Wow! Ten years ago I was pregnant for the first time, and already thinking how fast the time was flying.
Just over two years ago, my then-1yo, just before her second birthday, looked up at me from her lunch and said, "Mama, I'm not a baby any more." If it weren't for the fact that I was pregnant with her little brother when she said that, I would have done a complete meltdown. Now that little one is already a week past her 4th birthday. How did that happen? It's too fast, too fast.
Oh, when I look at my children and think back to the past, I have so many regrets. There are so many things I did wrong, so many things I didn't do right, so many mothering opportunities missed. There are hurts I caused, habits I didn't instill, bad examples I set...
And when I look at my children and think ahead to the future, I have so many fears. In 10 short years, my big girl will be approaching her 20th birthday. Will I have been a godly example in her life? Will I have helped them build good foundations for their spiritual, mental, emotional and physical lives? What will I mess up between now and then?
Yet... Yesterday I was reading in the book of Mark, chapter three. This morning, I was drawn back to verse 20, and as I read it again, I had this thought:
Mary messed up. She was Jesus' mother, she knew about Him even before His conception, she birthed Him, she raised Him, she witnessed His miracles. Yet, she made mistakes as a mother. And they were covered.
Granted, Jesus was perfect and my children, um, aren't. But doesn't trusting in the Lord to do the best I can to raise these children He has given me, following His instructions, mean having faith that He will cover my 'mommy mistakes'?
Just thinkin'...
One of my friends pointed out that God doesn't expect us to be perfect parents. If he did, he wouldn't have picked me.
I just thought it was comforting in all my concerns big and small, real and imagined, to note that even Mary made mistakes. Even though I have to do my best, God will cover my gaps.
My children are all growing so fast, it seems like I'm whirling 'round and around trying to keep up with them, and sometimes I just feel like I'm missing them. KWIM?
Mary must have felt that same way about Jesus. Just a comfort to me to realize that.
