I found this blog entry on FamilyLife's MomBlog.  Again, I have found a mom that I can completely relate with.  Without going into too much detail, my husband and I have been having a hard time knowing where our oldest special needs daughter fits into our church.  It's been this way for years now, but it's getting more challenging as our other children are getting older and we'd like them to be more involved in church activities, such as Sunday school and AWANAS.  But, before I say anymore, the Lord has graciously allowed us to make it as a family several times this summer!   Anyway, after much consideration, we've just decided that we, me and my husband, will be taking turns being our daughter's helpers during Sunday school.  It's not what we would have liked at first, but it's better than me having to teach my daughter separately (which I've considered.)  And with 5 kids in the winter season and sick season coming up, getting to church regularly with all of us will be challenging anyway.  I know the Lord has a plan for us.  I don't necessarily mean that everything will work out for us so that Sundays will become easier (though that'd be awesome if that's what HE has in mind!)  Rather, I know the Lord hasn't forgotten about us or our daughter.  I found these promises-

Though all may forsake you there is One who will never leave nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5); who will love you to the uttermost (John 13:1); who will stick closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24); who knows every one of our needs (Matthew 6:25-34); and will be attentive to the prayers of His children (1 John 5:14-15). If you ask Him for bread He surely will not give you a stone (Matthew 7:7-11).

Now onto the 'Blog Entry' I was telling you about...

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HARD TIMES AT CHURCH

by Jennifer Dyer

Three years ago one of my favorite days of the week was Sunday. As a people person, Sundays at church were fabulous. I loved catching up with friends and learning more about God’s Word. Each week was like a family reunion without the mysterious casseroles and awkward “Who are you and how are we related?” moments.

But now I dread Sunday mornings. I have a hard time getting up (okay, I always have a hard time getting up, but it goes deeper). I get stomachaches Saturday nights, and I fight to get to church at all, much less get there on time. Why is that? Because it’s so hard!

Rachel is my beautiful, wonderful child, but her autism makes life challenging. She’s on a very specific diet and many foods are potentially harmful—including most common snack foods. She is nonverbal and doesn’t comprehend language well, so she has difficulty following directions. She needs one-on-one attention to participate in most social environments. And church, with its snack-filled, chaotic, and loud menagerie of fun, doesn’t always work. Or I should say, we don’t fit that mold.

I’d decided the best solution was to teach Rachel’s Sunday school class so the rest of my family could attend. Now I’m not so sure that was a great idea. In the last six months I’ve sat in a church service maybe three or four times, and I’m worn out. Plus, I’m carrying too much load trying to teach and maintain Rachel. I can’t do it anymore, and I know I’m not alone.

Many of my friends with special needs children have said the same things. One had to take over as nursery director and teach her son’s class just so her family could attend church. Another said when her son was younger she often got called out of church within 15 minutes. Another who goes to a church with special needs partners still has to stay with her son if the assigned aide can’t be there. It’s exhausting! Yes, the few times we’ve gotten to sit and listen to a sermon are wonderful, but not enough. Most of the time I’d rather my husband and other daughter would go alone and leave Rachel and me at home—something I never imagined saying. It’s that hard.

Church functions aren’t much easier. Babysitters are hard to come by and forget bringing the kids along, at least for us. The few times we tried that ended in disaster.

A solution? I’m not sure. I almost didn’t write this, but I want other moms to know they are not alone. Yes, life with autism or other special needs is hard, but God is with us. Furthermore, I believe He has a special place in His heart for our special kids. Don’t give up on good things like church just because they’re hard. Pray, then trust in God to work things out. He’s so big and His love is so great you’ll be amazed what He can do.

Even as I typed this, someone from my church called me to see how we can make things better for Rachel. Isn’t that awesome? So, please, never forget: God is with you. You are not alone.

My husband just recently finished reading A Redwall's Winter Tale, by Brian, Jacques to our 6 year old son, and our 4 year old jumped in on it too last night.  They are just getting ready to get into, The Great Redwall Feast.  These are the only two picture books available.  The rest of the books come in paperback form.  When I went the bookstore yesterday, I was surprised to see that the rest of the series was not located in childrens' section.  But, oh my...what a selection my husband will have to read to the kids!  http://www.lookingglassreview.com/html/the_tales_from_redwall.html

I tried out a Science cirriclum with my 4 and 6 year old today.  I ordered it several months ago and have just had it on hand.  We had so much fun with it.  It's called, 'Considering God's Creation.'  You can check it out. http://www.eagleswingsed.com/products/cgc.html

I thought it would be fun to share my latest scrapbooking pages.  Well...the only two I finished last week.  But, before I indulge you any further, you must  know that I am not a consistant scrapbooker.  The last scrapbook I actually finished was for my almost 3 year old son (which means I have lots of pictures to scrapbook.)   It was an album of him in the hospital right after his birth.  Actually, it was mainly pictures of his two week NICU stay.  It was really theraputic for me to do, as his birth wasn't exactly what we expected...which is another story.

I also have to say that at one time I thought just getting pictures taken of my kids and getting them put into an album was doing really good (and I still think that it is!)  I think it was shortly before my first daughter's birth that I *really* heard about scrapbooking.  I thought it looked lovely and beautiful and yeah...I'd love to give it a try.  But, once our daughter came along, my priorities definitely took a shift.  Baby? First!  Taking pictures?  Whenever I had a spare moment!  Scrapbooking?  Ummm...once in a very great while. 

I've always been amazed at the way some moms have been able to faithfully and beautifully keep up with their children's scrapbooks.  I think they are wonderful and I know that people all over will cherish the materpieces that their moms took so much time to put together.  On the other hand, I've also found myself feeling that scrapbooking (for me at times)  is just one more thing for me to pile onto my already overflowing plate of motherhood.  One more thing that I can't quite make the time to fit in regularly.  Isn't that sad?  And I also figure that I probably don't care about it as much as other women.  A person truly makes time for what is important to them.

I guess what I am really trying to get at is this.  You're not a bad mom if you don't scrapbook.  It's just a fun hobby (that takes time.)  I think the results are worth seeing the joy on my kids' faces as they look through their books.  But, I no longer feel condemnation over the issue (because that's not of God!).  I used to see other moms' wonderful scrapbooks and feel bad as I thought about my own pictures and scrapbooks tucked away in a box.

Now, I just see it like this for me.  I have chosen to only do certain seasons of my children's lives.  Like birth, or a birthday page, or maybe special events page.  I also LOVE the scrapbook kits that come with matching paper with coordinating boarders, etc.  But, I will not be trying to scrapbook every single picture I have of them.  That's what albums are for.  I want to find joy and freedom in my hobbies.  Recently, someone chuckled at me when I told them I was scrapbooking my baby's birth and hospital pictures. Their comment was something like, " What, your daughter is only 16 months old?"  That made me feel a little sad.  Because what I shared with them out of excitement (the fact that I actually took the time and had the time to scrapbook), was stated back to me in away that was saying, "Look, you can't even keep up with this simple thing."  Or at least that is how it made me feel.  And I know I am not the only mom to feel this way, as I've heard others talk about their love/hate relationship with scrapbooking.

I would just like to offer encourgement to other moms.  If you feel so far behind in this area, don't sweat it.  Pull out your pictures, and dust off your books.  Take a little bit of time for yourself and scrapbook.  Relax and do NOT compare yourself with other moms.  You have a entire lifetime to create these visual memories for your family. 

*A little sidenote*-I don't like sharing my kids' names over the web, so I was able to smudge out my baby's name with a 'smudge' tool using Adobe photoshop.  Isn't that cool?

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3012630939062786693

My not-quite-three year old is really becoming his own person.  He loves books and to be read to.  'Jesse Bear' books are a big favorite of his!  We've been working on potty training a bit.  This particular day that I snapped the 'potty' picture was a very good day with it.  But, everyone was getting colds and all of my kids were needy.  So, we stopped.  I haven't tried anymore.  Though, I was told by a nursery worker at church that on Sunday my little guy said "I hafta go potty!"  I am happy that he is at least showing an interest.

He also LOVES music.  He and his older brother often fight over the keyboard, so it gets put up....alot.

These two LOVE babies.  And they just happened to be fighting over a certain baby doll one night.  My oldest and my youngest were fighting for the same toy....how strange!  But, that just happens to be normal in our household right now.  I've gone through this now four times with having a SN child.  And yes...my youngest pictured at the top completely has the attitude of, "MINE!"  Isn't it obvious????

And also, yes...my oldest daughter's legs ARE a bit purple in the picture (you're not seeing things)  She tends to have a bit of poor circulation due to her syndrome.  She's beautiful nonetheless.  And when she loves on her baby doll and calls herself a "Gnng nana," (good mama), she is even more beautiful to me.

Just had to throw this one in of my precious four year old all ready to go to sleep.  It just looked like a pretty picture to me, so I grabbed the camera.

It's a Horned Tomato Caterpillar.  A family member pretty much told me what it was when I described it and I looked it up.  My 6 year old and I found it when we went on a nature walk on Saturday morning.  Truthfully...the thing kind of disgusted me.  I love being outdoors and taking walks.  I appreciate nature and even like examining it.  But big green caterpillars aren't for me.  I like the little fuzzy ones.  But, my son was ecstatic when we found it, and I was a little excited too.  Mainly,  I just wanted to make my son happy.  We ended up scurrying home to get our jar (that our previous caterpillar died in), to deposit this big green fellow in.  We got to watch him for 3 days...but he ended up passing on as well.  Sigh...so sad.  I am pretty certain that we didn't get the right kind of leaves put in the jar in time for him to eat.

BUT...I am not giving up!  I have heard good things about this: http://www.adoremusbooks.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=6104

A Live Butterfly Garden :)  I want to try it.  I'll definitely be posting about it when we do. 

My little guy above will be 3 in October!  Hard to believe.   He is really into books.  I am just starting to do 'Before Five In a Row' with him.  Today we read one of my kids' favorites, Caps for Sale.  Today my little guy was sorting colors for me and we worked on counting.

I ENJOY her.  What an impression she makes on me.  Most of all I love her honesty. 

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=a35c3eca7c5a5849d2c0

Ahhh yes...you cannot go wrong with peanut butter playdough.  My 6 and 4 year old had lots of fun playing with it, and then got to eat a bit toward the end of play.  My 7 year old special needs angel wanted to stuff huge clumps of it into her mouth, as did my 2.5 year old.  Why cannot I not remember to have a sense of humor during these moments?  I just kept thinking how expensive both peanut butter and honey are right now.  Because those are two of the ingredients.  Of course, I was okay with my kids eating it, I just wanted them all to ENJOY it, before it was consumed. 

I really want my oldest daughter experience the things that her siblings are able to.  But, often times, reality hits.  She hated having me get her hands all mushy in the playdough.  She didn't want to play at all...just eat.   I tried.  And my 2.5 year old seemed to think this was lunch.  Nope, sorry Bud.  He was mad at me when I took it away...as you can see.

I gave my kids chocolate chips to use to decorate their artwork.  My four year old created the perfect educational moment by counting her chips over and over...yay!  My six year old said, "Hey mommy, come look at the eyes and mouth I made!"  The recipe I found on-line for this Peanut Butter Playdough was: 1 cup creamy peanut butter, 1/2 cup honey, and 2 cups non-fat dry milk.  Mix the PB and honey together first and then slowly add in the powdered milk.  But, do not use the whole 2 cups of dry milk if playdough seems to be getting dry.  Mine turned out fine.

I don't know how long this playdough saves.  But, I put my kids' playdough in the refrigerator, as well as the left overs.  I'll have to let it sit out to soften up before they can play with it again.

Oh my.  It's kind of hard to believe that our oldest son is six years old.  I remember the day of his birth very well.  Here's what I remember the most.  I entered into the birth center already in hard labor.  When the nurse went to check to see how far dialated I was, her eyes got real big.  All I asked was, "Can I have an epidural?"  And she said, "I don't think we're going to have time."  About an hour and a half later our beautiful baby boy arrived.  I couldn't see his face at first, only his feet as the nurse carried him away to clean him up and weigh him.  And my first thought and what I said to my husband was, "My...what big feet he has."  Then I waited for him to really cry.  I was expecting a typical high pitched newborn cry.  Instead he had a very low and mellow cry for a baby, almost soothing.  We were surprised.  And then when they placed him in my arms, the first thing I noticed was how big his nose was.  I know that sounds strange.  But, his older sister had such tiny, tiny features and an itty-bitty  nose when she was born (because of her genetic disorder.)  So, I was holding a much different child.  Just as special as my first and oh so beautiful.  The other thing I remember about him was that he had such coppery highlights in his blond hair (that later disappeared), and then the comment that his daddy made about him while holdilng him.  He said, "He's a sweet baby."  And yet, just the other day his daddy said the same thing again about our now six year old..."He is a sweet boy."  That he is.  And we love him so much.

For his birthday, our son wanted a 'Ping' cake, inspired by the children's book called, The Story of Ping.  Our son loves the main character in the book, a little yellow duck, who lives on the Yangze river in China with his very big family.  My son wanted me to include Ping's siblings on the cake as well.  He loved the cake.

Daddy took our son out for the traditional pizza birthday lunch.  And then onto a trip with mommy to spend some birthday $.   We had "the cousins" over and beloved aunt over for cake and ice cream in the evening of his birthday.  Our son specifically asked for that  Our son's main gift was a barrel of tinker toys.  Hopefully this will be something that will keep his busy hands and mind occupied for many, many days...maybe even years...(prays his mommy!)  It was a good day.

Out of all of our kids, these two are the closest in age....18 months apart.  They've been playing together a lot more.  It's been a lot of fun to watch them giggle and crawl around on the floor together.

We were able to take two of our kids on special outing while our other three kids stayed at gramma and grampa's house for the day.  We decided to go on a Dessert Train!  Our 6 and 4 year old LOVED it.  They in fact, spent most of the over two hour ride outside on the train deck (with daddy and mom of course!)  Fortunately the train didn't go too fast.  The weather was wonderful.  Low humidity and a refreshing breeze.  They served a light snack and then a very yummy dessert.  Fortunately they did have a bathroom on the train as well.  That was....interesting.

I love these pictures.  I especially love the ones of my kids covering their ears as the whistle BLEW!  I love the one of daddy holding our little girl.  Our favorite scenic view was the 'High Bridge.'  And it was very high.  Very creepy for me to look down upon from the outside deck while riding on the train.  It's kind of hard to tell just how high it was from the pictures.  185 feet high.  You can see my son peaking over the deck rail down upon the trees.  There is the river below.

  At then end we took the kids to the gift shop and they each got to pick out something to remember the day by.  I ended up picking out the picture book, Orphan Train, by Verla Kay and Ken Stark.  Really, the book rather sad.  It's very real, but not too much so for little ones...in my opinion.  It's important for me not to shelter my kids from a world of suffering.  After reading the book today, we talked about the children in the book and their circumstances.  We also talked about children and families less fortunate then we are.  We talked about how the Lord calls us to help the poor and the needy, and to care for orphans.   I also wanted them to see the reality for other children from the past and even across the world today.

Going down another conversational track  I really enjoy trains.  They seem kind of mysterious and romantic to me.  Yet, the only one minor downside for me is that after I got off of the train, the whole entire rest of the day it felt as if I was still on the train.  My brain was fooling me into thinking that I was still moving and I felt sick as well.  The same thing happens to me on planes.  I guess there won't be any cruises in our future.

I love teaching Desiring God's, He's Established A Testimony.  I am only on the fourth lesson, but I can truly say that not only are my kids learning a lot (hopefully!), but I am too.  I aim to teach a lesson a week.  I try to read the bible passages several days ahead of time (suggested in the teacher/parent's manual), and let it soak in.  It's amazing how the Lord helps me for the most part, read straight Scripture, yet helps me re-word phrases or difficult words that my kids might not understand, into ways that they do. 

I did not grow up in the church.  Even though I am a Christian, there are definitely areas that I need and want to be more grounded in.  One of my prayers is that the Lord would help me thirst for His Word more than anything else.  I am finding that I very much feel like a little girl myself when preparing these lessons.  They have been so satisfying to me.  I feel as if I am crawling up into the lap of my Abba, Father and learning straight from Him.  

I have been wanting to be in a bible study.  Yet, the Lord has said "no" to a few options for me.  But, for now, I can see Him saying "yes" in this way.  I am learning while teaching my kids.  This is one of the very reasons that I have been excited about homeschooling too.  It's also funny to me how God has given me the grace to even teach these four lessons, with minimal interruptions.  And yet it seems that when I really try and teach anything else, it is much harder.   

Here are a few shots just from yesterday.  Our baby is finally starting to pull herself up and walk along the couch at 14.5 months of age.  NONE of our children have been early walkers.  Our pediatrician has said more than once (good naturedly of course) that our children just lack the motivation to walk early.  Well...so be it.  But, it is so much fun to watch them once they finally decide to get up and try.  It never gets old to me.  We also got our baby girl to walk at least 2 steps to me.  But, now she is too scared to try any more of that at this point.

Our oldest special needs child has been so up and down with her moods and behavior.  We feel fairly certain that it is related to her digestion.  We are now trying something different with her and waiting to see if we've found something that will be helpful.  She has had a few really good days.  In fact, Sunday evening was absolutely wonderful with her.  We all sat around (yes, with 5 kids!), and ate popcorn and cheerioes while daddy read aloud, Wind in The Willows.  We just LOVE to see our daughter's smile.  It feels like a little bit of heaven to us, truly.