My crew is all out and about working at various jobs.  Oldest son at home and #3 son are mowing and doing yardwork for an elderly couple down the road.  Hubby and daughter and youngest son are going to Granny's to mow and do yardwork and check on Pa in the nursing home.  And I am here.....alone.

It's strange being in this house all alone.  I feel strange and it is SO quiet.  Even though my kiddos are getting older and are sometimes in their rooms with the doors shut reading or listening to Chronicles of Narnia CDs or playing with Legos, just their presence in this house gives it a different feel.  I know they are not here and I am somehow strangely sad.

It reminded me of a conversation with my sister in which she was relating to me friends who cannot wait for their children to get back into school.  I've heard it many times from others.  I can NEVER relate.

For one, my children have never been in school and I have not cultivated that "alone" feeling.  I suppose silence and loneliness are things you get used to and maybe like once you get there, but I have never had that as part of my experience.

For two, I LOVE my children and love being with them.  They truly complete my life.  I feel like a part of me is missing when they are gone.  I have gotten used to my oldest being gone and married (a good thing), but I still feel like we are missing someone around here.  I guess I always will.

I know there will come a day when I will be more alone than I am right at this stage of my life.  And I suppose I will find joy and fulfillment there.  But I don't crave it.  I like my life of busy children and lots to do.  I like talking and having someone answer.  I even like breaking up disagreements and cleaning up messes.

There is really someone else here even when I am alone.  "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.  So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?'" (Hebrews 13:5-6)  The beauty in solitary times is that my God is my friend, my helper and my constant companion.  He will always be here and that will never, ever change.  Ahh, what a relief!