Posted by Anonymous (76.176.105.60)

I just started homeschooling this year for my 6th, 4th & 2nd graders.I really enjoy it-big change, but see good things already! My "Education Specialist" from the charter school suggested your blog b/c of my current concern.  I totally relate to why & what you want your kids to get out of homeschooling. I didn't like what my kids were getting exposed to so early and concerned w/ 6th grade son who would start middle school. My current concern is that he is asking to return to his school next year w/ all his friends. He misses them and feels left out. He plays sports and sees those friends-but I'm searching for the right thing to do. It helps to hear someone else put into words what I want as well. I would love some input. Thanks-Shelly

Hi Shelly,

I have never been in the exact position you are in, because I have homeschooled my kids from the start.  But, here is what I think I would do in your position.

First off I would discuss with my husband if we are committed to homeschooling for the long run.  If the answer is yes I would sit my children down and tell them that we are now a committed homeschool family.  This isn't something we are trying out, but something that we are committed to.  I would probably say something to the effect of "You all know we pulled you out of school to give homeschooling a try.  Dad and I have talked about it and we have committed ourselves to homeschooling you long term.  We feel that you all have made great progress with your learning and  that our family has grown stronger together since we brought you home.  I know there has been some discussion of whether or not you all would go back to school.  But, we just wanted to let you know that is not going to be happening.  We are committed to educating you at home because we belive it is what is best for you and for our family."  In my experience kids need to know that their parents are in charge.  Letting them have input as to where and how they will be educated actually makes them feel less secure.  Then once we had made this proclamation I would make some other changes. 

First off I would fully commit myself to finding friends for my kids that are homeschooled.  Of course kids are going to want to go back to school if that is where their friends are!  I would get involved in a homeschool group and sign up for as many activities as I could.  If the homeschool group didn't offer what I wanted I would put together whatever classes my kids need and offer them to other homeschoolers.  Make homeschooling fun!!!!  If your children are loving learning at home with you they won't be asking to go somehwere else.

Next I would cut way back on the interaction with the old friends.  Once you truly get into the swing of homeschooling you will probably find that having friends with a more similar lifestyle is more convienent. (We tend to socialize with friends during the day and have family time in the evenings when Dad is home.)  Plus one of the concerns you stated was that you were concerned about the influence.  So I would slowly and steadily cut it off!  (For instance I would let them continue to play sports, but not go out of my way to make sure they got on a team with all their public school friends.)  Soon enough I think you will find that the kids will naturally transition over to the new homeschool friends.  

Lastly, I would make sure that I wasn't doing too much "schooling" during this transition time.  Being together 24/7 is new to your kids and they need time together to figure out the dynamics of the new relationships they have with each other and with you as their teacher.  Take the time to deschool them and get them aclimated to homeschooling!

I hope you find this helpful Shelly and I know that God will bless you for your efforts!

Happy Homeschooling,

Jamin

P.S.  This is very similar to another post I wrote last May when someone else asked a similar question.  To read that post and find links on deschooling click HERE.