I know there are people out there with worse problems, but I'm asking you guys to please pray for me. I'm getting very discouraged.
I have done so well without any medicine since September. Then, two weeks ago Sunday, I was on the way to the grocery store and something happened in my abdomen and it felt like someone had put in a knife and began twisting it around (this was around when I was ovulating, but the pain was much worse than just ovulation...). I actually had to turn around and go home, couldn't go to the store, and had to walk in hunched over because I couldn't stand up straight. It was awful.
Since then, I've just felt generally bad. Part of that is because I'm depressed from having to take the medicine again, which I said I would never do again, so I'm upset at needing it. I'm also upset at the fact that I shouldn't get better, then worse again.
Last week on Tuesday I pulled a muscle (or muscles) in my shoulder area and it hurt to use my right arm until yesterday.
So this morning I decided to get up early, get my "I can do this" attitude back, take a shower, clean house, and start school again tomorrow (I've felt too bad the past couple of weeks to do much so the children have been working independently on schoolwork). I went up to take my shower, found I had started my period, took my shower, and I stayed in a long time because my legs are hurting real bad this morning (and have been for two weeks) so I was letting the hot water run down my spine. When I finished and started drying off, I bent over to dry my legs and something "popped" in my lower back - around the area where it always hurt the most due to clots. This is right in the center of my spine. So I was bent over in the shower - not able to stand up straight and not able to squat down any further....
I stood like that until the pain stopped enough for me to dry off and get dressed. I hobbled downstairs and e-mailed Chris to please come help me, which he is. Now I'm posting this because I can't do much else since it hurts to move my legs. It is difficult to do school well, write, clean or do much of anything else when I can't move without pain.
In other words, it's not just the pain that is depressing me, but the fact that it seriously interferes with my LIFE!!!
... Maybe that's the problem... I do see it as MY life, but truly as a Christian I realize I've given my life to God. I have been so blessed in many ways - being able to stay at home with the children, the ability and freedom to homeschool, being able to write books and have them published, having a great husband, and so much more, but I just wish I didn't have to worry about this ONE thing. Chronic pain affects so many other areas of your life. It's frustrating. I'm not happy about this.
Sonya
Comments
Dec. 3, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Michelle32
I have chronic pain issues to and I understand your frustration with the way it just takes away from being able to DO simple daily things. Praying for a return to stability and ability to function well!
Michelle32
Dec. 3, 2007 - Hello
Posted by Jocelyndixon
Ok, well, I figure I better leave you another comment... I emailed you last week or so, and haven't heard back so I am wondering if it went into spam again?
please lmk.
Thanks!
Jocelyn
Dec. 5, 2007 - Sonya
Posted by JacqueDixonSoulRestES
I am praying for you this week. I am sorry you are going through this again. God has a plan. I am praying his best for you and yours.
Also... I blogged a bit about The List last week, but I didn't do it justice. So, I blogged more today:
http://homeschoolblogger.com/JacqueDixonSoulRestES/439492/
blessings~ j