Welcome to our family's blogging home - where I share life beyond our red door! I hope that you will enjoy your visit with us.
Today's Verse
Leave a Message
Things That Make Me Smile
Seeing the kids reading their Bibles on their own
Hearing the ocean
Smelling a cake baking
Remembering our wedding day
Singing in the church choir
Shopping for my family
Feeling good
Reading in the tub
A quiet house
Watching a funny movie with the kids
Seeing my kids playing a game together
Ron's little finger dance
Hearing my kids being excited about church
Watching Ron play with Faith (our dog)
Hearing Ron snoring beside me after he has been gone on a long trip
Chatting with special friends
Feeling hot sand under my feet on a beach somewhere
Game night with Brian & Kim and kids
Spending one on one time with Kim
Double Dating With Brian and Kim
A clean house
Sitting on my front porch in my new rockers
Walking on a cool evening with my family
Losing weight
Seeing my kids make a great play on the soccer field
About The Hunters
My dear sweet hubby, Ron, and I have been married for 20+ years. We began dating during my freshman year at Free Will Baptist Bible College in Nashville. He is my college sweetheart. We have ministered together in various ministries during our lives together. We pastored for 10 years in Florida. We moved to TN in 2000 to Co-Pastor with some friends of ours. The Lord has given me a fabulous provider whom I love more than any words I write could ever express. He is now the CEO at our denomination's publishing company, Randall House Publications. I am honored to support him.
Our oldest child is named Michael. He is now officially a teenager, although I don't think I'm old enough to have a teenager. He is a very sweet and considerate young man. He is my thinker and my reader. He absorbs every piece of new information that he comes across. He loves playing soccer, riding his bike, skateboarding, reading, watching the History Channel, the Military Channel, ESPN and any documentary on TV. I am privileged to be his Mother.
Lauren is our youngest child. She is just 15 months behind her brother in age. She is wise beyond her years. She has a sharp-witted tongue (which sometimes has to be tamed), a quick sense of humor and a heart for people and animals. She loves organizing anything and everything. She loves being with her friends, singing, talking on her cell phone and playing soccer. I am blessed to be her Mother.
Just the knowledge that a good book is awaiting one at the end of a long day makes that day happier.
- Kathleen Norris
I was trying to figure out what I wanted to blog about. Nothing was really jumping out at me until I was reading my new Today's Christian Woman magazine. (Thx for the subscription MIL-of-the-Year! I luv it) Anyway, my mind was drawn to a little list that they published about the secrets of successful couples.
I have noticed all around me this year that friends have been struggling in their marriages. Some have separated. Some are working through their issues. Our church recently attended a Wonderful Weekend To Remember Marriage conference. A LARGE group of couples from church went. Now, whether they went because they were at a point of breaking up or they went as just a tune up for their marriage I don't know. It's not important that I do know. What I am most proud of is that they went! They saw the importance of receiving help from a Christian organization to tune up their relationships with one another. Next to parenting teenagers being married is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Once you say "I do" does not by any stretch of the imagination mean that it's smooth sailing from there. That's just the beginning. Learning to love in spite of faults, failures, hang ups, annoyances, selfishess and pride is the hardest ONGOING lesson that I am learning. You have to go into a marriage with success on the brain - declaring that divorce is NOT an option. YOu have to understand and remind yourself OFTEN that your spouse is NOT your enemy - he/she is your partner. You're in this together. "What God has joined together let no man put asunder", "Til death do us part", "I promise to love, honor and cherish as long as I shall live" - those are vows that each of us make before our spouse, our friends/family and most of all, before God. They are just words then but they must grow to be a lifestyle that evolves into a deeper commitment day in and day out. That's not easy!!
This little blurb in the magazine offered some helpful tips to use. I wanted to share them in the hopes that some little something will jump out and encourage someone to stick it out - give it a go - not give up - on their marriage.
5 Secrets of Successful Couples
1. There's value in just showing up. When things get tough, hang in there for your spouse.
2. Approach problems from a new angle. If you don't, you'll find that doing what you always do brings the same results.
3. Resist the grass is greener myth. Instead put your energy into making your marriage better. Grass is greenest where you water it.
4. Don't quit when it gets tough. A crisis is like a storm: loud, scary, and dangerous. But to get through a storm, you have to keep driving.
5. Fight the battle between your ears. Resist holding grudges and bringing up the past. The most successful couples live by the motto: Forget and let it go.
(Mitch Temple, from The Marriage Turnaround (moody))
Last week I posted the first five of the 10 Commandments of Marriage. Here is the second set of five. This article also reviews the first five so you don't have to look back.
Ten Commandments for Husbands and Wives
Part 2
Last week we gave you the first 5 of the Ten Commandments for Husbands and Wives as shared by Elisabeth Elliot, with comments of our own in [brackets]. This week we'll begin by giving the first 5 we gave last week (you'll have to look at last week's message to get the additional comments) and then we'll share numbers 6-10, with additional comments included. Cindy and I believe that if we, as couples, lived by these commandments, our marriages would be a lot stronger and richer. We hope you gain from them as we have.
TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR MARRIAGE:
1. RESPECT THE IMAGE OF GOD IN THE OTHER PERSON.
2. REMEMBER THAT GOD HAS GIVEN YOU A GIFT IN YOUR SPOUSE.
3. LOVE ALWAYS MEANS SACRIFICE.
4. RELINQUISH YOUR "RIGHTS."
5. LET EACH ESTEEM THE OTHER BETTER THAN HIM/HERSELF.
6. PRAY FOR EACH OTHER AND WITH EACH OTHER. [We aren't only to pray together at meal times. That's important, but as we pray for and with each other at various times, our relationship grows all the deeper. We've sure found that to be true in our own marriage. God has a way of uniting us all the more as we pray together. "There's nothing that makes us love someone as much as prayer for him [her]" (William Law).
Concerning praying for each other, we want you to know about an interesting book we just discovered. It's titled, "The Marriage Prayer: A Prescription to Change the Direction of your Marriage" by Patrick Morley, published by Moody Publishers. They give you a 14 Day Marriage Prayer Challenge to pray for your spouse. Here's what they say on their web site: "Prayer changes things because God answers prayer. Everyone knows couples ought to pray for one another -- but many actually do it. Take the 14-Day Marriage Prayer Challenge. Here's a next step any person could take to build a better marriage. Print out a copy of the Marriage Prayer and pray it for the next 14 days."
That sounds simplistic, because we know of people who have been praying and crying their hearts out for years, and they have seen little change ...YET! We say YET because you never know what God still is going to do. It may be that you need to P.U.S.H. -- in which you: Pray Until Something Happens. (We have an article on our web site at www.marriagemissions.com which explains this a bit more.) If that means that you P.U.S.H. for one day, 14 days or 14 years... we hope you will persevere to do so.
The prayer this book and the web site challenge you to pray is simple, yet profound. Husbands, here is what you would pray: "Father, I said 'til death do us part' -- I want to mean it. Help me to love you more than her and more than anyone or anything else. Help me to bring her into your presence today. Make us one, like you are three-in-one. I want to hear her, cherish her, and serve her so she would love you more and we can bring you glory. Amen."
Wives, here is what you would pray: "Father, I said 'til death do us part' -- I want to mean it. Help me to love you more than him and more than anyone or anything else. Help me bring him into your presence today. Make us one, like you are three-in-one. I want to hear him, support him, and serve him so he would love you more and we can bring you glory. Amen."
We hope you will take up the challenge (and don't end it in just 14 days). Pray FOR each other and WITH each other and see what GOD will do.]
7. NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY. [See Ephesians 4:26-27 and Psalm 4:4, where God tells you to do this. We all need reminders not to allow bitterness to take root (see: Hebrews 12:14-15). Hopefully your husband or wife will agree with you to live out this "commandment" for the health of your relationship. If he/she won't, ask God to help YOU to do what you can, so bitterness doesn't take root in your own heart. Keep in mind the saying, "Anytime we reconcile, it's a picture of what God wants to do with man."
Love aims at unity (it's a great goal to TRY to aim for). "Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs" (1 Corinthians 13:5).]
8. WHENEVER YOU'RE WRONG, ADMIT IT. WHENEVER YOU'RE RIGHT BE QUIET. ["The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit" (Proverbs 15:4). "If you have played the fool and exalted yourself, or if you have planned evil, clap your hand over your mouth! For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife" (Proverbs 30:32-33). "Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips" (Proverbs 27:2).]
9. KEEP SIGHT OF YOUR PLACE IN GOD'S ORDER. [God can work in wonderful ways when we view our role in marriage as completing each other rather than competing with one another. Again, remember that love "is not self-seeking." Read Hebrews 10:24 and then look for ways in which you can encourage and help your spouse "to love and good deeds."]
10. BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR VOW. [Be a promise keeper -- not a promise changer or a promise breaker.
I (Cindy) saw an advertisement on television that said, "The rules have changed." Unfortunately, in marriage, many couples are living as if the rules have changed. But the reality is that God's rules haven't. They were the same yesterday. They are the same today, and they will be the same tomorrow as well. The marriage vow is still to be honored even if our spouse doesn't keep up with his/her side of the vows. As God tells us through the Bible, "Let our yes be yes, and our no be no." ]
Our prayer for you is that God will speak to your hearts to show you how to love one another "as unto the Lord." We pray you'll look for ways to out-serve and bless each other and make God's ways your ways in how you live out your married lives as a living testimony to the glory of God.
This is the Marriage Missions article for this week. I hope that it challenges you and encourages you in your marriage relationship.
Ten Commandments for Marriage
For the next two weeks we will be concentrating on ten principles that we believe will help strengthen your marriage if you embrace and use them. They are titled "The Ten Commandments for Marriage" and were originally put together by Elisabeth Elliot, who is a former missionary, writer, radio broadcaster, and most importantly, a woman of God. We will be adding comments of our own contained within [brackets]. We pray you will find them inspiring and helpful. TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR MARRIAGE:
1. RESPECT THE IMAGE OF GOD IN THE OTHER PERSON. [This other person Elisabeth was referring to, is of course, your spouse. Your spouse may not always allow God's image to shine and bless your marital relationship, but he or she was originally created that way (see Genesis 1:26), and deep within, there are at least remnants in there somewhere. If you can't immediately see God's image within your spouse, ask God to help you to see with His eyes, rather than yours, and then search for them as if looking for gold.
As author Gary Smalley said, "How would you treat your spouse if you saw them as being autographed by God?" Would you value them more? Would you try harder to understand and help them? Respect the image of God in your spouse and see what God can do in and through the efforts you put forth. You will be blessed for it by God Himself.
"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another, be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing" (1 Peter 3:8-9).]
2. REMEMBER THAT GOD HAS GIVEN YOU A GIFT IN YOUR SPOUSE. [Some gifts bring immediate joy and others enrich our lives in ways that we don't immediately see or appreciate -- others bring both immediate and eventual benefits. This can be true of your spouse. You may love him or her right from the start, which brings you immediate joy, yet once the honeymoon stage is over you wonder what good you could ever enjoy in your relationship again. But God can use even those times to move us to grow stronger in character, which will bring eventual benefits.
"Marriage is not a lifeless institution! Nor does it simply contain the lives of the male and female who enter into it. Marriage is a vehicle, fueled by the life of God. It has a driver -- the Holy Spirit. It has a destination -- the character of Jesus Christ" (Dr Tony and Kim Moore, from the book, "Your Spouse is not Your Problem"). "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4).]
3. LOVE ALWAYS MEANS SACRIFICE. [Jesus Himself set the example for us all in laying down His life for us. "Be imitators of God, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God" (Ephesians 5:1-2). "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21). Ask yourself how you you can apply these verses in your marriage.]
4. RELINQUISH YOUR RIGHTS. [That's a really tough one, especially in today's "me first" world, because we can get lured into thinking that our "rights" and our happiness is what's most important. But Jesus Christ also lived in a tough world and still, He gave up His rights for the betterment of others, including you and your spouse. It is an example for us all to follow.
Read Philippians 2:5-8 and in it you can see where Christ Himself, who had every right there ever could be to put Himself first, emptied Himself of all that would stand in the way of showing His love for us, to the glory of God. We're told to have this same attitude. In doing so, others around will notice that the love you show isn't like that which the "world" gives.
"Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us" (1 Peter 2:12).]
5. LET EACH ESTEEM THE OTHER BETTER THAN HIM OR HERSELF. [This is an area that we really see lacking in most married couples. Philippians 2:3-4 says to "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should not look only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
That's a tough thing to do. It comes natural to want to put my (Cindy's) interests above my husband Steve's. But it goes back to remembering that God has entrusted me to be His colleague in showing love to my husband. That doesn't mean that I'm to erase my own opinions or interests. But it does mean that I'm not to let my own selfish ambitions take over and erase or downplay the importance of Steve's. In God's economy, I'm to value my spouse's needs over my own.]
Every one of these "commandments" are difficult to carry out. But they are worth the results if you take them seriously. It's like what John Burke said in the Foreword of the book, "Just How Married Do Your Want to be?" He said, "Marriage is easy... if you're a perfect person married to another perfect person! For the rest of us imperfect people, marriage feels a lot more like God's Gym. We all want health and fitness and loving strength, but as we soon realized after getting married nineteen years ago, this doesn't come without training and hard work. Most couples today put more effort into staying in shape physically than training to be a partner that can make love last."
We pray you will put forth more effort in making your marriage as healthy as it can be than in anything else that could distract you from this noble cause. Because marriage is a living picture of Christ's love for the church to a world that needs to know His resurrection power, it is worth every effort you put into it to show your faith and love in action. In doing so you are communicating the Word with and without words.
"Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ" (2 Peter 1:5-8).
Take voice lessons
Lose 100 pounds
Take a yearly vacation with just my girl friends
Break completely free from the strongholds that have a grip on me
Find a hair style that I'm totally happy with
Become a great grandmother
Live on the beach
Drive a racecar on the race track
Learn to swim confidently
Go sky-diving
Learn to knit
Scrapbook our family's life
Build a house with an inground pool
Own my own laptop
Visit Alaska
See the REAL Eiffel Tower
Take a short term family missions trip
Own a black Jaguar X-Type car
Be a REAL wife/mom who cooks/cleans and everything
Have Lasix Surgery
Bungee Jump
