Keeping Up

Mar. 20, 2006 - Reflecting on a birth

I'm sure I have A's birth story around somewhere, but I can't find it.   So while it is somewhat still fresh in my mind (you know, as compared to when he's 16!) I wanted to write it out tonight.

My due date was quickly approaching, and I was very ready to have a baby.  Here I am on 3-11-2004


On Thursday, March 18th, I had an appointment with my midwife.  I was unchanged from the previous week--not even 1 cm dialated, and not effaced.  She warned me that she was completely off call from Friday morning until Saturday afternoon, when she would check in with me, but go off call again on Saturday evening through Sunday afternoon.  She was alone in her practice, so we went over what I would do if I did go into labor when she was off call (just call the hospital and tell them I was coming in).  I wasn't too worried, though, as I wasn't having any contractions at all.

On Friday morning, March 19th, I lost some of my mucus plug, and I started getting contractions.  Of course.  Because of the timing, I realized quickly that there was little chance of my midwife being around for the birth--I knew it could be awhile, but it just didn't seem like it would be 36+ hours until the baby was born.

I went to the park with DS, then 2, and loosly timed contractions all morning.  They were very irregular, but ranging from 5-15 minutes apart.  The irregularity continued all day, but they were mostly "easy" contractions.

Around dinnertime, we had to make a decision, though.  If we thought we were going to have a baby that night, we wanted Gramma and Grampa to come get DS, so that we wouldn't have to call them, then wait for them, in the middle of the night, as he would be staying with them.  After some debate, we decided to alert them and have DS go to their house.  At the very least, we'd get a good night's sleep!

He left around 7pm.  From 6pm on, it started getting more difficult, and I did have to relax through contractions.  It was harder, though, because DH was taking care of DS.  It helped a lot when he could focus on me, after DS left.  They were still really irregular, though, from 2-9 minutes apart, and from 30-90 seconds in duration.  But the intensity of them surprised me, it was nothing like my early labor with DS.  I didn't expect them to be so hard to handle when it seemed like it must be early still, since I had no regular pattern.

I wanted to wait as long as possible before going to the hospital, since I had no idea what to expect with my care, without my midwife.  I wanted to just get there to have the baby, with no time for intereference.  But the irregularity yet intensity of the contractions had me perplexed.  We finally decided to go in around 10pm. 

I was checked around 10:30, and I was 5 cm dialated.  It was a bit of a letdown, I had really been hoping to be farther along.  Especially since it was really painful at that point.  It was also really hard to get comfortable in the hospital bed.  I tried walking around, but the contractions were too intense.  At home, I had been able to completely relax on my bed, but the hospital bed was more uncomfortable, and I couldn't figure out a good position. 

I finally achieved a good place--lying on my left side, with DH lying behind me.  I just got comfortable, and they wanted to check me, at about 12:15 am, now March 20th.  The OB was now there, the first time I'd seen him, and he said I was 7.5, almost 8, and asked if he could break my water.

My DH is the perfect labor coach and advocate.  He knew I didn't want to have any interventions if they weren't necessary, so he said no, but looked at me.  At that moment, I started shaking, and realized I was in transition, and told him to go ahead and break my water.  I knew it didn't matter anyway, I guess.  He broke my water, and left the room (I don't think he realized I was as close as I was--since it had taken me 2 hours to go 2.5 cm, I think he figured it would be at least an hour).  A few minutes later, maybe 5, I started telling DH that I had to push.

At first he tried to calm me down, relax me with soothing words--until he realized I wasn't just saying I couldn't take it anymore, but that I WAS PUSHING!  Thankfully the nurses heard my yells, and came right in.  They did a quick check, and yes--I was 10cm and completely effaced.

It was very classic--after that initial "urge" to push (as it wasn't really an urge, but an overwhelming need to push, and my body just pushed without my will anyway!), I had a break of about 5-10 minutes with no contractions, no urge to push.  Just a rest.  The doctor got back, and was ready by the time my next urge to push came.

I pushed a handful of times.  After the 2nd push, I had the "ring of fire", and wow.  It was something I didn't experience with my elder DS, and it certainly is intense.  The OB was great, and tried to ease the baby out--but just like big brother, once his head was out, his whole body was out (with such a big head, it clears a nice path for the rest of the body!).  We had not found out the sex of the baby at our previous ultrasounds, so the doctor held up the baby for DH to look and say "It's a BOY!!"  It was a very special moment for him.

It was a beautiful birth experience.  Even without  my midwife, I had a low-intervention, drug-free hospital birth.  My DH is a great birth coach, and we had a beautiful son.  He was 9lbs, 6 oz, and 21 inches long and adorable.  We spent a bit of time getting to know him, then were transferred to our post partum room where we all slept for a few hours.  We only stayed at the hospital until 5pm the next day, since we found a shared room not very restful, and we were eager to get our little boy home.


It's so hard to believe that little guy is now two.  Happy birthday to my sweet sunshine!
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Mar. 20, 2006 - Happy Birthday to...

My new 2 year old!  DS2 turned 2 today.  He is a very sweet two-year-old, most of the time at least.  Last week he started calling us "mommy" and "daddy", though we have never used those names to refer to ourselves, as I am always mama, and DH is dad.  He's using words and short phrases frequently, and finally his speech is getting much clearer--others can understand some of his words now!  I decided tonight that the phrase "hold me" (said often as "hold me hold me hold me hold me") has to be one of the sweetest 2-word-phrases there is.

We had a great time celebrating his birthday.  Last night Gramma came over (Grampa is sick) with dinner for us.  We ate, had cake, and opened presents.  A. loved blowing out the candles, and we did that 20 or so times before he was ready to actually eat his cupcake.  He had great fun opening his presents, and tore through them all in record time.

This morning he got his present from me and DH, and we had a great day playing.  We had meatballs and letter french fries (from Ian's) for dinner, and then opened more presents, from the other Grandparents.

And we took pictures.  Lots of pictures.

Here's the birthday boy, playing with his Wiggles dolls


And here are the two brothers together.  It is so much fun to see them playing together, all the time now.  For a two-year-old, little A is very good at sharing with his big brother.  He just loves to play with him, though.



It's a little sad that my baby isn't really a baby anymore, but I enjoy my two little boys so much.  Praise God for their presence in my life!
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Mar. 16, 2006 - A funny video

Thanks to Shellie I have learned that I can put a video on my blog. This very funny video is from several weeks ago, when DH and DS4 went to Lake Tahoe to play in the snow.  Little DS (almost 2!) was supposed to go, too, but he got sick at the last moment, and had to stay home with me.  As for me, I hate the snow, and wasn't planning on going anyway.


Video Sharing at DropShots.com


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Mar. 8, 2006 - Those precious moments

I write this entry as my nearly-2 year old is sleeping in my lap.  He's taken to waking up after about a 2 hour nap, not quite ready to wake up.  He nurses, then falls back asleep in my lap.  If I hold him, he'll sleep for quite awhile.  If I try to put him back down, he wakes right up.

So I am enjoying my moment where I am forced to sit down.  DS4 is playing quietly with blocks behind me, we're having leftovers for dinner, we already did school, I already had a quiet time, and the house is relatively clean.  I can enjoy this sweet little guy sleeping in my arms--at least until my arm goes numb!

The time goes so quickly.  I know that isn't news to any of you here, and it's not news to me, either.  But this baby is my last, and I just want him to be a baby a little longer.  Yet, at the same time, I love the little boy he is becoming.  He is the happiest little guy, so full of joy in this life.  He loves his brother passionately, and is such a Daddy's boy and a Mama's boy, all at the same time.

As I sit and hold him, I can wonder--what will he be like as he grows?  What we he love passionately as a 4 year old?  What will he be begging to do? How will we encourage his uniqueness in this family?  He adds so much to it, we know that already.  He's fun-loving, active, and so friendly.  He has a little best friend at church, and he talks about her all week.   Thankfully we see them Wednesday nights, too, or he'd likely be inconsolable. 

So there are my reflections for the day.  It helps me to focus on the big picture, and not on the pain as he sleepily picks on the mole on my stomach ;)  I know, though, that these moments are short-lived, and slowly fading away, and I want to treasure them now, even as I know I will love where we're going.
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Feb. 19, 2006 - Have I decided?

I referenced in the last post a conversation with DS4, regarding the song "I have decided to follow Jesus".  After I said I follow Jesus, he said he chooses his own way. We had a great discussion about the choices we have in life.

Well, since that discussion, I've been contemplating my quick answer about following Jesus.  Yes, it's true, I am a Christian.  I have made the decision to follow Christ in my life.  I do make decisions that are based on the Bible, and on God's will for my life.  I make many choices that are clearly following Jesus in my life.

But I have been pondering those smaller choices. The choices not everyone sees.  The choices where I may not appear to be walking out of God's will, but I am.  How I choose to spend my time, specifically.  I was challenged to be following God's call on my life from Meg's great entry here.  I need to be reading my Bible.  I need to be choosing to study the Word and not just surf the web.  Two times today I did choose God's way, I did choose to follow Jesus.  It is so much more satsifying.

I just sometimes feel so overwhelmed and behind.  Behind what, I'm not sure.  Well, maybe I do.  My DH is a pastor, and during seminary, he grew by leaps and bounds.  I was in a spiritual desert the entire time he was in seminary (and perhaps a mild depression, as I look back on the time there), and I am now at such a different spiritual place.  I know it's not a contest, and I don' t have to "catch up" to him, just to be the same.  My goal should be growing spiritually, regardless of how we compare. 

Mostly, I guess, I need to let go of my excuses:  I'm too tired, too distracted, too mentally exhausted from the kids and their issues.  I'm too far behind on the daily reading, I want to spend more time than I have right now, I'll just get interrupted.  They are all excuses I give so that I can follow my own way, and not follow Jesus.

So I keep having the realizations, now I'm ready to move on!  I'm ready to start doing, not just thinking.
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Feb. 18, 2006 - Bible study with a young child--the dawn of understanding

It is so much fun to study the Bible with E (DS4).  It's refreshing to see the Bible from the view of a child, and from the view of one who hasn't (yet!) heard the stories for years.  E loves reading the Bible.  This morning, DH told him to read a passage in the Bible, and then he would ask him some questions.  He first chose a passage in Ezekiel, and read about 10 verses (silently).  DH then asked him some questions, which E was able to answer!  He next read a passage from Daniel, and again enjoyed answering questions.  It was a fun way to check reading comprehension, as well as to have some Bible lesson time. 

Our other favorite Bible study also comes from DH.  We memorize passages together as a family (The Ten Commandments, Psalm 23, Psalm 119:1-12, the Beatitudes, John 15:1-10or so, 1 Corinthians 13:1-7 so far).  E memorizes very easily just by listening to us.  So DH came up with a way to help him understand everything that we memorize.  He types it on the computer as E says the passage (from memory for older passages, by reading it for newer passages).  Then they go through together (on Microsoft Word) and highlight different themes.  For example, in Psalm 119, they've made all of the words and phrases for God's word red, and all of the B words green.  They've highlighted the you/your/yours purple, and the I/me/my yellow.  And so on.  As he starts understanding it more, we can and do change what we're asking him to observe. 

When the page is done, he gets to print it out, and he calls it his Bible picture.  It's a fun way for us to show him how we study the Bible, and learn from it.

One other spiritual development story for the day.  Yesterday in the car we were listening to a Bible songs tape, and the song "I have Decided" came on.  I said to the boys, "I have decided to follow Jesus, too!"  And E replied with, "I haven't.  I choose my own way."  What a great chance to talk about how everyone does have to choose at some point to follow Jesus, or to follow their own ways.  We talked about what it meant to follow Jesus, and how E obeys us right now, and that is following Jesus.  It was a great discussion, and I love having these spiritual dawning moments with him.
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Feb. 13, 2006 - Click!

That was the sound of me sending an e-mail with the first section of my first paid writing project ever.  I feel very nervous about it, though I know editing is normal and expected.  It's hard to put something of yours out there to be critiqued, especially after putting a lot of time, energy, and heart into it.

What is it?  I'm working with this author for a toddler activity deck.  The arrangement is perfect for me.  I do the research and the writing, she does the editing, ordering, working with the publisher and illustrator, and all other paperwork.  I get paid and get my name on the title card, she gets the rest. 

I had so much fun researching and coming up with the list of activities, and it was really fun to write them, too.  And in all honesty, it's not complicated writing.  I'm not baring my soul in these cards. But I still felt very vulnerable as I hovered over the "Send" button.

The next two weeks will be a blur of editing those I just sent, and writing the next 26.  Then I get paid (though I suppose I will have to continue to make any edits to the second set as well) and am finished with a (hopefully) successful first project.  Then maybe I'll get back to blogging more... though I'm sure I would be even more motivated if someone wanted to pay  me to write here, as well!
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Feb. 6, 2006 - Alphabet

I haven't had any posts about the little guy in a while.  DS22months is growing by leaps and bounds.  It's interesting how much more intense they were from DS4--since that is all we had to focus on!  A is now singing the alphabet, and knows most of the letters by sight (out of order), too.  He is also rote counting to 10, and can count objects at least up to 5.  He knows his shapes and colors.  He's building with Duplo blocks. 

E learned the alphabet all at once at 21 months.  I have always kind of figured A was "behind" that--still smart, of course, but not quite as intense about it.  However, he is only one month older than that. 

He loves reading books, and playing anything that E likes playing.  When E plays blocks, he wants to play alone, but A won't let him.  He's going to be so good for E's social development!

On that note, we had E's evaluation with the school district last Thursday.  It was a very nice evaluation.  They loved E--he had them completely charmed.  He clearly meets the criteria for Asperger's Syndrome, which was nice (we're all in agreement--us and the psychiatrist).  He will hopefully get into a social skills group, a small group that meets once a week for 45 minutes.  I was concerned they would recommend the autism class, which is a 5 day a week preschool, and have no other option for us.  They agreed, however, that it would not be an appropriate placement for him. 

They were also very complimentary of all the work we've done with him at home.  It was great to have that affirmation, as we're taking a different path than most in working with the Asperger Syndrome.  Since it is primarily a deficit in social language and social interaction skills, most people outside of the homeschooling community are not so supportive of homeschooling a child like E.  But these professionals felt that we were doing great.  They saw how we seek out good social situations for him, how we teach him the skills he needs, and how he has learned them so well. 

We also learned some new areas on which we can work.  Specifically continuing in imaginative play.  And of course, answering questions.  Always answering questions.  He was able to use his words, though, instead of screaming.  "I don't want to answer that question," was a frequent response from him.
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Feb. 3, 2006 - What am I eating?

***I gave this as a 5 minute "Mother's Moment" at my mom's group today, so some of the language is talking to people instead of writing to people!***

As I prepared for this reflection on how God is working in my life, it was hard to know where to start—and for me, that is a very exciting thing.  The last two weeks have been full of awakenings, revelations, and connections in my life, this after several years of living in the desert.  Desert times as a Christian can be very hard—the times that,  though I didn’t lose my faith in God’s presence, I didn’t feel it.  The times when,  though I may pray continually, it feels as if it is unanswered.  The times when,  though I continue to worship, my heart is not at rest, at peace.  The times of loneliness.

I would love to go into some more background, but it would take a long time.  I’ll say for various reasons and causes, I’ve been feeling lonely, and emotionally numb, and only in the past weeks have I even realized that.  I’ve been living in a fog, struggling to motivate myself each day; feeling overwhelmed by what faces me. I had a very similar period during the time my husband was in seminary.   I fought it then, and it just continued.  Finally, when we moved to Oakland, it lifted, and I enjoyed much growth.  Two months later, A. was born, and somewhere in there it shifted from “new baby fatigue/hormone changes” to “Spiritual desert”.  This time, though, I didn’t fight it, I just became numb to it. 

In the past two weeks, God has been so present in my life.  It started on the retreat, and has continued since then.  I’m seeing God again, not just going through the motions.  I’m feeling joy in my life, instead of the almost constant feeling of nothing that I had been experiencing. 

So how do I move forward?  After being in this pattern for nearly 2 years, and for 2 years before that, how do I prevent myself from going back?  I know that hormones and fatigue have played a role.  But at the same time, I know I have lessons to learn, and with that LONG intro, I want to share one of them with you today.  My question is:  Am I eating the right food?  Let me read Isaiah 55:1-2, from the New Living Translation:

Is anyone thirsty?  Come and drink—even if you have no money!  Come, take your choice of wine or milk—it’s all free!  Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength?  Why pay for food that does you no good?  Listen, and I will tell you where to get food that is good for the soul!

 

I’m thirsty!  I’m hungry!  I need strength.  That’s very clear.  So, what is that food that is good for the soul?  How do I get it?  In John 7:37, Jesus says, “If you are thirsty, come to me!  If you believe in me, come and drink!”, and in John 6;48, he says, “I am the bread of life!” 

Clearly, we find it in the Bible, in Jesus, and through prayer.  I know that, and I have known that for years.  However, I would daresay that most of us today can admit to having read the Bible a time or two without ever taking any of it in—reading it to check it off the list. Or praying a rote prayer while thinking of the grocery list in the back of your head.  If it is going to be food for the soul, it needs to be more than a cursory reading or a few words strung together.  The first thing I see as I look back is that the Jesus, and the Word of God haven’t been feeding me.  I’m spending my “money” on what doesn’t give me strength.

Specifically in my life, I’m spending my time money on the internet.  I have taken something that is mostly positive, and made it into what is supposed to fill my needs.  I don’t spend an excessive amount of time online.  I do have true friends I’ve met online.  I do legitimate research, and seek legitimate support.  But I'm letting that time on the internet fill me.  When I’m feeling empty, overwhelmed, tired, I’m turning to my computer.  I’m allowing it to fill parts of me that need satisfying food and drink, not food that doesn’t give me strength.  I eat at the computer, and leave it still in a fog, as if I just ate candy bars instead of a sandwich.  The satisfaction is fleeting, and I’ll have to keep eating again and again.

I want to fill up on that which satisfies me.  Now, I don’t have a three-step, guaranteed, no-fail plan.  I’m  still in the discovery stage! I do see for me right now that I need to be grazing all day.  I need constant input right now, picking up my Bible, or a devotion book, or 5 minutes in prayer, several times a day.  I get overwhelmed with 2 young kids to think about sitting down for an hour—but then I do nothing.  I need to recognize I can spend smaller amounts of time throughout my day to sustain me.  I can eat more than once a day!

 

So as I step out of my desert and into the fertile land once again, I praise God for sustaining me even when I felt overwhelmed, or alone… or even when I felt nothing at all.  And I know that I’ll feel those ways again.  But I also will be seeking to fill my body with food that satisfies me, not with food that just covers up my hungriness. 



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Feb. 1, 2006 - more christmas...

My sis emailed me today, said her box got there (yeah!) but her sugar scrub arrived broken.  OH NO!!!  I packaged them all about the same, I suppose not hte most thoroughly, I was more concerned about the scrub leaking than breaking.  Sigh.  Well, now to email everyone and let them know their gift might be broken.

In answer to a question--the science is from Real Science 4 Kids  They have several different curriculums.
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Jan. 31, 2006 - Christmas is finally over...

I finally finally got everything sent out--on January 28th, so just over a month after Christmas.  I was pleased that it wasn't March, or May, like last year!  Next year, Christmas in December! 

And I will not be making any more caramel corn for awhile, I finally got to the point where it doesn't even sound good anymore.  I ate a lot of it.  Next year, only gifts I can't eat!

I didn't wrap the gifts, though.  I was afraid if I wrapped them, they would never get sent. That and it seemed silly to wrap in Christmas paper at the end of January.  I only put a note in one box, and then I just got too tired, so everyone else will get a box with no markings on it.  I hope they figure out what it is.
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Jan. 31, 2006 - ...and not quite getting it

I recently pulled out a box of books that my  mom had sent to me, books from when we were kids.  The "Let's talk about...." series of books.  E really enjoys reading them, and I find him lost in his room with the stack all around him. 

Last night at bedtime he asked me to read "Let's talk about interrupting", while I was reading a book to DS22mo.  (we were taking turns).  I reminded him that he was interrupting me.  I started reading again, and he raised his hand and said "excuse me, can we read 'interrupting'?"  OK, he's getting closer.  I said yes, and then in the remaining short toddler book that I was reading, he interrupted me 4 more times to tell me something about the book we were going to read. 

At least it was a teachable moment!

These books are great for him, because they are so direct about social skills that he doesn't really get.  They lay it out--what the problem is, and what you should do instead.  There's a little too much of an emphasis on "don't do it because you don't want others to do it to you," but it's slight, and it didn't bother DH at all. 
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Jan. 30, 2006 - Getting it...

DS4 has been making so many little connections recently.  For the files:

We were reading the chemistry textbook (Real Science 4 Kids Pre-level chem), and it was about acids and bases.  It was teaching how an acid has an H group, and a base has an OH group.  He looked at the drawing and said:  Oh, if the H went and joined the OH, it would be water! 

This is from DH, so hopefully I relay it correctly.  They were reading a Bible story, and DH was explaining it as "we love Jesus".  E interrupted and said "but love God!" DH said "oh, Jesus is God," and E replied with this:  Oh, that's right.  God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.  Three in one. 

We really have no idea where he learned that.

This evening he looked at the clock on the stove and said "Oh, it's 5 o'clock. That also means it is 17 o'clock."

We also started learning about division in his math (Singapore 1B right now), and he really gets it.  Looking at a group of 10 objects, I asked "There are two plates.  How many would go on each plate?"  He looked at it, and then looked up at me and grinned.  Five!

We're enjoying our work together.  We finished "The Story of Dr. Doolittle", and he really enjoyed it.  We started "In Grandma's Attic", another book that makes me nostalgic, because I loved that series when I was young.  He's finding it fun, he especially thought it funny that little girls would put hoops in their dresses. 
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Jan. 11, 2006 - Unfinished Christmas

Am I the only one who still has Christmas loose ends?  OK, mine are more than loose ends.  I haven't sent out any gifts to far away family.  Now, this is not new for me--last year I sent out packages in May, I am embarrassed to say. 

As Christmas approached this year, I knew I wasn't going to be able to get it all done on time, but I thought I could be pretty close.  Well, the urgency passes, and it just keeps getting put on the back burner.  I still have to finish photo albums, and then I should be ready to send.  I say should, because I keep eating one of my gifts. 

I like to come up with homemade, personal gifts, and then give to almost everyone on my list (hmmm, is that then personal?).  Well, one of my gifts this year is homemade caramel corn. And I keep eating it!  I experimented and found a way to make it dairy and soy free, and I have always loved caramel corn.  With all of my food restrictions due to Anders' allergies, I don't have a lot of "treats".  And am I ever indulging myself now!

So, I need to get this done.  It's January 11th today.  If I persevere and put some effort into it, I should be able to have everything shipped by Saturday.  That would be amazing from my end, though still late for everyone else.  Of course, that means I have to stop eating caramel corn!
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Jan. 9, 2006 - Insomnia and sick kids

A (21 months) is still sick.  He's had a fever now for 5 days.  I made an appointment to bring him in tomorrow.  He's still hydrated, as he nurses OK (though not great), eats fruit juice homemade popsicles, and drinks water.  I am pretty sure he has the flu--he has all the respiratory symptoms, and the high fever.  But 5 days of high fever is my personal comfort level for little ones, so I want to get him checked out.

And for the second night in a row, I'm having trouble sleeping.  I know it's the fact my routine is off.  Last night E slept on the couch, and A and I slept in E's bed (A sleeps in a toddler bed otherwise).  I just missed my bed. Tonight A would only go to sleep on the couch, so I have to sleep on the floor next to him, and I miss my bed.

I'm fighting the same flu, I can feel it.  And the lack of sleep doesn't help my cause much.  Now I also have to miss MOPS tomorrow, and probably my playgroup on Wednesday.  Hopefully he'll be better for his playgroup with grampa on Thursday.

Not much to this but whining, I know.  It's so hard to see him so miserable.
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Jan. 6, 2006 - Painting planets

DS4 stayed last night with Gramma and Grampa (his regular Thursday night routine), and came home after going to the zoo today. The first words out of his mouth were "I want to paint my planets now!"  He worked very hard on it--his focus was amazing. 
 

We also had another good science day.  When I pulled down all of the books (Sonlight K) for our "reading" time, he got so excited.  He said, "I want to do Chemistry!!" So after Bible, we went straight to chemistry.  After reading chapter 1 again, and part of chapter 2 (molecules), we studied the periodic table for awhile. Then he asked for a notebook and got a marker.  He wrote "ATOMS" on the front, and started drawing.  The book uses cartoon-ish depictions of the atoms, so he drew a circle with a face and lots of appendages.  He then wrote 82 LEAD on the page.  He did 4 more pages after that, and if they were in the chemistry book we talked about how many "arms" it had--nitrogen has 3 arms, so it can join to up to 3 other atoms, but not more.


My poor little one is sick.  We had to stay home this morning from Mother's Council (a fun mother's group at a local church) because he has a fever.  This afternoon it was even up to 104.  His highest fever yet.  But he was still (mostly) happy and playing well, so we went no-meds.  He also took a good nap, and is sleeping relatively well.  He's been awake several times to nurse, but I'm glad that he has, it keeps him hydrated.  We did have fun playing with E's marble run.  I would set one up for A, and he would drop the marbles, and clap and cheer if we got it right.  He also likes to build with the blocks--E was not much of a block builder, so it's cute for me to see.

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Jan. 5, 2006 - "behind on blogging"

Can I really be behind?  If it's my blog, with no requirements, I guess it stands to reason that I can't officially be "behind".  I feel like it though, because I really do want to blog consistently.  And I avoid HSB when I feel behind. 

As with many of us, though, Christams threw me for a loop.  I wasn't stressed out, or overwhelmed, or anything, until about a week before Christmas. And then it became perfectly clear that I was sooooo far behind.  We don't make a big deal out of gifts, but I do like to make gifts for friends and family.  And suddenly, a week before Christmas, I finally thought of some good ideas.

Then my parents were here for a week--the 24th through the 31st.  And then we painted 3 rooms in our house.  And of course just the general "stuff" of life.

So, we're back into the swing of daily life here.  Yesterday we started Real Science 4 Kids PreChemistry  And yes, DS4 loves it as much as I thought he would.  We learned about atoms, and how everything is made out of atoms.  We did a simple science experiment--talking about common objects, what they look like.  Then looking at them with a magnifying glass, and seeing how sometimes we can't see the details with just our eyes.  Today we went to Chabot Space and Science Center (we go about once a week), and purchased a periodic table of the elements.  E loves it.  It plays into his need for systems of order.  I anticipate he will have the entire thing memorized in a few months' time. 

At Chabot, E also spent his own money for the first time. He got a bank and some spare change for his birthday from his grandparents.  He's mostly just played with it--putting the change in, taking it out, repeating.  It's a fun bank.   But the other day he was desperate for me to take the planets off of his ceiling so that he could play with them.  We talked about how they could break.  He told me he wanted me to buy him another one... the perfect time for me to help him start to REALLY understand money.  So we helped him out a little--he had $7 in change, and $4 from great  aunt and uncle for his birthday, the set cost $20.  But we got this set today at Chabot, and he's so excited to paint his own planets that we WON'T put on the ceiling, they are just for him to play with.  On the way out, he asked me how he could get more money in his bank.  I hadn't thought that far ahead--I dont' want to set up chores for money, because right now they do chores because we all help out around the house.  But I hadn't thought about an allowance yet, either.  Something to talk about with DH tonight.

DS21 months had his first playgroup with Grampa today.  It's a playgroup for kids 0-3, though most of them are 1 1/2 to 2 1/2.  He gets to go once a week for 2 hours with his Grampa--it's set up like a preschool for younger kids.  His first trips with Grampa.  It's hard to believe that he's that old already. E has been spending overnights with Gramma and Grampa since he was just over 2 (a month or so before A was born), and is there once a week.  But A has been my baby.  Sniff.  Well, no overnights yet as he still nurses all night long.  As that stretches longer, though, I anticipate he'll be able to spend the night before too long.

A is also busy learning the letters of the alphabet.  He loves letters--it's hard to tell if it's because he really loves letters, or if it's because E really loves letters.  It is so fun to see him want to be just like E.  And they are finally kind of playing together.  Ahh, the love of brothers.

I started a list of the words A says.  My list, far from complete, is now at over 200 words.  The funny part is--they all sound the same.  He has horrible articulation.  Like brother like brother, right?  E was really hard to understand until he was about 2 1/2 to 3.  Well, time to dust off my speech therapy bachelor's degree and put it to good use.  Yes, I know that many kids will just develop the sounds eventually.  But since this is what I did for a living, I like to play the games with my kids, too
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Dec. 22, 2005 - Discipline and the Strong-willed child

(first, it's been too long since I've updated!  I procrastinated too long, and all my Christmas preparations came due at once...)

Tonight I am up late with a sick boy.  Or up early?  I'm not sure which it is.  A (21 months now) woke up at 3 am, after vomiting in his bed.  For an hour and a half, he would nurse, fall asleep, then vomit.  I'm not sure it's worth going back to bed, as E will be awake in probably 45 minutes.

So I was posting to a board, responding to a question about a strong-willed 3 year old.  I rambled out some of my thoughts, and at some point came to a clear statement.  For my strong-willed boy (now four!), what worked was the 3 C's.

Consistent--I think most people know they need to be consistent with their kids.  With E, and with other strong-willed kids I've known, consistency becomes vital.  There can be no flex at all during the testing phases.  No changing the mind.  Just unfailing consistancy in expecatations.  It was our expectation that E would sit quietly in church (he absolutely hated the nursery, that would have been another option, he refused it).  So every time he wasn't quiet, I had to pick him up and take him out.  We'd discuss (wrong choice to be loud in church, we need to be quiet), and repeat.  Some days we took him out 4 or 5 times in one service.  But we could never let loud talking slide.  Now we can--I can quietly remind him he needs to be quiet.  But during that testing phase, no way.  It had to be reinforeced every single time.

Calm--I had always thought of myself as a pretty calm person, and patient, too. Then E entered this testing phase.  It was hard work to remain calm.  But the second I didn't, his behavior got worse.  Saying "E! PICK UP YOUR TOYS NOW!" didn't help matters.  In fact, in his strong will he was still emotionally sensitive, and it was more likely to just scare him.  But saying, in a calm voice, "E, pick up your toys now, please" was very likely to elicit a positive response.

Clear--It makes such a difference to state expectations in a clear way.  "E, you need to pick up your toys before we go out." Stop.  No cajoling, no explaining, just state what hast to be done.  In a calm voice, and then be consistent.  After he started doing what I asked, I often explained it more to him. But the explanation wasn't to get him to do it--for obedience, it just needed to be clear.  And concise, another C.

It was a rough road, and I know we'll have more challenges as we go.  But the hard work has been worth it, resulting in a polite, respectful, obedient boy, who is a lot of fun to be around. 
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Dec. 6, 2005 - Bedtime update

I was writing a long reply to a comment, so I decided to just make it an entry!

not really.  :(  Last night was better though.  I got up and nursed A 3 times, DH got up and comforted him 3 times.  Tonight I've comforted him once, havne't nursed him yet.  I'm hoping he'll respond to me in the middle of the night.

Did I mention before that he spontaneously started sleeping through the night?  He did for 2 weeks.  I was so thrilled.  It "happened" to coincide with E getting his tonsils/adenoids out.  Literally, the first night after E's surgery, A slept through the night (I do mean that loosely, he did wake up a few times, but didn't need to nurse, and DH could just pat his back for a minute).  The two weeks it took E to get back to normal sleeping patterns, A slept the same way.  I was sleeping in E's bed for most of those 2 weeks.

I thought at the time it was pure coincidence.  I suppose not literally, I did see it as a blessing. But now I truly understand it as a gift from God.  It would have been so difficult to have two children need me so intensely in the night--E was still nursing then.  God graced me with a reprieve from A's needs.  Now we're working on nightweaning in the more gradual way that I had expected to do.

I'm so thankful for that gift, and for the hope it gives me now--A can sleep through the night, and he will get there again.  Not tonight, obviously, as he's just waking up again.... Thank you, Lord, for giving me strength.
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Dec. 6, 2005 - Ramblings on the day

I don't know what I'm going to title this one.  I don't even know what I'm going to say, which is rare for me.  It seems that most of the time I get the idea of what to write, and then sit down and it all pours out. Tonight I'm not so inspired, but I wanted to blog anyway.

We had a fun day.  It started off with  me thinking there was MOPS, so getting us all out of the house, in record time and completely put together.  We got there (a 20 minute drive), I got us out of the car, Anders in the sling... and then I realized that MOPS was the second Tuesday of the month, not the first. 

It turned out to be a great mistake, though.  On non-MOPS days, we go to the library for storytime.  Since it starts later than MOPS, we had quite a bit of extra time.  So we went to a park near the library, and played for a long time.

I admit, I don't take my boys to the park enough. E is not a natural "player".  Or maybe, the issue is that he needs a lot of interaction to have fun at the park. I want to be able to go to the park, and sit down on the bench and read a book while the boys play.  OK, I recognize that it isn't really a realistic vision when my kids are 4 and closing-in-on-2.  But being at the park normally just makes me feel so tired.  And DH had been taking the boys to the park every afternoon while I cooked dinner, so I didn't have any guilt about never getting there. With the time change and very short days, though, they haven't been going.  The best time to go to the park really is in the morning.

Today we had a great time.  And it is a very fun park.  Storytime isn't until 10:30, so I'm going to add stopping in at this park before storytime to my schedule.  It felt so good to get out with them, and just be active.  E really needs us to model for him that it's important, even if you'd rather be reading.  And A just loves playing. 

It probably helped that last night we were responsible and went to bed at 10ish, instead of staying up until closer to midnight.  When I'm tired, I just don't function as well.  Last night I told DH that though he may do OK by staying up late and taking a nap in the afternoon, I don't take naps well, so I do not thrive when I'm that overtired.  I can function, but my boys don't get my full energy.  I also find my times with God suffer, because I just can't focus for very long at a time.  So I asked him to do it for me--go to bed early, that is.  If he's "stuck" watching TV, then I am to motivate him to go to bed.  If I'm stuck on the computer, then he is to motivate me.  We just need to get back into the pattern of a regular, consistent bedtime.  Of coure, tonight he went to bed early because he's not feeling well.  But I'm going to be wise and go to bed at 10, even without him to motivate me!

We also got to go to the Lawrence Hall of Science today.  It's not E's favorite science museum locally (that honor belongs to Chabot Space and Science Center), but he likes it.  A adored the Big Dinos Return exhibit that is currently there.  Reconstructed dinosaurs roaring and moving.  E can't even look at them, A wanted to stay there forever.  A dilemna with only one mom!

I also got a new math book:  Family Math.  It looks like a great book to add more hands-on to our math.  I have done a lot of hands-on with the early math skills, but E is beyond that, so I needed some fresh ideas.  I actually wanted to get Family Math for Young Children, so I could do more of the activities with A, too, but I grabbed without thinking.  Tomorrow we are doing the first activity in the book, called "On the Dot".  The goal is to cement quantity knowledge (knowing that saying 4 means 4 things), but we'll use it for multiplication, counting by 4s practice for E, and quantity for A.  My biggest problem with the book is that we can't use beans as counters, because A is allergic to legumes.  Pennies?  Buttons?  I haven't decided yet.
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Keeping up--with my boys as they learn about their world; with my responsibilities at home; with my growth in God.

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