Posted in day by day

It's been a long while again since I updated. The renovation things are pretty much done. We had a leak near the front door after some heavy rainstorms this spring - AFTER we painted the room - and that is patched now though it still requires some paint. The livingroom is nearly back together but does need some more decluttering yet. The interior doors still remain on the list of things to do. Life is slowly returned to some kind of normal though some major changes have been made this year.

The last post I made was shortly after I applied for a job. I didn't really intend to go out to work yet. I thought it would be a couple more years before I would search out a part-time job to keep myself busy and help out with monthly expenses. I thought I would continue to homeschool my son. Oh, he's still learning his educational pursuits at home. I'm just not the one helping him along. He doesn't need a lot of help these days except in the form of reminders of what needs to be done and discussion of key concepts. Although my husband is disabled, his brain still works extremely well and he's quite capable of supervising the day to day learning that goes on. So, back to the job application....

I applied and, after what felt like a very lengthy hiring process, was hired at a local home improvement store to work with kitchen and bath sales. I began work August 23rd. The first week or two were full of much training - mostly web-based to begin with. After that, I was able to be out on the sales floor but because computer systems are being changed over in a short time, I haven't yet received full training. It seemed pointless to keep trying to learn a system that was on its way out. Within a few weeks that should change and it will get easier to actually do the whole job I was hired to do. I'm working about 25-30 hours a week and the adjustment to spending many hours on my feet has been quite difficult for me. I suffered for a few weeks with massive blisters on my heals but now that they are healed and callousing up a bit, it's much better. I was hired mainly to work the early morning shift and, while that has been quite the adjustment for this night owl, I can't say that I hate those early mornings. I do still have some adjusting to do, though. ;) For the most part, I enjoy the job and the people I work with.

Life has changed in our house. My son is learning to cook and clean along with his normal high school education. My husband is learning to let the boy do... and just supervise and support. I am working for a living and we are all trying to adjust to the role reversal.

Dee..

Posted in day by day

Two days ago we saw our neighbour outside and chatted with him.  In summer we chat occasionally but in winter when it's not so pleasant to stand outside and talk, we don't always keep track of each other.  Anyway, back to the day before yesterday... we found out they were moving...  the VERY NEXT DAY!  Yes, yesterday our neighbours moved.  We were so sad about it. 

Today we met the new neighbour as she is bringing a few things over to the house.  She seems nice.  I'm glad for that.  It's always hard to say goodbye to good neighbours but then to only have to welcome bad ones is difficult.  We did that a couple years ago.  This one came with a "good recommendation" as she's a sister to our old neighbour's work partner but it will take a little time to get to know her, I'm sure.  Hopefully we will form a good relationship with her over the summer. 

Dee..

Posted in day by day

Things were not so busy a few weeks ago before we started our renovation planning. January and February were fairly quiet for me and I really needed that time for reflection after the sadness of December. In March things began to pick up as we started to plan our home school co-op days and get things into place. I missed the big conference that was held here this year instead of Saskatoon but we were fortunate enough to get to see the keynote speaker at a local church before he left the area. Dr. Jay Wile is so interesting to listen to and my son was thrilled to meet the author of his science texts! :)

This term at the co-op group I had planned to teach basic fingerspelling to the 9-11 age group. I figured that by the end of the 8 weeks we'd have to move into some actual signing in addition to the fingerspelling but they surprised me! Most of this ambitious group searched out some resources and began to learn on their own. As a result, I had to start teaching beyond the fingerspelling on the very first day! They will be a challenge for me, I'm sure, before this is done.

Because of the way my December went, I found a Griefshare group to join in February. The first group I was going to join had some wrong dates on their website so when I actually called about it before what was supposed to be the first night, I found out that they had already begun. The leaders knew of another group that was running locally so they gave me the number but also made sure that I knew I would be welcome to join them anyway, should that not work out for my schedule. I ended up joining the second group and it's been really good for me. It is quite a small group but it's just good to know that I'm not alone in my grief. It helps to focus a little on the journey others are on as well. Griefshare meetings are once a week for about 12 weeks. We just talked about emotions like anger and blame. It's really amazing the things you can be feeling as a part of your grief and not even realize it.

I have also had a couple study groups going on that I've been attending. One is at a local church (not ours) where my son is babysitting during a women's Bible study. I joined in to avoid all the driving back and forth and am having a good time getting to know the Bible and some other Christian women better. It's been a time of growth for me and a time of refreshment. They are a fantastic group of women who are very open and real. The other study is a small group study at my own church on the book of Joshua. It's been a pretty intense study so far and I'm learning a lot. I hope I'll be able to keep up with the homework from now till it's done. It can be quite time-consuming. This group just happens to be mostly senior women, along with our pastor and my husband. It's a fun group to be a part of. :)

I still sing occasionally on the worship team though there's more people involved now so it's less often than it used to be. That's really too bad because I really love when I get to be a part of that. I wish I had more opportunities to use that gift but perhaps something more will come up yet sometime.

Back to the topic of homeschooling, the school year has flown by and we are just a few weeks from wrapping things up for the year. Our goal has always been to plug away hard through the winter so we can have more free time in spring/summer. This year is no exception. My son is working hard and is just a week or two from completing his math, social studies and English. Science will likely take a couple weeks longer. My daughter is also just a few weeks from being finished only for her it's finished finished. She graduates this spring. I can't believe she's really going to be done. The past 18 years has gone by WAY too fast in a lot of ways...

Our homeschool group's Moms support has asked me to speak at our spring brunch this year so in addition to all that study homework I mentioned, I'm also preparing for that. I can't fathom how this is all going to come together but I'm sure it will. The same day, a friend is getting married so I'll speak in the morning and then in the afternoon and evening I'll celebrate with mixed feelings. The mixed feelings part is because she's moving away. Her fiance is from the States and she's moving there. I'm totally thrilled for her... but I will miss her presence here. Thankfully, her parents live here so it's not like we will never see each other again but it won't likely be all that often either.

So, life is busy... REALLY busy! But sometimes busy is good. Sometimes it keeps us from dwelling on things and going places we shouldn't go. I haven't had much time for the digital scrapbooking I started over the holidays but I will get back to that again... while I'm waiting for the different stages of installs for the kitchen. At least the snow is leaving and the weather is warming up. Spring is here in many ways! :)

Dee..

Posted in day by day

Here I go again.  I am negligent in blogging.  I am still having a hard time with the death issues from last spring and just can't seem to bring myself to post much.  I've been very busy through this school year (not really an excuse) but I've just felt unendingly sad this year.  If you've ever felt that way, you will know that it's incredibly difficult to convince yourself that you have anything at all worthwhile to contribute to the lives of others. 

It's not even that there haven't been some good things happening here and there.  There have been.  The biggest of those is that we managed to get our financial situation into a position that we can start to think about the renovations that have been needed since we bought our house almost 7 years ago now.  It's exciting!  It's also exhausting to even think about.  We need new flooring and paint through the entire main floor.  We need a new bathroom so that the facilities will accommodate my husband's disability and allow him a little more freedom and independence.  (It's been a long 7 years for him.)  We need a kitchen.  The one we have is falling apart so badly.  We've lost almost all our cupboard doors, the flooring is gouged and stained horribly, and the layout just does NOT work at all.  Finally, we spend a lot of time in our basement as that is where there is the most space for the whole family and we really need to brighten it up a bit... after we brace the floor joists.  It's an overwhelming thought of the money this will cost and what it will do to our debt load.  There are so many decisions that need to be made.  How do we get what we need and quality materials so we aren't having to do this again in another 10-20 years.  I know that the best thing to do is take it one thing at a time but it's really difficult to do when there's so MUCH that needs doing.  We've never done this before and it's a little scary to even get started.  However, that said, we have started making some basic decisions on layout and started looking at options for materials. 

Now, many people would say that this is a perfect opportunity for a homeschool family.  I struggle with the balance between schooling and life issues sometimes.  I realize that life IS education and while I don't dispute that, there are certain amounts of book learning that are beneficial to have in case university is in your child's future.  There are some things they need to be able to do if they are going to continue with post-secondary book learning.  They NEED tools and skills in that area to build on.  They can't just go in cold.  So, back to the struggle to find balance through this time and how to capitalize on the experience. 

The struggle I've had with the events of the past year is getting to a point where it needs to be dealt with more concretely so that I can really find fulfillment again.  I am starting next week with a Griefshare group for 13 weeks.  I hope it will help me to sort out those issues that have robbed me of joy the past months.  I want to be able to move on and LIVE. 

This is just a few of the things that have been occupying my mind and energies in recent months.  I hope to try to blog more but, honestly, it will come as it comes for now. 

Dee..

Posted in day by day

Just a quick post to say Happy New Year and all the best to you and yours.  This has been a bit of a difficult year for me but I'm looking forward to a better 2008. 

Praise God for another year!  :o) 

Dee..

Posted in day by day

Well, I knew this month would be a little difficult but I never dreamed it would be as hard as it's been.  December is the month of my step-dad's birthday (last Friday, to be exact) and my coping strategies are failing me.  I've been in tears the past week or so more often than not and I just can't seem to think about much else very well.  I can be thinking about something totally different and then there's Dad's face in front of me... or something totally unrelated to what I'm doing or thinking about that he said or did is just right there in the front of my mind.  I think my husband and children think I'm crazy but I guess this is part and parcel of having the grieving process quenched before it's really even begun. 

Anyway, there's where I've been... lost in a world of long ago, along with the sadness of today.  I'll be back eventually, and hopefully sooner rather than later.  It will take time, I'm told.  I can honestly say this is the hardest death I've ever had to deal with and probably because it's hard to believe that maybe he changed before his life ended so abruptly.  I can't be even reasonably sure where he will be spending eternity.....

Dee..

Posted in day by day

A lot to be thankful for...  yes, I have a LOT to be thankful for.  I won't just list all the usual things but will focus on a couple that have had the biggest impact on me lately. 

One of the biggest things I am thankful for is the friends we are starting to make now that we aren't having to move around every few months (or weeks even!) like we did in the first 8 years of our marriage.  It was crazy!  Because of my husband's work and various other issues we moved often.  That was nothing new to me.  My mom and I moved around a lot when I was a kid, too.  We eventually settled down for a number of years in one place when she married my step-dad.  It was nice to finally have a place to call home and it is much the same now.  We've been in the same city for almost 9 years (the end of this month) and in the same house for 6 and a half years.  That's a pretty long time when prior to here, we were no more than 2 years in one house and even as short a time as 5 weeks!  Although I'm used to a transient life and sometimes crave the change it always brought, I'm much better suited to being settled.  It's only the past few years that we've started to feel like this is really home and part of that is that we're finally making some real friends even though we still spend most of the holidays alone. 

Another thing that I'm thankful for is the closeness our family has maintained over the years and a lot of that is because we haven't had a lot of friends.  So, either way, I have something to be thankful for with regard to being "alone" as a family unit.  Homeschooling also contributed to it in a big way.  I appreciate so much how I've come to know my children as individuals and I don't honestly believe that would have happened without homeschooling.  I see a lot of families very similar to us but where the children are in school and I just know that life would have become busy with other things and the childhoods of my children would have been lost to us.  We're close and I like it that way. 

Well, I'm being called to put the finishing touches on things so I best go so we can have our meal and tell each other how much we love and appreciate each member of our family and the fact that we are now building a home and a real life, friends and all. 

Dee..

Posted in day by day

It always amazes me how time flies in fall and how busy we are for the month of September.  I can't imagine what it's like for those who have their children in a lot of extra-curricular activities. 

As busy as it's been, I can honestly say that I'm almost happy for it.  I don't know that I've really been able to grieve since hearing about my dad's death and right now that could be a good thing.  Well, it feels like it, anyway.  Of course, do we ever really like to grieve?  I don't think so.  I know that I will have to do that eventually though.  I'm really not sure how to go about it in this situation.  I still haven't seen anything in print saying he is gone other than what has come from my own hand and a notice on the funeral home website just giving a day and time for one of the services that were held.  I am considering getting out the photos from my childhood and doing some digi-scrapping of some of them.  We'll see.  That will likely be a winter project or something.  But first, I need to find some time....

With the fall has brought the beginning of school.  With my daughter working full-time AND doing school work, it's been a very different start to the year.  She has had some really good hours which has been nice for her.  You really can't beat 9am-5pm M-F when you are working in a restaurant's kitchen.  This has, however, created some challenges for scheduling our school work.  So far she has been diligent to complete her studies after work.  We have yet to get our full course load going because I was late ordering some of the materials we didn't have.  They should arrive soon though and then we'll see how successful we will be with getting everything done. 

My son, on the other hand, has also been very diligent to complete his school work and also to help me pick up the slack around the house.  I'm really very proud of him.  He has also picked up a couple of babysitting jobs for the winter.  One is just once a month at a local church where he occasionally helped out last year but has been asked to be a regular helper.  Because of that job, he was also asked to consider helping at another local church on a weekly basis which he also accepted.  It's a little farther from home but the good thing for me is that I can attend a weekly ladies' Bible study again.  I attended one session when my daughter babysat and was blessed by the experience.  The funny part is that the study that first time was on the book of Galatians.  This time it's a Beth Moore study on Fruit of the Spirit.  It looks good so far but I missed the first class so I need to get caught up before next week's class.  It will be enjoyable, I'm sure.  My son is really looking forward to a regular income through the winter.  :) 

We are attending our homeschool co-op classes again this year and that's always a lot of fun.  I've been teaching crocheting to the 8-11 year old girls and it's always a lot of fun and a big challenge the first few weeks when everyone is new.  I've also got some of the gals from my class last term that have come back to learn how to crochet a poncho so that will add to things.  It will be great after a couple weeks when everyone has a few of the basics under their belt.  The biggest challenge I have this term in that respect is teaching a lefty.  I was a little concerned about it but I am finding that it's kind of fun to have to view your work differently.  I just love teaching the girls at this age! 

Well, my day is getting away on me and so I best get going and accomplish something.  I've had a really good week with a couple opportunities to connect with friends and I'm so grateful to God for the blessings I have in each and every one of them.  I'll have to share more about that another time - perhaps in a thanksgiving post.

Dee..

Posted in day by day

Yeah, that's me.  I'm a negligent blogger. 

It's been an emotionally charged spring/summer but it's almost over.  Life will soon return to some semblance of normal and I will be grateful for that.  Not that this normal will be the same as past normals I've had but it will certainly find a rhythm and beat that will find a sigh escaping from my lips.  Time has passed since my nephew and my dad were killed in their respective accidents, bringing a certain amount of acceptance, if not healing.  VBS week has come and gone.  This coming Sunday is our new pastor's first sermon and the signal that a new normal will soon be found for our church.  Life is carrying on.  Things will always change.  It's unavoidable.  Sometimes it's welcome and sometimes it's incredibly painful but we can always be grateful for those things that cause us to grow and mature. 

So, back to my negligence...
Hopefully with the new routines of another school year will come consistency in my extra-curricular activities.  Some things have made their way into my life already.  I'm exercising more regularly and with less resistance.  I'm adjusting to my daughter's working and the effects it has on the household's operation.  I'm getting a little better organized.  The things that have been neglected will be added into the routine soon and will become the new norm.  It's all a process.  It all takes time. 

At first I felt bad and thought that I need to apologize for neglecting my blog but - more change - I am letting go of old emotional baggage and learning to be much more forgiving of myself over the little things, realizing that even diligence can take time.  I'm not gonna sweat the small stuff. 

Dee..

Posted in day by day

This has been an incredibly tough and emotional week for me.  I hope next week will be better!  Many "realities" have been in our faces and we realized that there is no possible way to manage a trip to Dad's memorial in Alberta in about 10 days.  The expense is just too great for us.  I won't get to attend at all.  That makes me very sad and it's so tempting to hold a grudge against his family for not allowing me at the "local" one.  I have to keep putting myself in their shoes and adding a little selfishness to the mix so that I am not angry.  I pour my heart out to God and he lifts my spirits enough for me to carry on. 

So, back to life in general.  My son has grown so much the past few weeks that he needs clothing again so it's off to Value Village today to see if we can find him some inexpensive things but when he's almost man-sized, I know it will be a challenge, not to mention he still has some of those little boy quirks.  "But it just doesn't FEEL right/good/comfortable, Mom!"  Anyway, it's just the two of us going this morning so I'm going to do what I can to make it a good time for the two of us. 

Later today we are getting together with a friend briefly.  He's bringing us a more up-to-date computer that his workplace is getting rid of because they are upgrading.  Gotta love that!  And I know there was something else before evening when our football team, the Saskatchewan Roughriders, play the BC Lions. ;)  It will be a full day.  And full days are what I need lately to keep my focus away from the negative aspects of this life. 

Dee..

Posted in day by day

Tomorrow is the day that there will be a memorial for my step-father.  Tomorrow morning his immediate family will "put him to rest".  All except for me.  I'm not welcome at this memorial.  I was part of another life in their eyes and most of them don't want me there.  Well, it could be that they just don't want my mom there.  It didn't surprise me to hear this because of all the bridges that were burned by my mom during the messy, ugly divorce.  However, I didn't expect it to hurt like it does.  How can they just forget 21 years of his life as if it never existed?  After all, that was almost half since he was only 53.  I just don't understand that. 

I'm grateful that there will be an "open" service in Alberta (where he lived the past few years) later this month and that I am ok to attend that one if I want.  I am sure this was a concession so that we wouldn't crash the family memorial.  Of course, they don't know me very well as an adult so they don't know that I wouldn't do that.  My mom.... well, that could be another story if they judge by her past actions.  I feel for her in a way.  I'm sure there are some good memories of the early days of their marriage and that she's grieving in her own way these days though she refuses to talk about it. 

Burned bridges are never a good idea.  I hope I'll be able to rebuild some of them in the coming years. 

Dee..

Posted in day by day

Yesterday was a crazy yo-yo kind of day.  We had bought our son an mp3 player.  He's had trouble with it a couple times and it was under an extended warranty with an option to return it for store credit.  A little over a week ago, that's exactly what we did.  So, then yesterday we'd received the gift card and decided it was the day to replace the thing.  His father and I decided to allow him a little more $$ to get a better player and call it his early birthday gift for next month.  He was thrilled.  We went for a quick breakfast at McDonald's and then to Best Buy, purchasing a nice Samsung with options for video and bluetooth, too. 

After that we headed off to get a few groceries, hoping to beat the heat in the forecast here.  Almost as soon as we started our shopping, the boy reaches into his pocket and asks if we've seen his wallet.  HUH???  Umm, no.  Oh, no.  So he and his dad go back to the other end of the city to look for it.  McDonald's says no one turned one in or anything so they leave our phone number in case someone still does.  Then off to Best Buy with no better luck.  Meanwhile I'm almost done getting groceries so they come to get me and we go home. 

Once the perishables are put away we call the treasurer from our church to have my son's pay cheque cancelled.  (He mows the lawn there.)  I was just about to call the bank to have his bank card cancelled and noticed a flashing light on the phone indicating that there was a message on our message manager.  It was a retired police officer from the other end of town.  He had found our son's wallet and taken it home with him!  Yay!  So, another trip across town to pick it up. 

The boy was so relieved.  He was in tears he was so happy that someone honest had picked up his wallet when it fell out of his pocket in McDonald's.  Yes, McDonald's.....  So, what happened was that about an hour after we left there, this fellow and his girlfriend were having breakfast and he happened to glance over into the corner of the booth seating.  When he spotted the wallet, he put it in his pocket preferring to contact the owner on his own if possible.  He did, however, leave his name and number with the staff at McDonald's in case the owner returned looking for it.  Now, it was probably about an hour after THAT when my son and his father went back but the staff just said no one had turned in a wallet!  Who knows if this fellow that found it had left it there, if we'd have ever seen it again!  Lesson learned...

Young teenage boys don't typically make a lot of money but the potential was there for our son's meager bank account to be cleaned out and for him to have to pay to replace some of the cards he carries, like library and leisure centre pass.  Instead, thanks to a kindly retired policeman, he still has his month's earnings and a new (added?) respect for honesty and integrity.  What could have been a bad day turned out to be pretty good. 

Oh, and our plans to beat the heat and be home before it got too hot didn't pan out but it was bearable somehow.... even at a temperature of 37 celcius that felt like 44 celcius with the humidex.  What a day!  Our evening was spent at a celebrity slow-pitch game where there was a poor turnout because of the heat but it was a real blast for us all.   

Dee..

Posted in day by day

The past couple weeks has gone along at a rather speedy pace as we adjust to our changing schedules with our daughter working.  She's been fortunate to have day shifts the majority of the time so she is able to walk to and from work.  If it's after dark then either myself or her dad will pick her up. 

Today was a day off for her and although we intended to sleep in a little, I woke at 7am and couldn't sleep any more so I got up and started to sort through some boxes of books that were given to me.  The phone rang fairly early and usually when that happens it's the secretary at our church needing my husband's help with the computer but this was even a little before her working hours.  I was very surprised to see my step-cousin's name on the call display.  I don't think we've spoken in about 15 years or more.  I knew it had to be bad news and I thought maybe my step-grandmother had passed away.  She's 86 and that would, of course, be the logical thought, right?  No.  I was wrong. 

My step-dad was killed in an accident yesterday morning.  It happened very close to where my nephew's son was killed just a few short weeks ago.  A truck went through a stop sign and hit him.  They both must have been travelling at quite a speed to cause the damage I saw on the news when they showed the accident scene.  It was just a mess of tangled metal. 

Mom and Dad had a bit of an ugly separation and subsequent divorce about 7-8 years ago and I hadn't seen him much since.  We had coffee last about 2 years ago and when I spoke of my faith, he laughed in my face.  We didn't have the best of relationships in the later years of his marriage to my mom.  However, there were some good times before the bad came along.  We had some really good talks a few times when I was a young teen and I always helped him outside on the farm before I'd offer to help in the house.  He wasn't ALL bad. 

Sadly, I don't have a lot of photos from those days when the relationships were good but the few I do have will be precious now, I'm sure.  The ridicule he showed toward my faith keeps ringing in my ears today.  My one desire at this point is that something happened between then and now that would cause him to call out to the Lord and name Jesus as his Saviour. 

I sure wish I had called him a week ago when I was thinking about him.  I sure hope that the relationship hurts of the whole family can be healed so that his death would bring some good to this earth. 

"Yeah, Dad... we had more than our share of problems, but you were still the only dad I knew.  I loved you."

Dee..

Posted in day by day

Today is Father's Day.  I can't help but think about the kind of day my brother must be having after so shortly ago losing his firstborn child.  I wrote him an email but I couldn't say "Happy Father's Day" because I can't imagine it feeling all that happy this year.  My heart goes out to him, his wife and remaining son. 

I seem to get into this kind of mood when I'm not feeling all that well myself.  I created the outdoor sign for our church's VBS program and we put it up yesterday.  I think I pulled something in my back because I'm really stiff and sore, but hopefully that will get better in a couple days. 

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there. 

Dee..

Posted in day by day

Yesterday was my husband's 40th birthday and had plans to go out for a nice early meal in the evening.  The day before, our daughter calls a place she sent a resume to.  It turns out they want an interview less than an hour before our reservations were for... but halfway across town.  Well, we figure we'll wing it by taking her to her interview a little early and then going straight to the restaurant.  It worked out quite well and we were a little surprised that her interview only took about 10 minutes.  On the way to our birthday boy's meal, we talked about how first interviews don't usually end up in a job but how they are really great experience for future interviews. 

We had a lovely supper meal - one of the best we've ever had.  It was a good time with just the four of us and we really enjoyed ourselves.  We don't go to many fancy restaurants but because we also don't get to do very much as far as activities due to my husband's health, we do splurge on nice meals when there's a special occasion.  We started out with two appetizers - calamari and mussels.  I'm usually not partial to mussels but these were fantastic!  The calamari was good, too.  Then we had the soup which was a halibut chowder and equally wonderful.  Two of us had the surf and turf and the other two had shrimp (scampi and something with tomatoe, feta and garlic).  When we were stuffed, it was time for dessert.  We don't usually order dessert but the kids really wanted Dad to have a sparkler and that meant ordering a dessert.  So, we ordered two and shared them.  One was fried ice cream and the other was a custard with filo pastry and a drizzle of honey.  It was the perfect ending to the meal. 

From there, we were very full and my husband had had enough of being out.  His pain levels were climbing quite drastically so we decided to head home.  Shortly after our homecoming, the phone rang and our daughter was offered her first formal job.  She's done a fair bit of babysitting but this is her first "real" job and she was so excited!!!  I would have been, too.  It was her second application put in, and her first interview!  It didn't take her much to find something, really.  So, the first day was today.  She was scheduled for this morning and she worked a 7.5hr shift in the dish pit at a local restaurant.  She said she was complimented a few times and had a good shift even though the job itself isn't ideal.  She will eventually be trained for prep and later for line cook if all goes well so she's happy, at least for now. 

How many people can say that they got their first job on their dad's 40th birthday, from a first interview. LOL  She works tomorrow at 5pm again.  Oh, and they said they would give her Sunday mornings off. 

Dee..

Posted in day by day

In my last post I told about receiving news of my nephew's death in the wee hours of Friday, May 25th.  There was a few days of trying to figure out if I was going to be able to go for the funeral and in the end I was able to make satisfactory arrangements.  So, Wednesday morning I left early to meet an aunt and uncle and then we met up with my mom and her fiance further along in our travels so we could all carpool together.  It's always tough to make spur of the moment trips when on a limited budget and that's what all of us were facing.  We arrived in Edmonton only to have to spend a few hours finding our way around the city to the hotel we had a room booked at.  The room was three blocks from the funeral home where the services were to be held. 

The day of the funeral was a beautifully sunny day and very warm so we were able to walk to a florist to get some flowers and to the funeral home.  There were a lot of people there.  The room was full and there were people overflowing into the hallway of the funeral home.  My nephew was definitely cared about!  The funeral itself was pretty nice as far as funerals go.  The pastor that did the service did a good job and the songs my brother and his wife chose were fitting.  The readings and prayers were also very appropriately chosen, given and prayed.  There were many tears shed and a few laughs were heard as well.  I stayed behind after the funeral to take some photos of the display that was set out.  My nephew was cremated and so it was all arranged around his beautiful wooden urn that was engraved with his name and dates of birth and death.  I also spoke with the officiating pastor for a few moments, thanking him for his message.  I then walked slowly back to the hotel while I contemplated things I'd heard and seen. 

Some of us visited for a little while and then took a taxi to a restaurant in the other end of the city to have a meal together with family and close friends.  It was mostly family and paid for by the restaurant since my nephew had worked there as a cook.  It was nice to have an opportunity to visit aside from the funeral itself though I didn't really get a seat where I could visit well with my brother and sister.  I ended up down on the end with the aunts and uncles.  That was ok, but I'd have liked to have visited more with my brother and sister and their families. 

Friday we travelled home and it was a really long day.  I arrived home a little after midnight.  There had been some good news along with the sadness and I'm grateful that I was able to go or the good news might not have been told to me.  God is at work in my family and I'm so thankful to Him for seeking the lost.  He is good, He is good indeed!!! 

Dee..

Posted in day by day

Today I sang at a funeral.  It was a really "good" funeral as far as funerals go.  The message was good and although there was a lot of sadness, there was also a lot of hope.  Hope was the theme of the music and the message both.  My singing went well other than one part where I was tearing up a little and couldn't see the words so I missed a line but managed to keep going somehow.  I had a lot of compliments so I guess it either wasn't noticed or something. 

After coming home, I noticed I had a phone call on the answering machine.  It was my brother.  That isn't something that happens all that often but he was through here a couple months ago after his uncle passed away.  (He's my half brother in reality so this uncle wasn't mine as well.)  The conversation started out very comfortably which was really nice since we'd had our problems in the past and are just trying to restore a relationship.  However, after a minute of pleasant chit chat, he says... "Sis, I have some sad news."  I never in a million years could have guessed.  His oldest son was killed last night in an accident.  I couldn't believe he'd been sounding so "normal" half a minute before.  I didn't believe him at first... and there's a part of me that still doesn't even though it's been about 9 hours since that phone call.  He hadn't been able to get hold of our mom... so I spent some time locating her and told her the horrible news.  I haven't heard anything more tonight yet... since I was out for an organizational homeschooling co-op meeting that I couldn't get out of.   I will get more information and details tomorrow after church.  I guess maybe I needed this time to really adjust to it all.  But I'm not sure it feels real yet.  So far, all I know is that my nephew was by himself, had an accident, went up on the road to flag down some help and was hit by a semi.  They said he didn't suffer.  The sad part is, this family is not a Christian family.  We don't know if my nephew was saved but think it likely that he wasn't.  The last interaction I had with my sister-in-law other than a brief visit this spring, she was angry with me because of a signature line that I had on an email that I sent her.  That was a couple years ago, but she didn't like the Christian overtones and thought I had deliberately sent it to just her.  I'm not sure why she was so angry and wondered if she'd been dealing with the Holy Spirit a little but it's not something I really want to bring up again very soon... especially at a time like this.  I'm at a loss as to how to handle this from that perspective.  Nothing can be done now for my nephew, and I know that God can and will bring some kind of good out of this situation and so I've been praying that the family will all be saved in the end.  Of course, I hope that my nephew called out to God before his life was gone but we'll probably never know for sure.  It's so hard when someone dies and we don't know where they were with God. 

Dee..

Posted in day by day

A friend's wife passed away on Monday after a lengthy battle with cancer.  We don't know them well because we're relatively new to our church having only attended there for just over 2 years now.  However, being that there is a wedding on Saturday our worship leader, who would normally do any special music of this kind, is already "booked" and busy.  So, I got a call to sing a solo for the funeral.  The song I'll be singing is Whispering Hope, written in 1868 by Septimus Winner.  I never really thought about the words to this song before but it's a very fitting song for a funeral, I think.  I'm nervous.  It's been a long time since I've sang at a funeral and only once before.  I hope I can stay composed for the song at least.  I don't want to disappoint the family in any way and hope to be a blessing somehow to all who are at the service. 

I look forward to the opportunity to get to know this lady better in eternity.  And I hope we will have the opportunity to get to know her husband better in the next little while, too.  I'm sure he's going to be a little lonely and we intend to have him over for a few meals and to visit. 

Dee..

Posted in day by day

I have really slacked off on my blogging, haven't I?  Yeah, ok... don't answer that. LOL It's been almost 2 months since my last post and that one was along the same lines as this one.   

I can happily say that the slacking off hasn't been a complete slacking off.  During the time that passed, I have had a few things on the go.. a few things on my plate that are new and so new routine needs to be found and time for things that I want to remain in my life.  I'm finding myself in a new season and it's taking some time to wear in.  I'm sure I'm not even close to the "finish" of this wearing in either.  It's going to take some time. 

On top of that, I've had some health challenges to cope with.  They are nothing too huge or insurmountable but they all throw a monkey wrench into the mix and make for some issues.  Life really throws us some curve balls as it goes along. 

Hopefully I'll be able to get back to some posting in the near future... but it will remain to be seen how often it will be.  

Dee..  

Posted in day by day

I haven't been around again in a few weeks.  I have had such a hard time just getting everything done some days.  Spring always brings a rash of things to do and desires for even more, doesn't it?  Well, it's not quite at the point that we usually call spring around here.  Usually that would be around the end of March, however, it seems to have arrived a bit earlier this year.  Trust me, I'm not complaining!  We've had so much ice this year that I'm really looking forward to nice green lawns and leaves on trees.  For now though, we're dealing with the havoc that the spring thaw brings.  Iced up drains on the streets leave us wondering if we should break out the swim suit or, at the very least, some hip-waders!  LOL  I'm sure we will see a dump or two of snow yet before we're done with winter but it feels good to catch a glimpse of spring. 

Our family had an opportunity to make a little spending money on Saturday delivering some community newsletters.  What a trial it was with the streets alternating with built up snow and ice or flooding with a foot or more of water that can't drain away.  We weren't able to finish and are supposed to go out again tomorrow.  I'm not sure yet if my body can handle it just yet.  I've become a little out of shape over the winter and the aches and pains I'm experiencing today are a sore reminder of that.  I will need to make sure that I don't let that happen next winter. 

Soon there will be yard work to do...  Thankfully, we enjoy working in our yard.  Welcome SPRING temperatures!  :) 

Dee..

Posted in day by day

I had forgotten how much fun shopping with a friend can be.   Yesterday I went shopping for an hour or so with my husband and then today I went with a friend.  It's been a long while since I've shopped for anything much more than groceries and preplanned gifts.  This time I was shopping for myself.  I felt a little guilty because we've had a lot of expenses pop up and sometimes it's hard to justify spending.  When there's good sale it's hard to resist, especially when there are things we feel we need.  Of course, how much of those things are really NEEDS is sometimes debatable. 

Anyway, I got some really good deals and cleaned out a little of my closet when I got home.  Most of the things I am getting rid of are things I've had for 15 years!  It feels good to get a few things that are a little more updated and that fit better.  I got a new winter coat, a skirt, 2 blouses, a shirt and 2 pairs of jeans for $200. 

Hopefully the next time I'll be a few sizes smaller but these are good encouragement along the way and I'm told that is important, too. 

Dee..

Posted in day by day

What an interesting twist it brings to have a new year fall in the midst of an ongoing school year.  I'm not sure if everyone notices this because I haven't seen/heard much comment on it before. 

As homeschoolers there's always this feeling of a new start in fall when the traditional school year starts.  There's new books, new activities sometimes, and new experiences that go along with being a year older.  Then there's the usual "new year" thing.  People tend to want to make a new start and make resolutions or set goals for the year. 

It's really strange to have this sort of thing happen twice a year but I never thought of it when I was in school myself.  It seemed normal.  Now that I'm an adult it seems different somehow. 

Dee..

Posted in day by day

Happy New Year!!!! 

I can't believe it's 2007.  Every year that passes I think about how it was when I was in high school and wondering what it would be like in the year 2000.  Things aren't as advanced technologically as we dreamed, or at least as my friends and I dreamed.  We aren't driving around in hovercrafts yet or replicating the food we enjoy.  I'm not a professional sitting in a stuffy office all day either.  Things aren't quite what I thought they might be.  But I have to say that things are, for the most part, good. 

We had a good night last night.  We spent the evening with another local homeschool family playing games.  It was such a blast!  We arrived about 7pm and then got the snacks put out.  Once the snacks were ready we sat down to a LONG game of Yahtzee with the kids.  It was so long because there were 5 kids (3 of them under 10) and 3 adults playing.  The kids had a great time, though.  After that game, the little ones went to bed.  The big kids (both ours) and the adults then played some cards for a while and during that game, my friend's husband arrived home from work.  We then played a rousing game of Taboo.  It was hilarious as some of the things brought back memories from the past and we had a lot of giggles about them.  We could barely think to stop to "ring in the New Year" but kept playing till about 1:30pm or so.  It was a really good time. 

Today I spent most of the day updating my address book and I'm still not done.  I need a break though.  I didn't have all my addresses in there and so I was doing data entry.  I think I've had enough! LOL  I'll try again tomorrow and see if I can get finished up.  I'm hoping we'll play some games around here yet tonight.  That remains to be seen.... but first we'd better get some of these munchies down before it gets too late to be snacking anymore. 

Happy New Year and I hope that 2007 is good to you! 

Dee..

Posted in day by day

Well, so much for thinking I'd be posting more here over the holidays.  Of course, I'm not sure I have a lot of readers anyway so it probably doesn't much matter.  However, for anyone who might be reading here now and again, I hope you and yours have had a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!  

Christmas Eve was a busy day because we had church twice.  Both services were very unique though and relevant to the season.  Thoroughly enjoyable!  Christmas Day was nice and relaxing.  We didn't get up out of bed until nearly 10am!   We didn't have a lot of gifts to open and while we were excited, we were also holding onto the mystery a little, I think.  We started opening about 11am and were done shortly after.  It was a really nice time together.  Everyone was happy with their few gifts.  We had bought a big gift each back in November (mp3 players) because we got a good deal then, didn't want to battle crowds close to Christmas, and didn't want to waste the warranty when we forgot to ask the store to date them for then.  We've already had good use of them and that's been nice.  My family was very kind and got me the crafting supplies I was hoping for so I will be busy crafting this year.  I'm looking forward to it after spending a couple years with studying and such.  :) 

This week we've played a lot of games and things together as a family.  It's been fun.  I've also prepared a class I'm teaching at our homeschool co-op starting later in January.  Thursday I helped my husband make a BIG batch of pulled pork for a wedding rehearsal supper on Friday.  We are friends of the family but recent enough that we don't really know their son well enough to get an invite to the wedding that was happening today.  I sure hope everything turned out as lovely as it sounded like it would be.  I'm sure we'll see a video and/or photos in the near future.  I should actually not say that we weren't invited either, really.  We were.  But it was when we delivered the pork and with New Year's and all, it just wouldn't have been wise for us to go today.  However, that said, I pray that J&S will have a blessed and happy marriage all the days of their lives.  They are such a cute couple! 

Well, since I'm not likely to be around over the rest of the weekend, I'll write a little about our plans.  Tomorrow, New Year's Eve, we will go to church and then run to the store for some munchies and drinks for the evening.  We'll relax the afternoon at home and then after supper we will head over to the home of another homeschool family.  We'll spend the evening together playing games, first with their kids and then they will go to bed and we'll continue on until my friend's spouse gets home from work shortly after midnight.  We'll have to ring in the New Year without him but perhaps we'll do it all over again when he returns home. LOL  I'm sure it will be a VERY LATE and very FUN night.  New Year's Day we'll be at home with just our own little family but that will be ok because I imagine we'll need to sleep some! 

So, with that I'll sign off and see you in the new year.  Can you believe it's 2007 already?  I can't. 

Dee..

Posted in day by day

Preparations... 
Each year our frantic preparations for Christmas have boiled down to less and less.  We even think about it less, which might sound very strange.  Oh, we get gifts for our friends and family members.  We bake some yummy goodies and this year we even assembled our first gingerbread house.  Funny, how I seem to do the exact opposite to most of the people around me.  As Christmas draws nearer, I move away from busyness instead of getting more and more busy.  It's not that we don't do some of the traditional things we used to, but we put more focus on slowing things down and enjoying the people we are spending time with rather than rushing around.  Granted, it helps that I don't work outside the home and I don't have family to prepare for.  The picture could be very different otherwise. 

We put the tree up around the first of December each year.  Usually it is that day or within the next couple.  Our daughter's birthday has always been a signal to us that the holidays would soon be upon us.  Last week we baked.  I spent a glorious day yesterday playing games with my family online.  I contemplated today when we should have our Christmas meal.  I wondered when I should make my last trip to the store for a few last minute groceries.  I'm grateful to have the opportunity to be relaxed about the holidays.  I often mull over how different it could be. 

While I'd love to provide for my children the kind of Christmas that I used to know as a child with all the excitement and frenzy, I also appreciate the opposite.  Some things are the same.  We go to Christmas Eve service at church and sing carols.  We chatter as we visit with others and share in their excitement but it is in stark contrast to the reflective quiet we will experience when we go home as we focus on the Christ child and then the next morning as we appreciate each member of our little family of four. 

This easygoing approach to the holidays is what works for us these days but I doubt we'd have chosen it willingly.  It is something that has come about as a matter of reconciliation to changes that we didn't and wouldn't choose but came to our life anyway.  This different focus is just part of the upside to a "bad" situation.  An upside I don't think I'd want to change much at this point.  

Only a couple more days to.... Silent night, holy night.  All is calm.  All is bright....  

Dee..