Apr. 15, 2007 - Modesty part 1
Entry #3
The Way You Dress is Important
~Modesty part 1~
Modesty. In most Christian cycles, you'll somewhat hear the word over and over again. You'd think Christian girls would get it by now, but sadly, they don't. There's tons of females who claim to be Christians, yet they go around in half naked, degrading clothes, tempting the guys around them. Why haven't we gotten it?
~*~
It seems like no matter where you go or what the weather is, girls still dress seductively. I went to an amusement park not too long ago, and even though it was freezing and we were wearing thick, heavy jackets, layers of clothes, and gloves, the girls there still managed to dress immodestly--It's crazy!
- Why do girls dress immodestly??
I have come to a conclusion that girls dress immodestly for some of these reasons:
- To bait the males (if you will)
- Because they are insecure in themselves
- They're falling into the lie that immodestly equals beauty
- "Skin is in,"
- For guys to notice them
- Look like their friends
- Be in style
- To fit in
- The excuse, "I can't find any modest clothing out there!"
- And because almost everyone else is doing it.
Why should we dress modestly? I think there's 5 main reasons, and many more that we'll get in later.
- To obey and please the Lord
- To save your body and most secret parts for your future husband's pleasure only
- To not stumble godly guys trying to please the Lord with their eyes
- To disallow and keep eyes off of ungodly men who are unworthy to drool over your body
- To be a godly example to everyone around us
These entries on modesty are actually going to be a series, if you will, and we're going to get to each of these points later on, but for right now, lets get to the basics. Does God have anything to say about modesty?
1 Timothy 2:9
In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel.....
This is so plain and clear! How can we Christians not get this? God wants us to dress in an honorable way.
But, maybe the problem is we don't know what actually is modest? Yes, some things are plain as day, and other things are quite skeptical.
Some people tell us that as long as we are not showing much skin, we're modest. Some say that only dresses and skirts are modest and pants are out.
This is how I think modesty should be defined:
It's a meek, quiet, and humble spirit that starts with the heart with a motive to please God. It is anything that is not a stumbling block to other guys and doesn't allow them to look at you in a wrong way.
With that, we need to know just what kind of clothes allows guys to look at you in a wrong way? What kind of things you wear make you a stumbling blocks to other guys? We'll look at that later....
What do we do to guys when we don't dress modestly? Since you're not a guy, you have no idea what they go through since God wired and created you different. It's can be really eye-opening if you to see how different they are. If you'd like to learn more about it, I'd highly suggest reading Secret Keepers by Dannah Gresh. That was a big help to me.
Going to the Bible, look at this verse:
~Matthew 5:28~
But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh at a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Adultery is a big sin toward God, and when you wear immodest clothing, that's just what you are lettting guys do toward you. You are sinning, and you are causing the males around you to sin as well. It's a serious thing!
I'll tell you right now, guys are going to look. Godly guys will try their best not to, but ungodly guys will. Our pastor from a church we used to go once said, "Unregenerate men left to themselves are sexual predators.*) (*pastor Jerry Slate) To the unsaved men, he has no reason not to look and stare at your body.
1 Corinthians 7:2
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
From the beginning of time, God chose one man for one woman. Why do you think He did that? Because of what the verse above says: to avoid fornication. God only wants us to have one man to marry, to love, to give yourself to, to grow in intimacy, and only one man to show your body to.
When you dress immodestly, you are going against God's design and you are letting ALL men look and lust after you. This is NOT what God intended. (We'll go more in debt in a later entry.)
I don't think girls realize exactly what they are doing to guys when they dress immodestly. We must understand something, most girls already know, but for clarity sake, I'm going to tell you anyway. Guys are turned on by your body. We don't understand this because we are not the same way.
All guys want to look because God made them that way, but there are godly ones that are striving to please the Lord and look away. How would you feel if you were the girl he was trying to avoid because just looking at you caused him to sin? How would you feel if you could see all the guys in the store that look you up and down, including adult men?? How would you feel if you could know the thoughts going through a male's mind when he's looking at you? And, how would you feel if you knew you were hurting God? It's real; It's serious. The Bible gives us the facts. Why haven't we got it yet??
What you put on in the morning determines if you want to help guys out, or let them goggle at your body.
1 Thessalonian 4:3-7
For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:
That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour:
Not in lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God.
That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified.
For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.
We are not to defraud our brothers in any matter. Immodestly opens those doors to lust, sin, fornication, and adultery.
I hope that we understand that for the Christian, modesty is a serious thing, especially to God!
Modesty is so important.
- Modesty shows the motives of your heart.
What you wear tells alot about yourself and what message you are trying to get across. When girls dress immodestly they are literally telling the whole world, "I want guys to look at me. Look where ever you want. I'm open." On the otherhand, a girl that dresses modestly with a humble spirit is saying, "I don't want to be a stumbling block to guys that are trying to please the Lord. I don't want you to sin after me. I am a vessel of the Lord, and my body belongs to Him and my future husband."
- Modesty shows what you value.
- Modesty shows what you are using your body for
If you think your wardrobe needs a little help, I hope that you'll pray about this, seek God's Word, and examine your heart with this issue of modesty. Remember, it's the heart and our motives that are the makeup behind the clothes. Pray for God's guidance to help you.
Helpful Tips
Like I said, some things in the area of modesty are supposed to be quite obvious and others maybe not. I've read books on modesty that say at the end, "It's up to you what you think is modest...." That only leads us scratching our heads and confused. We, and especially newer Christians, need direction and a starting guide. Of course, we can't tell you the solution to everything, but here's a basic outline to be a help.
This is a partial list of what NOT to wear:
- Mini-skirts
- Bikinis
- Skirts that are too short
- Showing any cleavage, even the very top of it. (bathing suits are no exception)
- Tight pants
- Pants tight on the thighs
- Hot pants
- Short shorts
- Tight shirts that hug the breast
- Words that are written across the breast (guess why they were put there?)
- Words put across the booty (guess why they were put there too?)
- Showing bra straps
- High splits in skirts and dresses
- Tubed tops
- Shirts that plop open when you bend over and reveal everything
- Showing the belly
For discerning other things:
- Pray. Ask for God's help.
- Ask your father for his advice. He's a male and he'll know if it's inapporiate or not.
Ways to test your clothing. Sometimes just looking in the mirror is not enough. Once we get out in the world and start moving around, usually there might be something you missed by just standing in front of the mirror.
- Bend over and make sure your shirt doesn't plop open.
- Walk up the stairs: Is your skirt too tight; Is your split too high?
- Raise your arms: can you see your bra from under my arm?
- Look in the back: can you see your panty line?
- Look in the back: Is your shirt so tight you can see your bra from behind?
- Is your skirt or dress see-through? Do you need a slip?
