Inventor's Imperium
• Nov. 18, 2009 - AI Project
After compiling all of the matters of Ethics, Circuitry, Mechanics, and Programme (as the British Call-it—as well as Andre McCoughingham, although he doesn't seem to totally understand the idea); I decided to undertake the building of an Artificial Intelligence robot.
Turns out, the robot came together quite nicely and didn't take-up too much time.
The project has worked beyond my wildest dreams... well, almost.
You see, there is one problem: He is Emotionally Unstable.
I don't know what went wrong—was it the program? The Circuitry? The Wiring?
This robot is about 5 feet tall, and is usually seen wandering-about the house in a depressed manner.
He has a very serious, Pessimistic view on the world, and for this reason I have named him Robot • Of • Fully • Untitled • Sadness (I prefer to call him Rofus).
Perhaps sometime, when I actually have the Time (I am working more on my Time Machine, at the moment), Money, Software, and Parts; I will try to make a new robot—perhaps this time he won't talk, so as to avoid Negative Feelings, if you follow me.
-"Professor" Paul H. Madason
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• Nov. 18, 2009 - The "Time Breaker"
Now that I am in the comfort of my house, my mind is calmer and I can work and think more clearly, if you understand me.
One of the ideas I've had for a while is that of a Time Breaker.
A "Timer Breaker" works sort-of like a Circuit-breaker or a fuse—if you change anything (either accidently or intentionally) in the past, it sort-of "Breaks" the time strand and stops it from effecting anything else.
It is sort-of hard to explain in words, but I am beginning to work-on it—I think The Time Breaker will need another, perhaps smaller Time Crystal (in order to "control" the Time Strand).
In a sense, The Time Breaker will be like a miniature Time Machine on it's own, although I intend to make it as a component on the Time Machine.
-Professor Paul H. Madason
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• Nov. 18, 2009 - The Great Helicopter Trek
Continued from last entry...
Once we reached the settlement (thank goodness the inhabitants were civilized), we immediately began searching for Andre McCoughingham.
Our first search was in vain, so we decided to split-up and look for him, planning to meet-up at a cheap fast-food restaurant toward the center of the village.
I decided to head north for a bit, until I found an sort-of Irish/Scottish style restaurant, if you follow me.
I figured this would be the place where Andre would hang-out.
So I went-in and began searching for him.
I looked all over the place, but I couldn't seem to find him ANYWHERE!
Just as I was about to give-up, I asked some older gentlemen—Henry Johnson, Vexorge (I didn't catch his last name) and someone else whose name I didn't catch—if he had seen someone like Andre McCoughingham before.
They hadn't seen him... recently. However, they said that they had heard of someone like Andre wandering-around the village only a day or two ago.
The Waiter (his name was Bob) confirmed this, saying that he actually just ate here scarce 4 hours ago for breakfast (he had the number #14, evidently).
This excited me, but then the men asked me to please stay for a while, as they were curious about me.
As I was curious about them, this worked-out well—so I decided to sit down (I'm not sure why, but Bob decided to sit down, too).
They asked me if I had heard of a recent Space Shuttle flight called the Triple Orange Butterscotch Clean Awesome Space Shuttle Flight Whose Name We Are Still Working On.
I said I had, though it launched only a month or two ago.
They said that they were the members of the flight!
I asked them how, regarding the fact that each member on board was in their early twenties, besides Henry, who was 30.
Then things got really interesting: They said that they had lived through 20 Years in only about 1 month.
About here Henry looked-around for a moment, making sure that the restaurant business was still low and that no one would hear us (for it was he and the other guy whose name I didn't catch who were talking the most—Vexorge seemed rather quiet-like).
Then Henry spoke in a whisper, asking if he could trust me.
I wasn't quite sure what this was really about, so I said, "Uh... Sure..."
The Other Guy Whose Name I Didn't Catch said that, moments after they were in orbit, something went wrong and they ended-up in the Asteroid Belt (this took quite a while)!
Henry then took-on the conversation, saying that, in the Asteroid Belt, they had found a curiously-shaped Asteroid.
They decided to "Abduct" it and, once they had, they began mining-it (they did this because Vexorge noticed some sort of shiny object inside it).
In the end, it turned-out to be a very well-preserved crystal which emitted a strange, bluish light!
Despite many warnings, Vexorge touched it and the crew, the ship, and even a few asteroids were all surrounded by this light and were teleported through Time and Space.
Since then, they had had marvelous adventures (I will not mention them all, for it would be too long in text) over the course of 20 years until, recently, they had finally made-it back to their own time and in the atmosphere of earth—only about 1 month after they had left (this was convenient, considering that their mission was only supposed to be about a month or two long)!
And so they had retired, and came to live on this island—and now they were talking to me.
I identified this crystal as the Time Crystal, and so I decided to make a Space Ship.
Eventually, I realized that I had been away for several hours and that my friends would soon be wondering what happened to be, so I politely thanked Henry and the others, and then went away.
Once I arrived at the cheap fast-food restaurant, I found the others waiting for me there (they were about to send-out yet another search-party, this time for me).
I explained the situation, and they agreed to help me (even Tom, provided he would be able to finish his dinner, first—even though they originally came here for lunch, though I had evidently been away for so long).
And so, after writing some quick "Blueprints" on a Napkin (I had made one like this before, only at the comfort of my little home), we decided to return to the "Helicopter".
After making a few adjustments, we were soon off!
We flew up like a helicopter for a bit (being pushed from the tree, first—even though the thing had grown so heavy, now), so as not to disturb any of the islanders, and then, once we were high enough; I activated the Hydrogen Engines and we were off!
Once we were out of orbit, I realized one problem: We were really................ really...... slow. . `
In such a case, I wasn't quite so sure how to get to the Asteroid Belt before we all starved.
Luckily, Sam had brought some Bananas—though I knew that we would eventually get sick of them.
After a day or two of wishing that there was such thing as a Light Crystal (actually, I found-out later that there is, but I won't get into that now), we noticed a meteorite heading straight for us!
I tried maneuvering away but, this was the strange thing—it followed us, as if it were a magnet!
Then I realized something else—it matched exactly the description of the Asteroid In Which The Time Crystal of Cosmos (I have decided to call it that, as it seemed to fit very nicely) Was Incased!
We managed to get-it in the ship but, no sooner had we, than we heard a loud BOOM! and the ship began spinning very rapidly round and round (I only noticed this because I could see the world spinning outside the view-screen, as I had an artificial gravity emitter on board)!
And here I feel I am about to rant so I will all save you time a skip a bit: It turned-out that the BOOM! was from Phasers being shot at us by Vexorge, the "retired" astronaut, who had been following us in another spaceship(I don't know why we hadn't noticed him), as he knew that we would lead-him to the Time Crystal and because I had so foolishly explained how I had The Time Crystal of The Reef to him and the other gentlemen (I don't think they were actually to blame for any of this).
Just as it seemed everything was going to get really really hot (meaning vaporization), who would show up but Andre McCoughingham!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!("!" x 10000000000000000 • 1000000)
He flew-up in his spaceship, disabled Vexorge's ship (however, I don't think Vexorge is actually dead), and rescued-us on his own ship (ours was too bad a state for any further flying)!
I asked him how he managed to get a spaceship, let alone with actual guns (especially since he is usually known for being quite "Behind-the-times").
This is what he said, in his own words (keep in mind that it wasn't very easy to understand at the time, as he was quite excited and he was talking very fast, with occasional tongue-rolls, if you follow me): "After ye old ship got ye a knocked-down, I hid meself in one of 'dem grates. After a-floatin' for quite a'time, I found meself on a strange island. To be a lettin' ya know where me was, I wrote-down ye little 'ol note for ye, sayin' me want ta find thah food, for my stomach was quite a'tremblin' and a'growlin', for after eating the good stuff, me met myself a lad named Lad. Now Lad had a'problem with his board, so he brought me to the beach for the a flyin' to the ship. In the end, [and here he began panting] I found meself seein' a you all gettin' da shot-up, so with my fax machine I flew to the ship and blower-net for ye to come... er..."
I was blunt with him: "I have no idea what you just said, but you sure seem excited and, anyway, we were in danger—and now we're not—so let's congratulate Andre McCoughingham!"
There was a moments applauding until it got awkward.
So, in short, I am finally in my nice warm bed—showered, teeth brushed, and in a brand new change of clothes—typing this up while Sam snores in the other room.
My Assistant has returned to work, Tom has published a new bestseller regarding his many adventures, and Bob The Waiter (he came with us on the "Helicopter Trip") has offered his services to me, as well.
As for Andre McCoughingham, he has saved-up enough money (thanks to the generosity of Tom and his Bestselling-book) and gone to his homeland of Scotland.
So yeah, all is well—and so is my Time Machine, which is coming along quite nicely.
-Professor Paul H. Madason
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• Oct. 15, 2009 - The Escape From The Island
Continued from last entry...
What I saw was very interesting indeed...
A native village, filled with the hustle and bustle of most indian villages you see.
I then realized that they could see us!
They sent for band of canoes, filled with goofy-looking warriors that I found strangely familiar (see previous post Alexandria!)...
I didn't waste a second—I knew they were hostile, especially since they were waving their spears, glaring, and making strange faces at me—I had Sam ride on my shoulders and told the rest of my company to follow me!
We headed back towards the camp but, the moment we were about halfway there, I noticed that the natives were following us, and were only about a hundred yards or so away!
Eventually, though, we made it to our "Camp".
I decided that I was going to make another obscure invention for getting off the island.
My Assistant said that we should make a boat, but I said that we should probably build something that can fly, as I didn't think we could beat the natives on their canoes.
Tom didn't say anything, because he was in a panic. We still didn't know where My Assistant's Uncle was, nor where the Time Crystal was.
But then, just then, My Monkey pointed-out an ingenious plan: he reviewed a few pages of his newly won Physics book to me, then I understood what he was saying, too.
Tom and Travis still had no idea what on earth the Monkey and I were doing, but they soon found-out later that we were building a helicopter.
Once we had finally finished our helicopter (though, it wasn't really a helicopter, to be precise—for one, it was mostly made out-of local wood, crates, and palm tree leaves; using bananas for fuel, as bananas have a very special composition of vitamins and minerals, that is more unique than any other vegetable or fruit; as Sam pointed-out.)
The Helicopter was placed in a tree—all we had to do to get it running now was to push-it-off and jump back on top of it (I never really was that incredibly athletic, so Sam agreed to do this part).
By the time we were all situated in our makeshift helicopter (Tom and Sir Travis still had absolutely no idea what was going on) the native warriors were close at hand.
Luckily, Sam successfully pushed the "Helicopter" off the tree and jumped back inside.
Just as we were a couple miles out-of sight of the island, we noticed a familiar crate from our ship!
Actually, to be precise, as we went down we discovered that there were actually two crates "shipwrecked" on a nearby island—except this one was civilized (I never did actually find-out which island it was—but I think it was part of the Marshal Islands, or around the same area).
We decided to land and take a closer-look.
Once we landed and were out-of the Helicopter (Tom, who was still a bit out-of-sorts and a bit frightened, decided to stay and "guard it"), I found that one crate was opened and that the other was closed.
I opened the closed one and beheld—The Second Time Crystal!!!!
After I calmed-down a bit, I looked in the other crate.
It turns out, it was completely empty, save for a small note.
I thought that this was probably Andre McCoughingham's crate, and the note confirmed so.
Turns out, he left on the island to search for food—that much I managed to get out of the note, because, evidently; Andre McCoughingham also writes with a Scottish Accent, if you follow me, and it was a bit hard to interpret—Sir Travis did most of it, as he knew him better and was slightly more accustomed to his handwriting.
In the end, all four of us (including the monkey, that is) set out on the island to look for him—there was a settlement up ahead.
-Professor Paul H. Madason.
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• Apr. 27, 2009 - The Invasion Of The Yurt
Continued from last entry...
I awoke on my makeshift bed made mainly of grass and palm-leaves.
I then felt extremely itchy and I wondered why.
I then realized that some leaf-cutter-ants and found our beds and that they had started a picnic.
I immediately sprang-up, out of my bed, out of my yurt, and into the morning air.
It was very early—the sun had just come-up.
As I was staring at the horizon and noticed something in the distance.
At first I thought I was hallucinating but, as I fixed my gaze at the mysterious object, I realized that it wasn't something that had come from my mind.
As it drew closer, I realized that it was a familiar crate from our boat!
Soon, it was on the shore.
I didn't hesitate to open-it.
It was my research assistant, Sir Travis Fatherely III!
After greeting-him and talking about where each-other had been, I remembered Tom!
Almost immediately after my realization, I heard Tom shouting, "AHH! ANTS!!!"
He ran out of our yurt, followed closely by Sam The Monkey.
After I had brushed-off the ants on Tom and Sam, I gathered my companions and began asking what we should do next—Andre McCoffingham, Sir Travis' uncle, was still missing.
Sir Travis suggested that we go to a nearby hill and inspect the island—but I told him we had already done that.
Tom suggested that we go look at some banana-trees he spotted toward the other-side of the island while we were on the hill (see the previous post for more information).
Sam enthusiastically agreed.
Travis, who hadn't eaten for over a day, liked the sound of that.
So we decided to go there.
After our long hike was over we began feasting on bananas.
And, I have to say, I don't want to even hear the word again!
After our "Banana-feast", Tom said, "What's that?"
Tom was pointing to something near the horizon.
It appeared to be a much larger, mainland.
I wondered why we didn't notice it before while on the hill.
I decided to take a closer-look with some binoculars Travis conveniently carried wherever he went.
What I saw was very interesting indeed...
TO BE CONTINUED...
-'Professor' Paul H. Madason
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• Apr. 7, 2009 - The Island
Continued from last entry...
I lay on the beach—unconscious.
The last thing I remembered was something falling on me—I didn't (and still don't) know what it was but, whatever it was, it was large enough, and was going fast enough, to knock me out of my senses.
I awoke to the sun's bright rays.
I felt very dizzy and my head felt heavy and tingly, like a sleeping foot.
I managed to struggle to my feet and see that there was something coming up from the horizon.
I squinted and saw... Tom—on a crate of scuba gear!
He floated to shore where I greeted him.
I suggested to go to a nearby hill and see how big the island was—or if it was, in fact, an island at all.
But Tom, who wasn't used to fasting for long periods, wanted to find something to eat.
I eventually won the argument, though, on condition that we would stop somewhere in the jungle to snack on bananas—so I didn't really quite win.
Anyways, we began our trek and, soon, we were deep in the thick jungle.
We stopped in a small clearing to eat bananas.
After that, we went back into the jungle.
Halfway on journey, a monkey stole my book on advanced physics I was reading.
I tried getting it back but he just wouldn't let go.
Soon, I gave-up and I continued our journey.
Once we made it up the hill, I realized that this was, indeed, and island—and a quite small one, too—only about 10 miles in diameter.
I looked back to see how far away from shore we were and realized that the monkey had followed me and was reading his book he had won from me.
I wondered where Travis and Andre McCoffingham were—anyhow, I realized that we needed to build some kind of temporary shelter, so as not to get soaked (I already was today)—there appeared to be rain-clouds in the distance and, after-all, this was a rain forest.
So, shortly after we arrived, we descended down hill and went back towards the shore.
There, Tom, Sam (that's what I named the monkey), and I built a small yurt around a palm tree.
-'Professor' Paul H. Madason
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• Apr. 5, 2009 - Hurricane!
Continued from last entry...
The crystal was under several layers of coral so we had to drill it out.
The problem was, we didn't have a drill.
Andre, Travis, and I (Tom stayed with the boat) all carried the crystal to the boat—it was much bigger than the previous one and was quite heavy.
Once we finally got it on the boat (after 3 1/2 hours), we began trying to find a way to break-off the coral.
But then I thought, "Remember what happened last time? Perhaps we should keep the coral on."
I then stated my opinion and the others agreed.
Soon, we were on our way back to the mainland.
The sailing was quite peaceful that day—until about 4:00...
A giant hurricane from the east swept over our ship.
"JACK, ME BOY," yelled Andre, "I HAVEN'T SEEN MESELF A HUR-CAN IN AUSTRIA BEFORE!"
"YOU MEAN AUSTRALIA?" shouted Tom.
"THAT IS 'DA LAST TIME YE..."
Just then, a wave, about 40 feet high, swept over our ship—covering everything and everyone inside with cold water.
As soon as the giant wave was over—and I realized I was alive, I looked around my flooded-rented ship.
I saw that Tom had hidden under a crate of scuba-gear and Travis... Where was he?
I looked over the edge of our boat (very carefully, since there was a storm) and heard him shouting and holding onto an anchor.
I found a convenient rope and hoisted him up.
After he coughed-up a little sea-water and I got an octopus off Travis' head, I suddenly remembered Andre McCoffingham!
I looked all around but couldn't find him ANYWHERE!!!!
Then, all of a sudden, the hurricane came to a stop.
I thought, "We must be in the eye of it now..."
I looked around—and realized that the crate that contained the Time Crystal was gone!
Shortly later, the hurricane started again, though.
I wondered why we were having a hurricane in Australia when yet another wave of water, this time over 50 feet high, swept over my ship and the crew!
TO BE CONTINUED...
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• Apr. 5, 2009 - Australia...
"Jack, me boy, you made it!"
"Yup... *Yawn*"
"I have meself some tader-chips."
"Great..."
It was quite hard getting-up at 4:00—for some reason, I thought we would be getting up at 5:00—but that's when we'll be leaving.
I got up, got dressed, picked-up my suitcases I packed previously, walked-out the door—I wouldn't get to eat breakfast, got in my car, drove to Travis' house—his car got impounded because he accidently parked in a fire-lane at the burger king, and, finally, went to the airport.
We had a fine, but interesting flight.
For some reason, people kept staring at Andre and Tom chewed his snacks very loudly.
Once we arrived in Australia (the Great Barrier Reef belongs to it), we rented a car (it was cheap but wasn't in very good shape), drove to a hotel, and went to bed.
The next day, we got-up, ate our first decent meal in about 32 hours, got dressed, and drove to the dock.
There, Andre, who had left earlier, was waiting there with a speedboat.
"Jack me boy, I rented meself 'dis boat but I 'tink it cost more 'den me mind pictured it."
Soon, we were in the Great Barrier Reef.
"Jack, me boy, 'dis scuba-gear is quite heavy but I 'tink it'll work."
Soon, we were in the water and swimming-around.
"Jack, me boy, I 'tink I'm seein' 'da chris stal!" Andre exclaimed.
"You mean crystal." corrected Tom.
"I told ye lad not 'ta correct me English! I haven't 'bein 'critic-izing ye English! I 'tink I..."
"There it is!" exclaimed Travis!
TO BE CONTINUED
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• Mar. 26, 2009 - A Major "Breakthrough"
Once again, we begin our story in the morning; except, this time, I am already out of bed.
I was making my favorite cereal—Cherrios.
I began pouring... and pouring... and pouring...
I was wondering why the bowl wasn't filling-up.
Then I looked over and realized I had poured the entire box all over the counter, floor, and stove.
I thought out-loud, "What do you expect from me? I'm tired!"
Just then I heard the phone ring.
I picked it up, "Hullo?"
"Great news!" said the voice, "I have just discovered a major breakthrough!"
"Who is this? And a 'breakthrough' in what?" I asked.
"You're... Time... Travel... Thingy..."
"Your my time travel thingy?"
"No no, silly! It's me—Travis!"
"Oh, *yawn* hello, Travis. What Time Travel Thingy?"
"Errr... Um..." stuttered Travis.
"Do you mean the Time Crystals?" I asked.
"Yes yes! The Time Crystal! That was it." replied Sir Travis.
"Alright, why do you have a 'breakthrough?'"
"'Cause, in the Great Barrier Reef, I... Wait..."
"Go on..." said I.
"I think I have to introduce you to my uncle, Andre Mccoffingham."
"Mc who?"
"Mccoffingham." replied Travis, "He's my uncle and he's from Scotland. He has a very thick, Celtic Accent."
"I see..." I said.
"Anyways," Travis continued, "He did some research on the internet and noticed a picture with a mysterious object that looks like the other Time Crystal—only blue."
"Okay." I said.
"He said he was going to fax it over to you."
"Fax?" I asked.
"Couldn't he just E-mail it to me, since it was on the internet, after-all."
"He's a bit behind-the-times, if you know what I mean." Sir Travis explained.
"Oh, I see..." I replied.
"Anyways," Sir Travis continued, "You're going to meet him at a Burger King downtown, you'll chat about the Time Thingy and eat lunch there."
"A Burger King?" I asked, rather confused.
"We're kinda on a low budget." Travis explained.
"Well alright then..." I said.
"Goodbye for now..." Sir Travis said.
"Oh, okay, bye."
"Bye!"
"Goodbye..."
"Bye-bye!"
"Bye..."
"Good by-ye!"
"Goodbye..."
"BYE!"
"Please stop..." I said.
"Oh, okay."
"Goodbye." I said.
"Bye!"
*Sir Travis hangs-up*
After I tried my best to clean-up my cereal, I realized it was already 12:00—I better get over there!
I was able to clean everything accept the stove.
Soon, I was on the road—heading for Burger King.
By this time, I was starving because I hadn't had my breakfast.
Soon, I arrived at Burger King.
The place was packed—I looked all around, but, unfortunately, I had no luck in my search for my table.
Then I heard, "These are positively the best burgers I've had in me whole life."
I thought, "I'm gonna take a wild guess that one's mine..."
I went over and saw Sir Travis, Andre Mccoffingham, and Tom.
I wasn't surprised Tom was here—this was one of his most favorite places in the world.
"What took you so long me boy?"
"Had to clean-up a mess." I explained.
"Mess?" asked Tom.
"I'll explain later." I replied.
"Jack, me boy, we've got some work to do!"
"My name isn't Jack—it's Paul H. Madason." I explained.
"Oh," said Mccroffingham, "I just assumed ye name was Jack, me boy."
"He always does that whenever he meets someone new." whispered Sir Travis.
"Is it alright if I call ye Jack, me boy; Jack, me boy?"
"Sure... I... Guess..." I said.
"We have work to do, me lad."
"Alright, what do we have to do?"
"I tried sendin' ye a fax of 'dis picture but, it turns out, ye don't have one, Jack, me boy."
"Ye really should get one of 'deese 'tings, Jack—you must be behind-'de-time—no offense, me boy."
"I have it right here, me lad—see? That's where 'da Chris-tall is."
"You mean crystal." corrected Tom.
"Don't correct me English, me boy."
"Anyway, we have 'ta go to 'da Great Barrie 'Eef. Then we..."
"You mean reef." interrupted Tom.
"I told ye lad not 'ta correct me English, me boy!"
"Well," I began, "I suppose we should get over there, huh?"
"Yup." said Travis, who had been somewhat quiet for the past couple of minutes.
"I've arranged ye areo-plane tickets for us. We be leavin' 5:00 in 'da mornin' tomorrow mornin.'"
"You mean airplane." said Tom.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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• Feb. 25, 2009 - Tom's Dream
*Bring! Bring! Bring!* I was awoken not by my computer, Web-4, but by my cell-phone.
I yawned a big, lazy yawn, stretched, and reached for my cell phone...
"*Yawn* Hullo?"
"Hello?" answered the voice.
"Hello?"
"Hiyas! It's me—Tom!" said Tom rather excitedly.
"Oh hi Tom... *yawn*" I said.
"Hi!" said Tom again.
"Did you just want to muddle me with greetings or did you actually want to talk to me?" I asked.
"Oh yeah!" said Tom, just remembering.
"Well you see," said Tom, "I had this weird dream last night."
"Okay..." I said rather nervously.
"And I was wondering if you could tell me what it meant..." said Tom.
"Well Tom," I said, "Not all dreams have..."
"Great!" said Tom interrupting.
"I think it has something to do with where one of the other Time Crystals are..." he said as he began.
"Okay, so, you and I were in a flying submarine which had no roof—eating chips. It was made entirely out of salami and various dairy products..."
"Okay..." I said nervously.
"Siara, the receptionist that served us at Burger King yesterday, was the pilot and Martin Luthor King Jr. was the Co-Pilot.
"Pardon?" I asked.
"Anyways," he continued, "I overheard Siara and Martin Luthor King Jr..." "You know you don't have to say that every single time right?" I said interrupting. "ANYWAYS," Tom continued, "I overheard Siara and Martin Luthor King Jr. talking about the possibility that, even though it was illegal to drive without a license, I could have a turn driving the plane.
"I thought it was a submarine." I said.
"Shh..." said Tom.
Siara turned to me and, instead of offering me a turn as driver, she gave me a bag of hot roasted peanuts.
"You sure dream about food a lot." I said interrupting again.
"ANYWAYS," he continued again, "After a while, Martin Luthor King Jr. said, on the intercom, "Hello passengers, this is your co-pilot speaking, we are headed straight for French Polynesia and, unfortunately, we have to crash-land because Tom weighs so much." I looked out the window and saw a cartoon-hippo at a gas station. You then stated that we weren't able to crash-land because there were goats up ahead. I look out my window again and saw a cheese-burger. I then realized there were dozens of cheeseburgers. They were floating in the breeze. I put my arm out and..."
"Wait!", I said—once again interrupting, "Didn't it seem odd that your arm didn't break or freeze under the pressure? And how did you put your arm out anyway—You can't even open the windows in an airplane!"
"It's not an airplane," Tom stated, "It's a Submarine."
"Oh that makes plenty of sense." I said with the utmost sarcasm.
"ANYWAYS," Tom began once more, "I leaped out of the submarine and began to attempt to eat the cheeseburgers. The problem was, whenever I reached for a cheeseburger, they kept floating away. I then looked down and saw that guy that acted as Paul Revere on that documentary we watched together last night. He gave me a replica of the popcorn-bowl we ate that day. I was so happy that I leapt 20 feet into the air and I realized that I was flying with the birds—ostriches in this case—and I..."
"Wait!" I said interrupting again.
"What now?" asked Tom sounding rather annoyed.
"First of all," I began, "How did you leap when you were falling in mid-air? And ostriches don't fly!"
"Stop criticizing my dream!" said Tom.
"I wasn't trying to criticize—I was just stating the truth and wondering why you didn't find any of this unusual. Oh, just out of curiosity, what does this have to do with where one of the Time Crystals are?"
There was a short silence (I assumed Tom opened his mouth but nothing came out).
"I don't know." Tom said finally.
"Maybe it's in French Polynesia?" he asked nervously.
-'Professor' Paul H. Madason
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• Feb. 12, 2009 - The Time Crystal—Revealed? Part 10
Continued from last entry...
I made up my mind to get-out the Time Crystal (which I had hidden in my backpack earlier).
I brought it out and... nothing happened.
"Maybe it needs to be shaken or jogged." Tom suggested.
I did likewise but still nothing happened.
"Maybe we could throw it on the sidewalk." Tom suggested again.
"NO WAY—IT COULD BRAKE!"
"You don't have to yell." said Tom holding his ears.
"Sorry—I'm just a little frustrated right now."
I apologized.
There was then a long, awkward silence as the wind began to blow.
I looked over and... Tom wasn't there!
I looked around anxiously for about 3 hours until I decided to go back to the bench and investigate.
Tom was there eating chinese take-out!
"Tom!", I said, "Where have you been?"
"I went to the mall like you told me to but once I got to the chinese restaurant I couldn't help but get some take-out for you too.
"WHAT?!?! I didn't ask you to go to the mall." I said.
"Yes you did—after you yelled." explained Tom.
"No I didn't—I apologized for yelling.
"Oh.", said Tom, "Well at least we have chinese food now."
We ate some chinese food for a while until I got full—Tom had bought way too much food.
Tom then got out and started eating more of his donuts.
"Tom," said I, "don't you think you've eaten enough for today?"
"Well," Tom began.
But at that very moment, a sugar donut fell from Tom's stuffed mouth onto the Time Crystal.
The purple light surrounded us once more and we were soon standing on a broad, grassy plain.
It was very pretty and the air smelled good.
I looked around some more—wondering where we were now.
But I soon saw that Tom had gone up a nearby hill and was sitting there looking at me and eating his donuts.
I climbed up there and sat down next to him.
"Tom," I began, "I think you really shouldn't..."
Then Tom pointed toward the bottom of the other side of the hill.
There were wagons—lots of wagons.
They were being dragged by oxen.
They looked like the ones described during the Oregon Trail.
A signal was given and they all halted.
Soon the people were all talking around the fire and the animals were grazing.
We were watching this when Tom crossed his legs—sending the carton of chinese food down toward the settlers!
"NO!" I yelled.
We were soon chasing after it as it tumbled down the hill.
It landed right in front of a young man with a blond beard.
At first they were frightened but they soon looked at it curiously.
Then the ever-popular purple beam of light surrounded Tom and I once more.
We were in the Pyramids of Giza again!
We leaped for joy and headed down the maze.
Once we were out, we realized we were in some kind of city made entirely out of giant chinese food cartons!
They even had a red mark where Tom spilled a little bit of sauce!
We observed all of this—open mouthed.
We walked a little closer.
Then Tom accidently tripped and, through a domino effect, Tom knocked me over.
"Ow!" I said.
We were helped up by a young man saying, "Sugars... 14%"
"Pardon?" I asked.
The man took one look at Tom with the sugar donuts stuffed in his mouth and ran away in fright.
Tom and I ran until we found an alley between two giant cartons.
I watched from a safe distance and saw that everyone in this city spoke in sections from the nutrition facts on the box!
Then the same purple light surrounded us and Tom and I were in a familiar place.
We saw Old Tom and Old Me on the grassy hill!
Then I realized that Tom was about to cross his legs!
We threw a leaf into Old Tom's face.
Purple light went everywhere in sight we kept disappearing and appearing until we heard a loud BANG!
Tom and I had a huge headache but we then realized that we were the Old Us!
But, somehow, we still were Us Us!
We looked around and decided to go away from the settlers.
We sat at the bottom of the other side of the hill.
Then a the purple light came from the Time Crystal again and surrounded... only Tom!
"TOM!" said I.
Then the purple light came over me and, when it disappeared, I saw a checkered flooring.
I was facing downwards and my neck felt rather choked.
I heard shouting: "Trois, Deux, Un, Allex!"
I then saw a sharp blade fall down toward me when The Purple Light blinded my view.
When I could see I saw I was in an Renaissancish city.
I looked around and saw a building called, "Tom's Pastries."
I went in side and saw an old man at the front door.
"Paul!" he said.
"Where have you been?" he asked.
"Where have you?" I asked.
"It's kind of a long story." he answered.
He came out and hugged me tightly.
"Bubble please..." I said.
"Oh, sorry..." said Tom in His Young Voice.
I looked and saw that he was wearing his ordinary clothes now and that he was at his ordinary age.
"That was weird." I said.
"Really?", asked Tom, "I thought it was pretty cool."
Tom opened his mouth to say something else when The Purple Light surrounded us once more.
We were in the Pyramids of Giza again!
"Woohoo!" shouted Tom.
"Wait..." I said.
I then realized that the Time Crystal was in it's box!
We took it and, after several days, arrived back in Alexandria.
And it was ordinary Alexandria!
"Woohoo!" shouted Tom.
Everyone stared at us.
We laughed nervously and headed for the airport.
Our flight was uneventful (at least compared to what we had just experienced).
Soon, I was back at home 'finishing-up' my Time Machine.
Eventually, I installed the Time Crystal and climbed into the Time Machine.
"Wait!", shouted my assistant, Travis Fatherly, "Don't turn it on yet!"
"Why not?" I asked.
"Do you know what this blueprint says?" he asked.
"Yeah." I said.
"I don't think you really do." he said.
"What makes you think that?" I asked.
"Well," he began, "this Greek word right here for Time Crystal actually means plural also.
"And," he continued, "In the corner over here it says in Greek, 'Times 5!'
"You still need to find 4 more Time Crystals." he explained.
"AW MAN!" I said.
-'Professor' Paul H. Madason
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• Feb. 8, 2009 - The Time Crystal—Revealed? Part 9
Once we arrived at our destination, Tom and I hurried through the Pyramid's Maze (we never took the wrong turn now because we had memorized it) until we arrived in the Time Chamber.
The box was closed!
I opened it slowly and—The Time Crystal was Revealed!
"Woohoo!" said Tom as he extended his arms.
But by doing this, he bumped the Time Crystal out of it's box!
Then, almost instantly, a thin, concentrated, beam of purple light came from the crystal and surrounded us!
I thought to myself, "I'm dead, I'm dead I died I'm dead."
But then I realized we were in sand!
"We're alive!" shouted Tom.
But then I saw... people... lots of people... in togas...
Then I realized we were in a colosseum!
I then heard a growling sound.
"'Scuse me..." said Tom.
"Shhh..." I whispered.
I then realized the sound wasn't Tom at all but a unfriendly looking Lion!
He leaped onto us and right as he was about 2 inches away from my face the same purple light came and surrounded Tom and I once more.
It was dark... very dark...
But then I saw a light!
I thought I REALLY was dead now.
I headed toward the light and I saw... a rotating ball with the numbers: "76" on it.
It was a Gas Station!
"WOOHOO! We're finally in our own time again!" shouted Tom at the top of his lungs.
Then everyone stared at us and there was an uncomfortable awkward silence followed by some crickets.
He then laughed nervously.
There was then a short pause after which Tom yelled at the top of his lungs again, "DONUTS!"
"Ow!" said I, "What donuts?"
Their on sale at the food-mart—I haven't had a sugar donut since we left!"
We then went into the food-mart where Tom bought some donuts and I bought today's paper.
We then sat on a bench as Tom ate his donuts.
I opened my paper and began to read:
"The Georgia Gazette—July 24th, 1973..."
"Tom!" I whispered as I pointed to the date.
"What?" asked Tom with his mouth stuffed.
I pointed again.
Tom almost choked on his donuts.
"So what do we do?" he asked—now with his mouth cleared.
"I'm not entirely sure..." I answered.
TO BE CONTINUED...
-'Professor' Paul H. Madason
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• Jan. 31, 2009 - The Time Crystal—Revealed? Part 8
Continued from last entry...
Boy were we confused!
We looked around some more and saw that everyone seemed to be dressed differently and that all the buildings seemed different as well.
"What are we going to do?" asked Tom.
"Well,", I replied, "I believe that we should stay as hidden as possible and I think we should go over to The Original Great Library of Alexandria and see if there's a clue or something like that."
We did so as stealthy as possible (or as Tom could manage anyways).
Once we arrived there, we managed to sneak in and find an old book.
"What does it say?" Tom asked (he doesn't know Greek).
"The Common Marketing of Seafood." I replied.
"What does that have to do with our problem?" Tom asked.
"Absolutely nothing as far as I'm concerned— You're the one that brought it down from the shelf."
"Well,", said Tom, "I thought that whatever we brought down would conveniently be what we needed."
"I'm afraid life doesn't really work that way." I said.
"So what now?" Tom asked.
"Someone's coming!" I whispered.
I found a cranny to hide in while Tom went inside one of the nearby book-shelves.
A young man walked down the hall writing the same book we saw earlier— "The Time Crystal—Revealed" (I assumed the man was Archemedies).
He was walking with his friend (Eratosthenes), talking what seemed to be about Math.
They had just left when Tom stated how he knew the answer to the math problem they were talking about.
"I know You do, and I do to and I'm sure that many a 5th Grader would know as well but they aren't supposed to know at the moment.
Tom didn't quite understand this but he went with it and changed the subject.
"So how are we going to get back?"
"I'm not sure", I replied, "but I think we should go back to The Pyramids of Giza again."
"Are you sayin' we are going to have to go ALL the way back?!?!?" Tom asked.
"Shhh...", I said, "Yes, I do think so but if you ever want to go back to a time where they have Burger-King then I suggest to follow" (Tom had recently been whining about how much he could go for a Whopper).
So we snuck out of the city the same way we came in and began our long journey back to The Great Pyramid of Giza.
-Professor Paul H. Madason.
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• Jan. 16, 2009 - A Realization
I know this has mostly nothing to do with our story but today I have realized something:
Robots already have simple rights!
They have the rights of Computers and Expensive Merchandise.
That is, they may not be hacked, stolen, or vandalized.
However, I believe there are many other rights that AI Robots will need to have available.
Anyways I thought I would share that with you guys.
-'Professor' Paul H. Madason |
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• Jan. 10, 2009 - The Time Crystal—Revealed? Part 7
Continued from 'The Time Crystal—Revealed? Part 6'
"Those look like..." Tom said nervously.
"Ancient Egyptians..." I said interrupting.
"So... do we just go and get it?" asked Tom.
"No!" I said, "We don't want to break the Time Strand!
"The Time What?" asked Tom.
"Just run!" said I.
We then ran all the way through the Pyramid back to the Time Chamber.
On the way we heard the very same 'SNAP!' or 'POP!'
"We then sat there—panting."
"Phew!" said Tom, "So... what now?"
"I'm not sure." said I, " "I think we better get out of here because, sooner or later, they will come in with the Crystal..."
So we then ran around the maze of the Pyramid.
Eventually, we heard footsteps.
We hid in a small passageway near the side of the main one with the footsteps
I looked and saw...US!
I saw what Tom and I were doing a few hours before we arrived at the Time Chamber!
Then, all of a sudden, just as the old Tom stepped on a Purple Tile, the Tom hiding accidently dropped his Yo-Yo.
"Tom!" said I, "Since when have you had a Yo-Yo?"
"I carry it wherever I go. And I've had it since the second Gra.."
Then I heard my old self yell, "A BOOBY TRAP!!!"
Then I heard the old Tom say, "A WHAT TRAP?"
"JUST RUNNNNNN!!!!" said the old me.
"Uh oh." Said I (not the old one).
Then we saw the old us run down the pathway.
"Oops..." said Tom nervously.
He then got out of hiding and grabbed his Yo-Yo.
We then decided that it was safe to get out of the Pyramid (since that 'us' we saw earlier would soon end up here in this 'us' and... well it's hard to explain... but yeah...)
So we eventually arrived at the entrance of the Pyramid.
We saw that everything seemed normal.
"Woohoo!" said I.
"YAY!" said Tom.
We then made our long trek back to Alexandria.
We rested for the night several times.
Eventually, though, we made it back to our destination.
But then, we saw, towering over the city, the Great Pharos of Alexandria.
-'Professor' Paul H. Madason
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• Nov. 17, 2008 - Professor's Lab—Update
Okay, so, aside from our story I would like to let you know that I'm probably not going to add the link to 'The Professor's Lab' here.
But if you click-on a link entitled 'Geostories' it will lead you to my 'everyday' blog (AKA: my real blog) and you can find the link there.
-'Professor' Paul H. Madason |
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• Nov. 13, 2008 - The Time Crystal—Revealed? Part 6
(Continued from last entry...)
Nothing...
Absolutely nothing...
The Box was as empty as a vacuum of space.
There wasn't even any evidence that the Crystal was ever even there...
There was a long, awkward silence as we stared into the empty box...
Eventually I heard Tom: "OW!!!!!!!"
"What is it Tom?" I asked anxiously.
Said Tom, "Stinging... very...OW!!!!!"
I poured some water in Tom's eye and he was okay.
"I..er... Ahem!...I guess I stared a little too much huh?" Said he.
"Yup..." said I.
After a long silence I said, "I bet it's pretty dark outside by now so we better get out of the Pyramid while we can.
"Yeah...I guess you're right..." said Tom.
We then made the long, perilous journey out of the Pyramid.
Once we were out the first thing we saw was a TON of light that hurt our eyes.
We had been in the Pyramid so long that our eyes were not used to ordinary light.
A short while after our eyes adjusted to the desert light I looked at my watch...
According to it it was 4:00 AM!
And it was broad daylight!
I showed Tom my watch...
"Perhaps it stopped or ran out of battery?" Tom suggested later.
"No," said I, "I tested them earlier—they are working just fine..."
A few hours passed...
"What's that?" Tom asked pointing.
He was pointing at something very strange indeed.
There was our Time Crystal in the shape of a Scarab Beetle!
But there were several strangely dressed men carrying it and being whipped by another man.
TO BE CONTINUED...
-Professor Paul H. Madason
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• Oct. 29, 2008 - The Time Crystal—Revealed? Part 5
(Once again, continued from last entry.)
Like I said, it looked like a Dead End.
But I wasn't ready to leave just yet—I had come this far and I didn't want to leave with nothing.
Then, all of a sudden, I heard a beeping noise.
I looked over: "Tom! what are you doing?!?!"
Then I heard a noise that sounded kinda like a 'No!'
And then I saw that the door opened!
"Tom!" said I. "You saved us!"
"I did?" asked Tom.
I laughed and we went into another long hallway.
After a while's silence I asked, "Tom?"
"Yeah?" asked Tom. "What did you type in there anyway?"
"Chocolate Donut."
"What?!?!?!" I asked.
"Yeah I know..." said Tom.
"But that doesn't even make sense!" said I.
"They must have really liked Chocolate Donuts." said he.
There was a long silence.
Eventually we arrived at a HUGE door.
"Well," said I. "Here it goes!"
It opened with a... how would you explain it? A Long Squeak.
Then we saw a case with yet another Keyboard Thing.
I decoded the hieroglyphics and found out that if you enter the code wrong ONCE on this Keyboard Thing then... Something Bad would Happen.
I couldn't find out EXACTLY what this Bad Thing was but, by the looks of the hieroglyphics, it didn't sound pleasant.
I was about to tell Tom but it was too late... he was TYPING on the Keyboard.
Then... the box unlocked!
I asked Tom what he put in...
"Purple Snow Puppy in the Rain." he said calmly.
There was a Long Awkward Silence.
Then I said, "Well, I don't even want to know how you got that out or how that's accurate but now we might as well get the Crystal while we can...
Then I opened the box AND...
TO BE CONTINUED...
-'Professor' Paul H. Madason
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• Oct. 28, 2008 - The Time Crystal—Revealed? Part 4
(Continued from last entry.)
*After Long Silence* "Well..." Said Tom, "I suppose we better... just... turn-around..."
Me: "Yeah... maybe you're right..."
Just as we were about to leave the Chamber I received a call...
Me: "Woah! Strong signal!"
Me: "Hello?"
Sir Travis: "Hey Professor! You're in that Burial-Chamber that looks like a Dead-End right?"
Me: "Umm... Yeah... Why?"
Travis: "Move the Empty Coffin Left and then Up. Please make sure you go Left and Up exactly.
Me: "Ummm... Okay..."
I did likewise.
Tom was like, "WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'!!!!!!!!"
But then we saw a curved Stairway moving down.
After gazing in amazement for about 10 whole minutes (Travis kept saying things like, "Hello?" or "You all right?" "Hello?"), we began descending...
We climbed down that curved stairway for many hours.
We were silent until Tom shouted out, "I AM SO BORED!"
"OW!" said I.
"What is it?" asked Tom.
You yelled in my ear.
"Oh... Sorry..." said Tom, "I'm just so bored!"
"Well then," said I, "Find a way to entertain yourself."
"BUT THERE IS NOTHING TO DO!!!!!" said Tom.
"OW! You did it again!" said I.
"Did what?" asked Tom.
"Yelled in my ear."
"Oh, Sorry said Tom."
"Besides there isn't 'nothing' to do." said I, "we can do lots of things..."
"........ Like What?" asked Tom.
"Well we could... uh... Sing a Song!" said I.
Then I began to sing.
Tom: "Please stop! Besides it's July! You don't sing 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas' in July!"
Me: "And why not?"
Tom: "Well... it's just not... It's just not... It's just not proper."
Me: "Proper?"
Tom: "Well... you know..."
Me: "Not really."
Me: "Anyways we are at the bottom now..."
Tom: "Oh good!"
Sir Travis guided us around most of the time.
Surprisingly there weren't many Egyptian Hieroglyphics.
After a while of walking we heard some kind of POP!
Though it was more of a SNAP!
It was weird.
From that moment onward, Sir Travis sounded kinda... well... faint. And he had many 'Static Points.'
After a while longer Tom pointed out something truly amazing:
It was a half-painted Hieroglyphic!
After staring at it for a while we went onward.
Eventually we saw a long, straight pathway with a checkered flooring.
Sir Travis said somethin, like, "Don't step on the Purple Squares!"
I was about to warn Tom about the Purple Squares but it was too late...
We heard a THUMP! and some kind of rolling noise.
"What was that?" asked Tom nervously.
"A BOOOOBBY TRAP!!!" I shouted.
"A WHAT trap?" asked Tom.
"Just RUNNNNNN!!!!" said I.
Then we began running as quickly as we could!
I turned on some suspense music on my iPod.
When I turned my head to look whatever we were running away from I saw... nothing.
Me: "That's odd—I thought there was a boulder or something behind us..."
Me and Tom laughed for a while and then we continued to go down the pathway—but we still stayed away from the Purple Squares just in case.
Eventually we came to a kind of door with some kind of Keyboard.
I was impressed by the Ancient Egyptian Technology.
Then I asked Travis, "Hey Travis? You still there?"
Travis: "Yeah *static* ee *static* aw *static* aw *static*".
"Oh good," said I.
"We are at the end of the pathway now."
Travis: "Yeah *static* need to type in *static* code.
Me: "Okay..."
*After Long Silence* "Sooo... What's the code?" I asked.
Travis: "Oh! *static* Cho *static* ate *static* nut...*static*"
Me: "Travis! Travis!"
But all I heard was Static.
Then Tom asked, "Who ate nut?"
I tried typing in: 'Cho ate nut' but that didn't seem to work.
It looked like we were really at a Dead-End now.
TO BE CONTINUED
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• Oct. 24, 2008 - The Time Crystal—Revealed? Part 3
Today we finally arrived at The Great Pyramids of Giza.
Eventually we were at The Entrance of The Great Pyramid.
Tom: "Do we have to go in there?"
Me: "What?"
Tom: "I mean, why are we trying to get this Crystal anyway? We don't really need..." Me (interrupting): "TOM! DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT I HAD A TERRIBLE FLIGHT, SURVIVED A PLANE CRASH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN, GOT CAPTURED BY NATIVES, SEARCHED FOR HOURS IN THAT SMELLY OLD BASEMENT, WENT BROKE, SURVIVED YET ANOTHER PLANE CRASH, LIVED OUT IN THE COLD FOR, LIKE, WEEKS RISKED MY LIFE DIVING FOR GEAR, AND SUFFERED IN THE DESERT FOR NOTHING?!?!?!?!?!?!??!
Tom (rather shocked and disturbed looking): "........ Ummm... Sorry......I guess we better go.... in... huh?"
Me: "Yeah..."
So we went through the passage.
I used a Map in that Old Egyptian Manuscript to guide us around the maze of the Pyramid.
But the Map obviously wasn't a very good one and sometimes I wished that the Egyptians didn't just write in hieroglyphics.
Another thing about this map was that it only provided limited information so we had to decode the Clues hidden in the Pyramid.
Sometimes we would miss-interpret the Map or the Clues and would arrive at a dead-end or some kind of Booby Trap and would have to start all over again.
Eventually, though, we arrived in the Burial-Chamber.
It was quite beautiful.
After examining the scenery I began to look around for some Clues.
Strangely the Coffin was apparently opened and empty...
CLANG!!!!! CRASH!!!!!
I turned around at lightning speed and saw... Tom... with some Almost-Broken Fragile Pots and Tools. Me: "TOM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?"
Tom: "Sorry..."
After about 3 hours of looking Tom and I had found no Clues.
It looked like a dead end.
TO BE CONTINUED...
-Professor Paul H. Madason |
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