Posted in Lessons from Life

Why is it that times of financial upheaval tend to bring out the worst in us, instead of the best? I hate to admit that I have not been the best of wives or mothers lately. During the American Revolution, Thomas Paine once wrote, "These are the times that try men's souls." These last few years have certainly tried ours...

One thing that I have found, to my own shame, is that I constantly find myself wanting things the way they used to be, instead of finding the joys that are in the present. In times like this, I need to focus on today instead of yesterday, and look for the pleasures of each and every new day. It is easy to focus on the bad, as it seems to surround us. However, each day is a gift that God has given us, and how sad He must be when we don't take that gift from His hands in gratitude, tear open the wrappings, and look for the good things that are hidden inside.

Today I did just that. I refused to look at the yesterdays except with gratitude for the memories they have given me and the lessons they have taught me. Instead, I took today, and thanked God for this gift. It took some work to unwrap this day, and dig through all the packaging to find the good things that were hidden deep down in the box. But I found them!

Today brought some special moments. A package from my brother contained three photos of me with my Daddy, taken when I was a toddler. What a smile they brought to my face! On many days, I would have looked at those same pictures and thought to myself, "Why can't we still live like that? Why can't I still be living the way I did as a child, and all through the rest of our marriage?" Instead, I chose to focus on the fact that one of today's gifts was a thoughtful brother who took time to send me some happy memories, and thereby reassure me of his love for his big sister.

Another special gift was a repaired tape recorder. Sad to say, I whined and complained last night when I couldn't play a cassette tape, as all of our tape players were broken, and we had never been able to repair any of them. I was mean, and grouchy, and ugly. All of that because I wanted to listen to a tape. Sounds rather childish when I think back on it. My husband came downstairs with a very old tape player this morning, and said, "Here, look! I fixed this one for you!" What a gift to know that despite my ugliness, my husband cared enough about my wanting to listen to that tape, that he took time to fix that old tape player for me. Another gift of love.

Other gifts today were:

• A bowl of beef and noodles made from the cooked beef we rescued from the freezer the other night when it thawed everything out as it died. They tasted SO GOOD!
• A beautiful email from a lady on the PPROM Pregnancy email list, telling me what a wonderful mom and grandma I am, and asking me to write to her own mother. That warmed my heart as much as the noodles warmed my tummy!
• A large order from a customer, along with an email telling how much she loves to do business with me, and that she will be telling all her friends about me. That gave me the gift of hope for the future.
• A lively, ornery Black Lab named Camp. My faithful friend of over 14 years has been really bad this winter, but today he was as frisky as can be. It brought a smile to my face to see him acting like a pup again with our younger dog. Maybe he'll be a gift I get to keep a bit longer than I had thought???
• A piece of blueberry pie that BJ and I found on sale at a ridiculously low price at the grocery last night, and it is absolutely the largest blueberry pie I have ever seen in my life. What a blessing to have something that we normally could never have put in our cart. Yum!
• A box of candy from my daughter and granddaughter. They picked them out bulk one by one, just the right fillings, just for me.
• An offer of more hours at work from my other daughter. Even though I can't do it, her thoughtfulness in offering the extra hours to me before hiring someone else shows she cares about our situation.
• Sitting here in my neatly arranged library/office. My son and his wife cleaned and sorted it, and moved an old love seat into over Christmas when they were home. They knew how much I love this room, and they fixed it up as a small sanctuary for me. Just sitting here reminds me of their love.

I am so thankful that I chose to accept the simple things that God gave me today, and find joy in them. It is far better than mourning over all the yesterdays of life. Today still finds us in circumstances that try men's souls. But today, I am in hopes that when God tried my soul, He found that I had stood up to the trials in a way that made Him proud to be my Father.