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Living Life By Design
Thursday, March 29, 2007
The Just-Say-No! Card
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! I got kicked in the rear end and it HURTS! How?
To tell you the truth, I'm kicking myself. Want to know why?
Alright, I'll tell you.
An opportunity presented itself to make a little extra dough, which sounded great for the upcoming homeschooling conference. And it's doing what I love and what I'm (professionally) best at. No biggie, right?
Wrong!
I forgot one, minute detail. My emotions. When I do something, I throw ALL of me into it. I prefer to do something with excellence or I don't want to sign my name to it.
So here I am with this project that is SO interesting and challenging and fun. And here are these children who are so interesting and challenging and fun. And our homeschooling schedule and projects which are so interesting and challenging...well, you get the picture. There are only 24 hours in a day (can Congress change that?). And I messed up. What's worse, I know EXACTLY where I messed up.
See, the last 2-3 years, I've been using Proverbs 31:16 as my gauge for adding new things to my docket. I've read -- as have most of us -- Proverbs 31 about a zillion times. I got past the part of it being an "expectation" and now it's just a "goal" to which I strive with excellence and no condemnation to work toward as God perfects me according to his will and purpose until the coming of Christ Jesus.
But Proverbs 31:16 in the Amplified version actually gave me MORE freedom than I could ever imagine. Having no problem saying, "No," when asked to do something, I didn't think I needed this freedom. Check this out, though.
She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it
[expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties
by assuming other duties];
with her savings [of time and strength]
she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard.
(italicized emphasis mine)
Did you catch that? It's a Just Say No Card! Before I decide to add something to my life (activity, freelance gig, bible study, ANYTHING), I have to assess if it is going to cause me to neglect my present duties (wife, mom, homemaker, friend). Wait, read it again...not just cause me to neglect my present duties, but court neglect of them; in other words, will I put myself in a position to be wooed by the new thing? Will running the bible study cause me to get so wrapped up in the prayer burden of the study-mates that I neglect the prayer responsibility I have for my children? If I take this freelance gig, will I yield over so much of my free time that it makes me irritable to my family and neglectful of kitchen and laundry? Hmmmmmmmm....
And I know better. I thought I knew better. And here's where I really did it...I usually ask my super-hubby before I take on a gig. And I didn't this time. I usually ask him specifically, "Am I going to be neglecting something that I haven't thought of if I do this?" Matter of fact, I asked that of him about 2 months ago when someone asked me to help out with child care at a church event. He said, "No way, you just had a baby, it's enough just trying to get the family there on time." And I listened. I could have done it, but could I have done it and maintained peace in my heart and home (Col 3:15)?
HECK-E-NO!
Obviously, I didn't know better. The money to buy "stuff" that would help us have a "better" school seemed like a good deal (given, the project grew beyond original plan...inevitables of life that I didn't account for). And now I'm longing for a day with no thought of the freelance gig and time to just sip tea and sit on the sofa with my man-cubs and read and color and discover life together.
I courted neglect. Hmmph...and I'm kicking myself for it. I told my super-hubby tonight that I'm done freelancing; he's not allowed to let me talk myself into anymore freelance stuff. The money is not worth the guilt of neglecting my present duties.
This blog will be my altar of sorts to remind of this place.
If you are considering something, I encourage you, please...consider that new field and ensure that it will yield a savings of time and strength. You are a prudent woman...do not court neglect of your present duties.
It just ain't worth it!
[please comment to let me know I'm not the only one who's ever done this..]
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Friday, March 30, 2007 - Untitled Comment
I've learned to not only say no, but now I LIKE saying so NO! aaahhh, the freedom :0)