Wednesday, April 11 - Alzheimers and my Mother.....
Yesterday my sister came down to visit. We are working on a scrapping a photo album for my mother for mothers day. When we started this project we wanted it to be for her birthday which was in January...then we thought for Valentines Day...then we hope for Mothers day! You see, my mother has alzheimers (or some other form of dimentia) and we want to help her w/remembering the people in her life. It takes a lot of work to go through these old photos, generations of people that we don't know, figure out who they are, some w'the help of other relatives, and then putting them on the pages, what order do we want them in, will mom even remember this person, is it worth putting in there??? Will this page be too crowded and she'll be bothered by it?
We noticed that she was being forgetful about 12-13 years ago. She would come home from work and complain how she can't understand this new system they have up and running and how Melissa shows her but Melissa explains it way to fast for me to keep up. That was a common complaint. Now see, my mother was the hub of the office. When computers first came out, she learned them, understood them and taught the others. She was a whiz w/the computer stuff and w/numbers. When she started showing signs of not understanding it, I started to get concerned. Over the next couple of years, and showing a few more signs, my sister said it was probably the stress of work and wait until she retires. After retirement it didn't get any better, but slowly got worse. You know, asking the same question over and over and over and over in a 30 minute time period was a big sign. My brother, sister and I sat down and talked with her about it. She thought (and still thinks) we're nuts, but trusts us and loves us enough to respect our concern and agreed to go to a dr...'to prove us wrong.' After going to a few different drs., it was confirmed that she has some type of dimentia....looking like alzheimers. Over the years it very slowly declined. These last couple of months have proven to be the largest decline!
My parents split up and divorced about 11 years ago. It was a marriage w/no love for many many more years than that. My father passed away this past February. That was the first sign that my mom's memory was getting much worse. When we went to tell her we said "we came to tell you that dad died" her response was "My father?". Her father died over 50 years ago! That day she never really understood who we were talking about. The next day my sister and I went to visit her and she seemed to get that it was a man she was married to, but she thinks she was married to him Yeeaarrs ago and only for a short time (they were married 40 years!). I don't think she ever understood that he was her childrens father. She also started to make up stories about her high school boyfriend (whom she hasn't seen in 55 years and is still alive) had died and she greatly confused the two men. Thankfully, the Lord was very gracious to me and let me see the humor in it all instead of the sadness at the time. Her made up stories were just hysterical and I had to leave her room to laugh which is better than the tears of sadness that often come up.
A couple of weeks ago I brought her to her drs. appt. They ask the typical questions about her memory. We had a new social worker before the dr. this time. She asked my mother how many children she has. My mother responded w/the correct number, 4. The sw said, 2 boys 2 girls? My mothers answer was, "um, no, all girls" When I reminded her that she has a son (its actually 3 girls, one son), she said "Who, I do? Who?" I reminded her of my brother and she said "Oh yea, well, I haven't seen him in ages, I don't know if he's dead or alive." She's seen him several times this year! Then later she told me how she and my father divorced. She had a whole story made up that wasn't true, but did happen to her mother. The drs. said its generation confusion. It was very bizarre. Besides that she is often thinking that my sister and I are Her sisters.
Well, I think we are heading on a down slope, but God is gracious and helping me through this on a daily basis. Thank you Jesus!
I
Comments
Wednesday, April 11 - Untitled Comment
Posted by proverbsmomof3
Wednesday, April 11 - Untitled Comment
Posted by PlainJane
That is so great you and your sister are putting together this scrapbook for her and working together to help your mother.
