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Sunday, April 1, 2007
My Gram
Grandma, I understand that you didn't wait for me to get to the hospital. I can only imagine that you had some very eager loved ones waiting to welcome you home. And Grandma, I understand that you are in an infinitely more pure place than a hospital room that I was expecting to see you in last night. Though I cannot begrudge your choice to enter into eternal paradise with our Lord, I must admit that I am hurt to have not had that one more time to hug your frail frame.
What hurts most, Grandma, is that I needed to have you hear me tell you how much I love you. I know that it is selfish, but I have that tendency. I neglected you and wanted to make it up in the moments before you went on. I didn't get that chance.
No matter how fast I drove last night, it was too late. You went so quickly that I swear you had an appointment. Did you see Aunt Trish? Was she calling you home? Your daughter taken so young, so long ago. You knew you were leaving so many of us, but you had a place to be. I bet leaving Grandpa was difficult. I am sure you heard this lover's cry for his true love of nearly sixty seven years. Oh Grandma, his love poured forth on you like a summer sun, intense and severe knowing his rays cannot bring back his beautiful flower. I have rarely seen men proclaim like this to the women they love. What a heritage you leave me! What a picture of devotion and devote commitment I will not easily forget.
Did you see us milling around? I was so impressed that you were the only emergency. It was so peaceful. There was no rush. You had Grandpa, Mom and Aunt Bertie, Dad, Billie, Jordan and me to say goodbye. Did you hear me? Did you feel me hold your hand or kiss your temple? Gram, do you know that you mean so much to me?
Soon, we will say goodbye for good. Soon, we will lay you to rest forever. Soon, we will remember your life. Soon, we will finish grieving your death. Soon, we will see you one last time. Soon, we will carry on the legacy you have given us.
Thank you, Grandma for giving me life. For giving me my mom. For teaching her about Jesus. For praying for me and my family. Thank you, Jesus, for the time I did have with her. Help me to not neglect the others you have given me.
Helen Valentine 3 years old 1927
Grandma 82 years, Mom, Jordan (brother-in-law)
Christmas 2006
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