Posted in Writings of a HomeSchool Mom
I recently received this comment and would like to respond in this post...
Thoughts shared by Anonymous
During your pregnacies, did you ever feel..well, not quite up to taking care of the family? Your family is so precious to you, and if you have ever been ill or not quite the energetic self you seem to be, I would imagine that your heart would ache like mine over all the things I *wish* I was doing with and for my family. I'm wondering how you got by during those down times...especially if your husband was away and not able to help with the children. My children are 10, 8, 6, 1, and we are expecting in April. I've been extreemy dizzy and nauseated...embarrassed over the volume of housework that has been let go, disenhearted over our new "less than ideal" eating habits we've temporarily adopted, and grieving over all the adventures and learning experiences we are missing out on together as a family. I'm very grateful that you share your family with us. I'm very inspired and blessed by you and your children. I've only been reading your blog for a few months. I'm curious about your experience and how you have handled the down times.
Dear Anonymous (and others)~
My heart and prayers truly do go out to you.
You are definately NOT alone in the way you are feeling.
I speak, encounter, and receive emails from women
who are experiencing the same thing.
And I, too, have been there
AND I still sometimes find myself falling into being there.
I have very recently wrote a series of emails to a new online friend
about this exact situation and would love to share some of what I replied...
So that I won't write too much in one post (very easy for me to do *Ü*),
I will do it in a series of posts (or I may get by with only two posts -
depending upon what the Lord lays upon my heart to share)...
I think one of the reasons the Lord allows things like this to happen
is because He is making us more like the Son of God.
I think that when things don't go
according to how we had planned or how we had hoped,
there is great training ground there in our character.
We have opportunities then to learn and practice things
like faith, trust, obedience, patience, meekness, contentment,
joyfulness, thankfulness, praise, and more.
It is much more effective and beneficial to us
It is much more effective and beneficial to us
when we embrace it through fervent prayer.
I know that, especially with little ones,
I know that, especially with little ones,
it can be a challenge to get, what we think, anything accomplished.
But sometimes we aren't exactly looking
from an eternal perspective as God does.
The Holy Spirit laid this Scripture on my heart...
"For our light affliction, which is but for a moment,
worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;
While we look not at the things which are seen,
While we look not at the things which are seen,
but at the things which are not seen:
for the things which are seen are temporal;
but the things which are not seen are eternal." ~ 2 Corinthians 4:17,18
When we feel that we aren't accomplishing anything,
He has given us an opportunity to accomplish,
perhaps, the things that aren't necessarily seen
(like growing in godly character... in ourselves and our children,
like blessing our beloved with our joyfulness
despite how our day seems to have gone, etc...
the possibilites, especially with God, are endless).
When I am in the middle of those trials, struggles,
and sometimes seemingly desperate moments,
the only thing that will sometimes get me through
is remembering the Lord's promise
that He is making me more like His Son.
"And we know that all things work together for good
to them that love God,
to them who are the called according to his purpose.
For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate
For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate
to be conformed to the image of his Son..." ~ Romans 8:28,29a
I think when we truly grasp that concept in our hearts
and compare what Christ went through for us
that our temporal problems begin to look less overwhelming.
But there is more that we can do...
Before I continue responding,
I am praying that you (and others) will receive what I say
with a softened heart and will know that I speak in love.
And what I write here is not necessarily to you or anyone else...
but it is what I have said and do say to myself and have practiced.
Saying that, I will continue...
In regards to HOW...
First, I would suggest stop looking back at who you 'used to be'
or dwelling on who you 'wish' to be.
We CANNOT move forward by looking back,
nor by dwelling in an "I wish" thought life.
Somehow you have ended up where you are and God has allowed it.
Instead of looking back at how it used to be
or how you wish it could be...
look forward to what it will be.
You don't have to know specifics of what it will be
but you do have a God Who is faithful to His promises
and you can (and must) trust in that.
We must press on and contiue, even in weariness...
WHAT TO DO...
#1 ~ I am convinced that when we are struggling with emotions
and feelings like this that the first thing we need to do is Repent.
We need to get on our knees and on our faces before God
and repent of our ungodly attitudes... even if we feel they are justified.
There were many times that I felt my emotions were justified
and the Lord showed me that I needed to repent
of my satisfaction in that as well. So I did.
There does need to be a point of brokeness.
The Bible says,
"The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart;
and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit." Psalm 34:18
and "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit:
a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise." Psalm 51:17
If this is true for you and have already done this... Great....
But it needs to be done continually.
As soon as you feel these negative, ungodly emotions, pray.
I find myself praying all day long.
After all, the Bible says "Pray without ceasing" 1 Thess 5:17.
Praying on our knees, in silence, in tears even, I think, is needed,
but God doesn't expect us to do that all day long.
However, He does command us to pray all day long... without ceasing.
Say a prayer under your breath, say prayers aloud to yourself,
write them down, sing them, think them.
So my first advice is Pray... continually.
#2 ~ I understand with having children, being pregnant,
domestic duties, and not feeling the best yourself
that it seems near impossible to have quiet time with the Lord.
I am convinced this is a complete lie from Satan himself.
We just choose to listen to them.
Our quiet time in God's Word can be done just about any time
and He, in His Great Wisdom, has given us
the perfect amount of time in each day that we need
to do what He has commanded us to do.
We just tend to be poor stewards of our time
(I, too, am very guilty of this).
Of course, I believe the morning is the best time for quiet time
but it is not the only time.
And may I say, also, that quiet time does NOT have to be an hour,
a half hour, or even 15 whole minutes.
ANY time we can spend in His Holy Word is time very well spent
and He will bless us for that time.
Practical ideas...
If the children are already up when you wake up
(as it is in my home many mornings) then you could read your Bible,
in the kitchen, as they eat their breakfast... even if it's a few verses.
Or you could even utilize the tv, let them watch a 1/2 hour video
and sit in the next room.
You could also read a few verses or squeeze in a chapter
as you fold laundry or make a meal.
You could even read the few minutes you 'steal' in the bathroom.
You can spend 5-10 minutes before bed and read His Word.
Instead of getting on the computer... read God's Word.
While holding one of your children,
you can read God's Word (silent or aloud).
While laying in bed, you can read God's Word.
There ARE ways that we can be in God's Word.
We just have to be willing to do them. *Ü*
If you do anything at all, do this very important thing.
Make a committment to read God's Word everyday...
whether it's in the morning or some other time,
but this one thing is needful.
#3 ~ Memorizing Scripture is crucial to our successful, spiritual lives.
I have written a couple of posts about this.
Even if you memorize 1 verse a week...
that will be 52 verses a year! Wow!
That would be 52 of God's Perfect Thoughts that we know as our own!
Our way of thinking is changed
when our minds are filled with God's thoughts.
One easy way to memorize Scripture is
to say the verse 25 times a day the first day,
20 times the next day, 15 times the next, then 10, then 5,
then, at least, once a week.
I have plain, ol' index cards taped in my bathroom by the mirror
so that is the first thing I see in the morning.
I say them over and over and over again as I go potty, get dressed,
pull my hair back, etc...
So many people shun away from really memorizing Scripture
and I think that's part of the reason our spiritual lives suffer.
It truly isn't that hard to memorize Scripture.
If it were, God wouldn't have commanded us to know it.
(Deut. 11:18; Prov. 3:3; 6:21; 7:3; and many more -
I encourage you to look those up).
#4 ~ Something that has helped me tremendously is
keeping a prayer journal.
Actually, a prayer journal may not be the right title for it.
It is more like my letters/written prayers to God.
When I am feeling hopeless, depressed, discouraged, desperate, etc...,
Instead of calling a friend, or my mom, or etc....
I 'call' my Heavenly Father.
I write to Him what is in my heart.
I confess, I share with Him my concerns,
I share with Him that I don't want to feel this way, etc...
and I find that, many times, as I am writing to Him,
He begins to encourage my heart and change my thoughts.
I think I must have gotten this 'idea' from David.
And that is probably why I love the psalms SO much.
Which I HIGHLY suggest reading during this time.
But throughout the psalms, David pours out his heart,
his hopeless feelings, etc...
and we see that the Lord encourages his heart
and the psalm usually ends in praise to the Lord.
#5 ~ Sing! Sing! Sing!
I'm very serious. Sing.
Keep a cd with uplifting hymns/songs playing all day.
Sing them in your mind, in your heart, out of your mouth. Sing.
"The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusted in him, and I am helped:
therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth;
and with my song will I praise him." Ps 28:7
#6 ~ Do share with your husband that you are struggling.
Not in a complaining way. Just approach him, prayerfully,
and let him know that you are struggling
and ask him to pray for you.
#7 ~ It truly will not last forever.
Pregnancy, etc... are real situations that affect us in many ways.
But this is only for a season.
One of the greatest lessons I learned (and still learn)
in hard times like these is the lesson of
obedience, perseverance, and faith/trust.
Even those times I felt that I had no joy,
I learned that those were times the Lord wanted me
to just be obedient and keep keeping on, trusting in Him...
just like David... just like Job... just like many others.
There is no secret formula and no overnight success.
And, yes, it must be worked at.
But it is accomplished through the Lord Jesus Christ.
Pray He will enable you, will teach you, will show you.
Read Psalm 119:33-40. I try to always read/pray this passage...
"Teach me, O LORD, the way of thy statutes;
and I shall keep it unto the end.
Give me understanding, and I shall keep thy law;
Give me understanding, and I shall keep thy law;
yea, I shall observe it with my whole heart.
Make me to go in the path of thy commandments; for therein do I delight.
Incline my heart unto thy testimonies, and not to covetousness.
Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity;
Make me to go in the path of thy commandments; for therein do I delight.
Incline my heart unto thy testimonies, and not to covetousness.
Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity;
and quicken thou me in thy way.
Stablish thy word unto thy servant, who is devoted to thy fear.
Turn away my reproach which I fear: for thy judgments are good.
Behold, I have longed after thy precepts: quicken me in thy righteousness."
Turn away my reproach which I fear: for thy judgments are good.
Behold, I have longed after thy precepts: quicken me in thy righteousness."
~ Psalm 119:33-40
Lord willing, I will post more in future posts...
Posted by hskubes on Monday, October 2, 2006 at 5:46 PM
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