I'm still floating around and checking in now and then, just not writing here right now.  I hope this does the trick.

Thanks,

Janna

My kids' unique view of life really brightens my day.

My second son (6) was studying the Minoans.  We looked at a photo of a fresco of them bull leaping (naked over the bull's head).  He looked, shook his head and said, "No wonder those people are extinct!"

My 2 year old daughter has been sick for over a week with diarrehea so we went to the doctor.  I had a dirty diaper in a bag in the car in case they wanted a stool sample.  I brought it in at their request and the nurse asked me to wait while she checked to see if there was enough for a sample.  There was and we went to the desk to pay the bill.  At that point, my daughter turned to me completely bewildered, "People want my POOP?"

Tonight my boys were playing when they heard the announcer say, "Game Time."  Immediately, they put down their Bionicles and called, "Hey, Daddy it's time to break out the snacks."  I was worried they might have trouble fitting in when we go back to the US.  What a relief!

On Thursday night I became a burglary victim.  Someone put a stick through the security bars and lifted my bag and my video camera so that he could steal the camera and the wallet. The money to pay for my sons’ soccer registration was in the wallet.  I bought that camera with earnings saved up over a year.  I love to take photos and it will take months to save enough to replace it—fortunately I still have my old camera.  Dang it, it’s just not right!

I’ve been struggling to come around to the Christian attitude about the whole thing and toward the thief.  At first the Psalms of David were closest to describing my attitude—you know “Smite my enemies, oh Lord!”  But is that an attitude my savior would approve?  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it was wrong to be angry or to want the guilty punished but was that enough?

One of my friends emailed me that he was praying  that the  thief would be “blessed, convicted and brought to salvation.”  My thoughts at the time were more along the lines of praying that he would be caught, convicted and jailed. But BLESSED?  Oh yeah, wait.  God loves him too? 

God brought back to my memory the time that my elderly little grandmother had her car broken into.  She was at her volunteer job at her church (which wasn’t really in a good neighborhood). When she came out, her car window was smashed and her Bible, which was in a leather case with a handle, had been stolen. I guess the thief thought someone had carelessly left a handbag in view.

I have never seen anyone as delighted as she was about that theft.  She wasn’t a bit  intimidated about the violation of her property. She wasn’t afraid to go back to the church alone.  The insurance money would fix the window and she had money to buy a new Bible.  She was so excited that God had used her to get a Bible into the hands of someone who really needed it. She went around for days saying, “I’ll bet he was surprised when he opened that zipper.  But he got something worth a whole lot more than a handbag!” I know that her fondest prayer was that the thief would open the Bible, read it and believe it.

So what if “All things(do) work together for those who love the Lord and are called according to his  purpose?”(Romans 8:28)   If that’s true, shouldn’t my attitude be more like my grandmothers?  What’s the good in this?—I’m not sure right now.  Get back to me after all my credit cards and ID’s have been replaced.  But at least God has used my memory and my friend’s words to adjust my attitude about the thief.  Now I'm praying that he's caught, convicted and brought to salvation.  I hope I'll get to the "blessed" point in a couple of days.  Bring on the good, God, and help me recognize it when it gets here.

It's January again, the prime time of the year for good intentions and health club memberships.  In the stores in the US, aisles full of organizing paraphenalia appear: plastic containers, baskets, silverware trays.  Visions of the perfect home and the perfect body go dancing through our heads.  We read the articles about 10 steps to the organized life or Thinner Thighs in Thirty Days (remember that book?)  We begin our year full of hope and enthusiam but what happens to us?  The Workout-a-holics stand in lines for the machines but with the warm assurance that in 6 weeks or less the crowds will thin down to the few and faithful with maybe a half dozen additions.  The plastic containers become places to move our junk to a new location in the house.  Why do our good intentions crash and burn after a few weeks?

1)We try to eat the elephant whole!  How do you eat an elephant?  All together now--one bite at  a time! I make a resolution to lose 50 pounds.  I need to lose them but the very act of putting it down intimidates the heck out of me.  It's such a huge undertaking.  It involves juggling schedules, exercising self control, changing recipies, calculating portions.  Just thinking about it makes me want to reach for a MARS bar.  What if, instead of a big blanket resolution, I break it down into smaller "bites"?  This week, I could concentrate on one part of the task and then work on another part next week.  So this week is, "I will ask myself if I'm hungry before  I put a bite in my mouth." or " I will write down what I eat and when so I can figure  out what trips me up."  I feel much more confident that I can manage that.

2)  We choke on "Should have"-- The weight is there.  That's reality.  It's been there, gradually creeping up over 4 pregnancies.  I should have exercised more, eaten better--whatever.  No amount of beating myself up over the reality will help me make one step forward and do something about the weight.  Even those of us who didn't grow up in the Catholic faith seem to have the idea that we need  to do penance for our mistakes before we allow ourselves to move forward.  LIE!  That didn't come from the Bible, folks.  Sacrifices to atone for sin was taken care of completely with the death of Christ. Done, over.  Be sorry, ask forgiveness, ask God for help not to make the same mistake, ACCEPT forgiveness and move on.  Get back into the task at hand.  Getting mired in should  will strangle you every time.

 3) Our Focus is Out of Whack--  Do this exercise with me. Put your finger about 8 inches from your  face.  Look at your finger.  How does everything else look?  Now look beyond your finger. What does  your finger look like?  Whatever you focus on, you see clearly and the surroundings become blurry.  If you focus on your failures you'll lose track of your successes and become  depressed.  If you focus on your successes, your  failures will blur and you'll be encouraged.  Make notes of what you accomplish--whether or  not is has to do with your resolution.  At the end of the day, look at the  list--not at the mile long to do list that you haven't managed to get to.  You did do something today.  You did accomplish something.  Be proud of it.  Baby steps still get you where you're going.  Don't forget that life is not a sprint, it's a marathon and no one is timing you.

4) We forget the Why--When I'm looking at the homemade cookies, I forget why exactly I made the resolution or  I forget when I'm depressed and lonely and think that eating will make me feel better.  If I write down the reasons I want to get in shape and stick them to my refrigerator, it snaps my focus back where it belongs.  Some people put fat pictures or thin pictures up.  Those  don't motivate me--frankly they depress me. But when I look at that list, I feel new resolve rush through me.   I want to play outside  with my kids and not run out of energy.  I want to be proud of myself when I look at a photo.  I want to go on adventures without worrying about my body failing me.  I want to grow old with my husband rather than have an early heart attack.  When I weigh that list against the chocolate--no contest.

5)  We don't enjoy and record the process--ENJOY?  Allow yourself to enjoy the little steps  forward.  Whether it's clothes that start to bag or just getting  to the end of the day without slipping up.  Record every step and reward yourself every week at least.  The reward doesn't  have to be expensive.  A long bubble bath, a walk in the moonlight with your spouse, an hour alone to enjoy a novel you've been longing to read.   Life is all about the process.  The reward is at the end and how tragic if you waited to be happy until then.

 Good luck and God Bless!

I resolved to get moving and get in shape this year, however, I have a little problem.  Okay, 4 little problems.  I used  to go walking with my youngest in the stroller but she's going through a "don't fence me in" stage and flatly refuses.  I figure I'm doing no one any good trying to walk with a screaming, struggling 2 year old in the stroller before 7am.  My neighbors will hate me.  Strike one.

To tell you just how desperate I am, I attempted to walk yesterday afternoon with all 4.  Can you say, insane. Between Madam Freedom protesting the stroller and the two boys fighting over who would push it  while I carried her-- Let's just say it was an unqualified disaster and leave it at that.  Strike two and how!

We have a pool in the complex, but again I have no one to watch my children during the day so that I could take advantage of it.  Also, it's cold this time of year unless you swim in the afternoon with the sun beating down on you.  I've tried to do it in the mornings with the kids parked in front of the tv.  I figured that hubby was there--though asleep--if there were any emergencies.  Too cold and I was too worried about the kids.  Strike three!

But what about your husband, I hear you say?  My husband is not a morning person.  He works late and sometimes he and I get a short walk together after the kids are in bed--we lock the door and do a series of short loops around the neighborhood.  But it's not every day.  It's not long and it's really not aerobic. 

I know I can't be the only homeschool mom with this dilema.  Help me ladies!  I've got 50 pounds to lose and just diet isn't going to get me in shape.  I want to be able to run a 5 k at the end of this year.  But how to do that when I can't even find time to walk 2 blocks?

Savor the rare sight of my children in long  sleeves.   The baby HATED socks and turtlenecks.  That is the only Santa she would have anything  to do with.

Sometimes I hesitate to send things out to friends about my younger son because even though I want to share things about him, I don't think most people would understand.  At first it was cool to have a 14 month old who could talk in complete sentences, but with that came extreme sensitivity to textures and changes in routine.  It took months of tantrums before he would stay his bed once we moved him from the crib.  A more naturally inflexible child, I've never met. 

He sees everything; he notices everything; he remembers everything.  The toilet at preschool overflowed one day when he flushed it.  For 6 months we struggled with his terrifying memory of the water.  Floods became a daily topic of conversation because  his imagination could see the house filling with water.  When the tsunami hit Asia, I wouldn't let him watch TV.  I knew he would not forget.  I knew he could not forget.  He still says to me, do you remember when such and such happened.  Often the thing he remembers happened  when he was 2 or 3.  Some I didn't remember until he mentioned it.

When he was almost 4, his cousin traced his  outline in our driveway with sidewalk chalk and  handed him the piece to color it in.  When I came over to look at his creation, I saw hair, eyes and lots of lines branching out through the torso, arms and legs.  Tactful mommy that I am I said, "Tell me about your picture."  He points to the lines in turn, "This is the small intestine, this is the large intestine, and these are the blood vessels."  The drawing had no mouth, but it had digestive and circulatory systems.

He's six  now.  Last night we went to see a children's play with some friends.  At the end he turned to me and said, "I'm so full of tonight that my head feels heavy." 

On the way home, I asked the children what they liked best about the musical.  My oldest loved the dialogue and the jokes and shared his favorite snippets.  My daughter loved the costumes and the dancing, especially the dance of the turtles and crabs.  And then my second son spoke up.  "I liked the monkeys."  Pause.  "Mommy, did you see the lightning bug at the back of  the room.  I liked that."  Another pause."Why didn't that sea gull have any eyes?  You know the one on the right when they hung them down from the ceiling and people danced under them.  The other one had eyes, but that one didn't. Why?"  I told him that probably it got damaged and no one thought the audience would notice. "But mommy, you know  I'm always looking for what's right and what's wrong.   A seagull wouldn't fly in it's sleep."  Another pause. "Why was that girl crying, Mommy?  When all the little girls were dancing in white, one of the girls was crying.  Why?"

My love, no wonder your head is heavy.  Lean your head against me and we'll pray that Jesus will help me answer your questions and help you sleep tonight

It started with a writing prompt--"You and your family go to the beach.  Your dad digs a hole to make a sandcastle an his spade hits something hard.  It's a. . . "

A few leading questions later, "What did the treasure chest look like?"  "Then what happened?"  "Was the cave rocky or sandy?" and a lost civilization was born.

Last night instead of playing video games, watching TV or whatever it is that other children do in the evenings, my boyswere making up their own underground lost civilization. Complete with maps. We had  to make them go to bed with the promise that they could work on thier civilization in the morning.

So far there is a desalinization plant that distributes water as rain and pieces of the sun captured in past space exploration and providing genuine sunlight so that the citizens won't suffer from vitamin D deficiency. Yep, we're nerds here.

It cracks me up when people want  the dirt on Barbados.  Truly, it has it's warts as do all countries but in my experience the good far outweighs the bad.  The one thing that is a thorn in the side of some potential residents is the concept of Island Time.

If you go to Latin countries, the attitude is called "Manana."  When we visited Italy it was alive and well.  We  had the following conversation at a vineyard.  "We're not open yet."  "When do you open for tours?"  "Oh after lunch."  "One, two?"  "Two, maybe 2:30." Can you imagine a store owner in the  good old US of A responding that way?

My first real experience with island time was when our water heater broke. It happened during rainy season.  My first hint that something was wrong was the slightly less than ice cold shower one morning. It had been cloudy and  rainy for a couple of days.  Since the water heater was a solar one, I figured that the power hadn't been able to keep up with our demands.  It wasn't until the next day and cold shower number two that I realized that although it wasn't raining,  water was pouring out of the downspout.

A gardener at the complex knocks at the door.  "Mrs.  O?" "Yes?"  "I think your waterheater is broke.  It 'pears to be leaking water."  "Can you turn it off?"  "No you need to call the owner."  All righty then.

"Mr. B, this is Mrs. O.  I think the water heater is broken.  We're getting no hot water and the water is pouring out of the downspout."  "No problem.  I'll get someone to take care of it."  "Thank you."

 Hours pass.  The children complain about the brisk baths.  Water is still pouring out of the downspout.

The sun sets.  No one  comes to turn off the water to the water heater.  I have no idea how to do it without shutting  water off to the whole house.  I'm not ready to do that yet.

The next morning.  "Mr. B this is Mrs. O.  No one came to fix the water heater yet."  "It's hard to get someone during rainy season."  "I understand but  don't you think someone should turn off the water to the heater.  Water is still pouring out  of the downspout." "But then you won't have any hot water."  "Um, I don't have any now."  "Oh. No problem.  Can you talk to the manager and have one of the gardeners turn it off?"  "Sure."

The manager is not available when I call the first time.  I picture the water table in Barbados dropping and people on the high side of the island turning on their taps and staring, bewildered at the lonely drips that result.

 "Hi, this is Mrs. O.  The water heater  at my condo is broken. Could one of  the gardeners turn off the water to the heater.  It's leaking so much that the water is pouring out of the downspout. " "But Mrs. O, if  I do that you won't have any hot water." "I don't have any now." "Okay, no problem."

Why am I letting this make me crazy you ask?  My parents griped at me if I left the water on while I brushed my teeth.  THE WATER IS POURING OUT OF THE DOWNSPOUT.  Did I mention that?

Later that day I begin to wonder.  Can "no problem" actually be translated as "It's not MY problem?"

Knock at the door.  "Are you Mrs. O? I'm here to turn off the water and fix your  heater."  "YES!"  I'm sure he never had anyone so happy to see him.

I felt much better after a hot shower.

(Orchid closeup taken at Andromeda Botanical Garden, Barbados)

When someone says the phrase "God's Eye View" they are usually refering to an extreme wide angle shot like a photo of the earth from space.  But I think we sometimes forget that God's eyes see the minute.  He sees to the heart of the flower, to the center of the atom.  He's a master of detail as any passing glance through a microscope will tell you.  I think that's why I love to take extremely close up pictures of small things--to remind  me that God sees the secrets, the hidden and the insignificant and  even in these often forgotten things, his hand is evident.

My oldest son is "What If."  If there is a pretend scenario that I have not heard and responded to, I don't know what it would be.  "What If " speculates on subjects like original sin, the environment, nature, books and miracles. "What if" sees all of the possibilities .  "What If"  follows the all of the possible paths to find a new way of doing things.  "What If" takes me beyond the probable to the endless potential.

Then we come to my second son, "Why."  "Why" asks questions tirelessly about everything under the sun.  "Why" keeps me in the encyclopedia or online searching for answers. "Why" studies everything in minute detail in a quest to know how things work and how they fit  into the world.  "Why" brings me back to the nuts and bolts of life and reminds me to marvel at how perfectly creation is intertwined.

"Let's Pretend" is my oldest daughter.  "Let's Pretend" has been every princess, storybook character and stuffed toy that comes to life at midnight.  "Let's Pretend" lives in a world  where the sky is sometimes purple and butterflies grow big enough to ride on.  "Let's Pretend" isn't afraid to dance in front of strangers or to wear fancy slippers to her brother's soccer practice.  "Let's  Pretend" reminds me of the magic of imagination and the precious gift of creativity.

Lastly, there's my little one "What's That."  "What's That" is always discovering and learning.  "What's That" is fascinated with every blade of grass, lizard and renegade frog.  "What's That" can put so much joy and wonder in the word  "rock" that you are forced to examine it and  proclaim it the most perfect rock you've ever seen.  "What's That" helps me realize that the miraculous can and often does come in tiny packages.

Where would my life be without "What If", "Why", "Let's Pretend" and "What's That"?  May they never loose those precious phrases no matter how grown up they become.

Putting up the tree the day after Thanksgiving is a tradition in my family. We crank up the Christmas music, put up the tree, string the lights and then the real fun begins--putting on the ornaments. We buy one ornament per child each year plus they usually make one and we get one as a family for each place we visit.

We unpack each ornament carefully. "This is the ornament you made when you were 3." "Oh this one we got you for your first Christmas. Weren't you an adorable baby?" "When did we get this one, Mommy." "Oh we got that the year Daddy and I got married." "That one was when we moved into our new house." We go through the ornaments one at a time and tell stories about that time in our lives. Those are precious moments for me--moments when family history is built and passed on. It's one of the things I missed most last year--our first Bajan Christmas.

Yesterday we put up the tree. We only had one little box to unpack, but the magic was still inside. "I remember when we made the paper chain. My part was so LONG" "Who sent us the little Santa Claus?" "That's from Heather, my friend from North Carolina." "My pipe cleaner candy cane is so pretty" "The snow shoes that say "Alaska," are from your friend at the North Pole, right?" "I like the little crane with the bell--who made that one?" "Oh that's from my friend Kirsten who lives near Washington, D.C." And on it went.

Our little 5 foot tree is standing by the back grill so you can see the green grass and tropical bushes in the back garden--but it feels like Christmas just the same.

We came to Barbados when she was only 4 months old and I never imagined that we would still be here for her 2nd birthday. She's been rocked to sleep in my arms in the beautiful blue Caribbean so many times and she's eaten more sand than I care to remember. Now she's pretending and playing Polly Pockets and dolls with her sister. She sings all the time. Some of the songs I understand (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, ABC's, Happy Birthday) and some are original compositions. She's such a sunny little thing except when she's riled but she can almost always be tickled back into a good mood.

I guess I'll have to finally admit that she isn't a baby any more. Okay, maybe next year.

A conversation between my youngest(2yrs old tomorrow) and I at 5 am this morning.

"Want juice Mama"
"You want juice,Please?"
"Peese Mama"
"Okay" pours juice
"Want PIZZA!"
"No Pizza today. Would you like some cereal or yogurt?"
"WHY no Pizza?"
"We don't have any pizza."
Pause for thought
"Otay. Want CANDY!"

Those of you who follow my blog will remember how determined my older daughter is.   We've dubbed her our "future world leader."  Enough said.

Last weekend, we attended a jungle themed birthday party for one of her friends.  They hired a lady to paint the kids faces so they could all be animals.  The party was filled with lions and tigers and zebras (oh my).

My daughter was bound and determined to get her face painted.  She waited in the very long line.  Other kids left the line to play "pin the tooth on the lion" but not her.  She stayed in line through the pinata. 

Her oldest brother gave up his place in line to her because he saw how much it meant to her (It's just like him too.  He's awesome.)  When she sat in the chair, she said to the lady very politely, "Make me a butterfly please."  There were no other butterflies there.  I don't know where she got the idea. 

She sat patiently through the process and came out beaming.  The birthday girl got upset and told her that she was supposed to be a jungle animal.  Without missing a beat, my daughter replied, "There are LOTS of butterflies in the jungle, so it IS a jungle animal." 

That's my girl--the Mighty Butterfly--Queen of the Jungle!

10.  When people say they are going to "shout you" you expect a phone call.

9.  You "give way" instead of yield in the round about.

8.  You signal with your wipers about half of the time because the signal is on the opposite side than in the U.S.

7.  You go "down by" someone's house regardless of the actual direction you're traveling.

6.  You understand that "chips" are french fries and "crisps" are chips (or are they crackers?).

5.  Your 6 year old asks for surfing lessons for his birthday in March.

4.  Sunblock is a staple on your master grocery list.

3.  You ask for a bathing suit for Christmas.

2.  Your kids eat chicken nuggets with a fork!

and the number one way is

1.  When you mention that Thanksgiving is only a week away your children ask you if you've made reservations. 

My mom is 69 years young.  She and my dad left today after a two week stay with us here in Barbados.  All my life, my mother has been afraid of water.  Until last year, I never saw her in water abover her waist.  Last year when they visited us, she got in the water with a life vest and went into the sea to swim with the turtles.  Really she was far to terrified to notice the turtles because the water was too deep for her feet to touch the ground.  But she got in that water and I was so proud of her.

This year, she suddenly decided to learn to float.  We were talking about swimming while we were driving around the island and I told her that once you figured out that the water would hold you up, you were most of the way to swimming.  We went to the beach right after that conversation and suddenly my mother said, "I'm going to float today." 

It was a gorgeous day.  The water was the amazing turquoise that I've only seen in the Caribbean.  My mother, 69 and fearful but determined, walked out in water UP TO HER NECK and started to try to float.  I stayed near her and lent a hand to steady her as she figured out how to keep her body upright in the water while she was floating.  And do you know what?  She did it!  It was only for a few moments at a time, but she did it!  She beamed as much as my kids do when they do something hard,  "Did you see that?  Both my feet are off of the ground!"  Go Mom!

It's kind of like learning to trust God.  To believe that something invisible can support me just doesn't make any sense but when I trust God, he holds me up. Each time Mom floated and the water held her up, she became a little more confident.  Each time I trust God and he comes through for me, my faith is built. 

 I guess life is all about learning to float.