Do you have daughters?  Are you looking for resources that will help you nurture them spiritually in a practical way?  Let me recommend the book "Girl Talk".  This book, written by Carolyn Mahaney and her daughter, Nicole Whitacre, is Scripturally sound and very practical.  The subtitle is "Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood", and that is just what it is.  Each chapter is written by either Carolyn or Nicole with either mothers or daughters as the target, but you each read each chapter, and there are questions in the back of the book to get your conversation started - chances are good that it will gain momentum and go beyond the suggested questions.

The book is divided into 2 sections, Forging the Mother- Daughter Bond and Biblical Womanhood in the Real World.  The first section deals with topics like the Biblical role of a mom in a daughters life, Biblical communication, dealing with conflicts, a mother's example and a daughters duty. 

The second section talks about such things as friends, biblical beauty, learning to keep a home and courtship and marriage. 

My almost 12 year old and I are taking an evening once a week to have tea and discuss a chapter in this book.  It has been a catalyst in our relationship for discussion, and has brought my attention to this other beautiful person that is growing up in my home.  Recent events had me preoccupied and I had neglected my relationship with her.  This book has helped me put my daughter back in focus, and sharpened my skills as a mom by giving me practical encouragment to fulfill the role that God has for me in my daughters' life. 

If you are struggling at all with your relationship to your daughter, or your relationship is good and you want to make it better, this book is for you. If your daughter will not read it with you, you can still read it yourself and gain practical tips on improving your relationship.  Don't be content to let things remain as they are.  Take advantage of every opportunity to be the mother that God wants you to be.  This book can give you valuable help with that. 

Found this draft on my blog today- written two years ago ( as you can see by the date) during a very trying time.  Here it is with just a little editing.

What is God's name for you?  We often ponder, and rightly so, the names of God.  El Shaddai, Addonai, The Door, The Way, Wonderful, Counselor, Jehovah Jireh.  All of these help us to know God.  They help us to understand him and worship him more ardently. 

Well, I have wondered what God calls me.  A few months ago I was found myself in a place I had not been in before.  I wanted to run away from God.  I thought that it might make life easier- certainly less would be expected of me.  I made a conscious decision not to run, but I also became very aware that I was unable to move forward, either.  It was all I could do to hold on.  I was disappointed in myself for letting myself come to such a position.  I was active in my church, a homeschooling mom of about 18 years experience, a growing Christian for many long years, and I was a mess.  Then one day a conversation with a friend helped me to realize that God was not surprised by my position.  He knew where I was spiritually and emotionally, and if all I could do was stand still, that was better than running away.  I began to know that when it was time to move forward, he would still be there and he would not be scolding me. 

In my devotions I spent a little time considering what God thought of me.  After I acknowledge what I know- that I am a sinner and in desperate need of God's ability to live out his life through me- after I get beyond that, what does God think of me?  Well, the truth of the matter is that he does see me in Christ's righteousness.  He loves me.  Does he judge me?  Yes, but he loves me.  Does he convict me?  Yes, and if he ever stops, I am in trouble, but he loves me.  Does he stop all the pains of life?  No, but he loves me.  Ephesians 1 tells me that He loves me, predestined me, adopted me and redeemed me.  None of that is conditional.

I have decided that God probably calls me Jess- like the other people in my life who know me well and love me just the same -  the people who grew up with me (mostly siblings).  He has affection for me.  He does not call me "Jessie Louise Edwards", like my mother used to when she was frustrated by my behavior.  He calls me Jess.  He might have to call me up hard,  but he still calls me Jess.  It is a sweet, familiar name, and there is love and affection and truth in his voice. 

My goal in sharing what has happened with our child has not been to garner sympathy or pity.  My goal is simply to be open.  To allow you to acknowledge that these things do sometimes happen, even to homeschoolers, and to let you know that if it happens to you, someone else has been through it and survived.  I wish this chapter of my life were complete, that I had already read the closing paragraph on this issue and I could report a happy ending.  I do anticipate one.  If you are going through this, don't be afraid to acknowledge your pain and your confusion. Don't be afraid that you will lose face with other homeschoolers.  My homeschooling friends were the last ones I wanted to tell about my child, but they have also been some of the most caring and supportive.  Remember that God cares.  What has happened is not something that He wanted, either.  But it is something that he can use to make you grow.  Not a challenge you would choose, but something that has come your way none the less.  Never give up, never give up, never give up! 

Color is a marvelous thing.  If the world were black and white, I suppose we wouldn't fuss, because we would just be used to it.  But I'm glad it is not.  Recently I was allowed to choose new dishes, and I chose a set with 8 different colors.  My friend calls them "happy dishes".  When I get my coffee in the morning, I always pick the brightest colored cup there is in the cupboard - scarlet red or peacock blue.  It cheers me up.  It puts a little zip into my day.  It is a little thing, but it brightens my life.  What a great God we have who has thought to offer us such variety and beauty in the things around us.

My last blog wasn't very encouraging.  This is a difficult topic, and one that is not very popular with home schoolers, but since I stopped crying over this major event of my life, I have felt that God would have me share it.  So, now I have shared it with you.  It is a difficult thing.  It has been the source of much soul searching, but you know what?  God is still here and He is still Good.  He cares about my child and knows exactly where they are physically, emotionally and spiritually.  He cares about me and knows the pain and I have felt and the self evaluation I have been through, prayerfully considering every aspect of my life, looking for ways I have failed the Lord and my child.  Confessing sin and weighing every activity.  Striving to stay in tune with him and to know my other children even better.  One child has turned from God, but the others are still here, going through this with us and asking their own questions.  They have suffered loss of fellowship with a sibling and it has been a challenge for them all. 

God also knows those who have come along side us, encouraging us and helping us through this time.  We could not make it without their strength, lifting us up and making themselves available to listen when we need it.  This incident has affected me in ways that I never imagined, but those good friends who called and prayed and cried with us are what has kept us out of the pits of total despair.  We are grateful for them and thank God for them every day.

In November I took a job that no mother wants.  I was not offered any options.  I was forced against my will.  In fact, I believed that, by the Grace of God, I had done all in my power to avoid this job.  Therefore I was totally unprepared for it.  It fell into my lap against my bidding and it sits there still, like a rock, a heavy weight that draws me down with its ugliness and difficulty.  It interferes with my relationships and frustrates me in a myriad of ways. What is this horrific job? In November I officially became the parent of a prodigal child.  

The job includes many things that I have found distasteful.  Anger - with my child and with God.  Tears.  Buckets full.  Dismay, disappointment, denial, self - searching.  Apologies to parents of prodigals that I had judged (very piously and without malice, of course).   Worst of all, the job has no promise of termination.  I'm stuck with it.  The length of my service is dependent on the actions of someone else. 

What's a homeschooler to do?  Press on.  God is still Faithful.  God is still Good.  God is still my ever present help in times of trouble.  There are days when I don't cope very well, but we are doing better.  We are still determined to seek to glorify God with our lives.  Trust me, there is a lot of soul searching and some confession going on.  It has been our desire, since long before we started homeshooling 18 years ago, to be faithful to the end.  That has not changed.  So, we will do this job, and we will somehow learn and grow as a result.

We were able to take a little trip last week.  We headed south to the Lewisburg area and the Greenbriar River.  Tiny cabin, beautiful spot.  Plenty of fish for catching and tasty eating, a beautiful river for wading or canoeing, and peace.  Peace and quiet and separation from the ordinary.  Our respite was brief, but beautiful.  My daughter and I walked down a wooded trail, encountering nervous wild life and gorgeous wild flowers.  A single strand of spider web was strung across our path, taut and silvery in the sunlight and shadow.  The trees arched over our path and we knew that this was a place that needed to be witnessed in every season before we could have a true understanding of its glory. 

Psalm 89:1,2,11

"I will sing of the Lord's great love forever;with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.  I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself.  The heavens are yours, and yours also the earth; you founded the world and all that is in it."

It's hard to believe that it is nearly the end of July.  For us that means a couple of birthdays are on the horizon, and it is time to think seriously about a start date for school.  We've been busy throughout the summer with the general upkeep of life, as well as a few extras.  Tomorrow there is a family reunion.  It will be with my husbands' family and lots of people I have never met, even in 23 years of marriage.  We look forward to meeting geographically distant relatives and expanding our view of the family.  We are especially glad that our son and his beautiful bride will be joining us for the weekend so that they can attend the festivities.  We are anxious to embrace them once again and catch up over a cup of coffee and a few cookies- or maybe a glass of tea.  Our younger girls are learning to play soccer this week.  Our church has combined VBS with soccer- a wonderful concept that has drawn 80 children to hear the Gospel and experience the love of those who invited them, teach them and coach them through the week.  I must confess that all I have provided is a couple of campers and a little help at the refreshment table.  I have never been a big sports fan, but a few soccer skill won't hurt my girls at all.  I'm not saying goodbye to summer, after all, there is time for a few more picnics and a little more fire fly catching, but I fear the end is in sight.

Ever feel like a lemon on the car lot of life?  I have. And this week, right in the middle of a study on contentment, that feeling hit me again.  It took me most of a day to realize that I was busy comparing myself to other women, (not a formula for contentment, by the way) and therefore feeling that there was too much wrong with me for God to find me valuable.  There is a remedy for this problem.  If you have an attitude problem, confess it, and then pray the following verses back to God daily (hourly if needed), until that pesky "feeling" goes away.  Repeat as necessary.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;  your works are wonderful; I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Psalm 139:13-16

We’ve been having a good time at our house lately, enjoying having our oldest daughter home from college, looking forward to our sons’ wedding and seeing the friends and relatives that this great occasion will bring together.  In the midst of our joy, a little troubling news crept into our home last week.  The ministry where my husband labors is suffering.  Without going into specifics, let me just say that the details were enough to make me nervous.  As we started a week of prayer especially for the needs of this ministry, my daily reading led me to Psalm 34.  What a blessing to my nervous soul!!

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me: he delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” (vv. 4&5)  My nervousness was replaced- I was delivered from my fears and they were replaced with a desire to be radiant, as those who look to him. 

“The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.  Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.  Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing.  The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.” (Vv. 7-10) 

In truth, I could quote the whole chapter; it was so encouraging to me.  There was no revelation about the future of the ministry, or the fate of my family, but there was the comfort of God as I read about his care for his children.  I’m thankful that his comfort is so freely offered, and so sincerely given.  By his grace, I will extol the Lord at all times.

God is good... life is good.  Last Sunday morning when I woke up, the house was quiet and my heart was full of joy.  The phrase "You give me joy that's unspeakable....and I like it." kept running through my head, like a warped cd or a broken record.  In my soul I felt it.  As I looked around my perch on the couch in my son's living room, there were people everywhere, parked on air matresses around the room and sleeping soundly.  It was a thrilling thing.  I guess it doesn't take much to thrill an old homeschooler.   A weekend together with my family, watching my son grill for 10 people, watching my future daughter in law handle the squash of the crowd in that tiny apartment, preparing side dishes and trying to unpack shower gifts at the same time.  It was a couple of days that I will never forget.  (Did I mention that my son also graduated from college that weekend?)  How grateful I am to God for moments like that, of peace and joy in the midst of the din of life.