May. 18, 2009 - One Thing
Living with a chronic illness gives us a fresh look at priorities. It causes us to examine our priorities from a new perspective. We folks who are chronically ill don't have the ability to live life the way we once did. We may not have the energy we used to have. Our bodies may not work like they used to. We may need more help doing things we once did alone. When illness becomes our new reality, whether suddenly or over time, things that we once held with great importance may not seem quite as important any more. We may find that events we once attended without fail may not be as necessary as they once were. Our once spotless homes may be a little more cluttered (okay, maybe spotless isn't the right word). The bottom line here is that life is different than it used to be. Okay, so what do we do about it?
I read something recently that has stuck with me. It's a very simple idea really. Here it is - pick one thing each day that you want to accomplish. How much simpler could it be? Your one thing might be mopping the kitchen floor or scrubbing the shower. OR if it's one of those days that you're just able to drag yourself to the bathroom, maybe you could plan to wipe down the sink while you're there. (Make sure to keep cleaning wipes handy.) The point is that you plan to accomplish something everyday, and you follow through. Having a plan is a good start to any endeavor, and the easier the plan, the easier it is to get done.
There's no good reason to beat ourselves up because we can't manage to get much done. That doesn't get us anywhere but into a deep pit of guilt and depression. Let's instead plan to get one thing done - and do it! And at the end of the day, we have accomplished our "to do" list. Tomorrow we can start a new "to do" list. Let's see. . . I think I might vacuum my bedroom tomorrow. If it's a good day, I may feel up to doing even more; but unless I'm on my death bed I should be at least be able to push a vacuum cleaner around my bedroom.
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Feb. 27, 2009 - Depression: The Misunderstood Illness
I am convinced that depression is one of the most misunderstood illnesses. Depression is not a feeling. Oftentimes people describe themselves as being depressed—“I am so depressed”—when what they really mean is that they’re bored, bummed out, disappointed, or one of a whole host of other feelings. Depression is an illness; it often is the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain. I don’t believe that depression is a mental illness. It is a physical illness. I know I may be skating on thin ice here, but what I’m saying is from personal experience.
Before I was diagnosed with clinical depression, I had lost the ability to enjoy just about anything. To others I’m sure I appeared sad, but actually I felt almost nothing. I had lost my joy. Now, you might be thinking, “Well, that sounds like spiritual warfare. You just let Satan steal your joy.” Spiritual warfare may have been involved, but it was more than that. Depression—for me—is a physical illness that manifests itself outwardly as deep sadness. It keeps me from enjoying my life. It keeps me from doing things I usually enjoy doing.
Depression can go hand-in-hand with a myriad of other illnesses—fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, cancer, irritable bowel syndrome, etc. Unfortunately, all too often, folks see the person who is ill as simply feeling sorry for herself. Shortly after I was diagnosed with clinical depression and had just begun my treatment, I went to the altar for prayer at a church service. A wise older woman, a leader in the church, was at the altar to pray with those in need. I explained to her that I had been dealing with depression and I needed prayer. She told me that depression is a sin and that I needed to repent and ask for God’s forgiveness. Had I been a younger Christian, newer in my walk with Christ, and had I not researched as much as I had about depression, this could have been quite damaging for me to hear. I am afraid this scenario happens all too often within the church.
After I began taking medication for my depression, I felt so much better. I felt like my real self again—almost immediately. My husband and close friends recognized the change in me right away. I think my children did too (they were tired of “grumpy Mom”). It took a while longer for me to be diagnosed with fibromyalgia, but taking care of the depression allowed us to see my underlying symptoms.
If you have been diagnosed with any type of chronic illness, including depression, please educate yourself. Read as much as you can about the illness. Talk with other patients about their experiences. Talk with your children about what is going on; help them to understand your symptoms. And grow thick skin. There are many well-meaning people out there who can say hurtful things and not even realize it. Sometimes we need to educate others about our illnesses. That may be the only way to keep other people from being truly damaged by well-meaning, misinformed advisers.
If you’re feeling down, maybe you just need to get out and do something fun. If you’re feeling blue, you might just need to watch a funny movie. But if you’ve really lost the ability to enjoy things you used to enjoy, and you can’t seem to “snap out of it,” see your doctor. Depression is a physical illness, and it needs to be treated medically. “There is, therefore, now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).
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Dec. 18, 2008 - Stressful Times
I find myself during the holiday season every year feeling stressed out. I can tell by the way I bite my kids' heads off, constantly berate them for not doing what I think they should be doing, and, in general, cause everyone around me to become as grumpy as I am. I focus on the mess and clutter in my house and wonder out loud how anyone can stand to sit and play video games in the middle of a family room that resembles a warzone. And what about the nasty dishes that everyone leaves for the "kitchen fairy" to fly by and take care of? I can feel the tension taking over just thinking about it. Well, you get the idea. If you are totally not relating to any of this, then you might want to just skip the rest of this article. You will find it extremely boring.
My favorite scripture is Proverbs 3:5-6 - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path." I believe this with all my heart, with every fiber of my being. My head and my heart both know that God is in complete control, but my body still goes haywire. My body reacts quite negatively to stressful situations. All of my energy is sucked out of me. My muscles tense up and ache. My digestive system misbehaves. My immune system goes into hiding. I've never been able to figure out how to tell my body not to react to stressful situations. For those of us who constantly battle with illness, stess can just make everything doubly difficult..
This year it seems that I have more stressors to cope with than usual. My husband found out last week that his company is closing down, which means that he will lose his job. He is our sole provider. We count on his paycheck and insurance coverage. (I work also, but I don't get paid for any of it.) We have 3 teenagers in our home and all the "stuff" that goes along with them. (I'm so thankful for my sweet 9-yr.-old.) I have a chronic illness that makes my health unpredictable. And then there's the economy!
Like I said before, I trust God to work all these things together for my good and for the good of my family, but my body just doesn't seem to get it. On top of that, this whole thing has a snowball effect: I'm stressed, so I'm sick. I'm sick, so I'm stressed.
Okay. Here's my plan of action. I'm going to read and think about God's promises. I'm going to take deep breaths. I'm going to drink chamomile tea. I'm going to stretch. I'm going to look for the positives in my kids. I'm going to ask my family nicely to help pick up around the house. I'm going to laugh. And I'm going to thank God for every blessing in my life.
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Nov. 19, 2008 - My Husband is Not Me
I had a great epiphany this morning: my husband is not me! Amazed? I know, most of you ladies had already figured that out, but, honestly, it has taken me almost 18 years of marriage to figure this out. Okay, okay. Let me explain . . . Flashback to yesterday and I’ll fill in some blanks.
Blessings and best of health to you all.
