Nov. 19, 2008 - My Husband is Not Me

 I had a great epiphany this morning: my husband is not me!  Amazed?  I know, most of you ladies had already figured that out, but, honestly, it has taken me almost 18 years of marriage to figure this out.  Okay, okay.  Let me explain . . .  Flashback to yesterday and I’ll fill in some blanks.  

 Yesterday morning I woke up with an all-too-familiar feeling: headache, body aches, general yuckiness.  I felt like I had the flu – again.  You see, I have fibromyalgia, and I never know when I’m going to have a “bad day.”  It’s especially bad when I wake up on a Sunday morning feeling like this.  My husband and I lead our church’s middle school ministry on Sundays.  Steve never complains about having to take over the whole shebang at the last minute; and even though I know he can handle the extra duties, I can’t help feeling guilty about dumping everything off on him.  Usually our Sunday mornings work like this:  Steve leads a fun game with the kids and then I take over and teach the lesson (that I have prepared beforehand). 

 This morning, out of the blue, God told me (I know it had to be Him because He is extremely wise and gets straight to the point) that Steve is not me.  Steve does a great job leading the kids in a fun, new game; and he does a great job adding bits of wisdom to the lesson, but I know that he doesn’t really enjoy teaching the lesson.  Actually, I’m pretty sure it makes him feel uncomfortable (especially when he has to do it totally unprepared).  I realized that when I was teaching high school English, I would at least leave a detailed lesson plan for substitutes to follow.  I wouldn’t even expect them to teach my students anything. 

 The thought occurred to me that even though Steve is my “better half,” that does not mean that when I feel half-human he can step in and play my part.  I was simply taking advantage of him in a way that I would never do to anyone else on the planet.

 SO – here’s my new plan.  I’m going to prepare “substitute” lessons to keep on hand.  AND I’m going to keep something quick and easy to make for supper (something the kids could even fix).  I know it sounds like I’m planning to be sick, but that’s my reality now.  No, it’s not a lack of faith – it is wise preparation and consideration.  For those of us living with chronic illness, we need to plan ahead so that on those “bad days” we don’t create extra burdens for our “better halves.”  We need a contingency plan.  Philippians 2:3 instructs us to “in humility consider others better than yourselves.”  My sweet husband is very considerate of me and my unpredictable health.  The least I can do is to let him show a video on Sunday morning and pop a frozen casserole in the oven for dinner.

Blessings and best of health to you all.

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