I've never been much of a seamstress.  I never took home economics in high school.  I concentrated on more academic pursuits.  The few sewing projects I have attempted over the years have been full of much frustration and little success.  So I can't really explain why I've had this sudden desire to sew clothes lately.  Part of it is the lack of ready made clothing that is easy for me to nurse in, or has long-enough skirts for my older daughter.  But that doesn't totally explain it, because this time, I'm actually enjoying sewing.

     So I decided that sewing clothes would be faster and easier if I had a serger.  Mind you, I've never even seen anyone operate a serger.  I know absolutely zilch about sergers.  But the instructions in my patterns make life seem so much easier with a serger, so Joel bought me one for an anniversary present.  I confess I was very intimidated by the contraption.  I can now thread my sewing machine quite quickly, but the serger has two needles and two loopers, with a separate tension dial for each.  I watched the DVD that came with the machine and felt I was up to the challenge.  Imagine my delight when I pulled the serger from the box to discover it had already been threaded at the factory!  The tension dials were all set and someone had already done a test with a strip of fabric and stamped O.K. on it!  (If I had it to do over, I would have written down those tension settings.)  I was all set to go and I didn't have to face the intimidation of setting up the thing myself!

     Then, I turned my back a second too long on my little Mistress of Mischief.  By the time I look again, she had pulled the sample fabric from the serger, tangled all four of the threaded strings, and adjusted the tension dials to their extremes.   So I began the long and difficult journey of getting acquainted with my serger and learning by trial and mostly error what does and doesn't work.  After watching the video twice more, investing two weeks of effort, rethreading the machine multiple times, and pestering my serger-owning friends with questions, I finally succeeded in getting it to serge like the video!   (This time, I immediately wrote down the tension settings!)  I decided that God must want to work on my perseverance! 

     I recently read an article that was printed in 1917.  It said that the most priceless characteristic a woman can possess is poise, and the best way to develop poise was through sewing.  I scoffed, and thought, "How could sewing teach some one all that?"  Well, now I know.  When you realize you've sewn the sleeve on inside out, or the last two panels on your skirt were topstitched after the bobbin thread ran out, or you learned what "with nap" means after you cut out your dress wrong, or the bobbin thread freaked out and made so many loose loops your daughter's dress looks like it has a fur collar, you either scream or learn to be poised.

     I'm making a lot of mistakes in my sewing, some cost me time, some cost me money, most cost me both.  But I'm striving to not make the same mistake twice.  My goal is to make a new mistake each day.  (I've given up on a mistake-free sewing project!)  I've discovered that once I accept fact that it won't be fast, it won't work right first time, and I'll absolutely positively have to use my seam ripper, it is a much more enjoyable process.  Trying to do well and be fast while learning a new skill is only an exercise in frustration and disappointment.  I've decided to give myself grace and rename "failing" as "learning".

     Life is a lot like that too.   I am an unsatisfied perfectionist.  I'm much happier when I accept the fact that I won't get it perfect the first time right from the start.  I'm so glad that God extends His grace to us too in life, even when we are too stubborn or proud to accept it.  

     In today's culture of moral relativity, where a unified standard for all is ridiculed, one thing often strikes me.  Whatever standard a person holds up for himself as what a "good" person should do, he or she can not attain it.  When we're honest, we see that no one can say they don't have regrets or haven't made mistakes.  And that's just by our own human standards.  If we can't live up to our own self-defined standards, how could we ever hope to live up to a holy God's true standards?  What hope do we have of ever being "good enough" for Him?  Have you ever tried to please a perfectionist?  It can't be done.  Well, God is the only Perfect Perfectionist.  If we can't please human perfectionists who are themselves flawed (though we hate to admit it), how could we ever please Him?  This, friends is the bad news.  We must accept the "bad news" as true before we can take real delight in the "Good News" (which is what Gospel means).  The Good News is He knows we can never attain righteousness on our own, and so has provided His own righteousness for us through Jesus' sacrifice.

     As I said before, I'm so glad He offers us grace.  I'm God's little Mistress of Mischief, interfering with His plans, sometimes innocently, sometimes willfully.  He could make much more beautiful creations without my "help".  Often, I tangle the threads when He could skillfully make the stitches even and neat.  Yet, in spite of my buffoonery, He lets me work alongside Him for the same reason I let my two-year old stay in the room with me when I'm trying to sew.  He loves me.  Relationships are more important than accomplishments.

     I have now talked to my daughter about the dangers of touching mommy's serger and the need to not so much as breathe out forcefully on the tension dials.  My serger and I have now come to an understanding, and I have completed my first project with it--a denim skirt.  When I opened the box to my new serger, I had no idea of all the lessons God had waiting inside for me--perseverance, grace, and most of all His love.