God is good all the time, all the time GOD is GOOD.  I praise God for the priviledge and honor of being a child of the King, a wife and a mother of four blessings.  Since giving up some things to be an "All" there Mom.  I realize I haven't given up anything. I have gained so much more. It is all His anyway.  Everything belongs to HIM.  My time, is not mine, it belongs to Him.   He has made me a steward of the time He has so graciously given me.  I want to spend it glorifying Him in my relationship with Him, in my marriage and in my mothering.  We have had such a great time in our home for the past several months.  Such peace and joy and harmony (most of the time). 

I have been a stay at home Mom for 16 years and have never regretted a single day.  I have always thanked God for His providing this for our family and I still do.  But, honestly I have struggled over the years, especially back when we began homeschooling with "ministry" outside of my home and "ministry" inside my home.  Do you ever get the feeling that your home but not really an "all there" Mom?  You know, your mind is elsewhere, your there physically going through the routine of it all, but you have other more "important" things even "good" things calling out for your attention and energy?  I have been there many times over the past several years. 

 I know women who "seem" to be experts at juggling several plates brimming over with way too much on them.  For me, it took a toll on my nerves, emotions, and my family.  I can't do women's ministry, bible studies, homeschool my children "effectively", train them up in the Lord and minister to the needs of my husband and family all at the same time.  It has taken me several years to admit this.  Nothing gives me the thrill and satisfaction in my soul like teaching the bible to women and seeing them grow in the knowledge and love of Christ.  Seeing the light come on.  I  enjoy learning new tools for teaching, love doing homiletics and allowing the Word of God to shower my heart and mind with His truth and pass that along to eager hearers.  I have had seasons like that over the years.  Lately though, God has been pulling my heart all the way "home". 

I have such peace in my soul since giving up some things that were fighting for my attention and energy.  He has confirmed the decisions over and over again in His word, through this blog, through books He has put in my hands and through conversations with friends.  Seasons come and seasons go.  I want to enjoy each and every one.  To live the abundant life fully with my heart and mind whole not divided into pieces.  My oldest son is 20, oldest daughter 16, next is my 10 year old and 7 year old.  They need me to be an all there Mom.  To listen to  them, to help them  navigate through this life, to pray for them with passion, My husband needs me to be "his" helpmate not the other way around.  I know that this season will pass all too quickly.  There will be seasons to teach women's sunday school classes, to be involved in bible studies outside of my home, etc...but, right now my first ministry is to be the heartbeat of this home and family He has allowed me to be the mother of.  God bless you as you seek Him for direction in all areas of your life.  May He be Lord of all, for He does all things well.

In Him,
Renee