Blogging and Schooling and Life! Oh MY!

Jun. 9, 2007

Supermom?

Does anyone else ever feel sick of having to do it all? I don't mean to complain, I really love my life and my kids and even Mark (EVEN? ;o) But sometimes I just wish that I could hire maybe a housekeeper or a maid for a week even. It just seems that as soon as I get something done it's undone! I know a lot of this has to do with having 3 very small children fallowing me around.

How do you make time in your day for everything? (I'm really asking this by the way) I find that if I get all the housework done that I wanted to get done then I've horribly neglected the kids, but if I spend as much time with the kids that I want to then the house goes to pot! I know I need to find a balance but I'm just not sure where that balance is. Maybe this is something I'll learn more as the kids get older. I was reading Alyssa's chore blog and really looking forward to the day that Danya does more than just make her bed. It did make me realize I can give her a few more things to do though. I wish I could motivate Mark with stickers too! LOL. He does help out but the mess really doesn't get to him like it does to me. So I usually feel like I'm nagging.

Anyway thanks for listening to my whine!

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Comments

Jun. 11, 2007 - <i>Untitled Comment</i>

Posted by crazybusy

Supermom? Who's she? Cuz I think I want to beat her up. LOL!
Seriously though, I dream of having a housekeeper or a cook, but then when I *really* think about it, pride gets the best of me and even if we could afford one, I don't think I'd do it. Sad, huh?
The "done, undone" phenomenon is just a part of having children, especially those of the littler variety. And even more so when they aren't pitching in their fair share on top of it all.
It WILL get better. Promise! :) You'll be just as busy, if not busier, when they get older, but in a different way, AND they'll be helping out more.
You're right- you definitely have to find a balance and if anything gets neglected, the children trump the house every time. (edited because that didn't sound right- I know you KWIM, but had to clarify that the children trump the house when both are needing attention, not neglect! LOL!)

And hey, if you ever find a way to motivate Mark, even if it is with stickers, let me know. I'm sure I can come up with a chore chart for Kenton too. LOL!
Love, Alyssa

Edited by crazybusy on Jun. 11, 2007 at 12:41 AM

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Jun. 11, 2007 - Here's how we do it

Posted by Cherie

I found it helps to have a basic schedule for the day.
6:30 Mom up and showered
7:00 every one up and going
* teens rotate emptying dishwasher
7:30 Breakfast
every one morning chores
* beds
* rooms tidied
* laundry gathered
* teeth and hair
* I start 1st of 2 loads of laundry
* all of us work on one room each day
* Monday-living room
* Tuesday-Kitchen & Dinning
* Wednesday- Bathrooms
* Thursdays- Playroom and Desk
* Friday- Make up day
* Saturday- Bedrooms
Homeschool
* Joshua and Bekah play, watch TV or sit and color with us
* several times a week I do school pages with Bekah
10:00 snack time
back to school work
12:00 Lunch
12:30 Nap for Joshua and mom
* teens finish up school work or have free time

3:00 play time with Josh and Bekah (outside if weather permits)
5:00 dinner prep and house tidy before daddy comes home
6:00 dinner
* clean up (teens rotate-loading Dish washer)
7:00 play with daddy and baths if needed
8:00 betime routine

This is basic and we don't watch the clock, but this is generally how our days go. By doing a room each day the house stays pretty clean and each room doesn't take too long to whip into shape.

Blessings
Cherie

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Jun. 11, 2007 - That's funny, April

Posted by Anonymous

On Saturday, I actually heard that word(Supermom)being uttered in refernce to me, and I JUST told Jon last night that I wasn't at all flattered. It was two women who's husband's are employees of Jon's and it was at the company picnic. I had taken Josh to the van because he was tired and had come into the picnic area through a back entrance to pick up his things and what do you think I heard? "Lisa's like some sort of supermom..." "I know..I barely have time to wash my hair! Much less have all those kids...geez!"
Honestly, I was hurt. First off, it's always a little scary to hear your name when two women are talking behind your back. It felt so alienating to me. They obviously were saying, "I can't relate to her at all." and it made me feel like crying.(I'm a little emotional right nowLOL) But honestly. Maybe another time in life I'd have been flattered, but not this time. I guess I think like Alyssa..that supermom(if she even exists)is someone most of us wants to beat up!! LOL Not befriend. *sigh*
The next chance I get I'll make sure to let them in on the fact that I"m not supermom..I'm a normal mom who juggles all that stuff you mentioned, April--everyday and not always successfully. I guess I just wanted to tell you that if you love and care for your children and try and balance the housework and your wife role that you are a Super Mom. :) But if anyone ever calls you a supermom I wonder if you'll dislike it as much as I did.
Practically speaking, I really understand what you're saying. This morning I've spent time on emails and done a teeny bit of laundry, swept the driveway and picked up sticks, and spent a whole lotta time with the kids(mostly Josh). But now the housework is seriously calling my name! It's always easier for me to throw myself into it when I've spent morning time with Joshua, playing on the swings or reading. I'll probably spend the rest of the day working on cleaning and laundry but I won't really feel guilty cause we had our time this am. Kwim? :) It's hard, I agree!
Lis

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Jun. 11, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by fij

I'm right there with you! I had (another) mini-breakdown on Friday night and Duane asked me if I wanted to go back to working full time and put the kids in childcare. I know the answer in my heart is absolutely not, but at that moment I just didn't know.
I often times feel like I spin my wheels all day long and don't get anything accomplished and I wonder if it's this hard for everyone.
I've heard that it gets easier... I hope so!

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Jun. 18, 2007 - I know what you mean!

Posted by 5atkins

When our 3rd (and last so far) was born I really wanted to nurse her. Even after battling jaundice so bad she nearly needed a transfusion, we kept going. But by the time she was 6 weeks old I was tired! All of my postpartum help was gone. No more ready made meals delivered, no more playdates to give me time with the baby alone. It was me taking care of my 3yo, 2yo, and 1mo! I finally told my dh that I couldn't do it anymore. Mary wanted to nurse every 2 hours and the 2yo would not go potty until Mary was latched on! :( Of course then I felt so guilty for giving up. When someone asked me why I was quitting I told them it was because I had to go back to work. "But you stay home?" "Yes, my own home daycare and it doesn't seem to be going so well with nursing and potty training. (Longer story about why we were doing both at the same time!) Anyway, one thing which helped me in the early years was to keep everything out of their reach. I would only get down a limited amount to play with and that was the for the whole day. Having a strict schedule for napping helped too! I had at least 2 hours each day when they were all asleep if I didn't go do something crazy like shop or try to visit a friend, etc! :) Seriously, keeping a general routine was very helpful. I didn't really follow times as much as sequence. Breakfast, clean up with kids watching video, toy time with me on the floor playing too, play on porch time while Mommy fixes lunch, lunch, clean up with Mommy ( I gave them a wipe - well worth the expense) I had the cleanest chair legs and door knobs! :) Then a book, a song, and the wonderful nap hours. Wake up and play some more while Mommy cleans, etc. Reading time and then music. They danced while Mommy made dinner!
Boy those days are long ago but I still use a similar strategy! :) I also decluttered all rooms they had acess too so we didn't have books, videos, knick knacks moving around etc. Evening bedtime was also closely watched so that Mommy had down time with Daddy at night!
Hope this gives you an idea that might help! Praying for you! In Him, Eva

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Jul. 15, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by SandBetweenMyToes

You stopped by my blog a few weeks ago while I was out of town, and I'm still catching up. I can certainly relate to where you are with finding balance. I have been a mom for almost 21 years, and I find myself right now trying to figure that out in a lot of areas in my life, including housekeeping vs. children vs. mom time.
First of all, if you feel the need for outside help and can afford it, there is nothing at all shameful about it. You are not a failure as a homemaker. Many homemakers might make you feel as such. If I could find someone I could afford--maybe a teen at church or something-- who could come in once a week and clean like mad, they'd be here with no shame! We all tend, like you, to joke about it, but really, it would be okay.
As your children get older, they will be able to help more, but of course, the messes tend to get bigger, too for a while. Having teens helping is wonderful, and I wonder what on earth I will do when they move out!! Start training them in little things as soon as they are able. I have also found that I have had to let go of perfectionism. There is no way to do it all. If my house stays spotless all the time, then all I am doing is cleaning house. I have decided to enjoy my children and enjoy our life while they are young, and let some other things be less important. However, it's still hard to get the rest done.
One last thing. It is great to glean wisdom from other women, but make sure it's the message God intends for you. Take up a new schedule or routine because you think it will fit, not out of guilt or "I should".
I know just what you mean about summer flying by. The older your children get, the faster it seems to go, too. As 2 of mine start college this fall, I suddenly find myself confined to school schedules. I'm thinking I don't enjoy this already! Now all traveling,etc. has to happen during the summer. It's not long enough!
Letitia

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About Me

I'm April, mom of 3 little ones. Danya - 4, Libby - 2 and Jack 8 months. Just starting to look into the world of homeschooling and the laws here. I thought I'd document the journey!