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Posted by 40winkzzz

Our church also has a bit of an age gap-- most couples are either in their 20's/early 30's or in their 50's & above. There are a few mid-30's thru 40's like me, but we are in the minority. And very few if any of the others my age are SAHMs; in fact, most of the younger moms work, too.

BUT-- at our church, it is NOT the moms of young kids doing the majority of the sunday school teaching, etc. Many of those workers are empty-nesters and young people.

In our previous church, ALL parents of nursery children were REQUIRED to help in nursery once per month. When we left that church & eventually ended up at our current church, my youngest was still nursery-age. So I reluctantly went to the person in charge of nursery and said, "Well, I guess I need to sign up for nursery duty." She looked at me and said, "You're not allowed," and explained, "Parents of nursery kids need a break. So I don't LET them work in the nursery. There are plenty of others in the church who can do that." Boy, she didn't have to convince me!

I think you are right that what is happening in your church can lead to burn-out. It happens in a lot of churches. It really isn't right that parents of young kids are doing all the work with the young kids. The church should be a "village", in a sense, that helps the parents raise their children. But if people in your church don't have that mentality, I don't know if you'll be able to convince them. Pray about it, I guess. Maybe the Lord will put it in the heart of someone in leadership or someone in that empty-nest stage to address the situation.

Alright, I have to get back to my Oprah & bonbons now.


Edited by 40winkzzz on Jul. 10, 2008 at 11:35 PM

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Posted by jsgay97

You know, I've been wondering the same thing.

I think the burn out you worry about happening to you has happened to a lot of the older women already. The response by a lot of older women where children's stuff comes in is often, "I've already put in my time," but there are others who seem to feel like they are too old to be useful. Maybe what we should do is look for someone we admire and start picking their brains. Maybe if we make them feel like they are still important, still "relevant" (because they ARE), they'll step up more.

As for the same people being over-used, I agree it's a big problem. In our church, I think it's because everyone's reluctant to stand up in front of everyone and say, "We need help," so they just ask the same people over and over. It's a pride thing. They want to look like they have it all together.

The problem is that there's someone out there who really wants to be involved but feels like they aren't needed, and since no one ever gives them a chance to serve, they eventually leave.

Well there's my 2 cents. Although with inflation maybe it's more like a warped penny.

Jennifer

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Posted by diamondsintherough

I know you think I'm not speaking to you. :o) I am. I might even venture an answer this question, but right now I am being begged for a Go Fish game.
Sally

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Posted by Kayluray

Good question. The last church I attended (we haven't been there for about 6 months) called me this week to see if I could work in the nursery. Go figure.

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Posted by subbertfamily

Not only do I stay at home and eat bon bons and watch Oprah, but because I homeschool, I lock my children in the closet so that they can't socialize!! hehe!
I understand about being overused. We have a chapel on base that we attend. I didn't volunteer to teach Sunday school because with a little one, it just doesn't work out, but I did do Awana. That was difficult when I had the baby. I had backed out and they pestered me every week about coming back to help out. After having a csection and everything! Our children's church is run by a wonderful woman, but we currently have about forty kids back there and its the same women stepping up to help her out back there. I spent about four weeks back there in Sept before the baby was born so that I wouldn't have to go with a newborn. I'm not into the nursery too much. Take care and I hope the situation works out soon!

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Posted by Lachney1

We went to a church one time where the parents of young children were required to work in the nursery once every quarter. If you had two, then that was twice a quarter. Guess what? I had two young ones. I was a stay-at-home mom and I didn't want to spend my Sunday in the nursery, when I could go and be with adults. I believe that the parents should get a break from helping out and let the ones that don't have small children help out. We later went to a church that gets others to help out, but some parents of small children volunteer. Not me! LOL!!!!

As far as the Titus 2 women, we can all be that. Everyone can teach the young women and girls something. My parents spent about 20 years having lots of jobs in a church. When they finally left, my mom refused to do anything at their new church. She always had a heart for missions, but she isn't interested in doing anything now. I hate to see that, but you are right, you get burned out and you don't want to do anything. I think taking a break is probably what you need. One church we were at, did that. They would swap teachers every quarter, so that no one got burned out. You might could try that at your church. If you could find someone that would be willing to co-teach with you and then both of you would get a much needed break.

Blessings,
Penny

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Posted by naturalpaths

Sadly, the Titus 2 women are severely lacking around here. We've been to several churches and no one seems interested in stepping into those shoes. All the older ladies seem to have the attitude that they've "done their time" (raising their children and such) and are finished giving. The older ladies don't even seem keen on befriending any of the younger ladies. :-(

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Posted by Jana

Saw you leaving the gym yesterday with all your kiddos...you were on your way out the door when I saw you. You'll have to let me know when you go sometimes and we can go together. I just joined on Monday, so I'm looking for workout buddies.

Don't get me started about the Titus 2 Women at our church...I can go off on that subject. Sadly to say! But I know your frustration as we feel it at Here and Now with trying to find babysitters...it's horrible. :( No one wants to step up to the plate. At all!

Hope you're having a great day! Maybe I'll see you at the gym today...I'm heading there after I drop my kiddos off at summer recreation.

Lotsa hugs!

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Posted by PAMom23

We searched for ever for our current church! We choose a larger church because they have a paid staff for children's ministries. We still have to volunteer to help with Sunday School and VBS, but the person in charge has been hired to do the overall ministry. We fortunatly have many Titus 2 women in our church! But, I've also been to many churches where the older women have said that they have "served their time" and thought that the mom's should do their share now. I've also been on the receiving end of, "well you stay at home all day..." It's a thorn in my side!! Blessings, Kelly

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Posted by diamondsintherough

Told you I'd be back to answer you about the Titus 2 women:

Where Have All the (Titus 2 Women) Gone?
In the dim and distant past,
When life’s tempo wasn’t fast
(Titus 2's) used to rock and knit,
Crochet and chat and babysit.
When the kids were in a jam,
They could always call on (Titus 2).
In that day of gracious living,
(Titus 2) was the gal for giving.
But today she’s at the gym,
Exercising to keep slim.
She’s off touring with the bunch,
Or taking clients out for lunch,
Going north to ski or curl;
All her days are in a whirl.
Nothing seems to stop or block her,
Now that (Titus 2) is off her rocker!

(The real word is Gram, or Grandma, whichever, but I think Titus 2 Woman fits real nice, don't you? lol!)

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