I guess I should somehow feel honored, because "Anonymous" stopped by and left a rather scathing comment.  I would typically remove a comment made by someone who would not leave their name, but instead I would like to respectfully comment on their comment.  I don't want to degrade this person and I certainly don't want to insult them, thus if this post, in any way, sounds that way I truly apologize.  I will say, however, that I do believe their comment to by symptomatic of our culture.

Several months ago I made a post about a "Wedding Ring Coffin".  This is a "joke" that you can put your wedding ring to "Rest In Peace" when you get a divorce.  I commented that it wasn't very funny, and a sad commentary on our culture.  Here is what Anonymous had to say in response

How Uptight can you get? 

So, do you actually think that if this Wedding Ring Coffin didn't exist, the people who are becoming divorced would stay married. Divorce happens, and if this little coffin shaped jewelry box can bring a bit of closure to a sad chapter in one's life, I'm all for it.

First of all, I must agree with him that Divorce does happen.  But the rest of it, especially for us guys I think misses the mark. 

I don't know Anonymous expected an answer to his (I will refer to Anonymous using male pronouns, but realize this could have been a woman as well) question, but I will answer it anyway.  i do not think that if this coffin suddenly ceased to exist it would stop all divorce.  However, I am saddened that the covenant of marriage has been so cheapened that we make a joke of something as devestating as divorce.  I would respectfully ask "Anonymous" if he believes that the makers of this coffin were really doing it out of the goodness of their hearts to bring closure to people in hurting relationships, or was this a money making proposition.  If it is the latter, the maker must believe there is a demand, and that is what I am upset about.  While we are on the topic, I am also upset about the speed with which one can obtain a divorce, the countless books on "Christian divorces", even a "Christian divorce attorney" that advertises on our local Christian radio station.  Do I think all these things should be eliminated or that if they were it would end all divorces.  Of course not!  These are simply systematic of our culture that glorifies divorce. 

In logic, this argument is a red herring.  I was making a point about culture, and Anonymous took something unrelated (If this coffin didn't exist would all divorces end), and tried to make that the issue.  This is a logical fallacy.  But, since that can of worms was open, I will say this, I do believe that items such as this contribute to a cavalier attitude of divorce.  Cause it?  No!  Add to it?  Absolutely.

Finally, his last statement was "...and if this little coffin shaped jewelry box can bring a bit of closure to a sad chapter in one's life, I'm all for it. "

This is an argument by justification, or utilitarianism.  In other words, "the end justifies the means"  If some good comes out of this item, then I am all for it.  Also know as an (are you ready for this, this is original), and "If, then" statement.  First of all, one does not bring about the other.  Secondly, utilitarianism is the same argument that has justified such atrocities as abortion, euthenasia, even the holocaust.  For each item, a good end was anticipated, thus the means was justified.

However, even if the end was justified, I would disagree with its accuracy.  A little coffin will not end the breaking of a vow before God and man.  It will not put the pieces of a devestated child's life back together.  It will not cure the nighmares, or the emotional scars that this child will carry into their own marriage.  It will not heal the pain and betrayal felt by the wronged spouse.  It will not put the child in a 2 parent home again, and it will not end the "I'm not in love anymore, so I'm outta here" mentality of our culture.  So, no, it won't bring closure.  Only God can bring healing, which is what is truly needed when someone goes through a divorce, not just closure on a sad chapter.

As I said I must agree with Anonymous that divorce happens.  I must also agree that it is sad.  However, God alone can bring the healing, both for the victims of divorce, as well as for a culture who is addicted to divorce.

Finally, why did I bother writing a response to this.  Let me explain.  We live in a culture, especially with the prevelence of the internet, where accusations, and logical fallacies can be thrown around without thought.  I believe, especially as men, called to defend, we must be prepared to do more than simply throw an insult back.  We must be prepared, now more than ever, (and be training our sons and daughters to do so as well) to defend what we believe and why both logically and Biblically.  In a post Christian culture, it is difficult to start with the Bible.  Most don't accept it.  We must start with God's moral law, as well as his natural law.  God created logic, God created order.  We must use those tools to begin to help people understand why we believe what we do.  As we use God's created tools, we can bring them back to God's word, and work from there.  This is often what the Puritans did, and throughout history, those with a Reformed mindset have done.  Another way to put it is how it was put in Proverbs 21:31

The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the Lord

We need to prepare our horses for when we go up against the culture (logic, worldview, apologetics, etc., and training our children in these areas), and let the Lord bring us the victory.

Finally, Anonymous, I would love to continue this dialogue is you would like.  Please identify yourself.  I have no intention of insulting you or belitting you, as long as you want to dialogue and learn from each other.  I do ask that you refrain from the same and maybe, just maybe in our discussion we can teach each other something.