Do you ever have a bad attitude and know it?  I did yesterday.

I was supposed to make a large batch of cut-out gingerbread-man-type sugar cookies for a big missions emphasis we were doing last night with our children at church.  I knew about it way ahead of time, but my week has been rather busy and I hadn't had any time to make them ahead of time.  Besides, they are better eaten the day they are baked.  I asked a dear friend to decorate the cookies for me since I knew I would really be short on time since I, you know, homeschool. 

I guess my frustration came in the feeling that I felt like some people think that because I homeschool my whole day is pretty much free to work on hobbies, etc.  I also whined that the preacher's wife has to do EVERYTHING.  Bwahahaha!  Can't you just hear me? 

Really the truth is that I volunteered to do this probably a month ago.  I wanted to help out in this really neat project.  My real frustration was in my own self.  I felt like I just couldn't get it all done and I resented that I was not enjoying this task.  (Also, my kitchen was a mess which makes it hard to do sugar cookies and my children all wanted to eat lunch -- imagine! and I was behind on some school projects that I wanted to do with them and our printer collapsed ruining several school-related things.)  I realized that the real problem was that I had expectations that my day was going to run smoothly and be organized and joyful and things were not working that way at all.

My poor husband listened to me gripe (not much, because these children are EVERYWHERE :)).  Finally after a poor hour or so brooding and pouting and slamming, I heard God's voice speaking to me pretty clearly.  Wow, that is so humbling.

This is what my heart heard:

"You are not doing this for her or for him or for even your husband or your children or the children at church who will learn about ministering to people all over the world (how cool is that?).  You are doing this for me, your God and your Savior."

Do I whine and pout and stomp around when my Lord Jesus Christ asks me to do something?  I told my husband that I was just TOO busy and I needed to drop out of things.  He said I should only do what the Lord wants me to do.  I asked him in a whiny voice, "But how can I know what that is?  EVERYBODY wants me to do SOMETHING."  He wisely didn't answer, letting me have time to think about it.

This is what I thought:

"Whatever ou do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving."  (italics mine) (Colossians 3:23-24)

It doesn't matter what I do, or who asks me to do something or why they asked me.  I am working for the Lord Jesus Christ.  He is my Master and my Boss. 

And yesterday I was a poor "employee" and child.  He asks me to give him my life and I want him to take all of me.  Lord, forgive me for taking my life back and whining about what you have given me to do.  Forbid that I would only do what I want to do, like a spoiled child.  Mold me to your desires and wishes.  Teach me, and stretch me.  Make me into the servant you want me to be.  Please give me a heart that joyfully and willingly does whatever I can.