My youngest daughter and I could not sleep and are up instead of sleeping.  My reason for not sleeping is the lost of an dear e-mail friend.  I truely believe that my 8 year old daughter is awake just to keep me company and keeping me from being sad.   We played a game, wrote notes and now I am starting this new blog.

The reason for my sadness is because I long for having those best-friends that are so easy to have when we are young.  I was hoping my dear e-mail friend could be one.  But I put this on record to never have an e-mail friend again.  I dislike typing, because words on the page lack the emotion and tone.  Too easy is it to be taken out of content or mood.  Too easy is it to go on and on offending someone without realizing that they are not going to take it well.  Before we know it, we bury ourselfs in things we are appologizing for that are not what we meant.  This happened on both sides with my e-mail friend and I. 

I have a picture of my best-friend and I from High School.  We were best-friends all the way up into our twentys. We didn't have the perfect relationship, but I loved being around her.  She never made me feel that she was better than me, even though she was more popular than I was.  She always made me feel welcome and happy to see me.  She had a way of making me feel good about myself and cheered me on when I needed it.  She has moved too many hours away to visit her.  She is just as busy as I am now.  She has her business while I care for my husbands business and we both have our families that we love and care for.  We loved each other as sisters would have and accepted each other the way we were.

I had another best-friend in Junior High.  She moved an hour away, but we still would spend time together on week-ends when we could.  I was so lost when she moved away.  We shared thoughts, feelings, secrets, poems and lots of time.  We played with our hair, pretended we weren't bored so her mom wouldn't  put us to work, ate lots of bags of Dorito's, and if we got into trouble it was me leading the way.  I lived with my bacholar dad and so I had plenty of rope to hang myself.  I still see her from time to time, but we just are not as close as I wish we were.

Now, I hope none of my present friends take offense.  I know I am blessed with many friends who I love dearly.  I think I am more sad that I have grown up and got too busy to take the time to invest in a best-friend relationship like I had with the 2 very  best-friends from my childhood.  I can't tell you which one is the best, because both relationships were unique and well charished.