It has been 6 months since my son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and I can honestly say that is has been a whirlwind. 

I've spent so much time reading, researching, making phone calls, making decisions, changing decisions, worrying, praying.  I often tell my husband that I now have a part time job in addition to being a mom and wife, but no one has paid me any money for it.  My job is Autism! 

However, I feel that after 6 months, I've finally settled back into normal life.  I don't spend every night on the internet and I don't spend every day on the phone. 

Throughout, God has remained, as always, faithful.  I have not been kept out of His sight for even a second, though I sometimes didn't realize it.  He has restored my soul even in the midst of what felt like despair.

At church on Sunday, I was singing and God struck me in a way that brought me to tears.  My first and foremost goal for having and raising children has been to bring glory to God.  Of course, I would enjoy them along the way, but ultimately, nothing is worth doing unless it does bring Him glory since after all, He is the only glory that is real.

Somewhere in the midst of focusing so much on Steven and helping him, I lost sight of my purpose in raising him anyway.  My goals had changed from what would bring God glory to what would bring Steven and our family glory.

An example is this.  Lately, I've been focusing on Steven's relational skills.  Why?  Because I want him to be happy, to have friends, a wife, children.  Yes, I still greatly desire those things, but I'd lost the key ingredient to all of it....

So that through Steven, God would be glorified.  And the funny thing is, many of my fears for Steven (that he wouldn't be popular, would be behind in school, and might not be the outgoing boy I dream him to be) actually had very little to do with glorifying God at all.

A quiet, meek child brings much glory to God.  A humble, hard working student brings so much glory.  And, a boy doing the best he can do, trusting God for every weakness he has, brings more glory to God than one hundred naturally talented, self-reliant children.

Lord, help me not to forget what really matters.  And, help me to focus more on You than on my children.

A great quote: 

"Grant, O Lord my God, that I may never fall away in success or in failure; that I may not be prideful in prosperity nor dejected in adversity. Let me rejoice only in what unites us and sorrow only in what separates us. May I strive to please no one or fear to displease anyone except Yourself. May I seek always the things that are eternal and never those that are only temporal. May I shun any joy that is without You and never seek any that is beside You. O Lord, may I delight in any work I do for You and tire of any rest that is apart from You. My God, let me direct my heart towards You, and in my failings, always repent with a purpose of amendment."

--St. Thomas Aquinas