Here are the answers to the BRAIN TEST. Of course many of you "Fallacy Detective" afficionados will want to quibble, but this is one of those pedantic jokes where it's no fun if you argue!
Oh, and sorry for the "Ameri-centric" questions. I didn't write this test! To help out our friends across the pond, let's make up a couple more suitable questions:
Sir Nigel paid Rodney two quid for sweeping his chimney. If Rodney had five bob left over from last month's relief check, how many rounds could he buy for the blokes at the pub?
If Suresh Swamibrahmin is bowling for today's match, and if Henry Chatsworth is batsman, how many wickets will India take from England after 50 overs?
Anyway, here are the real answers:
1. If you went to bed one night at 8:00, and wound up your alarm clock for 9:00 the next morning, how many hours of sleep would you get?
If you fell asleep right at 8:00 PM, you'd get one hour of sleep!!! Wind-up alarm clocks don't have AM and PM settings, so it would wake you up at 9:00 PM!!!
2. Do they have a fourth of July in England?
Yes, the day after July 3rd is still July 4th, in England, the USA, and also the rest of the world!!!
3. How many birthdays does the average person have?
One -- since the average person is only born one time, most people have only one actual birthday!!! The other "birthdays" are really just anniversaries!!!
4. Seven months have 31 days, April June, September and November have 30. How many have 28?
Twelve -- every month of the year has 28 days, though every one except February has more days!!!
5. A woman gives a beggar 50 cents. The woman is the beggar's sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. How come?
The beggar is the woman's sister!!! All you sexists out there assumed the beggar was a man!!!
6. Why can't a man living in Salem, NC be buried west of the Mississippi?
Because the man is living in Salem, NC!!! You aren't supposed to bury people until they're dead!!!
7. What two letters appear on every denomination of U.S. coins?
Ummm, how 'bout "U" and "S"???
8. How many outs are there in an inning of baseball?
Six outs per inning -- each team gets three outs per inning!!!
9. Is it legal for a man in Ohio to marry his widow's sister?
In Ohio (and presumably other places) a man cannot marry his widow's sister, since (if his wife is a widow) he'd have to be dead!!!
10. Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games, but there are no tie games. How can you explain this?
No one said the two men were playing checkers against *each other*!!!
11. Divide 30 by a half and add 10. What is your answer?
Seventy -- way back when I learned arithmetic, 30 divided by a half was the same as 30 times two, which equals 60, and another 10 equals seventy!!!
12. A hunter leaves camp and walks one mile due south, then walks one mile due east, at which point he shoots a bear. He then drags the bear one mile due north back to camp. What color was the bear?
The bear was white -- there's only one place on Earth where you can walk a given distance due south, walk any distance due east, and walk the same given distance due north to return to where you started: that place is the North Pole!!! So the bear must be a white polar bear!!!
13. Take two apples from three apples. How many do you have?
Two -- since you "took" two apples!!!
14. I have two U.S. coins totalling 55 cents. One is not a nickel. What are the coins?
A half-dollar and a nickel -- one coin was not a nickel, but no one said the other coin was also not a nickel!!!
15. If you had only one match and you walked into a room in which there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood-burning stove (at night and in the winter), which would you light first?
This gag is older than dirt -- you'd have to light the *match* first!!!
16. How far can a dog run into the woods?
How long is the dog? The dog can only run its length from nose to tail to get into the woods!!! After that, it's in the woods!!!
17. A doctor gives you three pills, telling you to take one every half hour. How long would the pills last?
One hour -- if you take one pill, then take the second a half-hour later, and the third a half-hour after that, you'll run out of pills after one hour!!!
18. A farmer has seventeen sheep. All but nine die. How many does he have?
Nine sheep -- since "all but nine die"!!!
19. How many of a kind did Moses take into the Ark?
Trick question -- Moses didn't take anything into the Ark, it was Noah!!!
20. A clerk in a butcher shop is 6 feet, five inches tall. What does he weigh?
Since he's a clerk in a butcher shop, he must weigh cuts of meat!!!
21. How many two-cent stamps are there in a dozen?
Well, duh!! There must be twelve two-cent stamps in a dozen, equalling 24 cents postage!!!
22. What was the name of the President of the United States in 1960?
Even though he wasn't yet the President in 1960, I suppose his name would have still been George W. Bush!
That was very good, and just to show you that I have been paying attention this time, might I suggest for complete authenticity, replacing "relief check" with "dole" ; )
Thank you for your help Jay, and your encouragment too, its much appreciated. I must say I am really blessed by getting to know this online community. As you said in one of your earlier posts, the culture here really is distinctly kind, upbuilding and respectful. Sadly that's quite remarkable.
Hey, are the veggies a-pureein'? We'll be there at about 5pm or so. Gotta hit Walmart first; kids forgot some stuff. See you and Deb soon!
How are you doing?
Those are quite funny~
Hope you have a GREAT Week! Come by my blog soon!
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*Rosie-Posie Iris Hardbottle* ~Luthien Alatariel Elanesse~
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