Posted in My Homeschool FAQs

Have you ever looked up the word socialize in the dictionary?

so·cial·ize (ssh-lz)

v. so·cial·ized, so·cial·iz·ing, so·cial·iz·es

v.tr.

1. To place under government or group ownership or control.

2. To make fit for companionship with others; make sociable.

3. To convert or adapt to the needs of society.

Very interesting...

So what about socialization?   I have spent a lot of time in the company of homeschooled kids over the last  10 years.  Let me tell you a secret...These kids are very well adjusted socially!  Here is a story I love to tell.  A few years ago when we lived in California we were involved in a homeschool park day.  The kids in the group ranged from infants up to 16 years old.  My oldest son had a lazer tag set and we would take it along every week to park day.  The boys ALL loved it and couldn't wait to get together and play it every week.   We had purchased the lazer tag set at a thrift shop (Big surprise, I know!  LOL)  and the one down side to it was it had more of the little front packs to shoot at than it had lazer guns.  Well, I saw it as a problem, but the kids never did.  One week on the way home from the park I said something about wishing we had a few more guns so all the boys could have one.  My son (Then 8 years old.) replied..."We really don't need more guns Mom, I mean someone has to be the President anyway & all the Secrect Service guys don't need guns."  Okay, now he had my attention, I asked him to explain....It seems that since we did not have enough guns for everyone the bigger boys had invented a game called "Protect the President".  The object was to make the littlest kid the President.  He was a 3 year old and happy just to be playing with the big boys! The the rest were either bad guys or Secret Service.  The object was to keep the President alive, or shoot him, depending on who you were in the game.  Some of the Secret Service guys were just there to throw themselves in front of the President if need be, so they didn't need guns. The 3 year old usually lost interest quickly, so the big boys would just keep pretending he was the President going about his day and they would just play around him!  Protecting him all the while.  WOW!  How creative!  How cooperative!  How wonderfully inclusive!  How social!  How awesome! 

I have seen scenarios like this play out over and over again in homeschool social setting.  You see these kids have not been pigeon holed into thinking they can only play a prescribed game with kids who's birthdays happen to fall near theirs.  They are usually just happy to have a new person to play with and once they put there minds together, the possibilities are endless! 

So the next time someone asks you "What about socialization?", don't panic.  Think about what socializations really is, then ask yourself if you want any part of it?  For my kids I want them to know how to play , just like they know how to learn.  My ideal for them is not for them to need someone to guide them and say "Now we will have P.E., now it is time for dance, now it is time for etc."  Sure, my kids take some classes and have some structure to their play sometimes.  But, for the most part I want them to be able to entertain themselves.  I want them to use their imaginations. I want them to learn to enjoy the company of a wide range of people who are in a wide range of ages and stages.  I want them to BE KIDS!  But, most of all I want them to be kids who can interact with a large variety of people.  I want them to be as comfortable with our retired neighbor as they are with the 6 year old down the street.  Homeschooling allows the this freedom because they spend there time with a wide variety of people, not just kids there own age.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--
his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2

 

Here are two more great articles on Homeschool Socialization:

No Thank You, We Don't Believe In Socialization

What About Socialization (From Another Angle) 

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Comments

Posted by writmm

My kids have many such moments as you describe! I am going to write the definition of socialization down on an index card to have handy:) Then I can proudly say...yes, I am worried about socialization...I don't want my kids to have any part of it;)

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Posted by briarwren

Thanks for posting this one. It's very true and I just wish I could get it through my family, especially my husbands parents. They're always on us about socialization. My kids aren't in any homeschool groups, at least yet. But we do get out and I have groups that I enjoy where there are children and whose mothers are all like minded to me. And there are also several homeschooled children near my oldest sons age that he pals around with a lot. They ARE better adjusted. One thing I noticed was the recent Easter Egg hunt. I generally don't go for the big community ones, but this year I thought I'd give it another try. It wasn't as bad as other one's I'd gone to, although it wasn't the greatest either. We live on a university campus and this was only for children in our community, not the big one for the whole town. My oldest wound up by himself in his section, but he still really enjoyed himself. He didn't feel at all bad that he only got three eggs. He was just happy and excited that he'd gotten some, as well as did something all by himself. It wasn't until one of his friends (this one goes to kindergarten) was boasting about how his bucket was full that my little guy even realized there was a differance. That just made me so mad because he wasn't as happy as he was before and he just moped on the grass. None of the homeschool kids compared the amount of eggs; they were too busy swapping the candy back and forth and trying to stash it before it was taken away from them! I sent James off to play with them and he felt a lot better.

Edited by briarwren on Apr. 19, 2007 at 9:02 AM

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Posted by Canadagirl

I LOVE how you worded this soooooooooo well. The illustration of your boys and the laser tag story was perfect.

God Bless you my SSiC
In Him<><
-Mary

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Posted by AcceptanceWithJoy

I got a Webster's 1828 Dictionary for Christmas (a gift only another homeschool mom could appreciate)... as soon as I saw this definition, I had to check out what Webster had to say.

I found it interesting that, like teenager, the word socialize and socialization didn't even exist as concepts that needed defined back then. Modern thought... horrible results. The best I could do was social:

1. Pertaining to society; relating to men living in society, or to the public as an aggregate body; as social interests or concerns; social pleasures; social benefits; social happiness; social duties.

2. Ready or disposed to mix in friendly converse; companionable.

3. Consisting in union or mutual converse.

4. Disposed to unite in society. Man is a social being.

Do you know what I see lacking in the definition from American Heritage? The idea of socializing being mutual or for the benefit of society and the individual. Our society has a macro mindset. We look at the world through the eyes of the culture at large and ignore individual relationships.

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Posted by Anonymous

Thanks for this reminder of what we really want for our children. Well said!
Dana, www.alexml.blogspot.com

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Posted by Diane

It is because I want my children to be WELL socialized that I homeschool them. I want my children to experience positive socialization. Did you read this article about the VT shooter?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070419/ap_on_re_us/virginia_tech_shooting
That article explains how horribly teased he was.
Innocence is such a precious and rare thing now adays.

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Posted by Anonymous

I just wanted to say thanks as I have read a lot of your posts tonight, after feeling a little discouraged about homeschooling my "dreamer" 1st grader who did more than his fair share of complaining about school today. Your words, creative ideas - love the barbie mummy!!, and especially all the quotes in a different post, were truly inspiring. Thanks for the encouragement! God brought me to your blog at just the right time - an answer to my dinnertime prayer for keeping me on the right track!!!

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Posted by Anonymous

Kids need to be with another kids, they cant be always at home or just playing with their neighbors, siblings or cousins. That wont be good for them.. always staying at home they wont learn lo live in society and wont be able to learn all by their own either. For me, this must be 50/50, 50% home, 50% school. At home they can learn to difference bad and good, to care, to love, basic principles, self-esteem and how to be a good adult. At school they can learn math, history, science, etc.. also, home helps this beacuse parents can help with homework.

Just my opinion.

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