Feb. 1, 2008 - Thoughts on being *real* in our posting.....
So, I was talking to another HSing mom yesterday and the topic turned to bad things happening to good people.
It was a riviting discussion, as she had thought because they were Christians and Home Schooled, they (as parents) were protected from having rebellious children. I can remember thinking that myself once upon a time.
I ended up sharing some of our family story with her - along with struggling with parenting teens / young adults, DH and I struggled in our marriage years ago, and I even struggled w/ depression from age 16 to my early 30's (that's a whole story in itself and involves the Lord removing it from my life - very cool).
Anyway, I was telling her how when DH and I were struggling in our marriage (or even perhaps only me - he is a rock and will always do what's right, whereas I used to run by my emotions more, but a relationship is only as strong as the weakest link..... sigh) and how I didn't know one couple that had struggled and gotten through it. I thought we were the only ones and I didn't know if we could get through it. That was so many years ago - I was pretty young and naive. smile
I am so glad we are past that AND we just love being together. SO COOL.
Now I know just about every couple struggles at some time in their relationship. People just don't talk about it. They either get through it or they don't. That sure shows up in our communities / churches / extended families every day.
Oh, and parenting struggles? Well, I figure it might be the same thing there, too. People just don't talk about it, until perhaps something happens and it forces them to talk. Even then, do friends and family have any answers? Parenting can be tricky at times.
One of the young moms in our support group is so motivated. She wants to do a good job parenting and HSing. She has researched and applied so many great HSing tips. She has thought them out, looked at her children AND what they as a family want to accomplish in HSing - very cool. Very organised. (smile)
ANYWAY, she has done the same with parenting. She reads a lot of books and really thinks about how to parent her children the best way - she was sharing some of her tips at our last meeting and she does have a lot of wisdom. However, many parents don't approach parenting in that way and kinda go from one stage to another - adjusting along the way.
I must admit that parenting teens / young adults is a whole different ball game. Even deciding what you will call your children when they get to that age really says a lot about how you parent. Are you raising teens or young adults? Expecting maturity? Giving them appropriate responsibility and chores?
The above site would work best when children are little / elementary, but I don't think it ever too late to try and be a better parent.
Anyway, it is tough being real - even in a one on one situation, it is hard. BUT how encouraging it is to hear of someone getting through a tough time / struggle.
When my mom and dad were failing and then dying a few years ago, it was so hard. But once again, lately, I have realised the value of learning from a situation. I have 2 or 3 friends whose parents are failing and I can so relate. I have been there. What a blessing it is to be able to speak from experience.
I can even remember going to church after a miscarriage and having people speak to me. The gramma who had lost a very wanted baby to miscarriage years before, threw her arms around me and cried with me. She knew what I was going through right then. What a comfort that was.
So, each of us have our struggles in different areas. God continues to be the answer to our prayers and helps us to help others by sharing what we have gone through.
I hesitate sometimes sharing - but I think back to how it so encourages me to hear of others getting to the other side of their struggle.
I guess after talking to that mom yesterday (who wants to get on the forums here) - who thought no other Christian HSing family ever struggles with their teens... I just think, how cool it would be to open up now and then (just a bit) and to be real - as real as we can be and how that can encourage others.
I'm smiling remembering a support group meeting where one mom shared about a hard week and how grumpy mom had showed up in her home. So many other moms had been there and done that - even to apologising to their children.
You do have to feel safe sharing and never share too many details online (or offline for that matter). But I think being real can really minister to those who are in the midst of the struggle.
So my challenge today would be to be as real as you can *when* you can.
