“Peace”: The Song that changed the way I look at forgiveness

I was eleven years old when one of my friends teased me. I remember the day as clearly as if it had happened moments ago. He had teased me before, and I knew that it was just his character. But that particular time pushed me over the edge and I began telling myself not to like him. Soon this dislike grew into a very real, fiery hate. I didn't like hating him, but my pride told me not to forgive him. So I didn't. For three years. And I can tell you this...even three short years is an infinitely long time when you go around hating someone down to your very toes. All that time, in my young and immature way, I prayed to God to make him come and seek my forgiveness, because deep down in my heart, I was tired of making myself hate him. Little did I realize that our families were slowly drifting apart into our own worlds. Even less did I realize that he had most likely forgotten the incident, and had no idea that I possessed such a distasteful feeling for him. I struggled for some time between wanting to forgive him and wanting to hate him. My ever maturing heart knew that the right thing to do was forgive. But my stubborn girlish mind said the opposite. I didn't know at the time how close I really was to learning a series of valuable lessons in forgiveness.

            It all began one evening, doing dishes with my mom in the kitchen. It was close to Christmas, and we were listening to our favorite CD, a collection of Christmas songs by Jim Brickman. As the magical, glorious music floated around me, my heart was consumed by the battle it had been fighting between hate and love. Then the song “Peace (Where the Heart is)” began playing. I had heard it before, but this time, I really listened to it and let it sink in. And right there, the words of the song hit me like a two-ton truck. I realized fully how much time I had wasted being angry at someone who had no idea that they had hurt me. In that moment, I forgave him. Yes, my heart still hurt, but now it was the hurt of seeing how many years I had missed out on by being mad. A tremendous peace flooded over me and I began to learn how to love in spite of hurt.

            Several years later, I found myself in numerous other relationships with friends and various people. A few of those friendships caused me heart breaking pain. But I discovered something while dealing with the pain of ruined friendships, people letting me down, and people that I loved being taken away from me. I learned that I could not hate. I couldn’t hate anyone, even if I tried. When one of my friends was killed in a car accident, I found that I could not blame or hate the driver of the car who had survived, nor could I blame God. When a friend broke my heart, no matter how disappointed and hurt I was, I could not find true hate in my heart. This revelation was amazing! In spite of all crushing my heart would ever endure, my faith in God was so rooted that hate could not enter my heart. I’m sure if I truly let hate settle and fester, and then fed it daily, it would grow inside me. But with a faith that turns my shattered heart to God each and every time, and says “Not my will, but Thine”, I am healed by His touch and by letting Him take my hurt and feel it Himself.

Nothing is impossible with God. Even the most broken of hearts can be restored in His love. Take it from those who have experience such a miracle. And let me share with you the words of the song that taught me such a grand lesson about true forgiveness.

On a city street somewhere,
Someone shoots a gun
In the midnight air.
And I don't know why.
Somebody lives, somebody dies;
Somebody wrongs and a mother cries.
And I don't know why.

Some things we'll never understand;
Other things you change if you can.

Chorus:
Peace, you'll find it where the heart is,
And the heart is right where love lives,
And love can always find a way.
Hope is something that reminds us,
It's not too late to find us.
One day we may be in peace.

Haven't spoken in thirty years
After angry words and bitter tears.
And I don't know why.
Best of brothers and best of friends;
One mistake and their story ends.
And I don't know why.

Some things we'll never understand;
Other things you change if you can.

Chorus

It's all about forgiveness;
With God as my witness
I wanna live to see peace.

Chorus

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