• Apr. 11, 2007
Not my will but Yours, oh Lord
(I promise, more resources to come. the new camera has arrived I just need to take some pics.)
“Come to me, all you who are labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
I have so many verses running through my head right now but Matthew 11:28-30 seems to be standing out the most. The Lord is calling me to Him for the rest that I so need right now. Not the sleeping kind of rest but the rest from the weariness of life that we allow ourselves to feel. Rest from constantly trying to fight the will of our Lord. What silly people we are, He tells us right there in verses 29 and 30 to take His yoke which is easy and will give our souls rest.
Gillian just had another febrile seizure about an hour ago. I found myself to be such a hypocrite while dealing with the whole situation. First let me start by saying that in the last year we have had 2 families we know deal with the loss of children. One passed away at birth and the other died in a car accident (she was almost 3 years old). Watching these families go through their losses was very painful. I felt like God was reminding me that my children our His and He can call them home at anytime. I am fully aware of this and even talked about it with others how I knew that God could take my children back anytime He wanted to and I would be accepting of His will to do so. It is so easy to feel that way and to say those things when your children are healthy and running around and just fine. Then Gillian started seizing and I found myself on my knees pleading with God to not let this be the time when He takes her. Hypocrite! I guess I really need to work on this in my heart a little more. I know I have written this before in posts about seizures but I will never get use to watching my daughter turn blue and become comatose. I actually walked out of the room this time (hubby was there trying to get her to come to) and just fell to my knees and prayed. God has been so gracious to not allow me to be home alone when she has had her seizures. I truly feel that He knows that I could not handle that.
As always. Gillian is doing just fine. Neither one of us could sleep so we are up watching Polar Express together. And as always, I am physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted form the whole ordeal, mostly because I was fighting the will of God. I was doing everything in my power to stop a seizure from coming which is futile when my powers are nothing compared to the Almighty’s. So I will work on taking His yoke upon myself and trying to not fight His will. He will then give my weary soul the rest that it needs.
Comments
• Apr. 11, 2007
Keep on pleading!
Posted by Susan G.
Hi Caroline,
I am so sorry that Gillian had another seizure. How seemingly impossible must that be for you to go through. You keep pleading, girl! Then, rest in God's sovereign will once His will is accomplished. Was it Jairus whose daughter was dying and was already died and he came to Christ to revive her? You turned to your Heavenly Father to help your little girl in need. You knew He was there to sustain both you and her. We ultimately know that our children's days are numbered before the Lord and we need to remain content in that. But, until then, pour your heart out!!! :)
• Apr. 11, 2007
Keep on pleading!
Posted by Susan G.
Hi Caroline,
I am so sorry that Gillian had another seizure. How seemingly impossible must that be for you to go through. You keep pleading, girl! Then, rest in God's sovereign will once His will is accomplished. Was it Jairus whose daughter was dying and was already died and he came to Christ to revive her? You turned to your Heavenly Father to help your little girl in need. You knew He was there to sustain both you and her. We ultimately know that our children's days are numbered before the Lord and we need to remain content in that. But, until then, pour your heart out!!! :)
• Apr. 11, 2007
Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
I'm so sorry to hear about her seizure! I'll be praying for her (and you too!)
~Corin
