Dade Avenue Academy - Priorities

Jan. 13, 2006 - Priorities

Today was a wake-up call for me. Just as we settled down to get a good morning of learning in, my aunt called and wondered if they could come for lunch. Now, I had planned to call them and invite them for supper, but she beat me to it and couldn't come in the evening so they were supposed to come around 11:00. OK, I thought, we'll get some school done. Then I realized I had no bread to go with the soup I needed to make. And I needed to go pick up my sister because they have only one vehicle right now and my aunt and uncle wanted to see her.

So, as I'm stuck in our city's snowbird-swelled traffic, I realize that I need to STOP answering the phone while we're doing school. I need to put my school message back on the machine and not answer, regardless of who it is. My own dear children are also begging for uninterrupted school time, so you know it must be really bad.

I really hate to be a 'hard and fast' rule kind of person (mostly because people act surprised and angry, guess I don't do it often enough) but I'm gonna have to stick with this.

I'm also going to have to stop taking my Grandma's calls so often, which will make her really angry--all part of her increasing dementia. I could sit down with her and explain it all sweetly, but she'll have forgotten it by tomorrow. I'm hoping that she'll not call my cell phone all day, either. I need prayer for this issue because I'm at the end of myself, knowing that I shouldn't have taken this on, but not being able to lay it down because of her dementia. She has an aide 4 hours a day, but I do her pills, paperwork and coordinating her care--when she lets me. Many of my friends tell me that I shouldn't do it, but my guilt tells me I should, my husband doesn't know how we could not do it so late in the game. I'm just praying that God will reveal to me what exactly is my responsibility in this situation. She's always been manipulating and difficult, increasing as time goes on. She's my grandfather's 3rd wife and was rude and snobby to my mother and my family when I was a kid. I've been helping her for almost 5 years and let her manipulate me a lot of that. My children resent her very much, and when the phone rings in the middle of the night, we all want to run away.

So....I am thinking about priorities. When emergencies (Grandma, business, my own dc, husband, sister) seem to be constant, how do I keep on with normal life and school responsibilities. How long can this stuff keep happening? I'm praying that God will give me a specific plan to streamline my life so I can nurture and educate my dc--no matter what comes up.

Praying for a peaceful day for all of us.

Holli

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Comments

Jan. 13, 2006 - Prayed for you Holli!

It sounds like you have a lot to think about and maybe some shifting of priorities. I'm sure it won't be easy. So I prayed for you! Keep us posted!

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Jan. 13, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Have you ever heard of the book Boundaries by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend? It addresses this very thing! I have found it a very FREEING book.

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Jan. 14, 2006 - Boundaries--a great book

I've read Boundaries, and it definately applies to this. The only problem is that she will not remember the boundaries. I'm going to have to leave a message on the answering machine reminding her (and everyone else) that we're learning and can't talk right then. A friend suggested yesterday that we get another line for business so that builders who call wouldn't get the "we can't talk right now" message. I have Vonage, and very cheap to get another line, so that's definately an option.

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Jan. 29, 2006 - Untitled Comment

hollsi, I know what you mean about the interruptions. One phone call, even if it is just 5 or 10 minutes can spoil a whole "working" day, because their is usually some sort of follow up after the call. For the most part, I have my kids trained - they are not allowed to answer the phone during school hours. Period. On occasion, my 9yo dd 'forgets', but she gets an earful afterwards! Even if I am expecting a call, I will let the caller leave a voice mail, and just listen as soon as I can. It DOES make a huge difference.

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