will be found righteous and will exult.

The thing that strikes me so prominently from this scripture is that God had a plan and a purpose for His people and Cyrus was part of that plan.  God obviously had a plan and a purpose for the life of King Cyrus.  I think some would say that Cyrus was just a pawn in the hands of a chess master, being played but for the purpose of another.

I don't see it that way.

There was great significance to Cyrus' life, a purpose to change the fate of God's people.  God has a plan and a purpose for His people today, Jew and Gentile alike.  He has a plan and my life has significance.  I have a role to play, a part in the scene, the act, the play.  I cannot know my part if I am not studying the creation of the author: the words He has inspired, the works His hands have done, the lives that He has knit together for His purpose and His pleasure.  I am in His story.  My story is HIS story.  I want to live my part well.

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Dreams and Mosaics - Jan. 1, 2006

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Hiatus - Nov. 30, 2005

I am going to take an online fast.  Waves of depression are still rolling over me and I have found that I am starting to try and escape into an online world.  It is no different than people who escape with alcohol, drugs, food, busy-ness.  I have precious little physical, mental or emotional energy and I need to expend that at home with my family. I will be back at the first of the year.  I covet your prayers during this time.

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Seasons of Love - Nov. 30, 2005

Seasons Of Love

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?

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Life Quotes - Nov. 29, 2005

Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. -- Gandhi

 For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin--real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.-- Alfred D. Souza

 It is not length of life, but depth of life. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

 The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. -- Anonymous

 Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. -- Danny Kaye

 And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.-- Abraham Lincoln

 There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. -- Albert Einstein

 Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway. -- Steven Coallier

 Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting. -- Karl Wallenda

 Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways. -- Anonymous

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There has been a prevalent theme the past three days.  Live life.  Live life to the fullest and overflowing.  Today.  No regrets.  No worries.  Smile.  Laugh.  Skip.  Sing.  Dance.  Live life out loud, arms wide open, ready to embrace the world.  Serve.  Cry.  Weep.  Wail.  Feel.  Live, love and learn.  Passionately.  Dangerously.  Unhindered.  With abandon.  Say Yes.  Yes.  YES!  Be filled with and wonder, wide-eyed wonder.  Breathe.  Inhale.  Exhale.  Live.  Color outside the lines with big fat crayons.  Inspire and be inspired.  Encourage and be encouraged.  Believe.  Pray and believe.  Accept and be accepted.  Live.  Immersed in the mystery.

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Monday Madness - Nov. 28, 2005

1. I've always been afraid of letting others see the real me.
2. People should not talk on cell phones while performing surgery.
3. The one thing I look forward to every day is hearing my children laugh.
4. My first meal of the day usually consists of whole grains and fruit.
5. It seems like laundry is a never-ending job.
6. The last time I painted a room in my house/apartment was 2003.
7. The next time I paint, I'd like to paint my living room deep yellow gold.

Check out Monday Madness.

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My first painting - Nov. 27, 2005

Julie at Two Small Birds inspired me with her post, Some Stories are Best Told in Color
I have always wanted to paint but I wasn't the artist in the family.  My brother was the artist.  I was the bookworm.  (Parents, be careful of the labels that you lovingly give your children.  You may pigeon-hole them for the rest of their lives). Julie posts about starting to paint after her son was born, about how she thought she couldn't paint because she "couldn't even draw", and she shows off some soul-full paintings. 
Last night, my children and I pulled out their painting supplies.  About a dozen bottles of tempera paint, some cardstock and Walmart paintbrushes.  I wasn't starting with quality stuff here but it was important to just put some color on the paper.  We sat and painted together for about an hour.  It was very peaceful and absorbing. 
So here's my first painting:



I am anxious to paint more, to re-discover the artist that I thought I never could be.

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I didn't think I was depressed - Nov. 26, 2005

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He knows my name - Nov. 25, 2005

¹O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
    ²You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
         You understand my thought from afar.
    ³You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
         And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
    ⁴Even before there is a word on my tongue,
         Behold, O LORD, You know it all.
    ⁵You have enclosed me behind and before,
         And laid Your hand upon me.
    ⁶Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
         It is too high, I cannot attain to it.
    ⁷Where can I go from Your Spirit?
         Or where can I flee from Your presence?
    ⁸If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
         If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
    ⁹If I take the wings of the dawn,
         If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
    ¹⁰Even there Your hand will lead me,
         And Your right hand will lay hold of me.
    ¹¹If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
         And the light around me will be night,"
    ¹²Even the darkness is not dark to You,
         And the night is as bright as the day
         Darkness and light are alike to You.
    ¹³For You formed my inward parts;
         You wove me in my mother's womb.
    ¹⁴I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
         Wonderful are Your works,
         And my soul knows it very well.
    ¹⁵My frame was not hidden from You,
         When I was made in secret,
         And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
    ¹⁶Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
         And in Your book were all written
         The days that were ordained for me,
         When as yet there was not one of them.
    ¹⁷How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
         How vast is the sum of them!
    ¹⁸If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand
         When I awake, I am still with You.
    ¹⁹O that You would slay the wicked, O God;
         Depart from me, therefore, men of bloodshed.
    ²⁰For they speak against You wickedly,
         And Your enemies take Your name in vain.
    ²¹Do I not hate those who hate You, O LORD?
         And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
    ²²I hate them with the utmost hatred;
         They have become my enemies.
    ²³Search me, O God, and know my heart;
         Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
    ²⁴And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
         And lead me in the everlasting way.

Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee."

I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands


Chorus
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and He hears me when I call



I have a Father
He calls me His own
He’ll never leave me
No matter where I go



Chorus
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and He hears me when I call

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Thursday Thirteen - Nov. 24, 2005

Thirteen Things that Cynthia is Thankful for: 1. For Internet which makes finding delicious recipes for Thanksgiving SO easy 2. For not going back to sleep this morning when the alarm went off 3. That Jesus came to set captives free 4. That my Daddy experienced that freedom in the last years of his life and we were restored to a sweet relationship 5. That I talked to both my brothers in the last week. 6. For hot tea sweetened with honey, specifically Sunset Rose by Twinings 7. For more books than I will ever be able to read 8. For Autumn, my favorite time of year, crisp and bright 9. For a new church fellowship in which I am still finding my way 10. For silence 11. For my children who delight me, teach me, mature me. 12. For my hu