Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

Dad has had several days of doctors' appointments this week, and yet another one tomorrow.  Tomorrow's is at nearly the exact same time as Mike's mother's appointment with the oncologist.  So tomorrow should be interesting...

We found out this week that Dad's mitral valve has a moderate leakage, that his heart is still beating in a atrial fibrillation pattern, and that they just really don't know for sure what to do about it.  He needs to be on Coumadin, a blood thinner, but has had problems with that before, and ended up in the hospital due to heavy bleeding.  However, if he doesn't take it, there is a risk of stroke from blood clots that form behind the heart valves while he is in a-fib.  They could shock the heart back into proper rhythm, but this would also require the use of the Coumadin for around 6 weeks. 

This is all complicated by the fact that he needs to go on a newly released oral chemo drug, Tarceva, for his lung cancer, which has come back in his "good" lung.  The doctors don't seem to know how taking that will affect the protocol they would normally use for his heart.  And vice-versa, how taking care of the heart before the cancer will affect the treatment of his cancer.  It's a catch-22 situation.  You can't fix one problem because it will adversely affect the other. So he has 2 fixable things, and yet they can't be fixed...  

Please pray that somehow they will sort this all out.  The cardiologist put him on a 24 hour halter monitor today, which they will scan this weekend. Then he will be talking with the oncologist and they will try to decide what the best thing to do will be.  I know that I need to leave this in God's hands, but it is so hard!  

Mike's mom is recovering nicely from the full mastectomy, and has had one drain taken out, one still to go.  Tomorrow the oncologist (the same one my dad sees) will tell her what she recommends for follow-up treatment. Since the tumor was so large, and closer to the bone than they thought, they need to do either chemo, radiation, or a combination of both.  I guess we'll find out which tomorrow. 

My Aunt Ginny is back in her own home now, and although she now has to do all of her walking with a walker, she is glad to be in her own home, and not in the nursing home anymore.  Her little dog Lucy was glad to see her back!   Aunt Mary will be seeing her oncologist on the 27th to decide whether to have the surgery for her colon cancer or not, and what follow-up treatment will be necessary.  

I'm glad that they are all doing as well as can be expected, and also that they all seem to be coping with all of this much better than I am doing.  It is so very, very hard to see everyone that I have loved growing old, and knowing that one day soon I will be without them.  It is even harder to make myself realize that I will soon be the older generation in my family...what a hard concept to grasp... 

I think there is a part of me that wants to be a little girl again, and be the one who is taken care of, instead of the one who is taking care of.  I want my mom back to take care of me, and Dad to be young and strong and healthy again, just like he was just a year ago.  And how wonderful it would be to see my aunts running up my front steps to visit, (and to help clean house!) the way they used to do. 

Reminds me of "Our Town," when Emily is in the cemetery, and is talking about how people don't appreciate life when they have it.  She says, "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?--every, every minute?"   There was so much I took for granted that now is gone, never to return.  How I wish that I had "realized life" more when I had all these dear people running in and out all the time...   I'd give anything to have it all to do over again...