I have a problem.  How do I know?  Because, there is something that dictates my life.

They say the first step in overcoming addiction is admission.  So, here is my story.

Yesterday I had planned to tackle many of the projects I have going around the home.  One of which was the schoolroom.  It has been systematically dismantled as I roused through books and supplies taking an inventory and making preparations for the coming year.  I guess I figured that the best way to sort through it all was to make it all visible at once (no longer my recommended method). 

Or, I could have worked on my Find Of The Summer…a pine farm table for my dining room that I got for $20 over at Goodwill.  Currently it is in about 10 pieces all over the back porch, all in various levels of sanding, staining, painting, etc… 

Or, I could have wrestled with the new Homeschool Tracker Software I am learning for assignments and record-keeping (we won’t even go there). 

Or I could have familiarized myself with the new Latin curriculum that I am tackling this year (Latina Christiana I).  I really am looking forward to this one, and if I had not changed my plans to feed my addiction, this probably would have been my first choice. 

Or I could have ventured into the kid’s room which has the magical ability to morph into a national disaster area whenever I so much as lower my intimidating glare.

Or, I could have worked on getting the thirty meals into the freezer that I had wanted to pack away before we began school in September.  (I found a great resource for this, if you want the beta, just email me!)

Anyway, you get the idea.  But instead of attending to any of these pressing needs, I dropped it all when I got the phone call.

It was my supplier.  Strange thing, because my supply had just run out five days prior.  He said he had a fresh crop that was mine if I wanted it.  The street value was well over $200.  Was I willing to make the drive and meet him halfway for the drop?  Without hesitation.

So, just like that I allowed my need for a fix to order my day; obliterating all other responsibilities.   I knew he grew the best and I was lucky to be on his list.  I had developed a routine for processing and storing the crop so that I could pull from it through out the year.  I had become hooked on using it in everyday items and meals.  It was really very easy to disguise it and I had even accustomed the family to regular fixes.

I loaded all three kids into the truck for the 2 hour drive.  We had decided to meet in a public area under a shady tree.  He brought his accomplice in order to entertain and distract the kids while the switch was made.  They even brought a sample with them with which to push their product on the younger generation.  It worked; the kid’s fed their fleshly demands until there was room for no more. 

After loading the truck and making our quick good-byes, we headed for home.  Upon arriving there, I discovered that I had been given a bonus…several of the dealer’s trophy products.  (He always was an aggressive enabler.)

So, now you know my problem.   I know, I know….how could I involve the children in this?    I think it’s because it happened to me in my childhood (modeling I think it's called, or something like that).  My innocence was shattered at a very young age as these same dealers tempted me with their wares.  I was powerless to resist…still am.

So thanks for the fix, Grandpa!   For the delicious tomatoes (and cantaloupe, green beans, cucumbers and onions)!   You do grow the best!