Jimmy Carter was the first president to be born in a hospital, all those before him had been born at home. My son

I was talking to a new mom the other day at the McDonald's Playland and the topic of homebirth came up. While we were talking I started thinking how weird it is that I have never blogged about my homebirth experiences.  Having my babies at home are some of my most treasured memories, so I guess it is time to share my experiences with others.

First off, I want to point out that having a baby at home is NOT as weird as you might be thinking!  Hospital birth is a relatively new thing!  For example I was a first generation hospital birth on my Mom’s side of the family and a second generation hospital birth on my dad’s side of the family.  (Meaning my mom was born at home and my dad was the first generation not to be born at home.  However, I am pretty sure most of my Dad's older siblings were born at home.) Women were birthing babies long before hospitals were invented!

My first child was born in the hospital. It was 1994 and honestly I had never heard of homebirth.  I never considered any method of having a baby other than going to the hospital.  However, from the moment I conceived I dreaded that I was going to have to go to the hospital for the birth.  I am not a big fan of hospitals or western medicine. I associate hospitals with sickness and I in NO WAY think of giving birth as a sickness!  To me birth is a wonderful, beautiful things designed by God.  It is completely natural and a what my body is designed to know exactly how to do it.  So I lived in dread of the hospital.  When the time came to actually go to the hospital it was even worse than I expected!  Instead of being empowered to do what my body was designed for, I was powerless! I was seen as “the patient” and I was “dealt with”.  Procedures were "done on me" and I was not ever part of the decision making process. I am a very independent person and this was SO miserable for me!  I went into the whole thing thinking that I could and would have natural childbirth.  I quickly learned that my husband and I were the only ones there interested in my having this child naturally.  My husband and I were  intimidated and bullied until I submitted to a epidural.  Everything was out of my control and I was frightened and tramatized.  I had purposely picked a small practice with a low C-section rate.  But, little did I know that my doctor, nor his partner, nor the backup doctor would make it a priority to get to the hospital.  (Yep, my baby was delivered by a complete stranger! And it wasn't because I it wasa fast delivery. I actually ended up in the hospital 5 days before the baby came and never once saw my doctor or the same doctor twice.) Once my child was born he was quickly whisked away from me.  I was not allowed to see or hold him for 24 hours!  He had a reaction to the medications that were forced upon me in the hospital and was having breathing difficulties. (What a horrible experience that was for me!  If it had not been for the compassionate Christan lady I shared a room with I cannot imagine how I would have made it through that first night!) Before we ever left the hospital I vowed to myself that if by some miracle we ever had another child I would NEVER come back to the hospital. I would never allow myself to be disrespected the way I was during my first child’s birth. I had no idea what other options I had, but I knew the next time had to be different.  Even to this day, almost 14 years later it is still painful for me to write about that time.  A time that should have been completely filled with joy is one of my most painful memories.

After my first child was born we moved from Los Angeles to Northern California.  Not long after we moved there was an article in the Sacramento newspaper about homebirth.  I wept as I read it!  I could not believe the difference between what I had been put through to what I was reading. The article talked about the beauty of the birthing process.  It talked about the husband and wife sharing the experience with as little interference as possible.  It focused on the power of the woman’s body and the joy of the experience!  I was immediately hooked!  As time passed I started meeting people who had their children at home. These were not wackos that didn’t know any better. These were intelligent women who trusted their bodies to do what it had been created to do.  I listened to their stories and knew that if I was ever blessed to give birth again I wanted to do it in the privacy of my own home.

Praise God!  In 2000 I found out that I was expecting again!  Right from the start I was excited about the actual birth process.  I contacted the Midwives that several of my friends had used and set up our first appointment.  At this point my husband was not completely committed to the home birth idea. He agreed that our hospital birth had been a fiasco, but, the idea of homebirth was a little scary to him.  After 10 minutes talking to the midwife we met with that day he was completely at ease. Honestly after talking with her we both believed that home was the safest place to have our baby!  She was confident and experienced (She had been assisting women in birth for over 25 years!)  She put us both completely at ease.  This was not a wacko thing to do!  And so began our journey into homebirth.

And what a journey it was! 

With homebirth the whole process starts from the time we contacted the midwives. It was not just about checking my health to see if I could have the baby safely.  It was about building a relationship with the wonderful women (There were 3 of them Tosi, Claudia and Rachel.) who would be there to assist in our birth.  From the beginning they made it clear that they were there to assist. The birth was ours and they were not there to “deliver” the baby.  They made it clear that as the mom, I was the only one with the power to deliver this baby into the world!  They brought the children and I books to read. They loaned us videos to watch.  We laughed at every appointment!  They would come to my house for at least an hour each month.  I had all 3 of their pager numbers!  They fell in love with my baby as it grew inside me!  They looked forward to the day the baby would be born just like we did! (And NO WAY would they miss it!)

The day that my daughter was born was filled with joy! I knew early on that I wanted a water birth.  So a few days before my daughter came along a birthing tub was delivered to my house. I woke up the morning of my daughters due date with contractions.  We called midwifes and let them know the day had arrived! From that point on it was all about our family being together.  I sat in the Jacuzzi with the jets massaging my back.  My 6 year old son sat in the empty birthing tub next to me reading the Hardy Boys!  LOL (It didn't have water in it yet!) We laughed, we ate, we drank frozen lemonade, we listened to music, we walked outside!  My husband put a loaf of bread in the bread maker so we would have something to feed the midwives once the baby was born.  To this day when I smell fresh baked bread I fondly remember that day.  My oldest son was there to support me.  He was SO excited! He could not wait to finally be a big brother! ( We have some really funny video of him jumping on the bed while I was having a contraction.  I have no memory of it and laughed my head off when I saw the video!) He patted my hand rubbed my back and encouraged me all the way. (Yes, he was a bit nervous too.  He actually chose to be in the other room during the last few minutes I was pushing. We left the choice up to him. I wanted him to have as much choice in his part of the birth as I did.) The midwives were there the whole time, but they made themselves scarce.  This was our time.  They came in and out of the room checking the baby’s heartbeat and my blood pressure.  They brought me food and drinks. They answered the phone so we would not be disturbed.  They sat next to me holding my hand and rubbing my back as the time drew closer.  They truly proved that the word Midwife, which means “with women”, is the appropriate name for their calling!

Waiting in the birthing tub!

At about 8:00 in the evening on February 25^th, 2001 our daughter entered the world.  There were no bright lights or loud sounding equipment to greet her, just a tub of warm water that both her parents were in.  Her big brother was called in from the other room to announce whether he had a brother or a sister.  (Everyone was put under strict orders not to “look” until he did so he would be the first to know and could make the announcement!) She was not whisked away from us!  She was SO alert and responsive since she was free of all drugs! I was gently moved to the bed while her father held her.  (And she tried to nurse from him!  LOL  That is a very funny memory I only knew about because one of the midwives grabbed the camera and got a picture! Is it any wonder this child nursed until she was 3 1/2?   LOL)

Got Milk?

Our family spent hours together cuddled up in the bed. There was no rush to do anything.  If any of the midwives had anything else on their minds that night we would have never known it.  When we were ready she was weighed and checked out.  A beautiful 9 pound 6 ounce baby girl!  While we cuddled and nursed the midwives prepared use a meal.  (Including that yummy loaf of bread which we all shared!)  They carried the dinner into the room with a candle lit on the tray, singing happy birthday to our new born baby.  Everything was exactly the way I wanted it to be.  The midwives cleaned everything up, tucked us all into bed and left around midnight.  The warm and wonderful feelings of that night follow me to this day.

Me and my girl!

In the following days we saw the midwives frequently.  They came to check on the baby and me for 6 weeks. What love and care they gave us! They are truly our friends and we think of them as family. (They have a potluck 4 times a year and we wish we could make it to California for more of them!  How fun it is to show off our growing children to them!)

Claudia and my son dressing his new sister.

In 2003 we were again blessed beyond belief to find that we were expecting our third child! This time we had no reservations. We knew we would have a homebirth!  I remember calling Tosi a few hours after I knew I was expecting and we celebrated together over the phone! I also have a precious memory of going to my sonogram appointment with Claudia.  (Yes, you can have all the test you want and still have a homebirth!)   I also have such sweet memories of time spent with Rachel.  She is such a sweet, calm, supportive person.  She taught me to have great confidence in myself to give birth!

My 3^rd child’s birth was a lot more stressful due to circumstances in our lives.  About halfway through the pregnancy we learned we would be moving out to Las Vegas in few weeks after his birth.  I was stressed beyond belief!  However, the birth was as beautiful as his sisters had been.  This time we had 2 kids to share it with.  I had prayed that it would happen during the night while my 2 year old slept. And true to form God answered that prayer! My water broke while I was nursing my daughter to sleep that night.  She was moved to her bed and I labored through the night.  It was a MUCH harder labor and delivery.  Not only did my little man enter the world weighing 11 pounds 8 ounces, but he thought he should come out elbow first!  YIKES!  However, this posed no problem for the midwives.  Once they realized what position he was in they gave me a few directions on how to position myself and out he came! (Praise the Lord for gravity!  LOL)  On December 15, 2003 we welcomed the final member of our family! You have never seen a BIGGER newborn!  LOL  I have such wonderful memories of my oldest son being with me during his brothers birth.  This time he was cool as a cucumber! He was a seasoned homebirth veteran at 9 years old!  LOL  He was there for me every minute, but instead of worrying about me and whether he should be in the room, he spent most of the night laying in my bed watching cartoons!  LOL  What wonderful memories I have of sharing that time with my husband and son!  And then as the sun came up and my youngest son was born in walked my 2 year old!  I will never forget seeing her standing there in her blue paddy footed pajama’s and hearing her say “Hey guys whatcha doing?”  Before anyone else could respond my son said “Mom had the baby!  Come look, we have a brother!”  Only in God’s perfect timing could all of this played out to such perfection.  Again I was gently moved to the bed and this time we were more anxious to weigh the baby.  We knew  he was a record breaker! LOL The midwives were delighted with his weight!  (Midwives pride themselves in bringing BIG healthy babies into the world!)  Again the midwives took care of everything, prepared the meal and sang our child’s first song to him.  “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear baby happy birthday to you!”  Soon the midwives left for the day and there we were.  A family of FIVE all tucked into bed together!  We spent the day snoozing, laughing, celebrating and making phone calls.  There was no rush, no place to go, nothing that needed to be done. We were all finally home!  We spent time bonding and learning what it meant to be complete.  The joy of that day will be with us all forever.

Tosi and our BIG boy!
Rachel  loving on the baby.

As I look back over my birth experiences I praise God for every moment of it. My birth experiences were the most empowering things that have ever happened to me!  Even though my hospital birth was not what I wanted it to be, it grew me into knowing that I could take the power in my hands and create the birth experiences I wanted.  This is only  a brief sketch of all that we experienced.  A few weeks ago I was unpacking the kids baby books and I came across a letter our midwives sent to me along with our 3^rd child’s birth records.  It read...

We hope Las Vegas is treating you well!  Remember that these pages are only a mere outline of the hard work, love and courage you poured into your child’s birth.  You were magnificent! Thank you once again for inviting us to be your midwives. We have truly enjoyed getting to be with your family at such an important time in the life of your family. We are so sorry to have lost you to another state, but we are your midwives forever!

Wow!  I don’t think anyone else has ever called me magnificent! And honestly that is how I felt after my homebirths!  I felt so empowered.  I felt a closeness to God like I had never know before. I literally rejoiced not just about the babies but about the amazing experience I had.  There are no words to express how grateful I am that I was given the opportunity to see the potential God built into my body be put to use.

Me and my BIG BOY!

I know there are many women who have wonderful memories of their hospital births.  It is not my intention in any way to disregard or disrespect those births.  One of the reasons I have probably not written this before is I would NEVER want my oldest son to think that his birth was any less joyful to me than that of his siblings.  I talked with him about this yesterday.  I wanted to make sure he was okay with me writing this post.  He assured me he completely understood how I felt. He also said he is grateful we had his siblings at home so he could be such a BIG part of it all!  I assured him that although the process of being hospitalized was less than joyful the end result was meeting him and NOTHING could have taken the joy out of that! However, my homebirth experiences were life changing over the top experiences! I doubt that is all my life anything will ever compare to them!

My precious kids!  Just moments after they met all met for the first time.

I told you I was outside the box!

If you would like to learn more about homebirth I highly recommend the book Homebirth by Sheila Kitzinger.  For kids I recommend the book Welcome With Love by Jenni Overend.