Posted in Children Seized by Social Workers

I have been following two important cases here in Ohio involving the Department of Children's Services.  One, the "children in cages" case, reached the national media.  Robert Surgenor, an expert on Ohio law concerning child neglect and abuse, speaks at the CHEO convention each year, and is considered an expert witness at trials.  He has sent out updates on this case from the beginning of the time his organization, Family Defense Network, became involved.  Over the next couple weeks, I'll be posting these, so that you can hear the "real" story of the Gravelle family. 

Also, please pray for another family, the Pastor Randy Wickard family, who also had an adopted son removed from their home.  This case is more personal for me, as Randy and his wife, Eunice, babysat BJ when he was young, and they attended our church.  Randy would NEVER would have done the things he has been accused of.  I will post updates on his case, as well.  

From: "Family Defense Network"

Sent: Monday, January 16, 2006 9:54 PM
Subject: Gravelle thank you note

Folks:

This is the note that the Gravelles wanted me to forward to you.



I am writing for two reasons.  I want to first say that we are truly sorry for not sending formal "Thank You" cards sooner.  There are no excuses for bad manners in spite of the circumstances.  As you know our circumstances perhaps you will grant us a small portion of grace in understanding why we have been so remiss in our duty to show our appreciation of your GOD given, GRACE granting, financial help.

We want you to know that the words "thank you" are simply inadequate to express our most intimate expressions of gratitude.  Your life sustaining gifts have redefined our belief in a supreme GOD.  For the first month or two we simply sat and asked repeatedly "Why?"  We are still wondering "Why" but not with the degree of importance as then. Please do not ever underestimate the 'gift' you have given us.

I am sure in this day and time the gift you have given was at a substantial sacrifice on your part.  It will never cease to amaze me how people we haven't seen for so long or don't know at all can reach so deep into their pockets to help us without question. Huron County told our kids that we would not have a home for them to come back to because we would be bankrupt by the time they got through with us.  If not for you that would be true. Please, please understand you gave a gift that will never end.

Your gift has not only allowed us to remain in our home but it has given us a new hope. We felt after the media was through with us there would never, ever be anywhere we could go and hold our heads up again.  Our home was our only sanctuary and the county violated that on September 9, 2005.  We did not know how we could ever come back here after the first court date and face this house again.  But we have no where else to go and this is our home.  You have made that possible.  How can we say "Thank You" and have you fully comprehend what is in our hearts, our future, our children without you now.  This is only possible because you have been a part of our today and our tomorrows because of your sacrifice.

Our second reason for writing is to let you know that you have given us hope.  We truly thought when this tragedy hit the media and we saw what the county had done our lives were over.  But, GOD used a handful of people, as HE has always done, to restore HIS people back to HIMSELF.  Please try to understand, we are truly grateful for the blessing of being able to keep our home after the county took our children.  But we want you to embrace the importance that your sacrificial gift has done in our SPIRITual walk.  GOD used you to insure that our faith, though shaken, was not destroyed.

I believe that GOD is who HE says HE is.  In HIS word JESUS tells that whoever cares for one of HIS people will be rewarded.  I always knew GOD existed.  What I didn't know was that people like you existed.  Your gift allowed us to sit day after day and know that there are still wonderful people out there and that some day by GOD's GRACE we will meet either for the first time or as renewed friendships.

I pray that the LORD's GRACE is sufficient to return all of our children and on that day you will come and be a part of that.  We will forever be in your debt for the compassion you have show this family.

In HIS GRACE,
Michael & Sharen Gravelle 

From: "Family Defense Network"

Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2006 9:51 PM
Subject: Gravelle hearing surprise!

Dear Folks:

The Gravelles appeared today for the custody hearing that was to determine where their eleven children were to be placed. They have tried everything in their power to comply with the demands of Children's Services, including dismantling the beds, removing the alarms, and other demands that in my opinion, are just plain ridiculous. The DCFS has said all along that if the Gravelles cooperated, that reunification was possible. I always had my doubts.

It was apparent today that the social workers and prosecutors involved in this case had another plan in mind. The Huron County Department of Children's Services submitted to the judge a complete rejection of any reunification between Michael and Sharen Gravelle and any of their eleven children. They also requested that there be absolutely no contact or communication between the parents and any of the children, including telephone calls and e-mails. They referred to the Gravelle's parenting style as "harsh and controlling." (That sounds like my children complaining when they were younger). The DCFS also requested an end to all visitation between the parents and children, and stated their intent to take permanent custody.

Folks, I really am starting to think that the judge is having second thoughts about these social workers. The judge described the request by Children's Services as "the family law equivalent of the death penalty." The Guardian Ad Litem, the attorney appointed by the court to represent the children, admitted that what the social workers were trying to do was "extreme." The prosecutor tried to convince the judge that the children didn't want to go home. He told the judge that when the Gravelles had their last visitation with the children, a few of the children didn't want to go into the room to see their parents. The Gravelle's attorney, Ken Myers, was quick to point out that the same reaction is seen in children during divorce cases, not because the children don't love the parent, but because they are confused about everything that is going on.

The foster parents who are now caring for the Gravelle children are now complaining to the judge. One of the children is deliberately urinating on the living room carpeting, and the foster parents want reimbursed for the cost of the cleaning. One foster parent is demanding that the county pay for Depends underwear for the child they are caring for because the child is wrecking their furniture. I find this whining most amusing, simply because these people are complaining about things that the Gravelles have addressed successfully in their home, until the children were ripped form their custody.

The judge denied the county's requests and continued the hearing until next month. He not only denied the DCFS request to discontinue visitation between the parents and the children, he ruled to INCREASE visitation! The final custody hearing will be held on February 22nd, 23rd, and 24th. It is then that the County Prosecutor will try to smear the good name of the Gravelles by digging up garbage from years past. But there is more time for Ken Myers to prepare for that hearing.

And you will love this! The Court Reporter had a stunned look on her face when she was handed the down payment of $2500.00 to begin transcribing the hearings. I am confident that we will come up with the $7000.00 needed to pay for the entire transcripts.

I have seen this type of turn-around by the court in the past. I really believe that these folks are afraid of an appeal being filed in the District Court. Sharen Gravelle told me tonight that as they were preparing to leave the courtroom, the judge stated to Ken Myers, "Well, now you can prepare for your appeal."

For all of you who were praying for the Gravelles today, thank you! We need to continue praying that Ken Myers will effectively appeal this case, and that the decision of the higher court will be on the side of Michael and Sharen Gravelle!

Robert R. Surgenor Sr.
Family Defense Network of Ohio
1-800-438-8277 

 From: "Family Defense Network"

Sent: Tuesday, January 24, 2006 4:03 PM
Subject: Gravelle humor

Dear Folks:

I just got off the telephone with Michael and Sharen Gravelle. We talked mostly about the upcoming hearing and the subsequent appeal. Michael told me that they had a supervised visitation with the children the other day, and a few thing Mike told me I found a bit humorous.

It appears that the foster parents who are now caring for the Gravelle children are experiencing a few "problems" with the children. One of the girls is practicing one of her favorite vices, urinating all over the foster parent's carpeting. The foster parents can't get her to stop. The carpet is getting ruined. The Gravelles had broke her of the habit.

One of the foster families had to call the local police to get two of the children off the roof of their car parked in the driveway. The boys were having a good old time jumping up and down on the roof, and the foster parents couldn't grab them, so they called the police. I can't imagine what that dispatched call sounded like. I always wondered how much pressure it would take to collapse a car roof into the interior.

One foster parent can't keep one of the children from acting out, and the child, and everything around it, is placed at risk. The foster parent called Children's Services for advice. The social worker told the parent to "restrain" the child (for her own protection, of course!). Funny, when the Gravelles restrained their children, it was ruled illegal.

There is one sad thing to mention. The three year old boy came to the visitation with a cast on his arm. It seems that somehow, he broke his arm. In the eight years that the Gravelles cared for these children, nobody ever got their arms broken.

It seems like the Gravelles may have known what they were doing after all!

Robert R. Surgenor Sr.
Family Defense Network of Ohio
1-800-438-8277