Everyone has a 'pile' in their house of something or other.  For example, paperwork and laundry.  If you don't have a pile in your house then I will be forced to put your name on an honourary list called the 'Get Real Club.'  Now, back to what I was saying..........

The place where everything seems to get shoved in our house is the bedroom. No, not the kids bedrooms but mine and my husband's. If there is a load of laundry that I wasn't able to get to, shove it in the room.  Seasonal kid clothes from the attic not quite sorted, shove it in the room.  Things that you can't quite say are dirty enough to waste precious water and soap on, drape it over something in the room.  You get the idea.   Finally, it becomes an insurmountable pile which blocks the end of the bed. This would be fine if you were an acrobat with a flying trapeze but I can tell you that my husband is NOT an acrobat and he sleeps on the far side of the bed. I will say that he rarely complains about the piles and is very sweet. He does however groan when trying to skirt around the pile and often resorts to crawling across the bed.  I  am pleased to say that I recently cleaned up this large pile!  I didn't  get to it right away but it is now   FAIT ACCOMPLI!   thank-you, thank-you, please hold your applause.  It is glorious having that dealt with. Does this mean I have no other piles in my home now?  Alas, no.  You have only to go down to our workroom (we have no garage) to see another huge pile of stuff.  This is a pile which might never be cured! It's kind of like arthritis. Once you get it you never know when it will flare up again, but it's always just lurking............

Our ladie's group recently started a study on Esther. My historical knowledge of this book has been limited and I only knew the outer sketch of this story.  I DID remember the part where King Ahasuerus sent for Queen Vashti because he wanted to display her beauty. I think I tucked it in my memory along with a thought like "he had some nerve." I learned lots of interesting tidbits from the first video by Jill Rhodes and ' Women Alive.'  For instance......  Queen Vashti is historically known as not being a nice lady.  The king took a liking to his niece apparently and the queen wasn't happy about this.  She was responsible for the death of both the niece and the mother. Not a cheerful story.  In Esther Chapter One it is mentioned that the King was having his 'party' outside and the queen was having her party in the palace. Traditionally the men and women would be united together, not separate.  The palace was the seat of authority so the queen was basically taking authority over the king and she also was thumbing her nose at him.  He had his party for a very long time and had shown off all of his riches etc. but decided to save the best for last. Perhaps it seems chauvinistic that he told his wife to come in order to display herself.  It can be thought of differently though, he was saving the best for last. She was the richest treasure (or her beauty was, maybe not her personality).  This is an example of NOT submitting. She was a very influential figure in the kingdom and the women who were at the party and living in the kingdom would follow her lead. Is it any wonder she was banned from the king's presence? I usually think of submission as 'to willingly follow out of love.' This is what I learned from a word study on submission in bible college. It isn't always easy to submit though, is it? Submittting to parents,  submitting to authorities, submitting to husbands.  But there is One who submitted to the point of death. I somehow fail to recognize that. Not only did Jesus make the ultimate sacrifice he also submitted saying, "Father, if Thou art willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Thine be done." (Luke 22:42) There is no greater example of submission in the entire history of mankind. If Jesus can submit........shouldn't the answer be obvious that we can too. All by his strength.

My husband recently celebrated his 34th birthday. Every year he asks me how old he will be and inevitably guesses about one year younger.  He is always encouraged when he thinks of me being almost three years older.  He likes to remind me that  I will be fourty first and has been known to say. " I can't believe that I have a wife who is "36" years old. Of course the number goes up one each year. I am quick to remind him that I might be older but I'm trim enough and not hard to look at (unless I have an angry face on maybe :)  This year I told him he was turning 35.  He paused slightly and was on to my game. I figure if you don't keep track of your own age then that leaves it as open season to be teased! 

Another 'milestone' occurred at about the same time.  My three youngest were at a grandparents house so we allowed our eleven year old son to stay home for the first time by himself. My husband and I went out on a date.  I'm sure it was only yesterday that he was born fast and furious!  Ah me, but good times were had by all!

     I don't think I ever wrote this blog about one of my favourite bible stories. It is found in 1 Kings and is written on my header.  Elijah goes running off to the desert in fear of Jezebel.  The Lord sustains him for fourty days and nights as he goes to Mount Horeb. When he is on the mountaintop  God reveals himself to Elijah.  The Lord says to Elijah "Go forth, and stand on the mountain before the Lord."  A wind, earthquake and fire are all manifested but it says that 'the Lord was not in them.'  Lastly the sound of a gentle blowing came and when Elijah heard it he wrapped his face and went out to entrance of the cave he was in.  The Lord asked him why he was there and finally tells Elijah to 'go return.'  I find this to be an amazing story.  Elijah is such a cool guy to start with and then you add in a mountaintop experience. Just imagine how wonderful and terrifying it would be to witness and experience all of this.   Elijah runs away to isolation and nature and while there he encounters the Lord of everything. He is asked 'why are you here?'  Indeed,  why am I half of the places that I go to?  In my thoughts, in my viewing, in my reading, in my speaking.  God is there.  If I just sit down for some reflection I can hear his gentle whisper and feel him prodding me, breaking me, shaping me.   I do live on the 'mountaintop' here in Hamilton  but I can tell you that alot of the time I am 'slugging it out' in the valley.  Sometimes I go there when I'm not supposed to and sometimes the Lord brings me there.  The times on the mountain are glorious and refreshing but I can't stay. I have to 'go return' just as God told Elijah to.  If I could only remember that He is always there waiting to be called upon.  He is ready to offer me strength, courage, and nourishment for everyday.  What a shepherd, what a friend, what a Saviour!

I have long since finished 'The Secret Life of Bees' but I found so many interesting tidbits in it.  The main character 'Lily' was pondering about people who are named after the months of the year. (I know of three April's, one 'Mae', two June's and one August.) Lily decided  that she would like to be called 'October' and I would have to agree for myself.  May is up there for sure but there is just something about October with all the colours of the leaves, the smell of smoke, cozy sweaters, apple cider, bright cheerful pumpkins and the crisp air on a nice invigorating hike. 

 Some people are named a certain month because that is when they were born. Others simply because their parent favoured the name. There must be people out there with all the names of the months, right? I just haven't met them I suppose.  In 'The Secret Life of Bees four sisters are called April, May June, and August.  When they were younger their mother would allow them their own special birthday month.  They were able to eat all their favourite foods, stay up later and get out of doing household chores.  Can you imagine?  A whole month with no chores, treats and later hours. Sounds to me like a recipe for becoming overweight, overtired and really lazy. BUT I must admit that at first glance it looks really appealing.  Especially since August spent most of her time reading books in her month.  October Johnston wouldn't be too outrageous would it?  Alas, I shall remain Laurie and continue to be half-pint.  In the words of a famous man (Popeye, ha ha) " I am's what I am's."

Here at the Johnston home  we have a 'rule.'  We don't say things like 'I love chocolate' or 'I love spaghetti.'  If the children lapse into this habit I am quick to remind them 'we don't love things, only people.'  Ever notice how often people break into raptures over clothes, food, events etc? I am prone to this as a human being too since it is a trend largely practiced by our culture. In a book which I read recently  called 'The Secret Life of Bees' (by Sue Monk Kidd )one of the main characters comments on how the Inuits have thirty-two names for love. She mentions the inadequacy of our use of love in the English language and how we can't fully express the varying degrees.  I don't find it that difficult however, I reserve love for people, really like for things like treats, a good book etc and like for things of a normal calibre. I suppose if you are a pet lover this poses a problem. I certainly don't love any animals and I can't say I ever loved the dog we had growing up either. He was more of a plaything really :), poor dog. So anyhow, ponder this the next time you say that you 'love' something and love God in the same breath.  Maybe we should consider not watering down the true meaning of this word and upholding the One who it originates from!

1. highway driving

2. babies whining (but she's usually real happy :)

3. fidgety kids at the dinner table

4. children bickering

5. when my husband is gone during the day and then the evening hours

6. dirty dishes

7. piles of off-season clothes, finding a spot and getting them there

8. wet cloths that should be hung up to dry or washed before stinky

9. holey socks

10. lost socks

11. people who talk constantly about themselves and are LOUD

12. debt

13. boxes of junk that need to be sorted

14.rumpled beds

15.books that won't be finished because they just aren't worth it.

16. the lack of opportunities and time to go out with aforementioned hubby

17. dried out droopy flower beds

18. shoe piles in the closet on the floor instead of on the rack

19. broken relationships

20.a backlog of kid school sheets to mark

21. never quite able to see extended family enough or to 'connect' when we actually do

22. rust on vehicles

23. broken toys

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1. all our kids sitting in the livingroom reading quietly

2. a  windy day with the leaves on our beech tree rustling

3. the smell of roses and lilacs

4. tea-time with my hubby

5. a good hug from a close friend

6.hearing fellow brothers and sisters sing together in church

7.hugging my baby who smells so wonderful after a bath

8. walking in the woods

9. a sunset with my fella

10. remembering I'll be with loved ones again someday when I cross over

11. re-reading an old favourite

12.the sound of frogs and crickets and the flicker of fireflies

13. reading a good book to my kids

14. having a ladies night and watching a good flick

15.receiving a nice letter in the mail

16. when my mom brings me food she made

17. clothes fresh off of the clothesline

18. a fresh vase of flowers from my garden

19. fresh, warm cookies and bread

20. hearing my children laugh

21.sitting around a campfire

22. watching the waves crash on the shore and looking out to the horizon

23. a dark starlit sky

I remember listening to this oldie but goodie on a record of my dad's. I like the whiney part that says 'don't cry- yi-yi.'  Very fun to imitate for sure!  I was pondering the act of crying and how women are known to be rather sentimental and teary-eyed. I am kind of known by my close friends and husband as a 'hard-hearted harbinger of hagus.' (remember that movie with some questionable parts but a whole lot of funny lines.....hopefully I'm quoting and spelling it correctly.

I spent too much time blubbering as a child in school. The main reason was marks, can you believe it? Or because I didn't understand how to do something and I would  get all in a panic. ( My second son does the crying part  but it's because he doesn't want to work and is prone to laziness. That boy has an uphill battle ahead of him for sure.)

Other than the usual hormonal/pregnancy crying spurts that we women experience I don't cry very often.  If you see a bunch of women holding their hankies because a 'tear-jerker' scene or story is coming up then you won't see me holding one. Am I too cynical to cry? Maybe.  Too much garbage cluttering my heart? Maybe. I have found myself having more in common with husbands than wives.  I'm certainly not the overly sympathetic type either. You know, 'if it's not flowing blood or severed then you don't need a band-aid.'  It is very fortunate for many patients that I did not go through for nursing!  So it makes me wonder....... is this my adult personality? Or did I just forget how to cry somewhere along the way. Everyone knows Big Girls DO cry. I believe the song does admit this by the end.  With four children we will certainly have the tears covered in this household, with or without me!  Anyhow to all you ladies who DO cry I won't mind sittting beside you and passing the kleenex.

 These past 10 days have been a busy time at our household.  Beginning on the 17th my hubby and I celebrated our 12th anniversary.  We were able to go to a wedding the day before and witness the joining of two young lives.  What a fitting and inspirational gift it was to be reminded of how and why myself and my beloved first got together.  It was great to have a night out  and get dressed up (after lots of 'baby time' at home :)

Following this occasion was the 5th birthday of our first daughter on the 23rd. We had time with family and then her first birthday party the next day.  'Strawberry Shortcake' was the theme and my great husband made and decorated the cake (that looked like a strawberry) and did the strawberry type games. Isn't he the best?  Today was my second son's 8th b-day and he was able to get out of school by doubling up on a different day.  So much celebration in such a short time!  Now I get a 'break' till July when our first son's birthday is on the 15th and our second daughter's birthday is on the 17th.  Apparently these are not only the best two months for birthdays but also the best  two WEEKS for four birthdays!!!!!!!

We just got back from enjoying the fireworks with a family from our church. They with their five children and we with our four. Plus a brother and sister young adult duo.  It was quite the view from the mountain brow. Not only all the lights of the city down below but a large number of houses all setting off fireworks in their backyards.  The bigger show was off to one side at a park, so we mainly  watched IT.  Nice to have a little walk to the brow and we were able to avoid parking lots and crowds. Plus my friend brought her kickin' chocolate chip cookies and dill popcorn AND hot chocolate. Ah holidays! (Also our 12th anniversary today!  HAPPY VICTORIA DAY!

I just recently started back into my jogging/running routine (it's called one or the other depending on the day and how I feel of course!)  Our youngest will be 10 mths soon so I feel that it is about time I got going with more than just walking.  Summer is coming and there are those five pounds to lose still!  I'm certainly not doing it for the weight. No, I'm doing it for the drugs (as in endorphins) ha, ha.  They do make me feel more inspired and filled with energy. It doesn't always last mind you....sometimes I take a quick snooze in the afternoons.  So far I've only been going about 3x a week which is what I was at pre-pregnancy. I hope to increase that slowly. I have a VERY SAD pair of shoes that actually have holes all across the top.  My husband will be adding onto my birthday money fund for Mother's Day and I shall get a new pair!  I WILL say that it takes awhile to break new ones in.

Do any of you do push-ups?  Ugh. I do  ten 'guy style' ones. I am a weakling, but I figure some is better than none.  We also have a nice new set of stairs going partway down the mountain. Jog up those once and see how or IF you can breath when you reach the top!

A famous dinosaur you may know from 'Toy Story' shares this personal weakness with his fellow toys(other than having arms that are too short as well!)

 If I could coin a phrase for my life I would think  this one is close to the top. I have memories of growing up with my sister and parents which involved confrontation. I was intimidated by all of them for sure. When we had disagreements they weren't technically resolved but pushed under the carpet. We didn't  talk  through them in a sensible manner face to face. Rather a pat 'sorry' would be offered and perhaps a note (which is rather one-sided, don't you think?) Thus I never mastered the art of 'arguing successfully' ,'arguing fairly' ie, no unkind words,' and 'no physical intimidation.' Since being married to my sweet husband I have been reminded on more than one occasion that this does not make for successful communication! Is there anything worse than being toe to toe with someone in a heated battle where tempers fly and faces are flushed? Then moving on to the silent treatment or seething in bitterness and erupting later.......this whole area of life gives me such an unpleasant feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's kind of like an ache or a festering paper cut. Sometimes it's much worse depending on how much I love the person, and if I have wronged them. Other times it has been to defend what is right, but then I have gotten angry when responded to in anger. How can I as a Christian successfully converse and work through things? When the topics are close to the heart and of a tender nature the more intimidating it becomes. Jesus is the ultimate communicator. He is seen all throughout the gospels patiently dealing with his disciples and others who don't often get the big picture, or are too concerned with their own defence or agenda.  I don't think anyone likes confrontation, (if they are truthful)but this is an area I must come to accept as 'being.' I also must find a  way to deal with it as Christ would. The only way to do that is through tonnes of prayer and by reading about the one who knows best. How ironic is it that the ultimate (and unavoidable) 'confrontation' will come on judgment day. There will be no silent treatments, notes written etc. Thankfully, I have a Saviour who will stand in my place for that confrontation and say 'forgiven', ' I stand in the place of her sin.' How fabulous that is!  I could melt into a puddle right now thinking of the God of the universe asking me about .....everything, and having no answer. But, while I am on this earth I cannot hide, the confrontations will come...... So onward and upward as 'they' say.    (p.s.  another famous phrase I would coin as well.... from the 'Muppet's Christmas Carol' the little mouse said, " And I am here for the food!."