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Daddy on the Road, Mommy on the Run
December 1, 2006
Me in a list
You know what I've discovered?
I'm still not the cool kid.
Most things I try, need trying again.
I am so highly relational that 99% of all I do is done better talking on the phone.
My feelings aren't worn on my sleeve, they might actually be knitted into it.
I am not naturally organized.
I am naturally messy.
My desire to sleep late is virtually unaffected by an earlier bedtime.
I want to lose weight.
I want to exercise nada.
I like to eat.
The job I *thought* God was calling me to is not the job I have.
I may never have my *but I thought* job.
There are people in my life who make me very insecure.
I'm obnoxious and talkative when frightened.
I get scared easily.
Please note length of list.
My relationship with certain family members is not what it should be.
Certain family members means my dad.
My children are my greatest joy and my greatest weakness.
I need Cliff Notes on patience.
I don't want to work out my salvation with fear and trembling (especially in regards to gaining patience)
I prefer no work out at all.
Trying to mail a package to Indonesia will teach patience.
3 and 4 year olds can be convinced that they are picnicing in a UPS store for an hour.
Mailing a package to Indonesia takes about and hour and a half.
3 and 4 year olds have a way of producing fear and trembling.
I learned a lot about patience today.
Something really scary happened to our family over Thanksgiving.
I keep snatching it back off the altar.
It really is over.
I tend to hang onto things too long.
I have emotional and material baggage.
Refer to I am naturally messy.
There are several people I've lost that I miss sorely.
Many times I try to "shove" others into their place.
People don't do well when shoved.
The only persons' approval I really, really want I will probably never receive.
The way I want to see myself is likely an unattainable goal.
I am a perfectionist.
I tend to feel frustrated a good bit of the time.
I am married to a man with a pure spiritual gift of faith.
We tend to feel frustrated with each other at times.
My children have the spiritual gifts of faith and service.
I have other gifts and pray longer to have my family's level of faith.
God hears a lot about my frustrations.
I do a lot of talking to God.
I don't do as much listening to God.
Were He not God, He would probably feel frustrated with me a good bit of the time.
I don't always like who I am.
I'm not who I thought I was.
It doesn't matter what I think anyway.
Why? Because I have learned that
Forgetting what is behind, I can push forward to the goals He has set for me.
The LORD will fulfill His purpose for my life.
I only see through a mirror darkly; one day I will see face to face.
I hate mirrors.
I love the faces of loved ones.
I was born for a different world.
There is no height, nor depth, no principality, no darkness, no famine, persecution, sword, not anything in creation that could remove His love for me.
I am stunned silent by this thought.
Nothing is impossible with the God I serve.
Instantaneous, miraculous weight loss is unlikely.
I might keep praying.
He will likely keep laughing.
He and I get along well.
I have been given everything I need for life and godliness.
That is, for my life.
Not someone else's life.
I have my daily bread, from His hand, with His blessing.
I'm to share the Love, not the Lesson.
There's no obstacle I'm quaking over that He can't see past.
That sounds trite.
It makes me feel better.
He knows the end from the beginning.
Amen.
I know Who I believe, and I'm convinced He is able to keep all that I commit to Him against that day.
I look forward to that day.
I'd prefer it wait until my husband is home.
I miss D, sorely.
He is doing what the LORD has called him to do.
There is peace in the midst of His will; He promises.
Peace -- not silence.
Peace -- not stillness.
Peace -- not solitude.
The LORD looks with compassion at my ruins, and He will make the deserts in my soul like springs of water, "Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing."
The LORD is my Rock and my salvation, of whom shall I be afraid?
I am accepted in the Beloved.
That's more important that "their" acceptance.
I find healing in that.
He has hidden me in the clefts of the Rock.
I am hidden in Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me.
The life I live here, in my body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loves me and gave Himself for me.
It feels good when I take care of this body.
My relationship with Him is by the gift of faith, not of works, I will never be able to boast.
But if I do boast, may it only be in the LORD Jesus Christ, my salvation.
I will boast -- not about Him -- left to my own devices.
He never leaves me or forsakes me.
I don't do as much boasting anymore.
We are more than conquerors through Him who loves us.
We have been given exceedingly, abundantly beyond all we could ask or imagine.
We are a thankful family.
My mouth will pour forth His praise.
Blessing and cursing cannot come from the same place.
My motivation for a God-honoring mouth isn't a "Don't do" list.
My motivation is a "He has done" list.
It's easier to be a clean-ie with this list.
Behold! He is doing a new thing in me! Old things have passed away, all things have become new.
Changed from Glory to Glory I am.
One little bit at a time.
I will never battle the stronghold of laziness or messiness the way I did before Thanksgiving.
There is praise to be given to Him for the subtle -- and not so subtle -- ways He is changing me.
Said changes may not result in *but I thought* jobs.
Said changes will result in new opportunities.
No eye has seen nor ear has heard nor mind has conceived of what He has prepared for those who love Him.
He has good works planned -- in advance -- for us to do.
This includes mailing certain packages to Indonesia.
He doesn't just prepare for the cool kids.
He doesn't care how many friends I have.
He does long to fill my cup with good things that I may pour it out again.
I'm ready to be a pitcher, not a vase.
I'm not who I thought I was -- "I'm not who I'm going to be, but thank God I'm not what I was either."
There is freedom in Christ.
Oh LORD, such tremendous freedom!
Thank You, I am humbled...
Amen
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Posted by
Anonymous 
December 2, 2006 - Untitled Comment