I've never really experienced any 'movie moments' in the ten years I have been a mother. You know, things like the kids colouring all over a wall or ripping feathers out of pillows or opening the fridge and dumping stuff all over the floor or projectile vomiting.... o.k,  so now I have experienced the last one. I could hardly believe it but seeing IS believing, and feeling.  I was holding my 6th month old who gets topped up with a 6 oz. of formula before going to bed because 'heh, this body of mine doesn't produce like it once might have!.'  Said infant had been topped up by suspect no. 1 a.k.a. my husband. He mentioned to me that he forgot to burp her halfway. I said 'oh dear, she's going to spit up a bit.' Well, I had NO idea.  I was standing in our hallway talking to suspect no.1 and all of a sudden her mouth opens and out pours what could only be described as NIAGARA FALLS, two times no less.  Down my shirt, on the wall all over the floor.  I obviously had to bath the poor child !Suspect no.1 was holding her as I attempted to pull off her soggy clothes and said infant picks this moment to empty her bladder as well, on the floor AND on suspect no.1's slippers.  THAT my friends is divine retribution. :) We had a good laugh amidst the clean-up. I'll wager that suspect no.1 won't ever forget to burp said infant again!

We have been truly blessed with a second daughter and our fourth child. It is amazing what each personality adds to a family. With every new arrival the dynamics change.  I can hardly believe that Abigail is six months old already. I do know from being 'there' before that it passes by all too fast.  We planned our children a little 'farther' apart because that is what I favoured. It IS a little awkward going into the diaper phase then out then in etc instead of having them close together and doing all the baby things boom, boom, boom in a row.  A very favourable part of the way we have chosen to do it  though is this...... each baby has had time to be just that, a baby.  Joseph being our first probably could have used some companionship a wee bit earlier but from then on each one has had somebody to 'play' with and plenty of time to be the youngest (and to enjoy all the perks thereof!)Very high on my list of 'all-time favourite memories' is the first time I held each new baby in my arms.The joy is pretty much hard to touch with words. 

 I remember sharing a room with my sister as a child and all of the fun it entailed. I am so pleased for my two sons that they have a room together and that the same is true for my two daughters. Our home is definately filled and my body is way beyond feeling like doing the pregnancy thing! But as Eli the priest said in 1 Samuel "It is the Lord; let Him do what seems good to Him."  Thank goodness we as humans do not decide the grand scheme of things! Life has it's ups and downs and parenting is both a full-time joy or challenge (depending on the day ;) but this fourth time around is........... pretty great!

Last night I got together with the ladies from my church. We few we happy few!  Our church is small in numbers but mighty in heart!  After six months of nursing my wee daughter I was blessed with the opportunity to go out for 3 or 4 hours and to have some learning and fellowship (my husband did my final feed for me, with a bottle of course! (ha ha) bless his heart.  There were some nice snack options there, which is an important thing as far as I am concerned. My favourite was an apple dip with cream cheese and skor bar crushed up. A close second was a spinach dip with water chestnuts and green onions, mmmm.

  We visited and also watched a great video by Hilary Price. I'm pretty sure she spoke at the women's conference a couple of years ago in T.O. when Anne Graham came to town.  Anyway, her husband is the pastor at People's Church in T.O.  She was doing the Mother's Day sermon (her one time a year opportunity to speak to the congregation I think?) It was based on Hannah in 1st Samuel and all of the characters involved in that situation. She talked about the 'barreness' in each of our lives. Not only the infertility kind but in all other areas as well.  Also, of how we expect our spouse to meet all our needs and how they were never designed to. If you get a chance to watch one of her videos then go for it!  She has a lovely soothing English accent to enjoy as well. (I think it's English.)

I have found some things which have brightened the day:

1.  a sweet baby to squeeze and hug

2. going for a walk in the fresh air

3. rescuing a hockey helmet when I was out walking (the guy was at the bus stop and hadn't noticed that he'd dropped it a ways back)

4. leftover chinese food

5. three snowmen outside my patio door

6. a husband who writes me e-mails

7. a cleanish house (had French class here yesterday :)

8.fresh chocolate chip cookies (o.k. that was last night but heh they are memorable)

9. God loves me no matter how unworthy I am and actually wants to hear from ME.

I know I can't be alone in the struggle to return to routine.  After a two week holiday of travel and visiting it is time to settle down at home again and be a homeschool mom, housecleaner etc.  I wish I could say I had a real relaxing holiday but I'm afraid it was mainly a blur of packing, unpacking etc.  There WERE some blessed moments with family and friends it is true. I also enjoy having the chance to sit down and read a book or putter around knowing that I don't  have to be at school. I WILL say that having a routine makes for a more productive and happier day. But alas, it is hard to get back to the beginning again. It is kind of like coming to the top of the hill and getting over the 'bulge' so that you can continue on downhill to the end of the race.  (It is a battle of the bulge for many after the stretch from Halloween to Christmas as well, Yes I'm afraid I"m in there with my bit of extra weight ;)

 Ah me.  To find contentment in being what God has called me to be! To stop looking inward at all the 'sacrifice' I make and to look upward instead at the REAL  sacrifice HE made for me.  This is a battle!!!!!! But at least I have the strongest man on my side.

I'll stay home for Christmas

You can count on me???

Please have snow so I can't go

anywhere I don't want to be!!!!!!

Christmas Eve will find me watching a movi-e-e-e-e

I'll stay home for Christmas if only in my dreams!!!!!!!!!

Alright, so it isn't so bad leaving home to see the ones you love BUT I can't stand packing up to go and packing up to come back!  Then of course unpacking again, finding a place for new things, laundry etc etc. ARGH! 

p.s. Cheers to the ideal Christmas where everyone comes to my huge mansion(for pretend) and samples all the food I didn't have to make myself, moi ha ha!

p.p.s. Seriously though. I am blessed with a good home, family, friends and a Great God who provides for all my needs abundantly.

Merry Christmas Everyone! (for the second time), maybe I'll think of some new additions to my songs next year.

Dashing through the snow, in our crowded mininvan

fit all the presents in, at least that is the plan!

Is there Christmas cheer? Or can it not be found?

I have a migraine in my head that pounds and pounds and pounds!

Oh! Sanity,Sanity! Please come back to me!

How will I survive the fun around the Christmas tree?!

Oh! Sanity, Sanity! Please come back to me!

How will I survive the 'fun' around the Christmas tree!

Merry Christmas everyone! (It's not THAT bad, I just like to be dramatic :)

Awhile back I started my list of twenty things which I wanted to do to enrich my life.  I only got to number 8 so I thought I would add on some more things.

9. Watch the sunrise with my sons

10. Go back to Ireland with my husband

11. Meet my sponsor child from Uganda in person.(she is now eleven and we have been 'with' her since she was five.

12. Learn to bake a wide assortment of pies ( I have a real weakness for pie, I think pie for breakfast is great as well, mmmmm.)  I do bake five or six kinds and make my own crust but there are so many more....

13. Do a family hiking trip on the Bruce Trail (for more than a day)

14. go canoeing or to a cottage with my husband and see a moose and some loons up close (but not too close for the moose!

15. go out for coffee and to a movie with my mom, I don't think I've ever done that.

 I don't know yet what my last five will be, I'll have to think more. I believe the author of the book where I got this idea from was Debbie Macomber and ' Twenty Wishes.' For some reason I couldn't' remember it before.  Could have been delirium from sleep exhaustion when our baby was 'new!!!!'

     Some people are really unique. Not weird unique like 'who can grow their fingernails the longest to get into guinness '  kind but someone you never want to forget.  I once knew a man like that.  He was a real card, literally.  He laid what he thought right out on the table, whether you liked your hand or not.  This man was my grandfather,and he was very influential in my life.  He favoured me for sure and I lapped up the attention.  I remember when I was a small child and he would say 'I ought to trade you off for a monkey' and he would call me 'pill',no doubt because I was small.  I like to think it was also because I helped to brighten and enhance his life, kind of like a vitamin that you 'need' once a day.  He taught me alot about bad manners.  Most of them I have tried to get rid of over the years (my husband has been helpful in this).  He taught me what I did NOT want in my future husband ie. "What did you make THIS for supper for????"  He taught me about bravery ( he drove a tank in World War 2 and returned a number of years later.  He also streaked across his VERY large front lawn at an advanced age to save my sister who was very close to the road, on a riding lawnmower, on a hill.... need I say more?    He taught me about love and hate.  His love for me was unconditional while his hate for certain others was unconditional too. He taught me about bitterness and pride.  He taught me about horses and buggies and would drive me around our long laneways. I would watch him bath the horses and dress them up with ribbons to show at the fairs. He taught me about respecting my parents and disrespecting just about everyone else. He taught me to despise smoking, he hacked and coughed for years and eventually died of lung cancer. All of these parts were HIM and it all added up to a man who added so much to my life, whether good or bad.

     I will always favour movies with crusty old fellows in them like 'Grumpy old Men', the father-in-law in Lampoons Christmas vacation, 'Mr. Edwards' from 'Little House on the Prairie',and  the father from 'A Christmas Story.' The men in these movies are inappropriate mostly, but what can I say? They remind me of my Grandpa and how much he meant to me and I find myself comforted when I watch them and laugh at their antics.  He was irreplaceable and I know I will never meet anyone like him again. He lives on in my memory and I will always see him as a hero of sorts......crustiness and all.

This is definately something I wanted to add to my list of twenty things but I have not got around to it!  On Thanksgiving week-end I took my 'second' son to watch the sunrise in Hamilton.  We had a lovely view  looking down the escarpment and it is just a few streets over from my home.  There was a brick wall to sit on and quite alot to look at.  We saw Toronto in the distance, many birds, fall colours, a few dog walkers, a golf course, Lake Ontario, lights, buildings, traffic etc.  Most interesting other than the beautiful sunrise was two raccoons fighting over who would sleep in a nearby tree. They didn't seem to notice us as they bickered. There was also a nice mist down below but not enough to inhibit the splendour.  We had some hot chocolate and bran muffins I had baked to keep us satisfied and warm :) It WAS fairly cool even with our blanket.  The following week-end I went with my 'first' son and we saw a train going by and the SAME two raccoons. I believe they must fight over that tree each day.  There were two bluejays flying in the same direction too whereas the week before there were three. It made me wonder what happened to the third one?   Both were lovely times together admiring God's creation. I highly recommend it! You may not have our panoramic view but God has plenty of other great locations doesn't he!  I have been doing a few things from my list like reading and talking to my mother more often.  She said I could call her everyday if I wanted too. But that isn't going to happen as life is too busy and nothing much changes within one day here!  I don't think sharing my affection is going as well as it could but my baby gets lots of hugs since I'm nursing her etc.  Anyone who knows me realizes that hugs are hard to come by! God certainly made us all different. It's a good thing I didn't marry someone from a culture that hugs constantly and kisses too or they might think I was real bizarre. I definately take after my father in the affection department.  If I read any books worth reading I will put them down. The ones I did are fine but nothing especially great. It is hard to compete with Jane Austen, L.M. Montgomery and Tolkien isnt' it??????

I recently read a book by Barbara........... I forget who.  I'm sure it will come to me eventually! (Don't hold your breath though). It was an easy read. Nothing deep or life-shattering or character building, in short- a book! I did like the main idea however.  A group of widows thought up a list of 20 things which they would like to do to improve their lives. The list wasn't for mundane 'must be done anyway' sort of things like 'gee I should exercise more' or ' how can I work out a better budget.' Instead they thought of dreams or ideas in their lives which had never come to fruition. So I have decided to think of a list for myself.  Goals to aim for as I am a goal-oriented person. It is too vague to say 'I want to be a good mom' I need something more concrete. As I always say to my son Joseph. 'I need to see what the book is saying not just have you read it to me.'  Guess that makes me a visual learner?  If I can picture something in my mind ie. crossing the finish line of a race, then it is more likely to happen. So here is the list so far.....

 HALFPINT'S LIST OF 20!!!!!!

1. run a second marathon. (I can't believe it has been eight and a half years, ugh!)

2.  go to Boston (not to visit but to run their marathon, you have to qualify first so that could be a hitch...)

3.  befriend someone  in need (I have a neighbour across the street who has cancer, we have had coffee once and I took the baby to see her but I haven't visited regularly. She has had cancer for many years apparently but I think she thinks the time is definately drawing closer......)

4.  take a class of some variety ie aerobics? or something else....

5. hug my children everyday (I don't remember to, isn't that bad? I'm not a very affectionate person. Why is it so easy to cuddle with babies though (I know, it's because they are so cute and don't talk back yet!)Saying I love you more often wouldn't hurt either.

6. kiss my husband goodnight and tell him I love him each night

7. call my mom once a week and stay in touch with my sister and Grandma's (because heh, most of them miss me and how long can a person stay emotionally closed off?)

8. make up a book list of must reads and read one a month (not of the fluff variety)

all for now.... I shall have to ponder more. Some of these things will have to wait as I am presently a nursing mother.