In the book Language Development: From Two to Three (1991), Lois Bloom compared conversation to a game of catch.  Growing up, I was introduced to a game actually called "Conversation Catch" that revolutionized the way I, as a person with Asperger's, handled conversations.  Now, 20 years later, it is the central part of Social Skills training in our home.  I've had so many discussions about this game on Delphi Forums AS community that I feel the need to post a description of the basic game and all of my variations here.

Here, then is the general framework of the game:

"A conversation is like a game of catch.  One person introduces a topic and, like a ball, throws it in the air.  The other person, if interested, catches the topic and adds their comment or question.  The conversation, like a game of catch, will contnue as long as both continue to take turns and add their part to the game."  Use an actual nerf ball to give the needed visual and hands-on approach.

When playing this game with my children, I find the first step is simply to identify the need.  Is the goal to teach turn-taking in conversation?  To end interrupting?  To keep conversations on topic?  I've used this game to teach all of this and more, introducing a variation to demonstrate the problem in a visual and hands-on manner.  The second step then, is to figure out how to demonstrate the problem within the game.  You may want to test the idea with another adult before introducing it to the children to make sure it works as you imagined it.

Once children have been introduced to the basic game, I like to throw my pre-planned variation in there.  If teaching children not to interrupt, for instance, during the child's turn I walk up and grab the ball, making my own comment.  As all changes are greeted with a moment of shock and "that's not in the rules", I am able to use the situation as a springboard for discussion.  Allowing the child to define the problem and relate it to conversations himself in a Socratic-style discussion works best for both my son and daughter.  Even better results are gained when he is able to verbalize the solution on his own!

Here are some of the skills I have taught using "Conversation Catch" and the variations I have introduced.  Feel free to post a comment or email me if you have used it in other ways or would like to see a specific variation added.

• Monologuing- stop turn taking, keep the ball and keep talking
• Interrupting- grab the ball as mentioned above
• Off topic/Special interests- ignore the ball and let it bounce past you
• Eye contact- look away as a child is talking, catching the ball at the last minute
• "Sneak attack" conversations- walk past the child with the ball hidden, then pop it at the child with a sudden, unexpected comment
• larger conversations- once a child has mastered 2 person conversations, add a sibling!

All of these skills can be difficult for a child with autism or Asperger's.  Seeing them in this game makes them much easier to master.  Ideally, the game should be played at least once a week until a particular skill is mastered.  After that I like to put the game away for a month so it is always fresh and new.  Even after a skill is mastered, it is good to bring it out in the game once in a while to keep skills sharp.