Driving for the victory

• Mar. 5, 2006 - Bye Grandma

It is 6:30 AM and I have been up for 2 hours.  Little Brother finally caught what the other kids had a couple of days ago.  He came in at 4:15 to tell us he had thrown up and could he sleep with us.  I told him no, but he could sleep in the living room, then proceeded to get up so DH could sleep, since he is taking the other 3 to church this morning.   Little Brother fell back to sleep after about a half hour, but I couldn't.  I started thinking (I know that is a scary thing ) about my grandmother.  I never knew my mom's mom, so my dad's mom has always been my only grandma.  We would go up every year to see her and Grandpa in Maine.  I would talk to Grandma, but not like I could talk to Grandpa.  Grandma and Grandpa went to live with my aunt and uncle about 8 years ago after realizing that they could no longer care for their themselves and their house.  Grandpa died about 3 years ago and Grandma really hasn't been the same since.  She and Grandpa had been married 63 years.  I can't imagine being with someone that long.  Well, now it is Grandma's turn.  She is 96 and has reached the end of her life. She went to the hospital last week because her breathing was slow.  The doctors said that there was nothing they could do, that it was just what happens as you get old and die.  They sent her home since there was nothing they could do and she wants to die at home. She has been doing okay for the past few days, and seems to have gotten nicer since she found out she was dying.  We haven't gone to see her.  It is 4 hours one way and she can only handle one or maybe two people at a time.  That makes things tough with 4 kids.  Frankly there is nothing we could do anyway.  I am very much a pragmatist when it comes to death.  There is nothing I can do for Grandma and the last thing my aunt and uncle need is 6 people showing up at their house. I did call the other day to see how my aunt and uncle were doing.  My mom gives me the "Grandma updates" so I didn't need to find out how she is doing.  I can't help the dying, but I can help the living.  My aunt is doing okay, all things considered and thought it was very kind of me to call.  We will go up in the spring for the memorial service and pay our respects then.  I wonder sometimes why God does what He does.  My grandma is in her late 90's and is nearing the end of her life slowly. She is using her remaining time to talk to her children and settle her affairs.  I don't know if she is a Christian, but I do know that she was willing to see a pastor in the hospital "as long as he doesn't preach".  I have never heard Grandma talk about God at all so where she stands is a mystery.  So why does my grandma get to live such a long life, but someone like Melissa doesn't.  I had never heard of Melissa before her death, but from what I have read, she sounds like someone who had everything to live for and many who she encouraged and loved.  Why should her life be cut so short?  Why should that baby have no mother?  I don't understand.  It just doesn't make sense. I know that God does everything for a reason and that His ways are not our ways.  I will miss my grandma, but her death makes sense.  She is very old and her body has reached the end of its endurance.  She has had full life and lived to see 4 great-grandchildren.  I guess it is the pragmatist in me that wants everything to make sense and that's just not how it is with God.  So I say "Bye Grandma" and pray that someday I will see her in heaven.  I also realize that all our days are numbered and that only God knows what that number is.  So I will hug my kids and thank God that they are healthy and we are all here together.  If I live to be a ripe old age, or see my Savior tomorrow, I know that God is in control and His ways are always best.

Post A Comment! :: Send to a Friend!