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Thoughts Along the Way
Monday, May 12, 2008
Being Renewed Day by Day
Where have I been? Good question.
Where have I been?
I pretty much crashed after a very busy month of good things and many celebrations. Four birthdays, an anniversary and a college graduation. Whew! Field trips, Freedom Workshop, art festivals, you name it, we did it....almost. It was a lot for this little momma to handle.
And you know what? I thought I had it all together. I certainly didn't want anyone to know that a little extra activity wore me out. But it did. Too much activity for me along with too much sugar from all those celebration cakes as well as too little exercise, added up to me flirtin' with depression.
I admit last week was a hard week for me. I had been really looking forward to just getting back into a normal routine - settling back into school with the kids, getting my laundry done and my house back in order. I didn't count on my weak earthly body and mind showing what they're made of.
I honestly thought that now that I have gone to Freedom Workshop and I am learning to - through the power of the Holy Spirit - turn from my sinful nature and listen to God's voice and follow Him.... that I would be free from anxiety and depression. Ha!
Well, I think that first of all that is rather prideful, isn't it? Yeah, I go through 6 weeks of the Freedom Workshop and I've got it down! Something that Debbie, the one the Lord uses to lead this workshop, says she still doesn't have down! She still forgets to remember.... and so do I.
For a reason only God knows, and I know that He knows what is best, anxiety and depression are part of my weaknesses here on earth. I praise and thank Him that it is not clinical. He is using my weakness in so many ways to glorify Himself through my life as well as to get me to Him, over and over and over. Without my weaknesses, I truly would think that I could do this life all on my own. So I thank Him for my weaknesses.
I was reading in 2 Corinthians 4 and 5 this morning. The Lord is so good.
This is what 2 Corinthians 4: 5-7 says:
You see, we don’t go around preaching about ourselves. We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.
We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.
It is all about Him. My "message" to all I come in contact with is to be Jesus. The light and power inside me is Him. My troubles, trials and dying body all serve to display His life. When I share with others about my sufferings I do not want the focus to be on the sufferings, I pray that Jesus is seen through me and my sufferings.
2 Corinthians 4: 16-18 says:
That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
I had to confess to the Lord that I focus on my troubles way more than I look forward to what is to come. My desire is that His life shine through my "dying body." As I sat in the quiet this morning and focused on His Word I felt it "penetrate deep within (my) heart." I felt it bringing "life and radiant health" (Proverbs 4: 20-22) to me as He uncovered the meaning of His Word to me.
And so begins a new week. I am trusting in the Lord for the strength I need. How about you?
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