I realize that the order of events have now started to blur.  Instead of giving day by day accounts I am resorting to happenings and situations that occurred rather than in any given order.  Some of these were brief – some happened over several days.  I think of them now in chunks and complete although in reality they were broken and mixed and spread out adding to my confusion over the next several days. 

I have never been one of those fantastic moms who can multi-task.  You know the ones: they can fix a meal, talk on the phone, put a bandage on and know what’s on the news at the same time.  If I’m on the phone and Sir or Red try to talk to me I have to stop the phone conversation and say WHAT?!  I just can’t do more than one thing at a time.  So put me in the hospital with Sir in a post-operative blur – and then tell me to make decisions.  Yeah, right.

So that very Monday the social worker comes to talk to me about finances.  Finances is not my strength.  I rarely balanced my checkbook before I married (I don’t do it now, either – Sir does it) I figured if I spent less than I put in – I was okay.  It was a theory that generally worked for me as I rarely bounced a check.  So anyway – the social worker is talking, saying that she contacted the insurance company and that there might be a problem.  She apologizes that we may have been mislead with the insurance paying for the surgery.  We knew that the insurance would cover the kidney but not the pancreas. What she is now telling me that since it was all done in one surgery and they don’t cover the pancreas, they may now refuse payment on all.  She kept on talking, I hear words and see her mouth moving but I am no longer comprehending.  Sir is in the hospital bed – he handles the finances, etc.  What am I supposed to do?  I look at her and say I am not understanding a single word you are saying.  That’s okay she said, I don’t expect you to but I’ll be here if you have questions – and then she kept talking.  Saying that the insurance contact she spoke with said that the surgeon hadn’t the authority to go ahead with the surgery without insurance’s approval –never mind that it happened on Sunday night.  I think the room is starting to spin, so as usual, I try to resort to humor and say “well, it’s not like I’m going to lose my house, right?”  She says, I can’t promise you that. 

Deep breath.  I say, I think, calmly, I’m going to give you the names of two men that I want you to explain this all to.  If they have any questions – you answer them.  They will help me.  I later asked my pastor to take this over – he actually runs his own business, too – and he said no problem, I’ll figure it out.  I asked Tom to help, he looked panicked and said NO WAY – but I will head up a fund raiser, don’t worry about finances.  I told him what the SW said about losing my house.  He asked me some questions about size, etc and what I owed.  He then looked at me and said:  you will not lose your house, we won’t let that happen.

The next day I saw the SW again and asked her if she had talked to the insurance company again.  She said no she had done what she could; the next step was up to me.  I thought – this is what you meant about helping?  She said I better plan a fund raiser and then she said, “I’m not talking about a little chili feed here, I am talking about something major for the long haul.”