Two Kid Schoolhouse

Hate to diss someone's church, but...

Jan. 24, 2008

this article about a new mega-church in the Atlanta area had some disheartening things to say about the state of Christianity in the US.  (Kerri, I'm expecting to hear from you on this one...)

The new church includes "facilities for children, from birth through college..." What is wrong with that sentence?

Of course, most churches anymore have "children's church" or Sunday School during the church service because kids aren't expected to be able to sit through a church service. Though our church doesn't separate kids, I remember a few occasions when they were younger that the sermon content was something I'd rather they weren't exposed to just then. Still, it bothers me that
"...congregants are encouraged not to bring children into the worship experience center..." because "We don't want a 2-year-old to disrupt anyone's experience." I don't know if kids are allowed in the cafe, either.

The facility cost $30 million. Movie-making equipment and staff are probably pretty expensive! I guess that's money well-spent if it really gets people in the doors, hearing the Gospel so they can truly become part of the body of Christ, ready to go out and minister to others. My brief experience with an almost-mega-church makes me a little cynical, though. My guess is people will hear "nice words spoken" (not a quote from the article but something a nonbeliever who attended a Christian church once said to me; she also complained about the icky focus on the Crucifixion on the Sunday before Easter) and go on with their lives. I hope I am wrong about that.
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Intermittent blogging is bad for maintaining readership...

Jan. 17, 2008

but since I don't keep any stats anyway, I guess it doesn't matter!

We are finally dog owners. We have been semi-promising J a dog for quite some time now. Before we moved, it was difficult because we had a big yard, but no fence. The idea of fencing it was a little daunting, and we never got around to just fencing part. When we moved, we knew we would have a fenced yard, so that excuse was gone. The months after the move flew by, till it was almost Christmas and we knew we'd be traveling. We said we'd start in earnest after Christmas. And, we did. And now Max is part of our family.

Max is not my choice of name. The rescue organization named him, and the kids would not let me change it. I wanted Calvin. (You can decide if I was thinking of the cartoon character or the reformer.) If we had gotten a girl, I was thinking of Nancy Blackett, a name which of which they approved. Oh well, it's a boy and Max is his name. Maxwell, technically.

But who cares? He is a sweet pup, born somewhere between 5 and 12 months ago in North Carolina, moved for some reason to Pennsylvania. I am convinced that there is a family that still misses this dog. Someone trained him! He is very polite in the house. No chewing. No accidents. Only a couple of tentative paws on the furniture, quickly removed.

Outside he is a speed demon. He loves to run and run. He tires himself out which is good, since we cannot play with him all day long. How do dogs who are alone all day survive the loneliness?
He is getting to be pretty good on the leash, unless another dog comes by - he wants to play - or when a car goes by. He is mildly afraid of cars, terrified of larger vehicles. What secret lurks in that sweet heart of his?

So, walks to take, more laundry to do (it's very muddy outside and we go outside a lot), more playing to be done. It's a wonder I can educate these children. But that is coming along pretty well too. Mostly.
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A grown up 9 year old

Jan. 3, 2008

Today my little E and I talked some about her upcoming birthday.  She turns 9 on Monday.  She loves a birthday party but it's always hard for me, coming so soon after Christmas.   She has always had high expectations for the right decorations, cake, party favors etc.  It can be difficult for me to empathize with her need for this as I am pretty low-maintenance when it comes to birthday celebrations.   I guess my mother made me that way - I remember being allowed to have one friend over for cake the day after my birthday, and that was it! 

I have tried to make my kids' birthdays special but not so much that they feel it's a huge holiday.   Kids with birthdays during the school year don't skip classes; working adults usually go to their jobs.  In my little homeschool we don't necessarily take the day off.  Since her birthday falls on a Monday this year, we will still do our usual Monday things.  I believe in flexibility (too much, sometimes), but we don't need a "day off" right now. 

So today we talked about what to do, and  one of us came up with the idea of not having a birthday party, but a valentine-making party instead.  She was really excited about the idea of using the money we'd spend on decorations, favors, etc. and putting it to use for supplies.  

Of course I like the idea that it gives me a little extra time to get something together.  But I'm also glad she's happy to forgo gifts and move the focus off of herself.  

Should be a fun little party!
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The lure of midnight

Jan. 1, 2008

My kids told me that last August I had told them they could stay up till midnight on New Year's Eve.  I don't remember that, but I figure it's possible I made a rash statement like that, so we let them stay up.  

It wasn't as exciting as they expected.  We watched a movie - a dvd of the 1933 version of Alice in Wonderland, of which I had great memories from my childhood, and which I discovered yesterday is very, very weird.   They liked it, though, I guess.  Then we played a card game and ended the evening by watching a show on zebras on Animal Planet.  We turned the tv back to the channel with the ball coming down from Times Square - we thought - but missed that moment.  Then we made a quick call to some friends in Oregon and headed to bed.   Oh, right before bed J remembered to open his new page-a-day Duct Tape Calendar.  Unfortunately there was no duct tape project for today.  Or maybe fortunately, for he'd probably want to stay up to do it...

Of course I didn't let them sleep too late this morning or there will be sleeping trouble tonight!  So everyone is a little lazy today.  They are glad they stayed up but I don't think they will be so anxious next year.  I'm glad we didn't make the night more exciting for them!

Happy New Year!
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They do grow up, sort of

Dec. 10, 2007

My 10 year old boy is growing up, changing.  He loves to show me his new armpit hair.  He's also starting to get little breakouts.  Zits!   We had a short casual talk about body changes, emphasizing the importance of cleanliness as the body starts to produce more oil.  He listened interestedly but had only one question about this body oil:  "Is it flammable?" 

That's my boy, always looking for an explosion - even if it's on his own head.
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Christmas and family disagreements

Nov. 29, 2007

Leigh reminded me that not everyone has it as easy as I do with regard to families and disagreements over holiday issues like Santa:

Sigh. I let my mother bully me into doing Santa (dh really didn't care one way or another.). I completely regret it now, but I don't want to burst the bubble right here at Christmas time, kwim? When my oldest found out that Santa wasn't real, she was five...she just figured it out herself, and I confirmed it. My mom told her behind my back that I was wrong, and that Santa really was real...that I just didn't know what I was talking about. How's that for family controversy? LOL

Sometimes our families disagree with our decisions.  I guess even when my kids are adults I will think they should do things the way I do.

My mother really blessed me (and released me from guilt) when I was getting married.  She told me to start making new traditions with my new family.  She said I didn't have to do everything the way she had, just the things I really liked.   She advised me to take some traditions from my husband's family and incorporate them into our family.  She told me that there would be Christmases when I would be away from her, and she might be alone, and that was OK.  She told me that if I had kids, I would be their mother, not her, and she would try not to interfere. 

I was 39 when she was telling me this, and she was 79.  She only had 7 years to interfere in my married life.  But she was true to her word! 

My mother-in-law doesn't interfere either.  Oh, I can think of a few times I might have annoyed her by doing something in a way she didn't like.  But other people have voiced their (negative) opinions and occasionally tried to undermine our parenting.   My husband and I always had unity of thought and confidence in what we were doing.  So even in the face of criticism we were able to say "thanks, but we're doing it this way."  And when we are confident and united, I think we will get more respect.

Now there will always be people who that won't work with, I guess.  We have to do our best to love them anyway, and minimize their impact on our kids.   Sometimes I guess we might have to be firm.  We might have to contradict our parents when they tell our kids some things, and we might have to hurt their feelings.   Around the holidays, that's harder than ever.  So sometimes we might just have to let them win.  Sometimes we have to pick our battles.  When it's a minor issue, like Santa or no Santa, we can afford to be gracious.  
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Favorite Christmas Music

Nov. 29, 2007

Right now I'm listening to Adagio Trio's Winter Gift cd. It is gorgeous instrumental music: harp, flute and cello. This has a few songs I don't usually see on Christmas collections: "Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence," "Of the Father's Love Begotten." Perfect for a quiet night.

Other favorites:

"Tis the Season: Christmas Guitar" by Dick Freymuth. I really like guitar music.

"A Scottish Christmas" because we like Scottish music.

Third Day's "Christmas Offerings" because I like rock and roll. I also have a few of the "Very Special Christmas" cds, from back when those included artists like Springsteen and Tom Petty. I don't like all the songs so I don't listen to them all that often.

We also have "Elvis' Christmas," mostly for "Blue Christmas." E hates this so we don't play it too much when she's around. Wow, I can't even find the one we have on Amazon. I didn't realize Elvis had recorded so many Christmas albums. Or maybe they made new covers...

Not strictly music, we love "A Classical Kids' Christmas" for the story as well.

Of course, "The Nutcracker." I had the Andre Previn version on LP years ago; I miss it and should look for it again. The one I have is already in the car and I don't know which version it is; we love it, but...

Also already in the car:

Handel's "Messiah" - a highlights CD by Portland Baroque Orchestra. We also have a full version, but let's face it, the choruses are the best part. I love it hearing my kids sing along. "For unto us a child is born..."

Da Capo Players Christmas Fantasia.

James Taylor at Christmas. JT is a sentimental favorite of mine; there are some good songs but I dislike his rearrangements of some standards. I don't like my Christmas music messed with! I feel the same way about Steven Curtis Chapman's "The Music of Christmas." My kids like it a lot, and many songs are good, but his "Angels We Have Heard On High" just isn't right to me.

There are other Christmas cds here, by Mannheim Steamroller, Ray Charles, BB King. Some Renaissance and Medieval music, some cathedral choirs.

We like a lot of variety here! These were collected over many years; some were given as gifts. We rarely buy more than one a year. Oh, maybe in the first years of marriage when there were two incomes and no kids, we might have gone a little crazy. I guess we built up our library then.

I am missing an important piece of Christmas music: Brenda Lee's "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree." I have to rely on the radio for that one. Maybe this year I'll find that one in the store and add it to the collection.
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Sprit of Christmas award

Nov. 27, 2007

Sandy over at Falling Like Rain gave me a Spirit of Christmas award. But she is really the one with the right spirit, as you can see if you stop by to read her post Perfecting Christmas.

Maybe it's because I'm getting older, but I just don't get upset about having a perfect Christmas anymore. There are really just a few things I need:

- My family around me - husband and kids, and as much extended family as practical.

- Ingredients and ability to make a few holiday treats, like pumpkin bread and cranberry cheesecake bars... This year I may try my hand at English toffee again. It was always too damp in Oregon to make it work.

- My favorite Christmas music.

- A few good Christmas books, beginning with A Christmas Carol. We have started a tradition with Dad reading this aloud to all of us. Don't assume your kids are too young for it. Mine started hearing it around age 6. I think I'll look for the Mr. Magoo version on DVD at the library...

- The Nutcracker, in one form or another. This year, it'll be on DVD and CD. A live performance, maybe next year.

- A tree, maybe. I think I could live without the tree. For many years when I was single, my only decoration was an ornament bowl. Just a crystal bowl my uncle had sent me from Germany, filled with some sequin-and-bead ornaments I'd made, mixed with standard glass balls. I usually do some form of that every year now, along with the tree and the greenery and the wreaths and...
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Jesse Trees and Advent Wreaths

Nov. 25, 2007

For the last few years, we have tried to put together a Jesse Tree as part of our Christmas celebration. The Jesse Tree tells the story of redemption via daily reading and ornaments to put on a tree. Now, it's always those daily readings that get to us. We'll get busy and miss a day. Or two. Then we're rushing to catch up. Who needs the stress? So this year we may skip the tree, though I will bring the ornaments from previous years out and see if the kids want to try again. They are old enough to run it, if they are interested. Or they may be too old altogether. They are pretty good at seeing Christ in the Old Testament so it's more of a reminder and a sort of funnish thing to do than a real lesson for them anymore.

Another area where we fall down in with the Advent Wreath. Literally. The last 2 years I made my own and while it looked nice, the candles didn't quite fit the holders so they were always falling over. I was also having a hard time finding the candles. This year, since we moved, I have no ideas where the various parts are, so I ordered a premade wreath with candles from the Current catalog. I also plan to skip the daily readings as I've tried to do in the past, and stick to Sundays only.

This year I just want to avoid getting trapped into doing something we can't keep up, then feeling bad or rushed about it. It's ludicrous to turn these methods of learning about redemption into an obligation, something to be forced into the day.

If my kids never make a Jesse tree, maybe my grandchildren will! Will it really matter? Will my kids end up in therapy because we never got a Jesse Tree done, or because their mother yelled at them to work on the Jesse Tree?
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Toys your children can't live without

Nov. 24, 2007

Are there some? Why is that? Why are there toys your children feel they must have? Or that you feel they must have?

Are you one of those parents who is running around, frantic to get the latest coolest thing for your kid? Why? How did a toy or other item get to be so important to you or to him?

Is it the marketing of the product? Did your child see the advertisements and decide he needed that toy desperately too? How did he become so susceptible to advertising?

Is it because "all the other kids have it?" Does your child feel she won't fit in if she doesn't have what all the other kids have? How did she come to feel that way?

Is it because you are afraid you will be considered a bad parent if your child does not have whatever items are "hot" right now? Is it because you don't want to disappoint your child on Christmas morning? How did your child grow to have the expectation that you (or Santa) would and could make all his dreams come true?

Are you buying your child things you don't really like or think your child should have, but feel like you have to give in to avoid a Christmas morning tantrum?

Toys and games are great. Stuff is great! Some things are useful, like Legos and Playmobil and dollhouses and building blocks. Some are just fun, like Nerf guns. Some are both. I can't say much about game systems because I don't have any experience with them. I imagine some games are both useful and fun. Some I've heard of seem to be neither.

I think giving and receiving presents is part of the spirit of Christmas. Christians celebrate the greatest gift of all, our Lord Jesus Christ. Folks who celebrate "secular" or the cultural holiday of Christmas are celebrating the spirit of love and giving.

But when a child claims they need, really need a certain thing, something is wrong. When a parent expends a frantic effort (and perhaps pays an inflated price) to obtain some desirable item, something is wrong.

If you have young children, don't let them get caught up in advertising and peer pressure so that they feel they need certain things to survive. If you have older children that are already caught up in it, look at the way you respond to advertising or to peer pressure. Are you coveting your neighbor's new living room furniture or cellphone? Do your kids see you pining for the newest coolest things? Are you discontent and showing it?

Start inoculating your kids against the "must haves" now. It might be painful at first, but eventually everyone will be more content and Christmas can be more joyful.

(This post has been in my head for a while but also partly inspired by this from the Headmistress at the Common Room.)
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Musings of a slacker homeschool Mom
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