Chicken Soup for the Mortal Soul

• Aug. 26, 2008 - Walking Home from Piano Lessons, 100 Degree Weather, when I Saw this Vending Machine, and...

Posted in Funny

Man, that was so worth $1.25.

~Nick

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• May. 27, 2008 - Ernie Comes Home...

Posted in Funny

About two weeks ago, I went to our local thrift store. We looked around, found everything we needed, and were heading out, when my Mom said, 'Nick, look at that mug in that display case!

I looked, and this is what I saw:

It was the funniest mug I had ever seen! Naturally, I couldn't resist buying it for $0.98.

I've nick-named the mug-man Ernie. Why? I don't know. It looks like an Ernie to me.

Ernie has not only brought me a warped joy, he's also inspired a new product line.

And, since we luckily have Gimp, Jake has helped me to make some pictures of Ernie, in his average day, heroic life. Here's Ernie:

That's Ernie for you! :-)

~Nick

© Copyright 2008 by Nick Joel.

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• Apr. 26, 2008 - Artistic Flops

Posted in Funny

Hello, my viewers who love me... :-)

Well, the title says it all. I like to think of myself as an artist. I specialize in knights, Orcs, aliens, and all those other cool things. But not people.

Just the other day, I attempted to draw a picture of the first ten presidents. They ended up looking like zombies. Thus the name of the picture:

After this horrible flopped attempt at drawing our presidents, I attempted to draw something that I'm better at, Orcs.

And those are my artistic works. You can laugh at the Presidential one, I know it's not very good... :-)

~Nick

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• Apr. 17, 2008 - Old Philosophy Pops Up Again...

Posted in Funny

Here's a very interesting study I found about an older philosophy that is popping up again and again in the average American's household... I found it very true, and we must correct people who believe in this false philosophy... or their grammar...

Oh yes, this is not one of those forwards that I scraped from the middle of that long email road... no, someone did not send this to me. I found it by my self.

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The 'Michael's Third Regiment' Theory
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In our lives, across America, mostly, many people are falling under a false philosophy that has popped up again and again in our current age. Many young people are being pulled into it, many without even knowing it. This philosophy is known as the 'Michael's Third Regiment' Theory.

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The Michael's Third Regiment Theory states that Jesus did not die on the cross, as is said in the Bible, but that he died in the position of the Lord's Army, while riding on the donkey into Jerusalem, supposedly to start a battle.

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This is not a new theory, and it actually dates back to the eighteen-hundreds. Some of the greatest Christian Scholars themselves, like George Bennard, William R. Newell, and even Walter G. Taylor believed in this false philosophy, and it shows through all of their works. For example; in the song by Mr. George Bennnard, it states that:

For the dear Lamb of God left His glory above to bear it to dark Cavalry.

And again, Bill Newell also threw some of this philosophy into his works. For example:

Knowing not it was for me He died on Cavalry.

And lastly, Walter Taylor threw some of the theory into her works. Example:

My guilt and despair Jesus took on Him there... And Cavalry covers it all.

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Even Sunday school teachers of Christian, Baptist, even Methodist churches all alike tell their students that Jesus died for them on [the] Cavalry.

Even my Mother tells my younger sisters and brothers that Jesus died for them on Cavalry.

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It's very sad today that Americans believe this false theory, that Jesus himself died on the his donkey, in God's Cavalry. We as Christians, or at least as grammar freaks, should tell people that Jesus did not die on Cavalry, but that indeed, he suffered on Calvary for our sins.

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Please take care that you don't tell people that Jesus died on Cavalry. Instead, tell them the truth, not only about Jesus, and where he died, but also tell them about grammar, and how important grammar is vital to the American Language.

Written by:
Jamie Brown, Ph.D.
Joel Satchell, Ph.D.

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Please, tell everyone about this. Help our country's grammar.

~Nick

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• Jan. 29, 2008 - Family!

Posted in Funny

And thus ends my ten days of blogger's block. I now have inspiration.

I've talked alot about my siblings, but I've never posted pictures of them. So, now... I'm going to post their pictures and their names (those of which have blogs, their names will be links).

So, here's my family:

Antiphilobe:

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Grelb (Me):

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Tiko:

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Inkenpoo:

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Fabio:

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Buffy:

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Bilbo:

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(And the newest addition to our family:) Squishy:

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And that's my family! Sorry I couldn't use their real names, but internet safety calls...

I'll post in another ten days or so if I can think of something good....

~Nick

(And no, my family doesn't normally look like that...) :-)

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• Nov. 27, 2007 - Finally!

Posted in Funny

Alright, alright. My password is now fixed. No more hackers...

Yeah, my brother found my password, hacked into my blog, and posted. It's not that he's overly clever, it's just that I'm rather dumb...

I left my password laying around, and he got a hold of it...

So, anyways, yeah. Everything is now sorted out. Congratulations me!

~Nick

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• Nov. 27, 2007 - NEW PASSWORD!

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All right, all right. I changed my password. My new password is: Frog322!

Wait...

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• Nov. 27, 2007 - HACKED!

Posted in Funny

YAY! This is Jake! I just hacked my brother's blog! He basically handed me his password! HAHAHA!!!!!

COME CHECK OUT MY BLOG at www.homeschoolblogger.com/palmzealot

I AM THE WORLD'S GREATEST HACKER!!!!!

NO FIREWALL CAN STOP ME!!! I BYPASS THEM ALL!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS IN ADVANCE!!!

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• Nov. 26, 2007 - Frog Power!

Posted in Funny

The title describes it all...

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• Oct. 26, 2007 - Bagels of Intricate Design (and Other Food Tales)

Posted in Funny

My little brother Fabio cannot have wheat. So when he wants a bagel, Mom just slaps some cream cheese on a piece of spelt bread. Not me, though. When I make my brother's bagels, I go all-out! Here are some pictures to show you just what I mean.

Here's the pictures!

Ze Bagel With Ze Chocolates

Ze Indian Longhouse

Ze La Winter Fireplace

And now that I've shown you just a sample of these wonderful bagels (no more will be coming, because they were outlawed...), I will proceed to show you some other glorious food!

Who will challenge the dark Jokernana?

Ba na na na Batnana!

The two are getting ready to be devoured

And now here's some pictures of me eating a PB&J sandwich.

So there you have it! The wonderful food of the ******* household (and no, I am not bleeping out swearing! I'm just not disclosing my last name, that's all!)! And the most ironic thing is, I'm skinny!

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• Oct. 20, 2007 - "Le Fly" The Movie

Posted in Funny

Last night my brother and I worked for three (3) hours to produce a movie. It is the worst movie ever made in movie history. Though rather pathetic, I still find this movie funny!

Get ready for the greatest cinematic adventure of your time! Here's "Le Fly"!

I hope you enjoyed this awesome (pathetic) adventure movie!

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• Oct. 15, 2007 - Blog Under Construction

Posted in Funny

When I first started my blog, everything I wrote about was imaginary. It was sort of pathetic. But now, I'm going to change my entire style! First, I'm not going to mention slugs (or imaginary Law Firms) anymore! Second, though I'll still be goofy, I'm going to make room for serious some stuff too. My plan is to hopefully make this more of a serious, reality-based blog. I'm going to take some time to be silly, and some times to write serious. Here's post number one all over again!

Well, tonight I had my taste of "pork rinds". My Dad bought a bag of them, and I decided to brave them. I told my Mom, "Now Mom, these can't be real pork skins, they're probably just synthetic!" Then I looked at who made them. "Frito Lay made them! Yep, it's synthetic!" Then I actually took time to read the ingredients. "Fried pork skins and salt." I then looked in shock at the piece of pork skin in my hand.