Posted in Marital Musings

 

Due to all of our packing and such

I haven't had a lot of time to blog about much

besides packing and such. *Ü*

During this transitional time, I thought I would share

some of my posts from the past.

 

 

The following was something that I had originally written

in response to a post on a message board.

I realized that it was something I wouldn't mind reminding myself of

and that, perhaps, it could help others.

So I revamped it a little and posted it back in February...

 

---

 

Nurturing Our Marriages

 

Some make an extra effort to pamper and show their

love to their spouses on Valentine's Day....

but sometimes we get caught up in every day life

and neglect to do what we can the other days of the year.

The Bible says,

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil,

like a roaring lion, walketh about,

seeking whom he may devour." ~ 1 Peter 5:8

He is constantly doing what he can to create wedges in our marriages.

 He despises marriage because they are pictures of Christ and His bride.

We need take that seriously and be ever watchful.

We also need to be as active in building our marriage

as Satan is in tearing it down.

I challenge us all to be pro- active every month,

 every week, every day, every moment...

to diligently build and nurture our marriages.

Below are some suggestions:

 

 

~ PRAY faithfully and fervently for our marriages,

our husbands, and our own selves

 

 

~ Keep a prayer journal of prayers that you pray out to God.

Don't spend this time discussing hubby's flaws, but our own instead.

Asking the Lord to help us grow,

to help us love darling hubby even more,

to help us be the servant and helpmeet that He would have us to be,

asking Him to change our own hearts.

It is a great alternative to calling friends or even family.

 

 

~ Be faithful in your quiet time with the Lord.

Morning is the best time for this. It makes a difference beginning

your day with a lesson from the Lord and an eternal perspective.

 

 

~ Have quiet time with hubby.

This may mean that you need to get up a lot earlier than you'd like.

DO IT. It is well worth it.

And let's never assume he is not interested.

Prayerfully approach him and ask him if he would be

willing to read the Bible together.

Volunteer to be the one to read aloud if you need to.

If he says no, then okay, but at least you can try.

 

 

~ COMMUNICATE.

Hubby needs to be our next best friend, aside from Jesus Christ.

Talk with him. Express to him how you feel (not with tears),

how you think, what your goals and dreams are,

what you love about him, etc... 

We HAVE to find a way to communicate, even when we don't feel like it.

MAKE ourselves communicate.

We can't wait for hubby to initiate.

That is the sin of selfishness and pride.

 

 

~ Read marriage books together.

Again, don't assume he's not interested.

Again, volunteer to read to him. I highly recommend this.

It's the closest thing to having a marriage counselor

right there helping you. 

One great book is "Have a Heavenly Marriage"

by David Sorenson (about $7).

We have found that the perfect place, for us,

to read our marriage books together

is right after climbing into bed at night.

There are no interuptions and there is a different kind of closeness.

Also, to read alone, a great book is "How to Save Your Marriage Alone"

by Ed Wheat (about $3).

 

 

~ Continue to grow yourself.

Do all that you can to allow God to change what He wants to in you.

Ask Him for a teachable spirit and a humble heart.

Purpose in your heart to find the areas that you need to be changed in.

I would like to HIGHLY recommend a sermon

that I feel ALL wives and potential wives should listen to.

A very powerful message called

"How a Wife Can Use Reverence to Build or Save Her Marriage"

by S.M. Davis. The cost is $6.50 and WELL worth the buy!

 

 

~ Do 'little' things for hubby.

Cook his favorite meal, make sure the house is clean,

write him little love notes and put them in different places

(his pillow, lunchbox, mirror, car, etc...),

buy his brand of something that he likes

(ex... Charmin, Heinz, Post Raisin Bran, and so forth),

put his laundry away, learn to like his hobby,

make sure the children are properly disciplined throughout the day,

make Daddy coming home a big deal

(He is, after all, the king of his castle... make him feel that way).

There are SO many things we can do.

When we think of them... DO them.

Ask other wives for creative ideas.

 

 

~ 'Flirt' with hubby.

Keep a playfulness in your marriage.

Make 'eyes' at him from across a room,

give him that 'flirty' smile and look.

Go out of your way to hold his hand, rest your hand on his leg,

play 'footsie' under the table, etc...

Make him know and feel that you love him and desire him.

 

 

~ Have date nights.

Find another family with children and swap babysitting nights.

You don't have to spend a lot of money.

Go get coffee together, watch the sunset as you talk to each other,

take a stroll, window shop at his favorite store

(Bass Pro, Home Depot, etc...),

do his hobby with him (golf, hunt, fish, etc... with him).

Again, be creative.

If you absolutely cannot get a babysitter, that's okay.

Instead, put the kids to bed early

and have a picnic, coffee, or tea while sitting in your living room floor

listening to classical music and chatting,

play a board or card game together, look at photos,

color, build with legos, and so forth.

Anything to have fun and enjoy each others company.

 

 

There ARE things we can do... lots of them.

We simply have to make the choice 

and purpose in our hearts to do them.

Marriage is not about selfishness,

waiting for ourselves to be pleased and satisfied.

It's about making the other person happy, fulfilling his needs,

whether he returns the 'favor' or not.

 

I challenge us to rise above ourselves

and get an eternal perspective on our marriages.

Let's pour our hearts and souls into our husbands and marriages

and let's ACTIVELY fight off Satan

by making everyday a special day of heart-felt, passionate effort

to keep our marriages, not just surviving, but thriving!

 

 

~ Christina Kubik © February 2006