Hope, Love and Joy

• Mar. 13, 2008 - Husbands - Our Best-Friends

We started off with a colicky baby who kept us awake most of the night. Then there wasn’t my husbands job that kept him away until 7pm. Dinner was late and the kids were so excited to see Daddy home that bedtime didn't settle in until 10pm. Thankfully that job is a thing of our past. But we never changed the bedtime routine. Both of us enjoy our time by our selves separately in the morning. He leaves and wakes me up and so I can get an hour to my own thoughts. But this doesn't leave any time for us. I can get his full attention while he is showering after he comes home and eager to listen to my rambling on. Sometimes he enjoys rambling on while the shower runs.

Husband has complained about our situation, but never did nothing about it. I decided that I must be the one to take lead on this task or continue to listen to my husband only talk about it. He leads the bedtime routine, but loves the TV too much to walk away from it any sooner then 10pm. Last night, I put the kids into bed 30 minutes early. The oldest argued the most about the situation , but it did happen. Then I sat by extremely tired husband who really wanted to take advantage of going to bed 30 minutes early, but reluctantly stayed up. We watched the news together and then went to bed. Success.

We also never had made the priority of having a regular night out without the kids. I have sometimes waited 2 years, but have been disappointed in nothing happening. I can honestly say that most of our 17 years of marriage, I have felt he was my best-friend, but the last few years I have longed for a best-friend outside of our marriage. I have finally realize that the reasons for longing for an outside best-friend has been because we have let our marriage determinate. There are no longer moments to talk without the kids around. There aren't moments to just hang out and look forward to being with the most important person in each others life. So again, I stepped in and took the initiative to find someone to swap childcare for date-night. Plan the date and I guess I will also make reservations. (PF Changs has a gluten free menu)

I look forward to having my best-friend back.

• Aug. 30, 2008 - Best friends

Posted by Anonymous

I know that sometimes you feel like I'm distant but I am not. I think of you a lot and wish that we can have time together to just talk. But over the years our lives have changed so much that our intrests have changed with us. I have stopped watching sports as much as I used to. I still watch some sports but not often. I watch and listen to more political news now more so than I did in the past. So yes I've changed over time with my off time. I guess if I were the one at home all day, my interests would probably be geared more towards the kids like yours are. I do love our kids very much, but I admit that I struggle sometime wondering what extra ciricular activities to do with them. But they are girls and obviously guys have a hard time figuring out what they want to do! My tendancy is to want to teach them sports but I also want them to grow up and be ladylike not tomboys'!
Hopefully this clears some things up. But you have to admit we have started getting closer again now that the kids are becoming more involved with homeschool groups and have more opportunities to meet and make friends. I love you and that will never change no matter how our interests change.
Pat Your loving husband!

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• Aug. 30, 2008 - Response to my husband

Posted by hopelovejoy

I feel the need to do an update. I thank my friend Lynn so much for the ability to swap childcare for "date night" This has helped our marriage grow back together as it should. It is nice to have one night to just hang out and be husband and wife without the destractions of parenting. Hi highly recommend putting your trust in God to provide a friend that you can trust to watch (or exchange) the kids. Marriage is too valuable to forget to make the investment of time spent together alone. I feel that my best-friend is back and there for me.

From the heart,
Your loving wife,
Sheri

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