Jul. 30, 2008
Housekeeping vs. Homemaking
Posted in Random Thoughts
It's a constant struggle. As much as I adore my mother, I admit that she did not instill any sort of cleaning knowledge in me. I had to ask my grandma a few years ago what she used to mop her floors (soap and water). I have had to ask SuperOrganized what she uses to clean her kitchen (soap and water). Anyway, I was a spoiled brat as a child and never did anything unless company was coming. Sound familiar to anyone out there?
It turns out this was a bad habit to learn, as I have figured out running a home with 4 kids 6 and under. It is A LOT of work. Throw MOPS and homeschooling on top of it, and it's just crazy. I really want homemaking to be a big priority in my life. It is always in the back of mind, mostly as, "I have so much work to get done." Or "wow, is that a whole inch of dust on the mantle?" If you look back to some old posts, you will learn that I have a cleaning schedule. This really does work WHEN YOU FOLLOW IT. I haven't followed it at all this summer. Now I am paying the price.
I find that most of the problem is housekeeping vs. homemaking. So, for example, the thoughts about how no one notices what I do, what's the difference it'll get messed up again, I am just a maid, etc. are the thoughts of a housekeeper. Like I am the hired help. The thoughts of a homemaker might include...well, I wanted to put an example, but I am hard-pressed. I want to be a homemaker. Can anyone help me with my attitude?
Comments
Jul. 30, 2008 - Hi
Posted by rosebudmom
I was just stopping by - I think this is a great post. There is a huge difference between homemaking and housekeeping! I've worked hard at helping my kids (and DH) see that when it comes to housekeeping we are all in this together. It is a matter of respect and consideration. On the days when my kids have offered much complaint about having jobs etc. I'dask them if they'd like to do ALL the housework. Usually this silences them pretty quickly. It is a challenge, though, trying to keep up with everything. It helps to remember that homemaking is about the spirit in our home as much the home itself. Sometimes as mom's we get so caught up in things being tidy and put together (which is important) that we lose sight of creating an atmosphere of love, service, and joy in our homes. It's just like so many other things in life - we need balance. Too much of one and not enough of the other will lead to frustration and lack of fulfillment. It is a constant challenge for me to try to keep it in perspective - I don't know that I'll ever feel like I've gotten it all down pat.
Hope you have a great day! -Becky
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Jul. 30, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by 4sweetums
That has been a real struggle for me too. Especially clutter and keeping the floors clean. I try to think of it as the home being a part of me. When people walk into my home I want them to really feel comfortable. I figure that means it doesn't have to be perfect. After all how comfortable do you feel in a showcase house. There have been pleanty of times when I have just suggested moving so I could start all over however. LOL!!
Blessings,
Dawn
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Jul. 30, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by kimalita
Hi new Friend! Thanks for stopping my way! I love meeting new friends here in blog world!!
I'd say that first off, pray, pray, pray and pray some more. He is the one that helps get our attitudes where they need to be. Second, what helps me is looking at my house duties not as a chore, but as serving, doing all for His glory. Do I enjoy scrubbing toilets? No way! But I try and have the mindset that I'm doing this for the Lord and my family. Next, it's time to start training the kiddos to help mom! In big familes there is no way that everything can get accomplished with only mom doing the work. Start young, it will pay off. Even little ones can help.
Teaching everyone to have a servants heart is a big thing.....whether in the house or out, its a must....God desires that of us.
And yes, the schedule....that helps me greatly. Of course you know that its great to have one but you must use it. :)) hee heee And lists, I must write one up daily or I am overwhelmed. I cross things off as they are completed.
I hope that helps a little......
KIM
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Jul. 31, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by jenn4him
This is how I look at things. Basically, homemaking is my job, just like it is my husband's job to go out and do his work even though he doesn't love his job. If I am whining and complaining about my job, I am not bringing honor to my God. I look at homemaking as my privilege. And it's not my husband's job to help me with it, although he does pitch in when he gets home because he wants to. Having 4 kids as young as yours, you are going to have chaos. But not forever. Eventually, you will have older children who can help you. I hope this helps.
Jenn
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Jul. 31, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by jsgay97
You have a wonderful knack for writing about what I'm thinking but NOT writing. I love that about you!
Anyway, in my more lucid moments, I remember that housekeeping is what enables me to make a home. Keeping the house is survival mode. Making a home is life.
Oh, and it helps to delegate . . . a LOT! ;)
Jennifer
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Aug. 2, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by LRF
Ya know - a funny thing, I grew up having to clean EVERY SATURDAY with my sister and maybe that is why I don't like to do it now? I would rather spend time with my kids doing something than the housework. My philosophy is as long as everyone has clean clothes and cooked meals everyday then I am not doing so bad! I will get things picked up when necessary!
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Aug. 3, 2008 - Hello!
Posted by subbertfamily
from atop of the Mountain of Laundry!! I understand totally how you feel. Sometimes, I just feel like a maid around here! And then I need to adjust my attitude too. I have restarted my children's chore charts. While my oldest is ten and can do more-even my five year old has chores, including empyting the dishwasher. How does she do it may you ask? When we moved into this house, I put all our dishes-plastic cups, plates, bowls-basically anything that we eat off of-into the lower cabinets. I moved the silverware down two drawers so it was easy to reach too. She may not get everything put away, but its a big help. I have her do the tv screens and windows, get trash from the bathrooms, comb the dog, etc. The seven year old vaccums, sweeps, and dusts. My son has some of the same chores and some more difficult ones. They each have three a day-plus keeping their rooms clean. It has been a huge help. At first, its a struggle to get it started and having me stay on top of them, but its a big help for me!! They don't always do it right, but I do not redo it after them. They will learn and I really don't care if its spotless or not!
Good luck!
Michelle-
ps-I'm off to clean the bathrooms-the dust balls are starting to make elephants-not bunnies!
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Aug. 5, 2008 - <em>Untitled Comment</em>
Posted by linny
I am learning the same things! I also have a hard time with when to clean versus be with the children. My latest TEACH magazine by Lorrie Flem - covered A LOT of what you are having a hard time with - if you don't get that magazine it is a good one! I try to keep my attitude in check - and focused on Jesus and serving my family because I love them, not because I need to. I have my negative moments, but they have been getting fewer.
There is also a website called www.motivatedmoms.com. You can buy a schedule for the year for cleaning - it even includes a Bible reading schedule- but it is great it breaks the cleaning into small chunks so you are not cleaning for hours everyday. You should definatley check that out! I use it is great!
I hope you have a great day today!
Edited by linny on Aug. 5, 2008 at 9:09 AM
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